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Severus Snape, Potions Master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was in a good mood. No one at Hogwarts had ever seen him in a good mood. They had only ever seen him in a bad mood.
But today, he was in a good mood. That was because he was taking a leisurely stroll through the Forbidden Forest, and was far away from those dunderheads who thought that they were students worthy of learning potions from him. Him! Severus Snape! Master of Potions!
He was not going to think about that.
“What a LOVELY day for a WALK!!!” Snape yelled at thin air. The trees around him shuddered, but he did not notice. He was in too good a mood.
Suddenly, Snape caught a glimpse of something turquoise through a gap in the dense trees.
“WHAT is THAT?” Snape bellowed. He liked to shout.
Coming closer, Snape realized that it was completely covered in undergrowth, dirt and leaves and was therefore unrecognizable.
“I will SYPHON OFF the earth CLINGING to the CURIOUS OBJECT!” Snape cried, hurrying forward and pulling out his wand. Using the syphoning charm, he succeeded in cleaning off the undergrowth, revealing a car. It was a bright blue Ford Anglia. At first, Snape stood there, uncertain. Then, with a shock, he recognized it.
“I recognize this!” he shouted. “THIS is the FORD ANGLIA that POTTER and his ORANGE-HAIRED FRIEND stole from orange one’s father and made FLY to Hogwarts!”  Harry Potter was the son of James Potter, Snape’s enemy, and the biggest nuisance anywhere, according to him at least. Slowly, Snape backed away. The car seemed to stare him down.
“I am FRIGHTENED of you!” Snape screamed, not really knowing why he was talking to it.
Snape stared at it for many minutes, then curiosity overpowered him. He slowly approached the car. “Well!” he roared, “It wouldn’t HURT to try and DRIVE this a little, WOULD it??”
The car seemed to nod, so Snape opened one of the car doors, got in, and closed the door. It was only after he had sat there for a few seconds that he realized that he was not in the drivers seat. Instead, he had sat in one of the passenger seats in the back.
“WHAT a SILLY mistake!!” Snape shouted, getting out of the car. He opened the correct door, sat in the drivers seat and stared at the dashboard. He realized suddenly that he did not know how to drive.
“I WONDER WHAT I SHOULD DO NOW,” he screamed a the dashboard.
As if to answer his query, the car suddenly accelerated and began driving through the Forbidden Forest. Snape instinctively seized the steering wheel. He turned it sharply to the right and promptly crashed the car into a tree.
“ARG!” Snape screeched and he jerked the steering wheel to the right. The car backed up, veered right and sped towards Hogwarts.

Hermione Granger was sitting on her bed in her dormitory. She was the only one up here, which suited her perfectly, since she was taking advantage of the silence and solitude to read. She was reading Hogwarts, a History for the fiftieth time (she had kept count with tally marks on the inside front cover). She found it fascinating and was always very annoyed that no one else that she knew had read it.
A ray of sunlight fell across her bed. The sudden brightness caused her to look up from her book.
“Hmm...” she thought. “Maybe I’ll take a break from reading and go for a walk. After all, it’s a beautiful Sunday and I don’t have any work to do.”
Hermione put her book aside, marking her page very carefully. She swung herself out of bed and put on her sneakers. She then walked out of her dormitory and down the spiral staircase that led to the Gryffindor common room. It was completely deserted, apart from two boys sitting in a corner by the large stone fireplace, pouring over their homework. Hermione suppressed a sigh. The boys were her two best friends: Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. They always left their homework until the last minute. She walked over to them to check on their progress.
“Hi,” she said as she approached. Both boys turned.
“Oh, hi,” Ron replied distractedly, attention still on the Transfiguration essay he was working on. “Hey, you couldn’t help us, could you?”
“No,” said Hermione. “Sorry. I’m going for a walk.”
“Alright,” muttered Ron.
“See you later, then,” was Harry’s reply.
“Bye,” said Hermione. Slipping through the portrait hole, she left the common room.
Outside, the grounds sparkled with sunlight and the air was crisp and clear. It was a beautiful early Spring day. Oddly enough, the grounds outside the front doors were deserted. Hermione supposed that everyone was at the other side of the school, by the lake, so she started to walk in that direction.
Suddenly, she heard a noise behind her that sounded suspiciously like screeching tires. Turning, Hermione was astonished to observe a blue Ford Anglia hurtling straight towards her. Coming to her senses just in time, she dove aside to avoid being squashed. The car skidded to a halt. If anything could have made her more perplexed, it would have been the sight of her Potions teacher, Severus Snape, step out of the car.
“MISS GRANGER!” he shrieked, rounding on Hermione. “WHAT do you THINK you are DOING?????”
“Walking,” she muttered.
“You nearly got yourself KILLED!!” Snape bawled, as if he cared whether she lived or died. “WHEN will you LEARN???” He stood there, breathing hard. Then, he shook his head.
“NEVER try to talk sense into a sixteen-year-old,” he cried, attempting to keep his voice low as if to talk to himself, but failing horribly. Hermione could hear every word. “They NEVER listen.” He sighed very loudly and the added, much louder, “Ms. Granger, would you like to learn how to drive?”
Hermione was so utterly shocked that her crabby, strict, mean teacher would suddenly offer her driving lessons that she did not answer for several minutes. Finding her voice, she managed to squeak, “Learn- learn how to drive?!”
“YES LEARN HOW TO DRIVE!!!” Snape bellowed. “WHAT DID YOU THINK I MEANT???”
Hermione cowered. “Fine, yes, then!” she squeaked.
“Get in then,” Snape cried, flinging open the door to the driver seat. Extremely nervous, Hermione slipped into the car and placed her hand on the steering wheel. Snape slammed the door. She was trapped.
“Relax!!” Snape screamed from outside. “Let the car ACCELERATE by ITSELF, then use the steering wheel to STEER!!”
Hermione stared at the dashboard, waiting for something to happen. Suddenly, with an almighty lurch, the car took off, bouncing along the uneven grass in front of Hogwarts. Terrified, Hermione turned the steering wheel as far as it would go to the right to avoid crashing into the wall of the school. The car spun 360 degrees in a perfect circle.
“No, no, NO!!” Snape bellowed. “Miss Granger, GET OUT OF THAT CAR NOW!!!!!”
“The car screamed to a halt and Hermione scrambled out as fast as she could, more that happy to obey. Snape promptly took her place behind the wheel.
“LIKE THIS!” he screamed, “WATCH AND LEARN!” Hermione peered shakily into the car, watching as the car revved up again. Snape jerked the steering wheel to the left and the car veered sharply to the left. Snape really had not gotten the hang of driving in the 20 minutes that had elapsed since he had discovered the car. This especially became apparent when Snape lost control of the steering wheel and the car wheeled around, shooting straight at Hermione again.
“STOP, STOP!!!!” Snape yelled, taking his wand out of his pocket. He started whacking the windshield, hoping to regain control of the blue vehicle. But the Ford Anglia was a magical car and, as a result, had a mind of its own. It was still running Hermione down. This time, she did not get out of the way fast enough. Snape’s wand snapped cleanly in half just as the car slammed into Hermione. She fell to the ground, unconscious, and the car lurched to a stop.
Snape just stared from his broken wand, feeling a scream of horror rise in his throat. He could really care less about Hermione, who was sprawled on the ground, most likely with several broken bones. Just as he was about to let loose his rage, Professor McGonagall raced through the front doors. She stared at the scene in front of her, uncomprehending. She let out a cry of shock when she noticed Hermione sprawled in front of the car. Snape tried to sink below her line of sight, but without success.
“SEVERUS SNAPE!” Professor McGonagall cried. “What happened here?”   Snape did not like to obey anyone, but Professor McGonagall was so intimidating to him that he meekly got out of the car to tell her the whole story in a surprisingly quiet voice.
When he had finished, she looked positively livid.
“Severus, how dare you? That was no way to treat a student! Giving her a driving lesson? What were you thinking? Why were you even in that car in the first place? 50 points from Slytherin House!”
Snape was shocked. He spluttered and searched for words, but Professor McGonagall glared at him and went over to Hermione, conjuring a stretcher from midair. Levitating Hermione onto it with her wand, she proceeded to levitate the stretcher into the air. It began to float towards the castle.
Snape stood rooted to the spot. Then, shaking himself out of his reverie, he began to run up to Dumbledore’s office. He burst in on the Headmaster while he was sorting papers.
“Dumbledore!” he cried. Out of breath as he was, he still managed to talk at the top of his voice.
“Severus!” Dumbledore replied, looking up at Snape’s dramatic entrance.
“Could you fix this?” Snape demanded, throwing his very broken wand onto the Headmaster’s desk. Dumbledore peered at the wand through his half-moon spectacles. He picked up the broken halves and waved them about. He looked at them some more. Snape was getting very impatient.
“JUST FIX THE BLOODY THING ALREADY!!!” he roared and Dumbledore looked up again.
“One of the things you must learn, Severus,” he said sternly, “Is patience.”
Snape also needed to learn how to be quieter, but Dumbledore was too polite to mention this. While Snape glared, Dumbledore smiled a little, but took out his wand. He pointed it at Snape’s wand and said, “Reparo!” which was, of course, the repairing charm. The wand resealed itself. With a normal wand, this spell would have done next to nothing, but since Dumbledore possessed the powerful Elder Wand, the spell worked.
“Thank you, Dumbledore,” said Snape stiffly.
“You are quite welcome!” replied Dumbledore brightly. “Now I suppose you will want to go down to the hospital wing to check on Miss Granger?”
Snape started. “How do you know about THAT?”
“Professor McGonagall told me,” said Dumbledore with an annoying twinkle in his eyes.
“Nice to keep things private around here,” snarled Snape. “How did that old witch tell you so fast?”
“Professor McGonagall,” said Dumbledore, emphasizing her name, “sent her Patronus right up after she took Miss Granger to the hospital wing. It told me.”
Snape scowled a horrible scowl. “Alright, I’ll go visit her.” he said angrily.
“Tell her to get well from me!” called Dumbledore as Snape swept furiously from the office.

“Ah, Severus!” was Madame Pomfery’s greeting as Snape entered the hospital wing. “Are you here to see what damage you have done to Miss-”
“I KNOW!!!!!” bellowed Snape. “I’M SORRY I INJURED HER!!! STOP HARPING ON IT FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!”
Madame Pomfery looked extremely taken aback, but stepped aside slowly so Snape could get past her. Snape pushed past her towards the only occupied bed, where Hermione was lying, white faced and sleeping. Surrounding her were Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. They both stared at Snape as he came closer, both wearing expressions of the utmost hatred.
“How is Miss Granger?” asked Snape through very gritted teeth, practically spitting the words.
“Unwell!” cried Ron, jumping to his feet. “What were you thinking, running into her like that??” Harry was on his feet too, still glaring.
“I DID NOT RUN INTO HER!” shrieked Snape. “I LOST CONTROL OF THE STUPID STEERING WHEEL. MAY I ALSO REMIND YOU THAT THE STUPID STEERING WHEEL BELONGED TO YOUR FATHER’S STUPID CAR. YOU HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF FOR BRINGING THAT CAR ONTO SCHOOL GROUNDS!”
“But you shouldn’t have been in that car in the first place!” yelled Harry. “It was an idiotic thing of you to do!”
“POTTER! WATCH YOUR MOUTH!” Snape bellowed. “Twenty STUPID points from Gryffindor!”
“He can say whatever he likes!” shouted Ron. “You injured my girlfr- I mean, er, our friend!” he faltered.
Snape smirked in his mind. He knew Ron had about to say “my girlfriend”, even though it was very clear that he already had a girlfriend- a girl named Lavender Brown from Gryffindor. His amusement did not cool his rage in any way, however.
“No he cannot!!!” he screeched, eyes popping slightly in his anger. “I am a TEACHER!”
“Well you don’t act like one!” Harry shouted back.
“FIFTY MORE STUPID POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!!!” roared Snape. “HOW DARE YOU, POTTER??”
Several things then happened at once. Madame Pomfery finally ran out of her office at all the shouting, Hermione stirred fretfully and Harry and Ron rushed to her side, while Snape not-so-silently fumed.
“Snape!” said Madame Pomfery. “If you are going to continue disturbing my patient’s visitors, I’m going to have to ask you to leave!”
Much more than willing and still fuming, Snape strode as fast as he could from the hospital wing, banging through the doors. He went straight back to the Forbidden Forest. His rage made him so blind to everything else that he failed to notice that the Ford Anglia had disappeared from the front lawn.
After a nice tantrum, which involved a lot of cursing, throwing rocks and sticks, kicking logs and trees and more cursing, Snape felt better. He sat down heavily on one of the logs that he had kicked and began massaging his many throbbing toes. Soon, he felt so much better that he started to sing “It’s the Best Day Ever!” at the top of his voice.
After a few minutes of this, Snape caught sight of something shiny and red through the trees. At the exact same moment, Harry Potter got up from Hermione’s bedside and announced that he was going to go for a walk.....