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The Call
Published: 2001-08-18 08:22:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 1195; Favourites: 11; Downloads: 127
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Description
Walls that people build insidewalls that's made of foolish pride.
Bricks of envy, stones of hate
that wouldn't happen if we'd wait
on what our Father has to say
before we start to choose our way.
But inthis life of goals and dreams
patience is in lack it seems.
Never taking time to pray
before we rush to start our day.
Never talking to The One
who loves us so He sent His Son
to come and die for all our sins
and make in us His home within.
To cleanse us of the scarlet stains
upon our soul and make us clean.
Who loves us more than His own life
and so he died to calm our strife
and rose again up to the sky
so we'll live with Him, and I
can't wait until the day I fly
to that land and never die.
I'll see my grandpa once again
and talk with him for hours on ened.
And take a stroll with him to see
the only one that's died for me.
And finally meet those I can't see
who've come to mean so much to me
who laugh and talk, and then I find
that they have problems just like mine.
Helping more than I could say
and I know I'll see them there some day.
As we walk on golden streets
and crystal shores on brand new feet.
So I watch, and wait and pray
and keep my brother as I stay
on fire for God and hope to help
those who cannot help themselves.
Getting back up when I fall
I watch and listen for The Call...
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Comments: 28
Very cool
I would have to agree with ascensionline about the rhyming and such.
I believe that was some good critique.
Awesome message you have in there though.With some more tweaking I could see this on one of those scenic plaques at Praises book store
"never taking time to pray
before we rush to start our day" (this one hit me like a ton of bricks)
"As we walk on golden streets
and crystal shores on brand new feet." (this one is inspiring)
I Jesus -
~
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sixwings
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i'm with ascension on this one. good poem, but needs a tweak or two. the only thoughts i have to offer on religion (being that almost everyone offered one) is this:
regardless of what entity/god you believe in....FAITH in SOMETHING is what matters. its that simple element that either makes religion a chore....or something meaningful.
aside from the yappin...nice job on the DD
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here's my deviation as the black sheep of this group so far. although i really liked the content you've tackled and message you've used to target your daily struggles, i thought parts of this read awkwardly. might want to fine tune it a bit to smooth it out more, like some of your successful rhymes.
i wouldn't say it's cheesy like creed lyrics - nor do i think of creed lyrics as being cheesy...just think it could be cleaned and polished more to bring home your point or the message. i really like the line, "bricks of envy, stones of hate," whereas others seemed awkwardly worded at the expense of having to make each line rhyme.
the overall essence of this gift to the community was appreciated. i can tell by this poem that you are probably someone i would enjoy talking to about the subject matter. congrats on the nomination.
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Allright! another Christian here at devart. Nice stuff man, I love it. I can definitly relate. keep in touch brother.
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...when realities collide
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It's amazing how God will throw something like this in our faces when we need it, I am so thankful you wrote this, I've been debating if life is worth it today, thank you.
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thanks to jsenn for her keen insight and for shedding the "pc" mantle and congrats to matrix for an excellent piece and well-earned "dd"
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Great poem done very well. i'm not gonan state my religous belifies though.
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Vote: LOVE Deviation
I hope that the meaning of the poem is not lost on those that don't believe in Christ. While I am a christen, I stongly respect others belief (or lack thereof) Your poem was written exceedly well, and I am glad to be able to add it to my favorites. I also ask permission to add it to my 'Favorite Stories & Poems" devpack.
on the flip site:
"and talk with him for hours on -->ened
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congrats on the dd buddy... well deserved. i didn't know past deviations could win dd.... that awesome, im glad cause then some of the more deserving poems in my mind that get looked over, might still have a chance.... neat.
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*Contemplicity Begins*[link]
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Wow. It takes courage to tell the world about your beliefs in this secular age. I'm Christian too and I understand that.
Very simple, conversational language, gives a feeling of true sincerity and hope.
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Yes, I am weird.
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good stuff man, way to keep the faith... the only rhyme that threw me was "stains/clean" but it's only minor stuff, the message is still there... btw, is it just me or is something wrong with the date? it's submitted 8/18? just curious, or that doesn't matter as long as it's picked for today? anyways, good job
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While I'm not a Christian, your work is masterfully written. Pretty much deep stuff dude. Congratz on the DD
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This is a little weird, reading this. I believe in a god, some sort.. but can't seem to find a religion that fits it. Nice work.
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_. [link] ._
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There are a few things here that could be fixed, mostly just typos, but also a little grammar and form. The message here is rather impressive. I commend you for being strong enough to post about your faith. So many Christians are more willing to hide their faith. I struggle with it every day as well. This poem has made me reflect on my own faith and whether or not I truly live what I believe. Thank you for the reminder of what it's all about.
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elle
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Remember, attitude is everything.
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Excellent poem, man. I'm not religious myself, but I understand the hardship of being Christian. My family is, as are most of my friends, and I attended a Catholic high school. I love teh way you rhymed everything and I hope this poem gets more attention then it's already gotten. Much praise from me!
BTW, anyone that judges people based on their religion is just ignorant to the fact that people have a mind of their own and can use it to think and act how they want. I'm not religious, but I definatley do not judge others based on what they believe. Take a stand for what you believe in, and don't let ANYONE stop you. G'day!
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i guess i cant really comment on the meaning of this, because the meaning is religion and i have to respect other peoples beliefs.
i see alot of emotion there, but it was almost to the point where it was cheesy. i guess i can compare it to creed songish cheesy.
dont take that the wrong way
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It's such a shame that this made daily deviation and didn't get hundreds of comments in 5 minutes like all the rest seem to.
I have nothing against the people here in this community, or condone anyones beliefs, but I find it quite depressing that it seems as though less than half of this community even believe in christ, let alone praise him.
It's seems that it's become trendy to be an athiest.
Great poem.
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Good job. I love the rhyme and the meaning. I don't always agree with religions but the basis of it is what counts. You might want to read my poem To Only Understand. From the sound of this poem, you would probably like it.
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i've read that humility is the keener keen -- i myself am probably not humble, however.
to say something on your behalf, something that i am sure will cross a few minds: to be submissive (in this respect) -- humble, too, could be used as a synonym --, to be submissive, not defeated and lowly, but meekly submitted for a greater good (or so i assume), that is indeed a very good persona to fill. cast your regard for human intuition, gratification, and ramifications, you won't find them often. what you will find, however, is something seen from a view that is only reached at the window of one's selflessness, one's wisdom, and one's own inhibitions.
i can't comment on the content of this poem, because i am not here to comment on it as a work, but, aye, after reading it, i was driven to comment on your angle. were we in the same boat, i would agree and understand this, and i would definately commend you. since we are not, i can offer gracious condolences from the view where i stand -- kudos! because you challenged the x.
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lustrum zarΓ zskur
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A labyrinthine tale of God.
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Thank you for sharing this, im a Christian myself and really see what you are getting at. Describes a lot of my feelings too. Keep your chin up.
from norway.
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I'm surprised there are a million more positive comments on this. This is excellent because it broaches division and relationships. I love the first stanza, it says so much in so few lines. I know I'm having to deal with walls of my own. You certainly deserve the DD! Great work!
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Bro this is truly an excellent piece! Those who have struggled before repenting can really relate to this. This is truly a blessed piece! Many religious based deviations or comments in this community get shunned away, I am glad this was able to make DD and open people's eyes a little more about Him.
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Another nice one I must say, you haven't been here long but you have impressed me with your poetry and even more with your faith in the one true God. Keep em comin, you have a gift.
Please visit my gallery and comment on my work. thx.
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I love the way you stand, Sir, upon the truth in the living Savior, Jesus Christ. This poem is wonderfully written but it's magnificence is found in the center of the subject. These are not always easy poems to post, but you will find many Christians here. I truly welcome you.
(Β―`Β·.,ΒΈΒΈ,.Β·Β΄
j♥y
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So much emotion around one word. Very nice.
vbdude
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