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Description
She kept staring up at the sky. Her aged Civic seemed so tiny compared to the sky. She seemed so tiny compared to the sky. All of her problems seemed so miniscule and unimportant. Why couldn’t the sky be real, she thought.
   It was dark and there were stars everywhere and she really couldn’t remember the last time she had really looked up at a night sky.
   Then the thoughts raced back.
   It had been with her mother. The whole family had chosen to take a week off of school and work in the middle of April. They had rented a cabin in the Illinois forest where they had some family nearby, and they were all happy to finally get away from the stresses of life. Her father had even turned off the cell phone and left the laptop at home. That was the last time she would ever see him do that.
   During the last night there her mother had called her out late in the night to just chat life over, woman to woman. She walked out to a large porch that stretched the length of the cabin. The wood was thick and her mother kept describing it as beautiful oak. The porch looked out over Mendota Lake. It shined brilliantly in the night sky.
   Her mother was the happiest woman she had ever met and it seemed like she radiated when they talked. She was a golden tan and had long blonde hair that stretched past her lower back. That might have been the only thing she regretted about her mother. She was so beautiful and she wished night after night that she could be like her mother. God she missed her.
   Her mother started the conversation and like usual had no real thoughts on to where it might go. This was what was fun about her mother. She lived for a good conversation. Her father was the complete opposite, always talking with a purpose. It was weird. Sometimes she hated him for that. Sometimes she just wished he could lay back and enjoy his life. But like he always said, “I have my schedule and then I have my life.”
   “Are you enjoying yourself?” Her mother asked staring out into the night sky.
   “Yeah. It is great to have a break from school and friends. Are we going to see Nana while we are out here?”
   “Yeah, we will probably go out to dinner one of these nights. Your Aunt Michelle is staying with her for the week too. It will be good for you kids to see her.”
   She nodded nonchalantly.
   “Ya know Rach, your father and I have been talking about having another kid. He didn’t like the idea, but I thought since you are a teenager now we could tell you.”
   Another kid, she thought. Wow. This was wonderful news. All her friends had little brothers and sisters and she always was so jealous when she went over to their houses. The closest she had really come to having a sibling, besides her sister who was two years younger, was the neighbors’ kids when she babysat them. But this was something different. This was wonderful.
   “That sounds great. What do you want? A boy or a girl?”
   “It really doesn’t matter to me. I just think your father and I should have another before we finish off. We are still young whether you kids think so or not.”
   Suddenly she was jolted back into reality. She was sitting in a car by herself, alone on an empty road. O, how she wished her mother could be here now. Her mother had been young. Her mother had only been thirty-six and she was barely thirteen.
   Things would be so much different. She would be forced to make good grades, but she now would do anything to have some who cared. She had never missed punished until now. Until the truth was real.
   But she would be joining her mother soon. She knew this.
   She reached in the pocket of her long jacket and pulled out a picture of her family and what it used to be. Her sister and her mother were long gone now. So it was just her father and herself. She ripped her father out of the picture and then stared at her mother. She reached with her other hand into another pocket slowly revealing a long silver barrel belonging to her father’s magnum.
   She had stolen it while he was at work and she knew he wouldn’t notice. He would come home from work around eleven and then hide in the darkness of the garage and take shots of Crown, washing away the stress and problems of the day. He would continue the shots until he passed out on the concrete floor sometime around two. She would hear him wake up and move along wearily in the middle of the night sometime before morning.
   She pulled the magnum up towards her face and stared into the long black hole. The gun was a lot heavier than it had been only an hour before when she had stolen it from her father’s closet in the shoebox on the shelf.
   She was mesmerized at the simplicity of the gun. What kind of concept was a gun anyway? Her father never used any of them, he just liked to have them so when his friends came over he could pull out his different shapes and models. He called himself a collector and attended all the local gun shows.
   “This one was used at Gettysburg,” he would rave. “This one dates back to the late 1700s.”
   My mother hated the guns. She made him hide him up in his closet so that my sister and I would never see them, she thought. Whenever his friends came over and he went to raving she would take us to get a blueberry ice cream at Dave’s Ice Cream Parlor. A month or two after she died, the friends began showing up again, but my father never mentioned the ice cream. He usually didn’t say anything at all.
   She opened her mouth and gently placed it on her tongue immediately tasting the cold metal. She pulled it out and pointed it down towards the ground. She looked back down at the picture of her broken family. Why did the plane home have to crash?
   It was her father’s fault that she had not been on the plane. He said he didn’t need to waste the money on three tickets, so she had had to take the long drive home. Why couldn’t she have been on the plane? None of this would have come this far.

Description
She kept staring up at the sky. Her aged Civic seemed so tiny compared to the sky. She seemed so tiny compared to the sky. All of her problems seemed so miniscule and unimportant. Why couldn’t the sky be real, she thought.
   It was dark and there were stars everywhere and she really couldn’t remember the last time she had really looked up at a night sky.
   Then the thoughts raced back.
   It had been with her mother. The whole family had chosen to take a week off of school and work in the middle of April. They had rented a cabin in the Illinois forest where they had some family nearby, and they were all happy to finally get away from the stresses of life. Her father had even turned off the cell phone and left the laptop at home. That was the last time she would ever see him do that.
   During the last night there her mother had called her out late in the night to just chat life over, woman to woman. She walked out to a large porch that stretched the length of the cabin. The wood was thick and her mother kept describing it as beautiful oak. The porch looked out over Mendota Lake. It shined brilliantly in the night sky.
   Her mother was the happiest woman she had ever met and it seemed like she radiated when they talked. She was a golden tan and had long blonde hair that stretched past her lower back. That might have been the only thing she regretted about her mother. She was so beautiful and she wished night after night that she could be like her mother. God she missed her.
   Her mother started the conversation and like usual had no real thoughts on to where it might go. This was what was fun about her mother. She lived for a good conversation. Her father was the complete opposite, always talking with a purpose. It was weird. Sometimes she hated him for that. Sometimes she just wished he could lay back and enjoy his life. But like he always said, “I have my schedule and then I have my life.”
   “Are you enjoying yourself?” Her mother asked staring out into the night sky.
   “Yeah. It is great to have a break from school and friends. Are we going to see Nana while we are out here?”
   “Yeah, we will probably go out to dinner one of these nights. Your Aunt Michelle is staying with her for the week too. It will be good for you kids to see her.”
   She nodded nonchalantly.
   “Ya know Rach, your father and I have been talking about having another kid. He didn’t like the idea, but I thought since you are a teenager now we could tell you.”
   Another kid, she thought. Wow. This was wonderful news. All her friends had little brothers and sisters and she always was so jealous when she went over to their houses. The closest she had really come to having a sibling, besides her sister who was two years younger, was the neighbors’ kids when she babysat them. But this was something different. This was wonderful.
   “That sounds great. What do you want? A boy or a girl?”
   “It really doesn’t matter to me. I just think your father and I should have another before we finish off. We are still young whether you kids think so or not.”
   Suddenly she was jolted back into reality. She was sitting in a car by herself, alone on an empty road. O, how she wished her mother could be here now. Her mother had been young. Her mother had only been thirty-six and she was barely thirteen.
   Things would be so much different. She would be forced to make good grades, but she now would do anything to have some who cared. She had never missed punished until now. Until the truth was real.
   But she would be joining her mother soon. She knew this.
   She reached in the pocket of her long jacket and pulled out a picture of her family and what it used to be. Her sister and her mother were long gone now. So it was just her father and herself. She ripped her father out of the picture and then stared at her mother. She reached with her other hand into another pocket slowly revealing a long silver barrel belonging to her father’s magnum.
   She had stolen it while he was at work and she knew he wouldn’t notice. He would come home from work around eleven and then hide in the darkness of the garage and take shots of Crown, washing away the stress and problems of the day. He would continue the shots until he passed out on the concrete floor sometime around two. She would hear him wake up and move along wearily in the middle of the night sometime before morning.
   She pulled the magnum up towards her face and stared into the long black hole. The gun was a lot heavier than it had been only an hour before when she had stolen it from her father’s closet in the shoebox on the shelf.
   She was mesmerized at the simplicity of the gun. What kind of concept was a gun anyway? Her father never used any of them, he just liked to have them so when his friends came over he could pull out his different shapes and models. He called himself a collector and attended all the local gun shows.
   “This one was used at Gettysburg,” he would rave. “This one dates back to the late 1700s.”
   My mother hated the guns. She made him hide him up in his closet so that my sister and I would never see them, she thought. Whenever his friends came over and he went to raving she would take us to get a blueberry ice cream at Dave’s Ice Cream Parlor. A month or two after she died, the friends began showing up again, but my father never mentioned the ice cream. He usually didn’t say anything at all.
   She opened her mouth and gently placed it on her tongue immediately tasting the cold metal. She pulled it out and pointed it down towards the ground. She looked back down at the picture of her broken family. Why did the plane home have to crash?
   It was her father’s fault that she had not been on the plane. He said he didn’t need to waste the money on three tickets, so she had had to take the long drive home. Why couldn’t she have been on the plane? None of this would have come this far.