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allcoma — Star vs. the Forces of Evil Scorecard
Published: 2019-10-09 18:25:54 +0000 UTC; Views: 21548; Favourites: 20; Downloads: 5
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Once Upon a Time there lived a poor soul named Allcoma. At the random day of 2015 he finds out the existence of Star vs Forces of Evil: a show that has been pushed out from every existing corner as some sort of sensation that mortals didn’t earn. Even since the earliest times allcoma checked out a fair amount of episodes of the first season. To say at least he didn’t liked them at all, leaving the show behind for the better. Despite not bothering with the show afterwards, he couldn’t ignore the experience of this show nonetheless because of how much hype Star vs grabbed around itself. With hype, there comes the countless amount of dramas and controversies that it’s fandom caused during all this time. And with 2019 being the red flag for both show and fandom. The hatred that Star vs got over last time was so convincing, that after all those years Allcoma finally motivated himself to watch this show fully for once and for all, by seeing how much it changed beyond its not so good beginning.Okay the talk in third person is over don’t worry. Instead let’s talk about the show’s writing quality of each season to see the grand result.
I really can’t say that my opinion towards the First season changed at all. This is a textbook of your uninspired morning cartoon about a "fish out of water" character that finds new friends and goes on adventures with them to fight the exact same villains over and over again. But what does especially drop a ball at this situation is how painfully obnoxious it is. A lot of episodes have hardly any attempts at the jokes that don't rely on annoyance of the main protagonist who only likes doing whatever she wants. Every second episode goes through this trope and it gets old as fast as it’s started to force itself. Even if you somehow can forgive this by being deaf, you can’t pass the fact of how dead on substance most of those episodes otherwise. Despite having a lot of variation of the dimensions/locations, episodes do absolutely nothing with them whatsoever beyond beating the exact same annoying tropes. Quest Buy had such a good potential for making a good labyrinth plot, instead its entirety was dedicated for a lame slapstick, and the ending of the episode just made the entire thing pointless for the sake of nothing. Mewberty doesn’t even have a definite progression in its plot, it’s conflict resolved itself by complete coincidence at the ending, making literally every previous act of the characters entirely useless. And Pixtopia... just imagine the worst nightmares of typical Canadian Cartoon, and you get this monstrosity of an episode. Day Freeze especially disappointed me. I really love the entire setpiece that episode took place in, and even the first half of the episode was decent enough. But damn, the second half of the episode took such a stupid direction to show how desperate the character’s interaction between his crush been for all those years, just to the ending of episode conclude nothing. As again, for the sake of a cheap joke that isn’t even funny in the first place. The only more patient thing that I could say about this season is that it got slightly more tolerable in the second half, once we got introduced to the main villain of the show. It’s not saying much as the writing didn’t get any less repetitive and annoying, but there was at least some sort of aim put into the last bunch of the episode, making some of them even passable. It seemed that the show started to open the new horizons for itself by having much more weight and depth in its story at the next season.
And it did. Starting with the Second season this show got for itself the definite direction to lead to. I had no choice but but finally admit that this show... reached the bare minimum, something that no one normally would give credit for at all. Yes, this show finally started to understand what it was trying to reach, but that doesn’t mean that this understatement is enough to make the entire thing work. So many episodes lack the actual entertainment value put into them, with plots being either nonexistent or slow to the point where I have no idea how it isn't some sort of subplot of other episode. Love to see characters waiting in the line for 11 minutes? Goblin Dogs will be heaven for you. May as well love Page Turner btw, the entire thing dedicated to the exact same point of character trying to get up on stairs for the entire thing. At least when the episode showed the actual problem at the last second, it was portrayed as a joke that got cut by not explaining anything after it. Star on the Wheels is another episode where random events just happen because why not, I couldn’t even pay attention to what happened in that episode because it just jumps from one thing to another for the entirety of itself. Belts are Off going to be a good dessert to all of this. This episode couldn't have been any more pointless when the entire twist was something that the show told about the character ages ago already, I have no idea what episode even tried to tell with its ending at all. Oh and, did I even mention that all those episodes are nearly jokeless? On one hand, I really glad that they aren’t, as S1’s sense of comedy was straight up infantile. But even then, those episodes don't even have any good story to tell and the complete lack of any comedy makes them entirely useless. Don’t worry though, as at times you still have your own Collateral Damage, stuff like this wouldn’t seem out of place in S1. This season also started to focus on love drama, and good lord this season was so dull with it. Even with the absolutely unbearable set-up that Naysaya was, the episode that focused on a couple had nothing interesting to show, once again because of complete lack of substance beyond the constant whining. And even when episodes hint something interesting, it got covered up by teen trash because we don’t deserve to see something actually fresh. Bon Bon the Birthday Clown was the main offender, as the beginning of this episode was such a great set-up for a good mystery plot, and at the end of the episode it paid zero impact, because the entire conflict with Clown got flushed away for the sake of 22 minute sappiness. Admittedly the climax of this episode is decent too, but that was a little too late to save anything. Although, what made this season at least the most tolerable one is that it had the bigger amount of decent, or even better episodes. As even with the lack of substance and jokes overall, some episodes still tried to show at least some interesting details about the show's universe that most of this time doesn’t target the main protagonist. We even ended up having Into the Wand, which is a great episode that for once had actually good sense of journey mood put into it, and the additional information about the show's lore that actually adds value in it. I have no idea why this season leaves those episodes as the exemptions by the flavor of having more The Red Belt type of garbage. Maybe this season knew what it’s going for, and at the rarest chance there’s been a few stand outs, most of the season such a bland mess that has hardly anything to cheer up for.
Third Season tried to make the show look even more serious than it ever was before. By focusing entirely on dimensions that connected to magic, this looked like a not bad start. We even got the entire arc at the beginning that looked like something promising. Well, you can not even be bothered to say "what can possibly go wrong" as S3 already did this job for you. At first, Battle at the Mewni seemed half-competent, some of it still shares the exact same quality issues as previous seasons, but at least it tried to introduce something more to the table. However, all of this, and by ALL I really mean it, got entirely dropped by the conclusion of the arc. By the complete deus ex machine that was caused at the end of it, most of, while the lame and undercooked, but still somewhat of an development, been entirely erased from the further progression by starting the entire new leaf at nearly everything. This is not how it works, if you wanted to go with the direction that you went after this arc, why the hell you haven’t started with it in the first place? That only would have provided the disappearance of useless garbage from S1-2 that was the average material in them. But have the new premises got any better? The answer is no because we don’t deserve to have a good life. Even though this show pretended to get more serious with its format, it didn’t get rid of any of the infantile nature that it had before, which is somewhat even worse. Yeah S1-2’s bad with its comedy, but somewhat they didn’t try to hide that by being openly juvenile. Season 3 though? Stuff like Death Peck and Starfari are all circus without the clowns in it. And once again, this season had non a single interesting thing with new locations. Want to see the magical and colorful adventures? Fuck you, watch the teenager crying and whatever the hell Holliday Special was. At the end of the season there was also the plot-like that supposed to represent racism between Monsters and Humans, but the same 2 episodes that for this idea dropped this concept right after by focusing on other fluff. None a single direction that this season took helped at all. The only option that was left was seeing what show was going to serve at its last accord of a season.
The fourth season is the point of the show where not even the majority of hardcore Star vs’ fans could’ve stand up for. After draining myself with the entirety of it, I can see more than why. This show always lacked any resemblance of stakes in a single episode, but Jesus, in S4 there was a feeling that writers tried to beat the whole new record of dead air, because you just need to try hard to find something as soul-sucking as this season. Ever since the beginning season tried to focus on random amnesia arc by wasting 3 whole episodes for it, 2 of them are specials by the way. Not only it got resolved by such an anti-climatic and cheap way at the halfway point, nearly everything that happened at the first 2 episodes paid off no value whatsoever. Who the fuck cares about the random Carnaval event that didn’t struck any value to the current aim? Escape from The Pie Folk is the same thing, except this one even more disappointing as I actually really liked the entire new location. Once again the show didn’t find a way to make something interesting with its premise other than pulling out the same awful running gag of Monkey. If this arc hasn't been enough for you, then you’ll have a great time with the rest of the season. Most of the episode's structure have the same idea of dedicating as small an amount of time as possible for all the plot points that ain’t 100% useless, just for the rest of the thing having nothing stick up with at all. Don’t believe me? Look at the Yada Yada Berries, this episode started out as the mystery plot that got completely abandoned at the end of the episode, leaving this question getting answered in Ghost of Butterfly Castle. I know that this show has one connected story, so not everything is supposed to be explained at once, but Yada Yada Berries doesn’t put anything useful out of itself beyond starting this question, skip the rest of the episode and you will lose nothing. Junkin Janna is even better, for example, the only moment of the episode that played off a single plot-point that got mentioned at the end of the snow was the last 10 seconds. The rest of the episode feels like the show tried to start the competition with Family Guy by dragging out the most simplistic actions, by also delivering this as a joke. There was also some other conflict with the spirit at the castle, but it was never mentioned ever again in any other episode, and as the main plot, it dragged dead air for too long for being tolerable. Beach Day is another abomination that leaves you with nothing but a 11 minutes of nothingness. The entire episode was supposed to be the answer for a little arc (that was super underdeveloped beforehand tho) of the picture that supposed to mean something important. And after wasting time for the overly long set-up, you got... nothing! That’s right, there was literally no twist to this question. The entire conflict that had been stuck for some time ended up being a complete waste of space and so the episode’s slot, because this is why we appreciate serialized shows isn’t it. And if you missed the show's childish humor, then don’t worry, you still have Down to the River, this episode is something that came out strong from The Loud House’s universe, and just at its worst at that. Mama Star continues the formula of having a single plot point of characters moving from point A to B, but to kill some time in between you have to watch 4 characters act like infants, as this show always knows what content will satisfy its audience. And speaking of audience’s satisfaction, Britta’s Tacos has no plot beyond the montage of characters meeting the nobodies from S1 that you couldn't care less about, with the other plot of grand prize ending up being the predictable punchline. And I haven’t even mentioned the amount of the most noticeable plot-holes that this season filed itself. This season, especially at the second half, is just a plot error after the plot error that could be noticed even by the person that doesn’t dive that deep into the plots. The entirety of Gone Baby Gone exists only because of the completely illogical beginning, where kids jumped into the portal even though said portal was closed on-screen. The Right Way has similar idea, where by the currency of the events all the dimensional portals got entirely locked, but characters from all other locations and dimensions still managed to reunite with each other because shut the fuck up you just nitpicking. The same episode also provided a giant asspull of an ending where we saw the army of Armored Titans. Even though for the entirety of S4 there’s been shown clearly that there has been only one of those, and even then, it took season all the second half to build it up. Blaming rushed production? Meh, this show never had writing that didn’t sucked, all S4 did is exaggerate all of this to the absolute. To make it up, this season decided to create the grand gift for all the audience that is known as the show's finale. Just as the Battle of the Mewni’s resolution ruined a lot of the progression of S1-2, this time finale not just ruined everything that show went though, it fucked it up to the absolute horrifying extent, showing the middle figure to everyone who ever watched this show. I really am not going to exaggerate when I’m saying that I lose pulse for a few moments after finishing such a bang. It was this insultingly terrifying. I suppose it was a worthy way to end such a pathetic writing chronology that this show went though. Show’s crew desperately tried to create an excuse towards all those mistakes on Reddit after such a wild reaction, but it was so bad that none of them made any sense as all the crew talked separately and contradicted each point and statement of each other. Wish that writing this highly abominable was often in a bad shows, at least here there are some things to bring up.
Fortoolazytoread: The writing of this show was such a disaster. From being a regular annoying show for kids it turned into yet another failed serialization that got mixed into so much emptiness, tonal shifts, and of course plot holes. But people who still missed the S1’s type of humor are still going to find something of their own in the later part.
But you know what was on it’s downhill rot as well? Show’s animation. At the beginning of S1 it was not bad, even with season’s obnoxious sense of writing and comedy I can’t deny that the fluid and fairly expressive animation was given to it. Some episodes even had fighting scenes put into them, they aren’t enough to save the entirety of episodes, but they aren’t bad at all. And the background art was solid as well, that is also a good thing when this show had a lot of locations to move forward. The problem here is that this season couldn’t even take this quality to the end of it. As animation got noticeably downgraded to the cheapest tween. Ironically enough, this change happened exactly at the moment the show introduced its main villain. I have no idea how it was passed like that, but okay. This animation status got this consistent for the rest of the show, giving itself a very stiff, snoring look. I have no idea how this show still tried to attempt action scenes at that point. Most of them look so tiring and lifeless by having a big lack of the proper budget. Instead of actual feeling of pain and energy now it’s just a few soft punches on repeat. With the lesser amount of energy all characters also started to bouncing out way less and for once hold still, and with that I started to noticing how most of the characters designs of the show looks so mediocre, a lot of them have a poor sense of details where you can’t much to describe their personalities by their look. The way the show draws eyes of most of the characters especially turned up as something unpleasant. S4 somehow managed to make animation even worse, colors got as dull as even possible, this is noticeable whenever the season took place at the locations that were often back in S1-2. Animation errors are everywhere, and can get to the point where a character can have entirely different skin color that he usually has. And the action scene keeps being as unimpressed. Show’s genius finale got high enough to entirely abandon the fighting with the endgame villain because at this point no one cared. Very sad picture here, as unlike the writing, visually the show had at least some resemblance of quality at first.
Fortoolazytoread: Visually this show is nice... for 0.5 season in total. Otherwise it’s dull, lackluster and simply doesn’t fit for adventure based shows. To not bore yourself too much you can follow its downgrade by each step at the last season of the show.
The characters of the show though. The cast is what made me hate this show the most, so much of them annoyed me for a ton and a half of reasons from each possible side of them. Star herself is some of the single worst protagonists I’ve ever seen in any show. Ever since the introduction that Star Comes to Earth was we got the most important information about the protagonist: Infuriating idiot who doesn’t give a thought for a single action that she’s causes and simply doing whatever the fuck she demands with her given magic source. S1 worshipped her behavior at the absolute worst. At first sight, her voice acting in season was downright unlistenable, every time she overly-reacted by crying or screaming I almost wanted to promote Dee Dee Be Deep, and this episode is a pain for ears. And everything that Star did in this season is destroying anything she’s seeing on her way for the sake of it, by not thinking for any sort of consequences and continuing abusing her magic wand’s powers. Every single time whenever she does something downright damageable to the whole place she gets away with that completely by everyone supporting her behavior. Look at the School Spirit and Banagic Incident, in episodes like this Star did not a single thing that didn’t cause disaster in her hands, and not only she didn’t get any sort of punishment, everyone around her cheered her up as the result. Not to mention, she’s awfully hypocritical. In The Other Exchange Student she stalked the person not even because she worried about the danger of her friends, but because after this person got in the house people gave her slightly less attention than they did a second ago. In Lobster Claws she constantly questioned the guy who just tried to redeem himself despite seeing him not faking it out, by entirely pushing him back to being a villain for her boot kicking at the end of the episode. And Storm the Castle, the episode that not even bad, has such an idiotic set up where Star called out the person only because he didn’t wanted to risk his ass for a dumb sandwich. What the heck am I watching and why this twerp of an character is the main protagonist? And no, this isn’t the case when character started plainly inaccurate just to develop later on. As for the first, it doesn’t make it up for being obnoxious at all, and none of those times it made any sense for her actions being unpunished. And it took show so long to her to shut up for a very little amount of time. S2 supposedly muted her down, but just like the rest of the season, it's’ more of an bare minimum than anything else as I still have no sympathy towards this character. And even in this season she ain’t without her sins. Star vs Echo Creek and Mathmagic are both the episodes that gave this character such a soft cheat at the end of the episodes just because ProTAgoNiZt neED tO WIn. With Mathmagic that was especially a letdown, as it’s started out as a pretty good time loop plot that had a lot of potential at being some of the show’s best material, but instead it ended with a fart. And how I didn’t mentioned The Gift of Card yet, where the entire plot got Star’s friend into neat death only because she forgot to tell him the simple rule months ago. Don’t worry though, S3-4 fixed all of this. Now instead of being overly gullible and loud she’s straight up pessimistic and lowkey aggressive towards anything else. Maybe it’s can get preferable over what she was before, but it’s really doesn’t make her any less hypocritical and annoying as she was since the beginning. At the end of the show she entirely get out her sanity and decided to cause the magical genocide by her own will. This makes zero sense to her horrible, but still personality. And did she even feel bad about this decision? It took her a single mindless speech that had no evidence for nothing to get better and move on. Star is an absolutely despicable protagonist. She’s ignorant, grating and simply sick with all the decisions that she came up with. For her hand we had Marco. On the paper, he’s entirely the opposite of Star, as his personality formed on him being calm and safe from each step. While this is definitely nowhere near as bad as Star, Marco still manages to annoy at how nothing of a character he is. Even his most basic traits of being overly organized have been ditched by the very beginning for the first season, and most of the time he just ends up being a target for Star’s bullets of actions. There was a small detail in Monsters Arm that leaves a spirit of the spell inside him, by hinting something promising for the future, but it wasn't mentioned ever again beyond a short time in S3, which didn’t lead to anything anyway. Looks like snow doesn’t even WANT to this character to have anything interesting put into him. And whenever he isn’t around her, he just wastes time by trying to find a single way to make himself useful at the different locations and characters, all those results entirely fail and he always ends up getting back to the Star’s armpit. And just like actual Star, at the S3-4 there was a breakpoint where he turned from uninteresting guy to pretentious pisskid who can’t decide which direction he wants to take, by being a complete moron towards most of the people he met. Night Life was a noticeable point where Marco got such a translation. He tried to take 2 seats at once by taking care of 2 issues and failed horribly at the result, and by the most simplistic reasons such as not telling Star’s issues to the person that he teamed up with, which nearly put her into the deadly trap in this episode. He also tried to have a plot-line with trying to reach the knight status, but too bad that The Knight Shift decides to forget all these decisions after a fair amount of episodes. Even when he finally shut ups in those episodes he ends up being completely useless in situations, leaving anyone else to rule the party instead. This guy came from being a complete waste of character to the nuisance that worked his ass out over the single abilities that he got by not thinking through that one step. Very fitting companion for Star I suppose.
The support cast of the show isn’t any better. With the characters of earth locations there’s really hard to say anything separately, as they only provide for the existence of show’s unfunny jokes and filler plots. You can have Marco’s Parents that are always overly ignorant to the world except for the single time in S2 when the script demanded so. Admittedly I liked their portrayal in Hungry Larry and Marco Jr. but that’s about it. Sensei, who is absolutely annoying with his childish behavior, stuff like Red Belt only wants you to hate him as much as it’s possible to. Even got Goblin Teacher, all that you need to know is that The Matchmaker was a giant mistake of the universe, with Interdimensional Field Trip tried to give this character somewhat the small development, but abandoned all the points that it did right after it started them. And the actual students of the show field with the single most basic cliches that you could think of, like nerd and spoiled brat types. Only earth character that the show decided to take regularly has been Janna, and I really do not like her. Her main personality is being a constant creep, which never works as both a joke or a character study as show balance neither. But what the show also doesn’t understand is how it even uses this character during the entire run, at some point Janna can be entirely absent and poping out in the background, but then she can randomly get invested into the conflict. S4 especially loved that, where she translates between dimensions off screen server times (later season tried to explain that, but twist was still very questionable). The same episode tried to give her depth of how she actually cares about people’s feelings and it was absolutely pathetic. And the same one has the whole sequence of characters collecting tennis balls as a trade. The case gets way more interesting when you get into the non Earth characters because, oh boy, we have something to bring up. Both River and Moon are very fitting parents for individuality like Star. With the first one it’s more simple of a deal, if you see at least one example of an idiot dad from any other show, then you already know what to expect from River. This character has exactly the same thing as Marco’s Sensei, where a guy always acts like a complete toddler. Ever since his first grand episode that Royal Pain was, you get introduced to the wonderful world of idiocy that only gains the want to turn off the whole thing inside your mind. And that’s not even the single exception, Camping Trip, Marco and the King, Bogbeast of Boggabah are all the same shit. This is honestly really hilarious to admit that River with all his lowbrow behavior ended up being some of the more tolerable characters at the end of the S4, as he got entirely innocent in comparison to Moon. Holy shit what a tragic story with Moon was. At the beginning, this character was perfectly okay. Not that interesting nor funny, but out of all of the characters in Star vs she had the bigger sense of logic in actions, even her backstory in Moon the Undaunted ended up being a very solid stand out to this show. But this show thought that having a harmless character is too boring, so it decided to entirely screw her up in S4. At the beginning of this season she tried to be as irrelevant to the main point as possible. But the more episode went though, the more she became way more egotistical and free-minded for her welcome. With the end arc of the show turning her up into a literal villain for the sake of subversion that makes a negative amount of sense. She also got entirely braindead along to it, as apparently she was gullible enough to give free power and status to mentally broken people with also surprising that the same madman got against her by the end, by complete awareness of her suspicion character since the beginning. Not enough of this? What about the fact that by the end of the arc she was entirely forgiven by everyone that she formerly betrayed. The closest thing that she got was Star that called her out in Tavern, but it got all forgotten immediately and everything turned out being ok in Star’s book, even though if not for Moon, all the collateral disaster that has been caused could’ve been nonexistent. Moving to the less cancerous character, we have Eclipsa. I know that this character is considered as being the best (or one of) of the show and... I don’t really understand why. During the entire run of S3-4, the show constantly got confused at what perspective it wanted to take with this character, by entirely changing the position of her with each next episode. Episodes go constantly with the same logic of "Oh wow she’s a bad guy!!! Oh wait never mind she’s clean.... hahahahahah jk she's clearly a villain.... hmmmmm maybe she isn’t?". Show doesn’t even understand what it is trying to do with such a character. S4 got further enough to turn her into a complete idiot. Stuff like Swim Suit, Monster and the Queen, Surviving the Spiderbites and E S P E C I A L L Y Queen-Napped make her look so incompetent at her job to the point where I have no idea what she truly tried to succeed. Glossaryc is another genius personality of the show. Since the beginning of the run he has been portrayed as some sort of Knucklehead who only loves to waste free space and eat pudding instead of doing something actually helpful. Show doesn’t truly understand how to use him either. At times he can say that he doesn’t feel any emotion just for him purely crying in some other episode. Then the show tried to pretend that this character got off-the list by killing his spell book, but he returned in his physical form in Rest in Pudding, which at its own was enjoyable enough, but what was the point of shooting him down then if he returned 5 episodes after? And that doesn’t even pay off for any changes for the character as he stayed the same. Well, he did have one thing where he acted like an animal and spelled one single word, but S3’s finale delivered this as a punchline of a horrible joke where he apparently only pretended to be like an animal. For a character that played an impact on the show's lore a lot, this was an entirely abysmal decision to make such a fundamentally ruined joke that was dragged out though the whole season. He also technically existed in S4, but I couldn’t think of a single remarkable thing that he ever did in it beyond the last 2 episodes. Maybe that’s for the better though. Only character from all of the adults that is any decent was Buffrog, he had his own cute arc with his family and I liked the way he portrayed his friendship with Star after fighting against her for the whole first season. Sadly the show really didn’t understand what it tried to do with this character after S2, by starting to push him away during S3-4’s events by a few exceptions. I guess other characters are more important than the ordinary ones.
Looks like more grown up characters in this show suck a lot, but what about the friends of main protagonists? Here’s Tom, he started as a plain snob figure that plays for the sake of nothing but a set of the failed arc (that we will rage later). During some time of S2-3 the show tried to give him some development of getting way more nicer towards characters. At first, it was harmless and worked well, but the show decided to turn this character into a sappy, pathetic loser who only whines about how much he can’t live without Star’s forehead. Entirety of The Boy and His DC-XE700 was dedicated to the fact of how desperate Tom became later on where he could forget how to breathe without the support of other characters. But he is not even close to being half as bad as Kelly was. This character is so useless that it becomes a pain in the ass just for this fact. She doesn’t even have a proper character introduction in the show, other characters just met her in the line and stuck up for the rest of the episode. Not a single thing that this character ever did paid impact towards the main story of the show, not even in the negative way, she just wasted the space of the episodes and mostly for one single option: the break up victim. She had an annoying boyfriend that lived in her head, and all of the appearances of both were dedicated to how they constantly break up and reunite with each other. This got off any limits at the Conquer, where we have nearly the single minute of the scene where Kelly reacted to the near-death status of his the middle of a fight by making it horribly anticlimactic. And turns out that he was still alive and doing well after this event anyway. Oh, and about that. Only time Kelly took any role that isn’t got to the break-up drama were the fighting in both Conquer and The Right Way, but in both of the cases characters lose miserably with getting no score out of battle, so her appearance was entirely useless anyway. I have no idea why this show bothered with this character at all, she couldn’t leave a single mark on the show’s story during all the seasons where she got involved into. But believe me or not, none of those characters are the worst ones, because even as awful as they are we haven’t even targeted Ponyhead yet. I absolutely abhor Ponyhead, every single thing that I said about Star is what this character is, except exaggerating every single point for 100 times. Throughout the entire 4 seasons of the run, this character showed none a single sense of the characterization with any sort of morality put into her. She doesn’t give a shit about anything or anyone, and exists only to turn everything into nonstop hell by acting like the single worst bitch of the universe. It wouldn’t be as bad if not one thing: show treat her like she’s on the right side all the goddamn time. Ever since Party with a Pony, Star gave her all the privileges for doing anything she wants by no rules at all. It comes to the border where Star been aware that Ponyhead tried to literally kill Marco and she didn’t fucking cared. But that’s okay, Ponyhead got arrested at the end... right??? Too bad that the same season got her back where she started. St Olga’s Reform School for Wayward Princesses in general had the level of logic of edgy 16 year old kid that try to defend his criminal actions by "bruh I’m individual fuck off", but with the case of Ponyhead it got straight up insulting. I see non a single reason how this character couldn’t deserve the punishment that this episode prepared for her. You can say that brainwashing someone is the cross of the line , but her introduction showed her as an unstoppable maniac that is dangerous to anything she’s touching, so a decision that is more harsh is completely justifiable. And you seriously telling me that someone like that can get away with this? This is S1’s logic of "doing shit and you're alright" at its worst. Maybe it could’ve worked if she somehow gained some conscience out of such an adventure, but no, ever since then she returns to annoy all the fucks out of you, as Pizza Thing and Ponymonium are both the worthy continuation of this character’s irredeemable attitude. There’s even the second chance of putting her at the deserved spot in S3, where she loses her horn during the attack in Skooled. But that was also just a punchline to a joke as she got her horn back in the easiest way imaginable. Why was this plot even there to begin with? It’s ended just as fast as it’s started. At least it makes up for her performance in The Right Way where she just commented on the entire battlefield and portrayed the serious injuries as a joke for her horrible TV show. Hell, this show was so proud of such a character that at the finale she didn’t get damaged for a little bit. Despite all of the magic vanishing, Ponyhead was still able to fly and do everything she did before. That also comes across to the question of how the hell Star even shares anything remotely close to such a freak to the point of considering her the best friend. Maybe it made sense back in S1 when her behavior was as hypocritical and light-minded, but afterwards? This just makes no chemistry at all. Instead, Ponyhead simply wastes space for the higher stage of brain cancer that you are most likely going to gain during the watch of all episodes that rely on her. If you are fine with that, good for you, but it was quite painful to my stomach.
Villains of this show have been screwed up as much. Toffee at the first look is a pretty competent, charismatic badass with a good sense of leadership and strategy, which could’ve been a fantastic choice for a main villain for the show. But all of that is something that the show decided to discover only in theory, because in the actual show he got an entirely off-screen role after S1’s finale. And it could’ve been fine if it was just a break from this character just to him to return for the big event. And while he did, that event ended up being the disaster that Battle of the Mewni’s resolution was. And with that Toffee got entirely erased from the show's universe ever since then, good to know that at the end of the show we got a twist where his’ plan ended up being the truth for the characters, making his loss being the double edged mistake of a decision. To replace him, we got Mina. This character started out as a horrible one-off that was introduced in Starstruck. From the plain character design to voice acting, she was obnoxious from each side that you look at her. At first she disappeared from the entire picture of the story for the better, but later half of S3 decided to bring her back by pulling out of nowhere in Monster Bash. Ever since she took the role of the Endgame villain of the show, and I want to find a single person who could take this person seriously as someone that the protagonists will fight at the last battle after 4 seasons of the run. But on the other hand, I shouldn’t even bother with that because there was no fight to begin with. As all the conflict even with her actions got translated into Moon’s unforgivable turnoff. Hell, no one even bothered to arrest Mina after she got defeated, even though she made it clear that she will try to get revenge. And after an literal genocide I doubt that anyone going to risk their asses with letting free someone who was the main reason of such an cause. Between Toffee and Mina there’s also been Meteora, and her situation really doesn’t helping. St Olga’s sin was not only letting Ponyhead scot free, but it also created the entire arc of Meteora trying to get rid of Marco as thinking that he is a Princess. Beyond the constant returning into the same location of Wayward Princesses, we got the work of genius that was known as Heinous, 11 minutes of character arguing over retarded conflict that doesn’t make any sense from the perspective of both Marco’s parents and actual Meteora after meeting each other. At the later point of S3 the show tried to give her a new look in Skooled by giving her a proper backstory. At the most of it, this episode was solid enough, but it got so much worse when the ending of it turned Meteora into such a flat, free-minded villain that had no sense of strategy or plans with her beyond destroying everything on her way. She even killed both of her companions at the same episode because with no other reason than "lol get it she’s heartless now". After the show quickly defeated her, she spent the rest of the show in the form of a baby, by becoming pretty much useless. Only time she got any real focus afterwards was Meteora’s Lesson and Gone Baby Gone, neither of them paid anything worthwhile to the table other than a very short plot point in Cornonation. And speaking of the later one. We also have the genius trio that the Magic High Commission was. Are they even supposed to count as the villains? At first the show portrayed them as more neutral characters that only try to keep everything in balance, but the more the show went though, the more all of them turned into literal racists at the end of the story. They also manage to begin to be complete idiots by the same time as they don't even understand what solid position they want to have. As in Butterfly Trap they went far enough by trying to lie to the magical cube with the full awareness that it would immediately kill all of them if they were not going to tell the truth. This situation only gets worse whenever those characters get separated from each other. Rhombulus is simply pathetic in the most annoying way, he started out with an entire episode where all entertainment came from his mindless venting and nothing more. Show tried to make him look like a Star’s friend in some regard but it was entirely forgotten in the next few episodes for a flavor of making him entirely egotistical. Only funny thing about that guy was the moment where he was arrested in Cornonation by causing the entire trouble, and then got unexplainably free in the next episode with having all the privileges and power that he had before. For his overweight to that, we have Hekapoo. Even beyond a laughably ridiculous name, her character traits always leave confusion, as it’s never understandable if she tried to be more responsible towards everything or the opposite. At one time, she tried to care about every single event that happened around the characters, but on others, she can pull a giant fuck to all of this and simply don’t care. This is especially noticeable at the end of S4 where she changed her plans several times, by switching sides between the rest of MHC’s and Star’s. In the finale she entirely gave up by giving a cold agreement to destroy all of the magic, knowing that it’s going to automatically kill her in the first place. If it took her to agree for the magical genocide this easy and fast, then what was even her motivation been in the rest of the show??? At first it seemed like she going to have some relationship development between Marco by giving both a teaming-up status, but Night Life dropped that completely by Hekapoo saying that she not going to work with him ever again after him lying big time (and that was very hilarious seeing her doing so anyway in Divide/Conquer). This character also responsible for the existence of Neverzone, where the entire idea of different time changes in comparison to other dimensions was fundamentally wrong and unexplained. Also Hekapoo did such an amazing job by telling this information only at the complete end of the journey, why this character supposed to represent wide one again. Even thought Marco spend 16 years in that dimension, it took him pretty much nothing for stabilization of his thoughts and actions of the former dimension. Even if Neverzone supposed to work as some sort of dream/trip, then how Marco still been able to keep the same skills/voice inside the regular body? And okay, maybe it was planned to begin just a poorly structured joke for one episode, but the same dimension was brought back several times after. That was also the time where show itself got so confused so much with this location that it forgot it’s own notes from it, as in Ransomgram Marco confirmed that he is already an old man in that universe just for Gone Baby Gone returning his past 30s year look. Omnitraxus doesn’t even have a single individual role except for Matchmagic. He always there for a background role and maybe rarely making a 2 punches towards the villain that ends up being pointless anyway. But hey, at least Magic High Commission has Moose from Happy Tree Friends as a officer, which is almost as funny as when their deaths been deliver as a plain cutaway joke, with Hekapoo being erased silently offscreen.
The cherry of this rotten cake are both Alfonzo and Ferguson: characters that were intentionally forced by Disney to be there, as Marco needed at least any sort of friends. They were so useless in this show that writers desperately tried to forget the existence of both after the first season by pulling them away. Their existence is almost as beautiful as it’s revolting.
Fortoolazytoread: this is one big package of awfulness that the show's cast was. From an irresponsible and loud protagonist you got her useless companion, tons of one-note friends, betraying bastards and directionless villains. And Ponyhead should burn in hell for the world’s global peace.
Someone from you who is reading this review may be surprised that I haven’t targeted one specific option of this show. Yes, the one that made this show so controversial and popular at the same time, by also causing infinite wars from the show's fanbase back at the times when episodes aired. And you are right, I’ve decided to take the big one for the last as it needed to be covered out only after looking at how bad the show's characters and structures were. Being said, we reached The Amazing World of Gumball Season 6 Episode 14. Ever since the show translated into more serialized tone rather than episodic, one of the most often interests that show got for itself was the romance. At the start we got the 2 given characters: Marco and Jackie, with the first one having a crush towards her for years, and with the later not giving much of attention towards him. But both started to date each other as S2 moved along, with Star sitting between both and reacting in different ways as the progression of the couple goes, with getting more personality to Star with each next step. Seems like a standard love drama at it’s finest, but there was one bullet that entirely shot this department down with no chances for destruction: complete lack of any suspense. You see, with storylines like those, there’s the options where you have no idea with what character the other protagonist will be at the end of the story, as even with only 3 characters there’s still some room for debate and options. But Star vs ruined this rule entirely but the complete absence of clues that makes you believe that there will be other options that aren’t about Marco loving Star. As since the middle of S1 we got the Blood Moon Ball, where at the end of the story Star’s and Marco’s souls got literally connected with each other forever. By that you already understand what character is going to fall towards each other by the force of magic, even if they didn’t immediately admit that. This is why episodes like Sleepover, Just Friends and Starcrushed entirely failed to tell the love story any better, we already know the entire context of this couple’s beginning, where the twist of "Star has crush in Marco Lol" plays out as something generically predictable. But maybe this is an exaggeration, you may say, as we still have Jackie on our hands and all the development that she got with Marco got too much time to get for nothing. Maybe this argument would’ve been valid if the show was on it’s halfway run, but with all it’s closed cases, it’s more than a bullshit, and not even the one that happened at one point only.
I didn’t mentioned Jackie when I talked about the show's characters for a reason, as I think it would’ve been very generous to say so. Not only she has possibly the single most ugliest design that show ever had (like wow, by her face she looks like someone that you REALLY not going to want to have eye contact with) her existence doesn’t gets any further beyond being the love object of the character, and once she broke up with Marco, she completely disappeared from the show’s premises, by only returning at the very end tail of S4 for a cameos. This is a really awful situation here, as her build up with Marco’s relationship went through 2 and a half seasons, and the show just decided to ruin all of this for the sake of Marco being with Star. If you wanted to have the latter couple since the beginning, why the hell are you wasting more than a half of the show for something else? All those episodes were so empty and sappy, and now you're telling me that I wasted them for even bigger nothingness? And okay, maybe it’s just one single mistake of the show, embarrassingly horrible, but one. Too bad that this is far from the show's only dating turn off. Not that many people ever bring this up, but Star also had his own love interest with Oscar. Just like Jackie, Oscar just exists for being the love ground to the character, and as it ended up in total, the destruction from the obvious conclusion. The plot line with Oscar isn’t even quarter as often as Jackie’s in overall snow, which was for the better, but this doesn’t excuse how undeveloped this was. This arc doesn’t even have an actual conclusion, as Star made a promise with Oscar to go with him somewhere at Summer in S2’s finale just to abandon him entirely without any given warning/explanation towards him. Not surprised that this character was thrown into the void after that either, seems like that not even fans cared about him whatsoever.
But what is this? Another victim of this shipping mess? Since the earliest times of S3 show decided to bring Star with Tom together as the brand new couple (technically she dated him before but I don’t care). Just like the Marco/Jackie plot, at first it looked like a healthy relationship that got a lot of episodes to go through, but the show got tired of this couple really quickly as Star started cheating on Tom at the later half of S3. This isn’t even an exaggeration, the entirety of Booth Buddies was already dedicated to a very thin plot, but the entire resolution of Star and Marco kissing each other got VERY easy on Star by knowing that she went up though with another guy, did she tell anything from this to Tom? Absolutely not, as we need to make protagonists as hypocritical as it was possible. Tom only got such information from Marco during Conquer. The situation escalated in Ransomgram, where all that Star did though the episode is obsessively starred at Marco’s abs behind the back of her current date. All of this S4 tired to resolve in Lava House Fever, where after Tom finally decided to talk this out, all that Star could’ve said after all of this trainwreck was "teenagers are just dumb lol". For a character that supposedly should have grown up a lot, this show really failed to make her look mature and responsible. Seems like it could’ve been the logical end to finally end the road of those 2, but no, S4 decided to waste not just one, but two entirely other episodes that tried to break both Star and Tom from each other. And both of those episodes have no substance at all beyond telling this short point. Doop-Doop wasted the entirety of its run-time on useless montage of Star saying goodbye to everyone, and Sad Teen Hotline dedicated to the entire problem of closed portals, that started contradicting each step that episode did. This isn’t surprising that the creator of the show described Tom as her own ex boyfriend(s) of the past, as this guy really got thrown into the dirt for the sake of nothing but a dragged out humiliation. This show also tried to ship Marco and Kelly at similar times, and this was the point where writers just started using fortune wheel to choose which character will be raped by who. This relationship didn’t even last properly for 2 solid episodes, by most of it happened at the background of episodes. With The Boy and His DC-XE700 not even bothering much and revealed that those characters don't even date each other anymore. Pretty accurate for such a worthless character like Kelly. At this point it looked like the show tried to make a parody of itself, too bad that this type of irony is not going to work this easily.
Season 4 got especially desperate with the want to make you think that Star and Marco are not going to be together at the end. As we got the entire 22 minute special that Curse of Blood Moon was. Every single thing that I said about S4’s dead air pacing and substance is what this special represents at the absolute horrific low. Want to see characters eating for 3 minutes? This is your choice, but I also suggest you the entire scene at the middle where we got the "joke" of trolls debating about a couch close to the bridge, this dragged for so on and on and changing absolutely nothing from the episode’s progression. But fine, at the very least this show had enough balls to finally make it clear that Star and Marco are free from each other now! Or at least that would’ve happened if the show had any balls at all. That is right, the entire special was a fucking lie. Because at the end of the season, we got Here to Help that told you that the entirety of Blood Moon issue was bullshit and a fake. This is beyond egregious twist that not only make you regret watching all of this ship war at the triple shame, it entirely made me question what writers ever tried to tell with all of this. If you want your shitty characters being together, then why the heck do you pull so many useless characters and waste billiard episodes for them? Why the heck do you need to make a horrendous special that pretends that it moved from this topic just to return it to the latest 5 episodes? Did any of these directions have a single second draft at all? Or if the show had any drafts to begin with? But none of the questions are important, as at the end of the day Cleaved is a thing. Where the episode pulled an actually useful idea for a conflict with separating Marco and Star by dimensional locking. But instead of actually risking to do anything with those sappy characters, we got the resolution where Star entirety gave up on the entire universe just to see Marco once again. With the result fuse 2 dimensions that are crafted out of the complete ass. The panic? The collapse? The Damage? Pfffff this is all irrelevant and minor now. At least those 2 teenagers are together now after we dragged them out for 4 seasons without any reasonable actions. Not thank you for watching this show.
Fortoolazytoread: Coming up next, we have nothing. We didn't have enough news to cover the whole show tonight, so I'm going to say absolutely nothing in the cadence of a news story, and I hope I'll get away with it. As I said a moment ago, this is all filler. Let's go live now to our reporter at the scene and hope that he comes up with something better. Mike.
Unfortunately, Kip, as you said a moment ago, absolutely nothing is happening here. It seems that, for now, there is no news at all. Therefore, I'll kill time by asking the general public what they think about it. Sir, what do you think about it?
What do I think of what? You-you haven't asked me anything.
And you, sir, any thoughts?
*(silence)*
I was really hoping that would take longer, but since it didn't, we will keep on wasting your precious time on Earth by re-explaining nothing over some random footage of the general public walking.
No one really listens to this part of the news anyway, so we should be okay. News, news, news, news. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Filler, filler, filler. Which leads us to the most important question: what was the point of all that?
What was the point, indeed.
W O W. That was quite a lot of dirty words for one show, after all of that, did this show make anything right during its entire run? In fact, there was one thing, and it’s Ludo, as he was a very interesting case of this show of all 4 seasons. At the beginning of the run, he was nothing but a comedic villain of the week that only exists for cheap laughs that gets from Star’s kicking. He has his own army of lameass monsters that always listen to what he says, and along with all of them they try to come up with another plan to steal Star’s wand, that always fails by the result. Just like the rest of the season, Ludo was pretty annoying and he never did nothing interesting with the ideas that he brought up. It was a pretty standard following for the entire season until Storm the Castle, where Star threw him away into the void, and by that Ludo in the Wild was caused. When I watched this episode, I couldn’t believe what I even looked at, as it was an absolutely pleasant surprise. After draining myself with 24 episodes of constant noise, awful characters and Pixtopia, I couldn’t even expect to see any light side of the case, but here it was. Ludo in the Wild is a simply beautiful episode, it’s atmospheric, dark, and engaging to sit through, as for once the show decided to actually show the adventure of the character's survival. What was a good thing to notice is that was not the one-time exception at all. Some portion of S2 and S3 still managed to take focus on Ludo’s misadventures only, and it was a joy to watch. I really like the character that he got after the S1, he is still clearly socially complicated and crazy, but he had a good sense of effort to get through his aims by surviving and educating his past mistakes, which is something that the actual show’s protagonist entirely failed at. He’s pure craziness also could spawn a fairly funny line at times, because of how much self-complicated he is in those episodes. Later on the show even gave a shot to look into his family’s roots, by giving even more useful information and the beginning of Ludo’s family reunion that his brother tried to create. Unfortunately, there was a con in most of those episodes, as great as most Ludo’s performances were, unfortunately a lot of his plots were connected into the sub-plots of Star’s shenanigans, and I don’t even need to explain how bad this case is. Stuff like Wand to Wand, Face the Music, Starcrushed and King Ludo are all the episodes that I REALLY wish for being separated. As for a story of actually good character episodes mixed with obnoxious, broken storytelling that is driven by pretentious teens. Only episode that I could blame entirely by itself was Book be Gone, as this was the one that started the pointless disappearance of Glossaryc with lack of substance on the top of it. But not going to like it, even in this one I still find some of Ludo's actions to be fairly amusing, even if it doesn’t save the entire thing at all. Sadly after the Battle of the Mewni, show though that Ludo is very unnecessary addiction to this show, by throwing him into the void for the second time. While he still has a valid motivation to do so, it is clear that it was made just to make more space for Club Snapped and Lava Lame Beach. At least we got Ludo Where Art Thou that continued the question of character’s physical status, by creating a very enjoyable trippy experience. Only a shot of an episode that show gave to Ludo was S4’s episode. After watching episodes from the first half of this season, I was very scared at what it was going to do with actually useful characters, and after all that fear I must say that Princess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic Bell was... the single best thing that show ever did. I couldn’t believe my eyes, but S4 with all it’s fatal mistakes at everything managed to get not only a fitting end-note for the character that I actually like, but also wowed me a few of the times by watching it on it’s own. Even though Ludo was still at the limbo of his obsession of the wand, he still showed a lot of how much he grew up though past seasons by spitting out the wand hunt completely in flavor to get away to his family. This episode is also solidly funny as well, it even managed to make fun of how ridiculous Ludo’s plebs and scams have been back at S1, which is something that could’ve been used unironically if it was any other episode at this point. Even some plot points that seem like an asspull have an actual justifiable logic put into them. Ludo misunderstanding wand with the castle deed? Makes complete sense as this character was obsessed with this object for his entire life, and after the mental problems that he formed during S2-3, him simplifying all the other objects to wand was a clear direction. But not making it feel like a total randomness episode had a pretty hilarious set-up with Bon Bon The Birthday Clown’s remake that introduced Ludo’s current state perfectly after a pretty long hiatus. Dennis not wearing glasses while reading the contract? Makes sense as well, as it was his given motivation/world vision of trusting everyone for better qualities in people, that’s been logically called him out for that as a result. And all of that makes up the conclusive speech that Ludo stated up during at the Barons’ Castle, which was dark, but in the most satisfying way imaginable. The complete redemption that Ludo struck though this episode is pure and justifiable, he never was a massive villain to begin with, but with all of nasty crap that he went through 3 seasons, this feels more than just nice for the character. I might despise S4 a lot, and I really do, but Magic Bell is a pure exemption of the rule here, as when the rest of the season failed at the most basic things, this episode did something more than not fail. After finishing this episode, I couldn’t believe how the show portrayed this character as a villain ever after S1, as he clearly had so much more humanity in him than any other character of this pathetic show could ever dream for. Maybe his own arc wasn't that big, but most of it worked greatly, and I absolutely happy that the show decided to not throw him into the main conflict of S4, it definitely would’ve found a way to ruin him somehow.
Fortoolazytoread: congratulations, for once this show introduced an actually great character. Even if he started out as lame and generic as it was, he got through interesting change by getting into some actually well-crafted adventures and development. No cancerous shipping, no plot-holes in every second side, no fucking Ponyhead. Just a piece of, while not as big, but a consistently engaging arc that gave me at least the smallest amount of energy to sit though the show overall.
In conclusion. Star vs the Forces of Evil was a truly fascinating show. It tried to be comedic, it tried to be serious, and it also tried being intriguing. In reality, this is infantile, empty trash that overstay its welcome by starting to pander to the shippers and by that entirely ruining any respectful borderlines. Not that show’s writing was ever good at anything, but damn, this show couldn’t even pander right as it always managed to make its audience angry with each next episode. I can’t even blame fans, if anything, I do feel sorry for them. As I absolutely know that if I somehow was a fan of this show, then I would’ve loathed stuff like Cleaved even more than I already do. Yes, not 100% of this show was bad, as once at the rare shot you can find semi-decent, if not a great episode. But most of them came from the single character that doesn’t even deserve to be in the same show with characters this hypocritical and disgusting. Even though this show is absolutely unrecommendable, if you love to watch at the burning dumpster fire, then this show is all yours. Even with the show's complete lack of substance I got a lot of fun at noticing what a new mistake Star vs going to show by the next episode, leaving into S4’s fiasco that we all loved and remembered. Star vs on it’s own extent is a unique show. And by absolutely hating it, I also find some weird charm in its awfulness, making it some of the most interesting experiences that I ever had in the past few years.
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how dare doop doop be atrocious
it literally contains the plan to stop global warming and you’re just gonna trash it like that?
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