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matrix7 β Slipstream
Published: 2001-09-19 21:03:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 259; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 48
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Description
Walking, stumbling, crawling, falling...Demons diving at my ears
I hear tormented screams of pain...
(from them or me?)
Searching for that fabled place of peace...
Where all of life's troubles
warp and stretch and fade around me
until I stand alone in my world of shadows...
(or are they demons?)
Arms held high, eyes shut tight, tremble...
Fists clenched so tight scarlet rivlets
carve small canyons in the dust that is my flesh
as each drop falls screaming to the ground
(or is it the sky?)
Searching left/right/up/down...
Constantly dodging demon's fiery breath
the smell of ozone and searing flesh
mercilessly batters my senses
and I feel myself fallllllllllllllllllllllllll.....
(or am I flying?)
Silence.....
Silence.....
Silence.....
Silence.....
Silence.....
The screams stop
the blood dries
the pain relinquishes its iron grip on my soul.
I open my eyes and look at myself
No longer burnt
No longer tormented
No longer myself.....but more.
Close my eyes, stand on my feet
Arms held high, eyes shut tight, tremble...
and feel the tears sooth the still stinging flesh
as I rest in the Slipstream......
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Comments: 13
Come on Wes get outta that mood, let me give you my hand, as I pull myself out of it too!
just go look at your wife again.... hehe
(this is a scarey poem, makes me wanna go turn the light on)
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love this - i love the use of the phrases in () at the end of the stanzas...
"I feel myself fallllllllllllllllllllllllll....." i can see it...
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I felt this, was in the words all the way through it. I can relate. Lovely piece.
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Nice peom... very cool.
Kind of lost me though toward the end... not sure what the slipstream is or what kind of roll it plays in the story. Good idea there, just think you should try and develope it more.
Dark poem
https://sixwings.deviantart.com/gallery
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lol, what zep said sounds about right....cant really describe it. Sounds painful though, not unlike a pineapple in your ass.
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About the Silence..... thing. Um..yeah I did that on purpose, yeah sure I did.....uh huh *looks areound to see who is buying it). Actually it was accidental, but the stanzas were meant to progress from 3 lines and parenthesis to 4 lines and parenthesis to 5 lines and parenthesis 6 lines and parenthesis, 5 Slience..... , 4, 3, 2, 1 but it didnt work out that way. It would fit but I didnt want to splice up the poem like that so i left it in the raw unworked form. Glad you guys like it (especially you ----josh----, your favorite eh? More darker stuff to come in the next few days).
I have been told I use mirrors, shadows and demons too much in my poems but they can kiss my little butt cause I like em. heh Thanks peeps!
::Matrix7:: https://matrix7.deviantart.com
Ya dang skippy I wear a trenchcoat!!
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It seems to be a journey from the grasp of death unto the gates of glory. Excellent words...
Stay Deviant !!!
Jokerman
I AM SOFA KING WE TALL DID !!!
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hehe, what joy said. This is an incredible poem matrix, I would have to say my favourite of yours to date...
Psalm 139:13
For you created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mothers womb.
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And the flow is appropos for this kind of skitzo depressed state, where one minute it is demons and the next they are shadows. I actually like that pull back and forth, the five line stanza of Silence..... with 5 elipses after each word. There does seem to be a "method in the madness" doesn't there? There is no pattern but perhaps there is a sequence? Ground or sky, demon or shadows, who is screaming, them or me, resting in the chaotic flow, yeah, I think there is a sort of method in this madness. Very cool poem.
chaotic flow.....
(Β―`Β·.,ΒΈΒΈ,.Β·Β΄
j♥y
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I know the flow is goofed up, I wanted to give it an almost harsh, grating feel because that is what i feel right now. Frustrated at life in general, mad at myself for not being able to change it, looking for aplace of peace. So close yet so far.......
Wanting more, but not knowing how to get there. Feeling bombarded by all this crap and not knowing how to get rid of it.
*shrug*
::Matrix7:: https://matrix7.deviantart.com
Ya dang skippy I wear a trenchcoat!!
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Nice poem, well written and good word usage.
Flow bothers me alittle, though I love the first 4 verses.
Anyway very nice
Γ2mo
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deep and brooding, lovely wes. great poem.
---------
:step-by-step: the dance of life is learned
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