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Description
if yall are curious how i feel... here...

So... things have taken the turn for the worst... Despite efforts.. im not gonna feel better for a long time.. What happened earlier, long story but it will be short.. If some didnt know i use to be a Part of a group with Kids under the age of around 15, 16, or 14, somewhere about that age group.
well they soon kicked me out due to them feeling it wasnt safe for them to be around me, seeing im 18 so i was betrayed by them. But this has left a hole in me that wont heal.. Close friends i knew did the same to me, and kicked me out of both a sever and a group.
This has caused my fear of online people or even Irl friends to grow..
long story short i said something about a friend being "oh i forgot they were in a thing in a group" however it seemed to hurt them in someway and it caused another friend, one i knew in real life to tell e to apologize to them. however i had no idea what happened, i ment it in a good way not a bad way. In spite of it,
i felt i needed to stay away for a while - hence why i didnt respond for a long time to anyone - but today i got a message from my other person i knew saying i should basically apologize.
I actually was clueless to what happened but i was nervous due to me also getting a text from the same person (different one though) saying to sort it out, or our friendship was no more.
In pure fear i ha no idea what to say, something i had issues with was friends left me for similar reasons, not one, more back in the old days. i went to try to talk, but in pure fear and upset i couldnt talk.
At the end, their leader kicked me out the server and the groups and i was betrayed again.. but by close people.. Only one person was hearted enough to come to my aid and try to figure out stuff, in realizing they may have misunderstood what i said,
which is possibly the case, as i never mean harm to anyone..
but i dont know if they talked to them or what happened.. but at this time with Emotional pain, i dont know what to say about it... i only fonder at what if anything was said... It also kicks in to me apparently playing "victim"
which i will say i dont do, il admit ive done stuff yes, but its less than what was done to me,
im alot of different cases, and that may what it also could be, also ironic since if i were victim, pretty odd i was kicked, it is something ive thought about.. i dont know really much...

so i kindly ask.. please dont betray me... i never mean harm.. i was taught to be good... and with this pain... it is hard to admit it..

Description
if yall are curious how i feel... here...

So... things have taken the turn for the worst... Despite efforts.. im not gonna feel better for a long time.. What happened earlier, long story but it will be short.. If some didnt know i use to be a Part of a group with Kids under the age of around 15, 16, or 14, somewhere about that age group.
well they soon kicked me out due to them feeling it wasnt safe for them to be around me, seeing im 18 so i was betrayed by them. But this has left a hole in me that wont heal.. Close friends i knew did the same to me, and kicked me out of both a sever and a group.
This has caused my fear of online people or even Irl friends to grow..
long story short i said something about a friend being "oh i forgot they were in a thing in a group" however it seemed to hurt them in someway and it caused another friend, one i knew in real life to tell e to apologize to them. however i had no idea what happened, i ment it in a good way not a bad way. In spite of it,
i felt i needed to stay away for a while - hence why i didnt respond for a long time to anyone - but today i got a message from my other person i knew saying i should basically apologize.
I actually was clueless to what happened but i was nervous due to me also getting a text from the same person (different one though) saying to sort it out, or our friendship was no more.
In pure fear i ha no idea what to say, something i had issues with was friends left me for similar reasons, not one, more back in the old days. i went to try to talk, but in pure fear and upset i couldnt talk.
At the end, their leader kicked me out the server and the groups and i was betrayed again.. but by close people.. Only one person was hearted enough to come to my aid and try to figure out stuff, in realizing they may have misunderstood what i said,
which is possibly the case, as i never mean harm to anyone..
but i dont know if they talked to them or what happened.. but at this time with Emotional pain, i dont know what to say about it... i only fonder at what if anything was said... It also kicks in to me apparently playing "victim"
which i will say i dont do, il admit ive done stuff yes, but its less than what was done to me,
im alot of different cases, and that may what it also could be, also ironic since if i were victim, pretty odd i was kicked, it is something ive thought about.. i dont know really much...

so i kindly ask.. please dont betray me... i never mean harm.. i was taught to be good... and with this pain... it is hard to admit it..