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Description
Can I get an amen!?
--
Often, fundamentalist thinking parents with an intention to better the life of their child end up setting in motion a causative chain of negative thoughts, emotions, and life choices that do MUCH MORE harm than the the good that was intended. Telling your kid that you find unacceptable the way they dress, the music they listen to, the people they hang out with, the way they style their hair... anything they consider part of their identity, even if only momentary, ... is deplorable, and detrimental to the mental health of this child you love. The harsh but very simple lesson received is that WHO THEY ARE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.

This is a difficult fact for many parents to deal with. However, the fact remains, a key underlying message you have effectively communicated to your loved one is that they must change the outside superficial appearance in order to change the inside you [apparently] find appalling and/or unsatisfactory. Rest assured, this creates a way of thinking that is performance based and people pleasing. From that point forward, it is likely they now measure their value and worth by how OTHERS perceive them. Any person who has struggled with homosexuality in a fundamentalist home can certainly empathize with this scenario. It is not just limited to sexual orientation, however.

We are reminded of the scene in the 2003 film, X2, where Bobby Drake (Iceman) confronts his parents about who he really is. His mother's response, "Have you tried...not being a mutant?"

The part of the statement, "not being a mutant?" can be changed a number of ways.

Have you tried...
• wearing 'nice' clothes?
• taking out your body piercings?
• being normal?
etc.

Unfortunately, the answer for Us is 'yes we have tried' and it has failed miserably.

Always KNOW, no matter what you are told, no matter who says it to you, you ARE good just the way you are. I now know -[I AM].

Description
Can I get an amen!?
--
Often, fundamentalist thinking parents with an intention to better the life of their child end up setting in motion a causative chain of negative thoughts, emotions, and life choices that do MUCH MORE harm than the the good that was intended. Telling your kid that you find unacceptable the way they dress, the music they listen to, the people they hang out with, the way they style their hair... anything they consider part of their identity, even if only momentary, ... is deplorable, and detrimental to the mental health of this child you love. The harsh but very simple lesson received is that WHO THEY ARE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.

This is a difficult fact for many parents to deal with. However, the fact remains, a key underlying message you have effectively communicated to your loved one is that they must change the outside superficial appearance in order to change the inside you [apparently] find appalling and/or unsatisfactory. Rest assured, this creates a way of thinking that is performance based and people pleasing. From that point forward, it is likely they now measure their value and worth by how OTHERS perceive them. Any person who has struggled with homosexuality in a fundamentalist home can certainly empathize with this scenario. It is not just limited to sexual orientation, however.

We are reminded of the scene in the 2003 film, X2, where Bobby Drake (Iceman) confronts his parents about who he really is. His mother's response, "Have you tried...not being a mutant?"

The part of the statement, "not being a mutant?" can be changed a number of ways.

Have you tried...
• wearing 'nice' clothes?
• taking out your body piercings?
• being normal?
etc.

Unfortunately, the answer for Us is 'yes we have tried' and it has failed miserably.

Always KNOW, no matter what you are told, no matter who says it to you, you ARE good just the way you are. I now know -[I AM].