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Published: 2006-01-05 23:43:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 160; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 6
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----Full Lenght Originals----The Duel
Two fighters have gathered in an arena. They have no other option but to fight, they take their stance, and the crowd roars. After what seemed like hours, but have only been a few moments, of a series of kicks and punches, they both stood there. They were evenly matched, and exhausted; suddenly they both sprinted at one another and gave each other the final blow. They both fell, then a loud ominous voice from no origin echoed as it spoke, “Double KO. Game Over.”
The Girl
Every night I’ve been having the same dream, I’m in a room full of silhouetted dancers, and I am alone. Suddenly, a woman comes up to me wearing a white dress. We spoke, but without words, we came to each other and began to dance. All the other dancers began to fade out leaving only me and her, I looked deep into her eyes, and I had to know. I then asked “What’s your name?” but just before she could speak, I wake up shaking. I really wish it were real.
Vengeance
It had been a long and arduous battle for Klyve. He had slain all of Argos’ warriors, and now he stands before him, the one that murdered his father. The once peaceful valley was now decayed and covered with the bodies of the slain. Klyve looks at Argos, “You’re time has come, I will avenge the death of my father!” They both ready their swords and charge at one another, in blink of an eye the battle was over, Klyve’s sword was faster than that of Argos, and split him in two; Argos’ body fell over. He was finally defeated and Klyve avenged his father’s death.
Vengeance: Version 2
Blood now soaked the battlefield which used to be a peaceful valley. Blood also stained Dart’s sword from all the soldiers he brought down to get to this point. He was finally face to face with the man that had slaughtered his village, Regal, he would finally have vengeance. He readied his sword, and without a moments notice, rushed at Regal. Before Regal could react, it was too late, the sword had already penetrated his dark armor, he fell to his knees and collapsed. Dart finally avenged the lives of those he lost, for him, it was over.
The House
It was raining, heavily. Kristen was lost in the middle of nowhere and had to find cover. She then saw a house, she swore it wasn’t there before, but she took a chance and went in. Luckily the door was unlocked, but as soon as she went in it slammed shut, she couldn’t open it. The air around her suddenly got colder; she could feel something crawling on her back, as if needles were walking on her spine. She suddenly stopped breathing, something was choking her, she could see a figure in the shadows, then everything grew darker.
Waiting
Timmy was waiting for his dad to pick him up after soccer practice, it had been 20 minutes, he was late. A car came by that looked like his dad’s, but when the driver came out, it was someone else, so he continued to wait. After two hours of waiting Timmy got scared that he wouldn’t come, how was he to know that his dad died.
----Edited for 55 word limit----
The Duel
Two fighters have gathered in an arena, they have no option but to fight, they take their stance. After what seemed like hours of kicks and punches, they both stood there, exhausted. Suddenly, they both sprinted and gave each other the final blow; they both fell. A loud ominous voice spoke, “Double KO. Game Over.”
Dream Girl
I’m standing alone in a room full of silhouetted dancers; The numbers increase continuously. Suddenly, a woman in white walks up to me, we danced endlessly. The other dancers started fading out, leaving only me and her. I looked deep into her eyes, and asked “What’s your name?” before she could answer, I wake up.
Vengeance
Blood soaked the battlefield, it also stained Dart’s sword from all the soldiers he brought down. He finally faced the man that slaughtered his village, Regal. He rushed at Regal, before Regal could react, it was too late, he fell to his knees and collapsed. Dart avenged the lives of those lost, it was over.
The House
It was raining. Kristen was lost. She then saw a house, it wasn’t there before, but she went in. As soon as she went in the door slammed shut. The air around her got colder; she felt something on her neck. She stopped breathing; she could see a figure in the shadows; everything went dark.
Waiting
Timmy was waiting for his dad to pick him up from school, it’s been twenty minutes, he was late. A car came by that looked like his dad’s, but it was someone else, so he waited. After two hours of waiting Timmy got scared that he wouldn’t come, he didn’t know that his dad died.
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Comments: 1
Dudebroguymanpal [2006-01-09 07:10:49 +0000 UTC]
YES! FIRST COMMENT! Lets seeeeee...
On the 55 word ones:
The Duel: It says "They" or "They Both" too many times. Redundant.
Dream Girl: Hmmm interesting. I like...
Vengeance: Eh... i dunno about this one. I like how you used the name Dart though. haha... That one Dragon thingy game from PS1. Nice.
The House: No ending. I dont like it. And you need a comma between "in" and "the"
...As soon as she went in[,] the door slammed shut.
Waiting: Nah... dont like this one either. Too random. Its like a Dues Ex Machina... except no weird monster lol. I hate those things. Anyways... eh. Also, instead of "it's", you should say "It'd"
Okay, so i like Dream Girl a lot. Very cool. U asked to critique, so i critiqued. Rock on man, take it easy,
Joseph
👍: 0 ⏩: 0