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Description
Please leave a comment, constructive cricticism is also welcomed

Scene description (I'll give my best, and noone will understand what they're talking about):

Kåortja went out into the Fog. He really hated it. Some said, they've seen Ellija go out, without weapons, or an obvious reason, he had drunk a bit too much in the last few hours, so he maybe was completely out of his mind, and noone wanted to go outside and search for him, most were afraid of this fog. Nomally noone dares to go outside at night, except some, including Ellija, but usually only to go hunting. And he was drunk, so he most probably couldn't defend himself properly, it was the first time this year that he drunk more than one mug of ale, what means he has severe mental problems.
Kåortja finally found him, just sittung motionless on the fog covered ground, staring into the void in front of him. He was glad that he found him, and wanted to say something to Ellija, but only a silent whispering passed his lips. He was shaking, the worst thing that could happen would be if the fog would suddenly start to move. He approched him, maybe if he touches him he would wake up from the lethargic state. Kåortja touched him on the shoulder, Ellija didn't respond in any way. He wanted to try it again, but what if he would just fall down and be dead... no, he wont..., but if...only one way to find out. Before Kåortja could try again, he heard a: "Hi there..." it was really silent but it was definitely Ellijas voice.
Relieved, Kåortja respondet "What the fuck are you doing?! What!? Why!? What's going on in your mind?! Are you crazy?! How can you.... "
E:"I was thinking...."
K:"But... , but why do you risk your life for thinking?!"
E:"I'm not risking my life...."
K:"Of course you are, you're not immune or anything, not even Hatja was immune you said!!"
E:"Oh, I am, I am surprised myself, ...if I wouldn't I'd be dead..."
K:"What?! Are you kidding, does that mean you went out to kill yourself?!"
E: "Not exactly, but some things are clearer now, and I don't want to follow this path even further..."
K:"What are you talking about?!"
E:"You know what I'm talking about!"
K:*embarrassed silence*..... "Oh, shit! Who this time?"
E:"Can't tell you... sorry..." ...*silence*... "I don't want to go on with this!!"
K:"You know you have to... Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry..."
E:"What should I do?"
K:"Why are you asking me?"
E:"Don't know...maybe because I can't talk to anyone else about this topic?"
K:"You can impossibly leave them all to their death...you don't have a lot of options"
E:"I have exactly three options, and I hate all of them..."
.....*silence*
K:"Hey, dude let's go inside, I don't want to stay out here any longer"
E:"Well, Ok, then go"
K:"I won't return alone! Stand up! Come on! You definitely drunk to much, you should leave that to me, I know how to handle this..."

*so and then he dragged Ellija to the village-entrance again*

Description
Please leave a comment, constructive cricticism is also welcomed

Scene description (I'll give my best, and noone will understand what they're talking about):

Kåortja went out into the Fog. He really hated it. Some said, they've seen Ellija go out, without weapons, or an obvious reason, he had drunk a bit too much in the last few hours, so he maybe was completely out of his mind, and noone wanted to go outside and search for him, most were afraid of this fog. Nomally noone dares to go outside at night, except some, including Ellija, but usually only to go hunting. And he was drunk, so he most probably couldn't defend himself properly, it was the first time this year that he drunk more than one mug of ale, what means he has severe mental problems.
Kåortja finally found him, just sittung motionless on the fog covered ground, staring into the void in front of him. He was glad that he found him, and wanted to say something to Ellija, but only a silent whispering passed his lips. He was shaking, the worst thing that could happen would be if the fog would suddenly start to move. He approched him, maybe if he touches him he would wake up from the lethargic state. Kåortja touched him on the shoulder, Ellija didn't respond in any way. He wanted to try it again, but what if he would just fall down and be dead... no, he wont..., but if...only one way to find out. Before Kåortja could try again, he heard a: "Hi there..." it was really silent but it was definitely Ellijas voice.
Relieved, Kåortja respondet "What the fuck are you doing?! What!? Why!? What's going on in your mind?! Are you crazy?! How can you.... "
E:"I was thinking...."
K:"But... , but why do you risk your life for thinking?!"
E:"I'm not risking my life...."
K:"Of course you are, you're not immune or anything, not even Hatja was immune you said!!"
E:"Oh, I am, I am surprised myself, ...if I wouldn't I'd be dead..."
K:"What?! Are you kidding, does that mean you went out to kill yourself?!"
E: "Not exactly, but some things are clearer now, and I don't want to follow this path even further..."
K:"What are you talking about?!"
E:"You know what I'm talking about!"
K:*embarrassed silence*..... "Oh, shit! Who this time?"
E:"Can't tell you... sorry..." ...*silence*... "I don't want to go on with this!!"
K:"You know you have to... Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry..."
E:"What should I do?"
K:"Why are you asking me?"
E:"Don't know...maybe because I can't talk to anyone else about this topic?"
K:"You can impossibly leave them all to their death...you don't have a lot of options"
E:"I have exactly three options, and I hate all of them..."
.....*silence*
K:"Hey, dude let's go inside, I don't want to stay out here any longer"
E:"Well, Ok, then go"
K:"I won't return alone! Stand up! Come on! You definitely drunk to much, you should leave that to me, I know how to handle this..."

*so and then he dragged Ellija to the village-entrance again*