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Description
Like a lot of people on the internet, I put up a facade. After all, you can be who you want to be, say what you want to, and easily get away with it all the while knowing you're different from what you let on. You can lie and nobody would ever know.

But, like a lot of people, my facade has begun to crack.

I don't lie about what I am. I am a girl, I am fifteen, and I do draw whatever spews forth from my head. However, I lie more about who I am, the mental/emotional shit that nobody likes to hear. I do give honesty in that though, I do say when I'm happy or sad or upset, but sometimes I'm wrong. Sometimes after a bad thing I say I'm getting better, I've usually gotten worse. I'll say "Oh, I don't mind." or talk to you as a normal person, but inside, I'm roiling with other emotions I want to set free, but can't in fear I would offend you (and I'm honest here, it's not romance/lust/or anything like that, so strike that off you sick bastards).

After all, if I completely tell the truth about all my emotions, do you know what that would make me? A wangsty little bitch with a load of butthurt. That's how people like that are seen, unless they whine consistently over nothing and everything. I don't mind people venting to me about how they feel, but unless I'm close to them, I feel if I start to vent, they won't listen or they'll get really pissy with me for doing that. It's happened.

However, there's the occasion, and it's been happening more and more now, that some of my hidden feelings are slipping out. I usually try to pin the blame on something else, but I know it's just been building up to a point now, and with lack of sleep and... yes, this is the worst week... it's been piling on even faster. I've had a lifetime of a shitty sleep pattern and about a month of near-sleepless nights now, so the strain to keep up the lighter side is getting truly horrendous. You've seen it in a few journals, you've seen it in my descriptions, hell, even in some of my RPing, it's starting to come out, and sometimes it's too late for me to make an excuse.

Venting with art and even some writing usually helped me, but now it's barely putting a dent in, so it's time to really let this fucker loose. I'm incredibly upset and disappointed and hurt by some of the things you people will do (and out of courtesy, I won't mention names, but if you know who you are and you want to chew me out, be mature and note me. And no, I'm not targeting this at one person, so don't jump the gun).

Unless I do something involving some of you, you won't say a thing to me. Even if I've known you, you just ignore and ignore until something comes up to your liking, and then you come in. You can complain about how people are to me, but with some of the things I see you do, I want to say "hey guess what? you're one of them too." You can tell me that you don't want to do something, but when it pops up somewhere else with someone else, you'll do it. If that isn't a slap in the face enough, you can bitch about how people are treating you and then end up you're doing the same to them. Hell, I'm not the only one being hurt by this either, there are others as well!

This doesn't mean I want you to come in and talk to me every fucking day though. It doesn't mean you have to fave everything. It doesn't mean you have to vent to me ALL the time. It doesn't mean you have to do anything, except maybe watch your actions vs. your words, and see how they line up. I am understanding, unless I don't know why, like here. I don't know why, so I don't understand, so of COURSE I'm feeling hurt, of COURSE I'm feeling neglected, of COURSE I'm feeling betrayed.

All I really wanted is to truly vent, and to get an answer on why. Call me the wangsty little bitch with a load of butthurt, because if that's how you see me, then fine, that's what I am to you people.

Pffew... okay, that's off my chest.

This picture started out originally going to be completely digital, but seeing as how the arms kept shrinking on me, I resported to the good-old fashioned traditional I so love. Obviously, I didn't put too much effort into this, even though this is a vent piece... I'll tell you now, I don't put out a lot when it comes to vent, I just go wild.

And... yes I know the mask has more vivid shades, but keep in mind that's not bleeding out of it's orfices. *nodnod*

Songs that I heard doing this stuff-
"Everybody's Fool" ~ Evanescence
"Faceless" ~ Godsmack

Now I have a reason for using Irken Iraa rather than Varigan Iraa or Tuyuki. Varigan Iraa is more a cheerful character, and I found I am not able to draw her in vent art without converting her to wolf Tuyuki. Human Tuyuki I could've easily used for this piece, but I didn't because she's more depicted for sorrow and other such sufferings. Irken Iraa on the other hand is my anger and bitterness. I guess you could call Iraa my "darkside" but I don't see her as that. She's just where all my aggression goes to. Yes, I do feel sad and maybe even depressed over this, but those aren't my dominant emotions in here. Hurt, anger, bitterness, those won out, hence Iraa being the subject.

Now, how the fuck did you people manage to read this entire thing without just scrolling off to another page? You people are dedicated. If you read all the way through this, good job. You either wanted to waste your time or you read everyone's descriptions all the way through. I'm impressed if you did though.

Iraa >>>
Irkens >>> JCV

Oh yeah, and if I see anyone taking this picture (which I doubt, a lot of you people prefer my RAPR pics for taking and sticking places) without asking me, I'll do a lot more than hunt you down and gut you like a fish.

Description
Like a lot of people on the internet, I put up a facade. After all, you can be who you want to be, say what you want to, and easily get away with it all the while knowing you're different from what you let on. You can lie and nobody would ever know.

But, like a lot of people, my facade has begun to crack.

I don't lie about what I am. I am a girl, I am fifteen, and I do draw whatever spews forth from my head. However, I lie more about who I am, the mental/emotional shit that nobody likes to hear. I do give honesty in that though, I do say when I'm happy or sad or upset, but sometimes I'm wrong. Sometimes after a bad thing I say I'm getting better, I've usually gotten worse. I'll say "Oh, I don't mind." or talk to you as a normal person, but inside, I'm roiling with other emotions I want to set free, but can't in fear I would offend you (and I'm honest here, it's not romance/lust/or anything like that, so strike that off you sick bastards).

After all, if I completely tell the truth about all my emotions, do you know what that would make me? A wangsty little bitch with a load of butthurt. That's how people like that are seen, unless they whine consistently over nothing and everything. I don't mind people venting to me about how they feel, but unless I'm close to them, I feel if I start to vent, they won't listen or they'll get really pissy with me for doing that. It's happened.

However, there's the occasion, and it's been happening more and more now, that some of my hidden feelings are slipping out. I usually try to pin the blame on something else, but I know it's just been building up to a point now, and with lack of sleep and... yes, this is the worst week... it's been piling on even faster. I've had a lifetime of a shitty sleep pattern and about a month of near-sleepless nights now, so the strain to keep up the lighter side is getting truly horrendous. You've seen it in a few journals, you've seen it in my descriptions, hell, even in some of my RPing, it's starting to come out, and sometimes it's too late for me to make an excuse.

Venting with art and even some writing usually helped me, but now it's barely putting a dent in, so it's time to really let this fucker loose. I'm incredibly upset and disappointed and hurt by some of the things you people will do (and out of courtesy, I won't mention names, but if you know who you are and you want to chew me out, be mature and note me. And no, I'm not targeting this at one person, so don't jump the gun).

Unless I do something involving some of you, you won't say a thing to me. Even if I've known you, you just ignore and ignore until something comes up to your liking, and then you come in. You can complain about how people are to me, but with some of the things I see you do, I want to say "hey guess what? you're one of them too." You can tell me that you don't want to do something, but when it pops up somewhere else with someone else, you'll do it. If that isn't a slap in the face enough, you can bitch about how people are treating you and then end up you're doing the same to them. Hell, I'm not the only one being hurt by this either, there are others as well!

This doesn't mean I want you to come in and talk to me every fucking day though. It doesn't mean you have to fave everything. It doesn't mean you have to vent to me ALL the time. It doesn't mean you have to do anything, except maybe watch your actions vs. your words, and see how they line up. I am understanding, unless I don't know why, like here. I don't know why, so I don't understand, so of COURSE I'm feeling hurt, of COURSE I'm feeling neglected, of COURSE I'm feeling betrayed.

All I really wanted is to truly vent, and to get an answer on why. Call me the wangsty little bitch with a load of butthurt, because if that's how you see me, then fine, that's what I am to you people.

Pffew... okay, that's off my chest.

This picture started out originally going to be completely digital, but seeing as how the arms kept shrinking on me, I resported to the good-old fashioned traditional I so love. Obviously, I didn't put too much effort into this, even though this is a vent piece... I'll tell you now, I don't put out a lot when it comes to vent, I just go wild.

And... yes I know the mask has more vivid shades, but keep in mind that's not bleeding out of it's orfices. *nodnod*

Songs that I heard doing this stuff-
"Everybody's Fool" ~ Evanescence
"Faceless" ~ Godsmack

Now I have a reason for using Irken Iraa rather than Varigan Iraa or Tuyuki. Varigan Iraa is more a cheerful character, and I found I am not able to draw her in vent art without converting her to wolf Tuyuki. Human Tuyuki I could've easily used for this piece, but I didn't because she's more depicted for sorrow and other such sufferings. Irken Iraa on the other hand is my anger and bitterness. I guess you could call Iraa my "darkside" but I don't see her as that. She's just where all my aggression goes to. Yes, I do feel sad and maybe even depressed over this, but those aren't my dominant emotions in here. Hurt, anger, bitterness, those won out, hence Iraa being the subject.

Now, how the fuck did you people manage to read this entire thing without just scrolling off to another page? You people are dedicated. If you read all the way through this, good job. You either wanted to waste your time or you read everyone's descriptions all the way through. I'm impressed if you did though.

Iraa >>>
Irkens >>> JCV

Oh yeah, and if I see anyone taking this picture (which I doubt, a lot of you people prefer my RAPR pics for taking and sticking places) without asking me, I'll do a lot more than hunt you down and gut you like a fish.