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TurtleShell — for you
Published: 2003-10-09 03:23:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 85; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 35
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Description
Dina is gone,my brother too,
i have depression,
but i'll smile for you.
my grades will slip,
my dad will yell,
for friends i shall,
go down to hell.
Sebastian is dead,
i miss him dearly,
i'll celebrate,
his birthday yearly.
i have so many problems,
but i'll do the best i can,
i'll suffer though for you,
in life i have no plan.
in the end,when you ahead of me,
i'll be thankfull for my scars,
please be thankfull for me.
im glad your here,and im no longer hated,
ive suffered long,many years i have waited.
i praise the day, of your birth,
you have always shown me, what you are worth.
all the money in the world,
cant add up to your worth,
ill always praise,
the day of your birth.
Comments: 1
Wow. Just wow. Ive sometimes wished i could write a poem to commemorate one of the boys my grade lost in my final year, but i dont think i could have done it better than the piece ive just read now. Great presentation of the feeling of loss, and great rhyming pattern worked right into it.
I also find the single repeat of 'ill always praise the day of your birth' a highly effective one as its the only repeat in the whole piece, therefore drawing the reader's attention directly to your intentions for the piece.
WELL DONE!
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