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salshep — Cthulhu Cthucks

Published: 2007-03-26 17:16:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 20452; Favourites: 531; Downloads: 3
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Description Gunshymartyr: Why do they speak Welsh now?

Me: Well, it all started with that drunken birthday bash for Yog-Sothoth that Vertigo88 was talking about.

Anyways, it was a crazy party, and when they got tired of Shub Niggurath's gin-induced poledancing and Bugg-shash's eye-roll-inducing baby jokes ("Hey, how many human babies does it take to make an Old One explode?" " Are you STILL telling these things, Bugg-shash? *sigh* Alright, how many then..?" "NOMNOMNOM *burp* BANG!" ) they all shambled out of their various voids and palaces and dimensions and off they went to Las Vegas, where Tom Jones was playing that casino that looks like the Sphinx.

There they all were, soused as a pickled shoggoth and having a Great Old time, and Hastur starts throwing underpants at the stage. Now, the underpants of an Old One (even Hastur's cthexy cthong) aren't small, so Tom Jones disappears in this welter of ominous darkness and black lace. What they DIDN'T know was that Jones himself was an Old One, expunged from the Necronomicon by the Welsh government in an attempt to fool the world into believing Wales is full of normal, attractive people, before adopting him as a national icon (in place of wee fat ponies and beef-thieves named Taffy).

So, you can imagine their shock when, to the fading lyrics of "It's Not Unusual" they were abruptly sucked into a dimensional rift and wound up in Ystradgynlais. What transpired there, what horrors, we may never know.

But the upshot is, they all speak Welsh now.

Hastur has taken to wearing thick, elasticated girdle-waisted panties. In beige.

Bugg-shash was stitched back together and forced to wear The Great Seal of K'dath, which prevented him from going within 100 metres of maternity hospitals and telling appalling jokes at parties.

Tom Jones went on to revive his career by becoming a "retro" sensation. Shub-Niggurath slapped him with A Thousand Paternity Suits, and we're just waiting on the blood tests.


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Comments: 287

salshep In reply to ??? [2007-03-27 18:35:00 +0000 UTC]

The creators of D&D pretty much "borrowed" that stuff from Lovecraft's works and adapted it to thier own needs. Thanks for the link, and glad you liked the pic!

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Anathema6205 [2007-03-27 16:38:19 +0000 UTC]

lmao-oh, fantastic!!
*giggles and dances in circles*
my friends, you dont want to know what all of that means!!
love the rendition of a fav beastie though.
not too many people ever do fanart for him.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

salshep In reply to Anathema6205 [2007-03-28 22:57:03 +0000 UTC]

There's heaps of fan art for the guy on dA. Do a search on Cthulhu or Lovecraft, and see what comes up! So many great pics, and artists.

I'm very glad you liked it, thankyou!

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somnomollior In reply to ??? [2007-03-27 15:29:33 +0000 UTC]


I would love to make up a translation but I think it would be unrepeatable.

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salshep In reply to somnomollior [2007-03-28 22:55:42 +0000 UTC]

It has that sound to it, doesn't it? lol

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EpicStanza In reply to ??? [2007-03-27 04:40:24 +0000 UTC]

<3

Awesome.

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salshep In reply to EpicStanza [2007-03-28 22:55:15 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

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A-ClockworkButterfly [2007-03-27 01:24:45 +0000 UTC]

...All of it.
I doubt even know the reference, but it makes me giggle.
<.<
>.>
Who wants to tell me what that is and what that means?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

salshep In reply to A-ClockworkButterfly [2007-03-28 22:55:01 +0000 UTC]

It's a quote from an H.P. Lovecraft story, in the language of "The Great Old Ones" [link] , or at least the closest human translation.

And thankyou! I'm glad you liked it.

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Roulle In reply to ??? [2007-03-27 00:51:18 +0000 UTC]

even better than the first time

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salshep In reply to Roulle [2007-03-28 22:48:09 +0000 UTC]

Thanks hun.

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Pink12 In reply to ??? [2007-03-26 23:32:46 +0000 UTC]

lol FN funny man i love the pic too

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salshep In reply to Pink12 [2007-03-28 22:47:53 +0000 UTC]

Thankyou! Glad you liked it.

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Pink12 In reply to salshep [2007-03-29 00:42:57 +0000 UTC]

no prob man. glad you did it

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fluer-x In reply to ??? [2007-03-26 23:17:27 +0000 UTC]

Haha, original and possibly disturbing, nice!

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salshep In reply to fluer-x [2007-03-28 22:47:37 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much.

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smoking-mirrors In reply to ??? [2007-03-26 23:14:37 +0000 UTC]

I love you

take me now

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

salshep In reply to smoking-mirrors [2007-03-28 22:47:16 +0000 UTC]

What are you suggesting, young lady?

*steals you*

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smoking-mirrors In reply to salshep [2007-03-28 23:39:39 +0000 UTC]

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FoundTheFloor In reply to ??? [2007-03-26 22:23:25 +0000 UTC]

lol

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Jon-Law In reply to ??? [2007-03-26 21:38:06 +0000 UTC]

haha, adorable : )

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salshep In reply to Jon-Law [2007-03-28 22:46:30 +0000 UTC]

Hee, thanks Jon.

I miss you. :sadface:

:hugs:

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Jon-Law In reply to salshep [2007-03-28 23:44:53 +0000 UTC]

: *

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nostalgic-with-love In reply to ??? [2007-03-26 20:52:13 +0000 UTC]

hahaha...
clever.
XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

salshep In reply to nostalgic-with-love [2007-03-28 22:45:45 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

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nostalgic-with-love In reply to salshep [2007-03-29 01:58:59 +0000 UTC]

yerr very Velcome!

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Vertigo88 In reply to ??? [2007-03-26 19:29:35 +0000 UTC]

Little known fact: Cthulhu is asleep from a huuuuuuge hang-over he incurred at Yog-Sothoth's birthday party.

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salshep In reply to Vertigo88 [2007-03-28 22:42:46 +0000 UTC]

Oh yeah, that was a wild night.

How do you think the Black Goat ended up with a Thousand Young?

That'll teach 'em to practise cthafe cthex.


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Azph In reply to ??? [2007-03-26 19:13:37 +0000 UTC]

awesome!!!

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salshep In reply to Azph [2007-03-28 22:36:21 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

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bewareofthesnowman In reply to ??? [2007-03-26 18:20:37 +0000 UTC]

and in a print too.... curse you, poverty!!

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salshep In reply to bewareofthesnowman [2007-03-28 22:45:29 +0000 UTC]

*cough*wishlist*cough*

Glad you liked it, Dan.

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bewareofthesnowman In reply to salshep [2007-03-29 17:02:24 +0000 UTC]

is it available in mug form?

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salshep In reply to bewareofthesnowman [2007-03-31 01:24:45 +0000 UTC]

It is now!

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bewareofthesnowman In reply to salshep [2007-03-31 15:46:58 +0000 UTC]

you think of everything

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MSJames In reply to ??? [2007-03-26 18:09:17 +0000 UTC]

lol - perfect, I love it!

phlegeth

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BringMeThunder [2007-03-26 17:18:29 +0000 UTC]

I'd say you're having far too much fun with this...

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salshep In reply to BringMeThunder [2007-03-28 22:35:55 +0000 UTC]

I'd say you'd might be right.

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