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Description
When I saw the thing for pride month this idea popped into my head right away. The reason for this is simple....it's a representation of me.

I am a transwoman that's 44 years old. I never knew much about Transgender people but now that I look back on my life my god the signs for it were EVEYWHERE!. So here I sit in my room my mind yelling at me, that if I can't transition then what's the point. I have so many things that could stop me, from having only one kidney which makes medicines rough, to cancer, to major arthritis and also obesity as I have seen the tales of people not being able to get their gender reaffirming surgeries because the doctor told them they were too fat.

And so this picture is a representation of how I feel. Alone in the darkness the sadness practically smothering me. At the same time the woman I should be is there like a ghost. I can see her in the mirror after I have shaved and put on my wig. I can see her in pictures my husband will take for me when I put on dresses and makeup. But she never stays long, a simple shade but one I know is trying to comfort me until I can hopefully one day take over in front of the world, with pride and no fear.

So just a little side note as an easter egg in my picture. The picture on the guys shirt is actually my gaming avatar. You can see XyanyaVieme which is my gamertag on PSN is colored in the trans colors. Also below my GT is the name of the gaming group I run (A group of 2 right now but I hope this changes). The kitty girl is a picture a good friend made for me for my avatar and then the last little easter egg is on my avatars shirt is another redhead girl. This was drawn by another dear friend of mine and when I described the character I was telling her what I wish I could look like, the one who made my avatar put it on her shirt so I wouldn't lose that side of myself.

Description
When I saw the thing for pride month this idea popped into my head right away. The reason for this is simple....it's a representation of me.

I am a transwoman that's 44 years old. I never knew much about Transgender people but now that I look back on my life my god the signs for it were EVEYWHERE!. So here I sit in my room my mind yelling at me, that if I can't transition then what's the point. I have so many things that could stop me, from having only one kidney which makes medicines rough, to cancer, to major arthritis and also obesity as I have seen the tales of people not being able to get their gender reaffirming surgeries because the doctor told them they were too fat.

And so this picture is a representation of how I feel. Alone in the darkness the sadness practically smothering me. At the same time the woman I should be is there like a ghost. I can see her in the mirror after I have shaved and put on my wig. I can see her in pictures my husband will take for me when I put on dresses and makeup. But she never stays long, a simple shade but one I know is trying to comfort me until I can hopefully one day take over in front of the world, with pride and no fear.

So just a little side note as an easter egg in my picture. The picture on the guys shirt is actually my gaming avatar. You can see XyanyaVieme which is my gamertag on PSN is colored in the trans colors. Also below my GT is the name of the gaming group I run (A group of 2 right now but I hope this changes). The kitty girl is a picture a good friend made for me for my avatar and then the last little easter egg is on my avatars shirt is another redhead girl. This was drawn by another dear friend of mine and when I described the character I was telling her what I wish I could look like, the one who made my avatar put it on her shirt so I wouldn't lose that side of myself.