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Published: 2010-09-14 05:28:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 2260; Favourites: 32; Downloads: 13
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Description
How to Troll: A Pocket Guide to Ruling the InternetTrolling the internet can be a demanding task. It takes skill and a lot of hard work to bully people from the safety of your computer, and this guide was designed to make your life easier.
The golden rule of trolling is to remember that you are awesome; you are always right, and everyone else is always inferior. That is precisely why you should be the one to dominate the internet, instead of those pesky moderators.
The first step of asserting this dominance is to pick a victim. This is perhaps the easiest part of the process; if you modify your technique accordingly, nearly anyone can be trolled. However, the easiest way is to troll those who are polite, kind to others and who take criticism well.
Once you have selected your victim(s), there are a few basic techniques that you should remember:
· Even if you are wrong to begin an argument, as soon as the other person responds to you, they are in the wrong. So remember to be persistent and try different techniques in getting a rise out of them. As soon as they are in the wrong, your initial wrongdoing will be cancelled out and you will have even more justification in your bullying of them.
· However, don't waste time on people not responding to your trolling. The more time you waste on a mature deviant who is ignoring you, the less time you have to spend trolling someone who will respond appropriately.
· neva use corect gramma or punctuashun. teh person wil fear u even mor if u dnt no how 2 spel
· If you do use correct grammar, be sure to misuse any really big words that you know. The person will fear and respect you even if you know the word "vindictive", regardless of whether you know it means "vengeful" or not.
Now that you know the basic techniques, you need to know the methods of delivering them. You should choose from these delivery methods carefully, depending on what the deviant's status is. The methods are as follows:
· Notes: Every deviant feels special when they see that little note icon. This method is especially effective purely because of the fact that it's a double-whammy. Not only are you crushing them with your amazing verbal skills and irrefutable evidence, but also you are crushing that happiness and excitement of receiving a note! Notes are also a safe and subtle method; most deviants will be so awed by your awesomeness that they will be too fearful to get help from their friends or watchers.
· Page comments: Most deviants only visit people's pages to thank them for the fave. They do not bother to look at the artist's own comment saying in bold "YOU'RE WELCOME". Leaving your awesomeness here will not only insult them, but you may possibly gain support from fellow trolls visiting that page for the same reason.
· Artwork comments: This is another double-whammy method; you can not only insult them, but you can insult something specific that they have done. This method is also good because your comments will gain more exposure and thus more people will be able to see how cool, witty and intelligent you are. On top of this, if you leave a comment that looks like a critique, no one can deny that you are cool, witty and intelligent, because you are offering constructive criticism to help the deviant improve everything about themselves.
· Plagiarising: This is a highly effective method that can be used in conjunction with any of the other methods for an extra boost. It is quite simple to execute; you simply steal their work and pass it off as your own. You can not only take credit, but many artists insult their work in the artist's comments box; why should you be any different? This is a sure way to make them feel inferior like they deserve.
The final part of trolling is the getaway plan. Not all people on deviantART will realise how awesome you are, and some may try to stop you reaching your goal of internet domination. These deviants may politely enquire of your motives and ask for a resolution, or report you to a moderator. If the deviants are polite, remember: MANNERS ARE FOR WIMPS. You should immediately cut these deviants down with your prowess of the basic techniques, either employed directly at them or fired at the loved deviant whom they are defending. You are justified in every way in this cyber bullying, so you should not have to explain your motives. However, if a moderator gets involved, the best method is to abandon your account and create a new one doing the same things. If you delete your account, they can never prove anything and you can continue your trolling habits unhindered.
Now, get out there and troll!! Always remember: U R ALWAIS RITE!!!!!11111!!!
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Comments: 63
Randomstuff-Stuff [2016-09-04 16:53:35 +0000 UTC]
*never use correct grammar or punctuation, the person will fear you even more if u don't know how to spell
FTFY
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Doneydew [2015-11-25 21:36:10 +0000 UTC]
There are different variants of trolling, and this guide suits the usual "for-a-living trolling" variant.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
mouseluva In reply to CrazyByronFan [2013-01-01 03:55:42 +0000 UTC]
I UM SO SoRI PLS 4GIV ME
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
CrazyByronFan In reply to mouseluva [2013-01-01 04:21:39 +0000 UTC]
mY! Shall u StaWP fartING?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
CrazyByronFan In reply to mouseluva [2013-01-01 04:29:53 +0000 UTC]
Would I make a good troll? What kind?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mouseluva In reply to CrazyByronFan [2013-01-01 04:30:37 +0000 UTC]
I really don't know. I frequent troll-free places now and wrote that years ago.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
CrazyByronFan In reply to mouseluva [2013-01-01 04:31:45 +0000 UTC]
I just do silly things like saying "You misspelled cheese".
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
CrazyByronFan In reply to mouseluva [2013-01-01 04:35:31 +0000 UTC]
I sometimes troll Ghetsis with You Misspelled Cheeses, Stop Fartings, Why Are You Crapping, and JAJAJAJAJAJA.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
CrazyByronFan In reply to mouseluva [2013-01-01 05:37:30 +0000 UTC]
Oh my! I just got trolled!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
chocomei [2011-11-30 03:52:52 +0000 UTC]
LOL!!!
Love this one! Going to add this to my group~.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
purpletrollz In reply to mouseluva [2011-11-28 19:34:44 +0000 UTC]
ehhhhhh nooo not how i trolololololololololol
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oddrituals [2011-07-24 00:36:28 +0000 UTC]
you forgot to tell people to wright LOL alot to... if you cant think of somthing good to wright back the sec you get an ansver, you just wright "LOL" or the famus "lolololololololol" and send. then you will have some extra time to wright somthing, and the good thing whit this, is that you give em alot of idiotic mess to open <3 [link]
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
zappo210 [2011-05-22 23:06:04 +0000 UTC]
kidding me, rite? here's a REALLY pocket-sized guide on how to troll.
1. swear.
2. insult.
3. insult with swears.
4. repeat.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mouseluva In reply to zappo210 [2011-05-23 03:57:35 +0000 UTC]
Cannot tell if trolling or in spirit of deviation... e.o... Hrngk.
But yeah, pretty much. It's hard to get the intended humour in a piece as short as yours :b
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Daking9 [2011-02-09 20:00:07 +0000 UTC]
so stupid. This guide isnt even funny and you wrote in M$World ha you probably have herpies or clamidia or vindictive disease i feel sorry for you. and what is a note like you can only deviantart with trolls i troll on onther places all the time and deviantart sucks and your a bad troll who uses comments anyway.?????
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
mouseluva In reply to Daking9 [2011-02-10 03:41:28 +0000 UTC]
That does not even make sense. Lrn2Grammar and Brain, noob. (:
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mouseluva In reply to Daking9 [2011-02-10 17:26:50 +0000 UTC]
I am trying to decide whether your trolling of this piece is joking or not.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Daking9 In reply to mouseluva [2011-02-10 21:29:27 +0000 UTC]
I'm pretty sure it's all in good fun either way, but if you must know, I am joking. You write a funny article, and I appreciate it.
I feel like, if I hadn't favourited it, you'd lean closer to the "lolbadtroll is bad" side. But never fear! I am a respectable citizen just like you or Kevin Federline!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mouseluva In reply to Daking9 [2011-02-11 04:55:39 +0000 UTC]
Haha, good >.ob
I don't usually thank for faves (Because I hate my page clogged so I don't clog others'), so I didn't notice your username on the fave :b
Thank you
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Daking9 In reply to mouseluva [2011-02-11 19:29:32 +0000 UTC]
^U^
That's actually a good reason not to thank for favourites, so you're all good. I tend to clog people's pages with thank you's because I'm fond of the recognition and letting people know I care.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mouseluva In reply to Daking9 [2011-02-11 19:46:04 +0000 UTC]
Also, I fave stuff that I like and think is good, so they don't need to thank me for having an opinion xD I assume others do the same.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Daking9 In reply to Daking9 [2011-02-09 20:23:01 +0000 UTC]
I've read enough trolling and internet cancer that I'm able to almost easily reproduce some key elements of it. This was a really fun article to read, and I enjoy its tips.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
PBCrackers [2010-11-04 20:23:50 +0000 UTC]
Brilliant.
Oh, hey, would you mind if I added this to my 'story' on fictionpress? (I'd credit you and everything.) Here's a link: [link]
So. Yeah. I'd like to make it the second 'chapter'. x3
(So please give me permission! <--See. That emotiocon was put there to make you feel obliged. )
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mouseluva In reply to Darkblackvoid [2010-10-27 04:11:34 +0000 UTC]
Haha, thanks.
Satire though; don't use it :b
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ZukoFireBook [2010-10-08 07:28:54 +0000 UTC]
Well you can get sued for plagiarism. So that's really a dumb thing to do even for a troll. I personally don't like trolls but I always manage to counter-troll them because it is very easy to beat them. Saying nananana and repeating what they say in a mocking everytime they say something is a surefire way to stop them
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
XaviaPhoenix [2010-09-23 03:04:00 +0000 UTC]
D00D UR LEIK INZUTIN TEH TROLLZORZ AWRENISH WEAK! GTFO FGGT.
(but seriously, happy troll awareness week. I like your little guide here. XD)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mouseluva In reply to XaviaPhoenix [2010-09-23 04:02:41 +0000 UTC]
I can't even read what the first part says, but thanks for the happiness It was a fun guide to write.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
TrollingtheGuild [2010-09-21 03:53:05 +0000 UTC]
i th1nk u r 4 tr011; wh4t w0uld ur pr3ci0u5 gu1ld s4y 2 th4t?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
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