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spacesuitcatalyst — running
Published: 2008-10-07 00:06:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 373; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 20
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Description
partial confession.blotted out the private parts. fill it in with whatever you want i'm sure it makes for an amusing game of madlibs.
don't ask me what those parts say though cause i aint tellin'.
swear to god i'm not emo i'm not.
just in a constant state of flux.
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Comments: 5
Running toward entropy?
A gift you have given to me, so, here is a gift from me to you, but, is it something that you "kin" understand, this gift from you and me?
We tend to run from what we have and what we are. As I child, I lived in a hell, with no control, so I fought and fought, desperate to control, absolutely that which I could. Sanctuary I sought inside of me. I tried and tried to control, every minute that I could, a prisoner I became, a prison I built.
A child of emotion, emotive I was, an emotional train wreck I became. So it is that I ran so hard, toward logic I fled, Star Trek's SPOCK I became, with no emotion left for me, logic rules my day.
But then again, the pendulum swings again, and I run and run for a freedom I glimpse, reaching, reaching, it is chaos I clutch. Whipped and churned, entropy rules, love found and betrayed, love found and betrayed again, so lost am I.
In exhaustion, I slow, slow to a stop, nowhere to go, a vast desert it is, nowhere to go, nowhere to go but out--the end.
Eyes open, where am I, not the end? I run and run again, run for hope, desperately run for hope, a hope I see so far away. Hope runs faster, but so do I, I think I can, almost there, almost there...HIT BY A TRUCK...all hope is gone, despair I feel.
I look around, and around, where am I, what should I do, what should I do, tied to a stake, all alone, always alone.
Someone is there, who is he to me? He leaves, he stays, he leaves, he stays, and takes ahold of me. There we sit, alone no more, no need to run, nowhere I need to go.
The end comes soon, but I will not run. For now, this day, I am free to be, no need to run, no need to stay, balance I have found.
Sadness I feel, if I look behind, and see that which could have been. Sadness I feel, if I look ahead, and see my end so close. So why look there and yonder, if I can but see that which is here, here with me now.
This is me now.
With Love,
Matthew
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You're your own personal CIA, redaction and everything.
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There's something hauntingly beautiful about this. (and most of your recent submissions as well)
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