HOME | DD

Description
Following a short-lived fad for pet dragons in the Year of the Withered Turnip, and the inevitable injuries and attendant property damage, dragon breeders set out to create a docile domestic lap-dragon. Unfortunately, reckless inbreeding for the desireable traits of placid temper and a diet other than raw meat resulted in low fertility, while failing to deliver the dragon-breeder's Holy Grail of a dwarf lap-dragon. Extensive trapping of wild dragons to improve the strain led to the extinction of wild dragons by the Year of the Gibbering Chipmunk, while domestic dragons grew increasingly fat, sedentary, and omnivorous (although the fertility problem had been fixed entirely too well.) In the end, the dream of lap-dragons was abandoned, and dragons found a new niche as garbage disposals, eating virtually every form of organic trash and converting it to high grade fertilizer. Attempts by the well-meaning to coax the morbidly obese and slothful dragons into a healthier lifestyle revealed that in fact, dragons were perfectly content to sleep twenty-three hours a day and have their food delivered, and had a regrettable tendency to convert anyone attempting to alter their lifestyle into mulch by the most direct route.

Description
Following a short-lived fad for pet dragons in the Year of the Withered Turnip, and the inevitable injuries and attendant property damage, dragon breeders set out to create a docile domestic lap-dragon. Unfortunately, reckless inbreeding for the desireable traits of placid temper and a diet other than raw meat resulted in low fertility, while failing to deliver the dragon-breeder's Holy Grail of a dwarf lap-dragon. Extensive trapping of wild dragons to improve the strain led to the extinction of wild dragons by the Year of the Gibbering Chipmunk, while domestic dragons grew increasingly fat, sedentary, and omnivorous (although the fertility problem had been fixed entirely too well.) In the end, the dream of lap-dragons was abandoned, and dragons found a new niche as garbage disposals, eating virtually every form of organic trash and converting it to high grade fertilizer. Attempts by the well-meaning to coax the morbidly obese and slothful dragons into a healthier lifestyle revealed that in fact, dragons were perfectly content to sleep twenty-three hours a day and have their food delivered, and had a regrettable tendency to convert anyone attempting to alter their lifestyle into mulch by the most direct route.