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okay long story short

my mom is in the hospital and has been for the past 3 nights (its her fourth day today, she might come home today, might not) because she had 5 minor strokes in the span of a day and a half due to stress at home and with her new job.

not to mention there's a shit ton of other things going on? (school is starting soon, i'm running for homecoming king and i gotta figure that shit out, general depression and anxiety, my schedule is all fucked up for school, i have a date wednesday, I almost burnt the house down the other day?? And a lot more, really bad shit that's going on that i really don't want to talk about that i deal with on a day to day basis.

what i'm saying is, I'm REALLY stressed out. I REALLY don't know how to deal with myself right now. Give me a break. please.

All i know is after this all i'm gonna hear about is how big the hospital bill is and it's gonna be lingering in the back of stuff for a while, i'm probably not gonna get to do a lot of things for my senior year (chicago trip, senior pictures, getting a yearbook, exc... ), i'm gonna need to get a job PRONTO if i want to do them. Which means suddenly coming over my anxiety which the chance of that happening is so fucking slim :~))
the worst part is like?? my dad has been blaming me for her stress pretty much saying its all my fault and i'm going to be the one who has to clean up their act around here and not him even though he hardly does anything? So i guess my self worth has been down the shitter?

honestly I'm really trying to get my mind off of stuff? art fight has been helping a lot so you're still gonna get art but only from that.

idk?? just. give me a break for a while and let me recover