Dreamer-of-Magic [2012-03-18 18:43:59 +0000 UTC]

i agree! i recently wrote another poem like this....[link] this is really good ^^

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EliseLovesBruce [2009-03-23 15:51:25 +0000 UTC]

I love it, it's true...

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Pertubatio [2008-09-18 14:42:04 +0000 UTC]

True True.. I like this a lot!

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grim-puppet-demon [2008-03-02 10:52:12 +0000 UTC]

though ur acusations are true its our decision to wear these masks its our decision to take them off and tell the truth its our decision to loosen these bonds called masks to tell another a lie for there own benifitwe decide and as messed up as that sounds its the annoying truth

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Cbolt [2005-01-23 07:15:36 +0000 UTC]

Rhymes are awesome...if really want any critiqueness...syllables...

Why should i trust you? is 5 syllables
In this human masquerade, is 7
where no one shows the truth, is 6
and everyone's afraid. is 6
Another mask for different times, is 8
another mask for a different place. is 9
showing the truth seems such a crime. is 8
The truth is i can't trust you, is 7
Nor can you trust me. is 5
For i have seen too many masks, is 8
So let's just dance, shall we? is 6

Ahh! Syllable Strike Force! But when you match syllables, the whole rhythm gets easier to say and coincidingly remember, and it sounds like a poem that would be totally awesome to randomly say to someone, and expand into...

A Song! Yeah! That "Another Mask" bit would make the great starts of a chorus, especially since it drains most of the syllables.

Cbolt strikes again with his silly expansion of ideas suggestions! *flies away*

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ladyshini [2004-07-06 19:24:31 +0000 UTC]

*nod* Tis good. . .nicely written. . .and yeah. . .masks are greatly used throughout society. . .some people use them so often they forget who they really are.

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StarlitThoughts [2004-02-24 21:23:10 +0000 UTC]

thats cool, i like it. i look forward to seeing the edited version when u get around to it ^_^

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