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Atrixfromice — Heaven is...To rest
Published: 2011-01-28 03:19:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 793; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 6
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Hi there folks!Today is thursday! And some of you know that this is the day in which I post a drawing for you folks....this was the day in my schedule that was always happy for me, because I have the time to post something...but now....Well I have to be honest with you guys, today I don't feel happy....I feel the opposite of that, Because I'm passing throught a hard moment in my work, in my home, and coupled with that, or maybe worse!!!!.....the worse of my troubles is that I have a really bad situation that I can't solve...a love trouble with a guy who it seems I'm not enough for him....a guy who some time ago was my friend, and who apparently "felt something" for me in the past, but now he tells me that he doesn't feel anything for me....I was still talking with him all these days, though, because I loved him, and also I promised to be with him and give him compassion and understanding...but now I'm not sure if he is the person who I believed...or if I just saw something good on him that he doesn't have...Like I usually do...I always see the good side in every person, even if they seem to not having antything for other people! But now I'm seriously thinking maybe that always have been my mistake in life....because most of the times when I think so and I give my soul and heart to people, they always hurt me badly....Indeed, every people who I gave my whole soul always harmed my heart!!!! And the ones who still don't hurt me it's because I still don't give them my whole heart; but in the moment in which they become my closest friends and I give them my bare soul, it's when they all hurt me!!!
...Well the only person in this world who I gave my soul and never hurt me, is my dear friend, confidant and Mentor...and I'm so sorry with her because I caused her so much pressure in these days....and also because I fear I will never able to be the person I wanted to be....I wanted her to be proud of me, I wanted her to be proud of being my mentor!!!...But sadly I feel I'm out of strenght...and my troubles, specially the love one, are making me falling apart in tiny pieces....I never thought that a love trouble could be my downfall...but as I always use to say "love is a strong force, but in a bad situation it can destroy you"....also the valentine's day ads doesn't help me at all 
...I felt so sorry for my dear Mentor who tried so hard to help me!...And also for you who like my art, because deserved more art from me...I wrote him because a couple days ago cos I didn't wanted to stop talking with him and leave him without an explanation (because he told me that his ex-girlfriend did that to him, and I didn't wanted to do the same) and I told him that I LOVE him...but Now I realize it was my most craziest and reckless idea, since I was able once to stop loving him and go away from him and so leave my pain away, but I decided to continue talking with him and help him instead of leaving him...And I was something silly!! but you know, when people fall in love, sooner or later they do something monumentally silly and crazy...and some days ago I did it....I gave him my bare soul and heart...I testified my love and he just broke my heart and throw my soul away, instead of paying attention in what I told him about my life and my trouble in my home and give me his support and understanding.....and now I'm so awfully sad because I didn't expected that...I expected from him the behavior of a caring and sensitive soul, I excepted him to ask me about my life and helped me, because I always thought he was a sensitive and caring soul too, just like me....And I still considered him my friend...But that didn't happened....he just...chose to break my heart....
And now I feel a really huge pressure in my chest, and an unberable sorrow and pain in my heart, because I read his note and he said that he wanted me as a "brother or a sister"; but he doesn't love me for real....maybe he never actually appreciated me or what I did, or what I tried to do for him when I was there and gave him my support when he was in trouble...and now I don't know why I'm writting this here!!...I guess I think writing it here will make the trouble become tiny and will take my pain away, since when I was younger I used to write memoirs for myself and they made me feel better...but now I no longer can write any memoirs cos I feel they don't have any sense if no one will read them...and writting this here...I think it doesn't work! My pain is still here....and it's tearing me appart....
Or rather! I think I'm writting this now cos I feel maybe I will not be here anymore....and therefore, this will be my last thursday in which I will be able to post something here and talk about something...and I wanted it to be memorable!...I'd love it to be memorable...and that's why I post this little drawing, which I consider one of my most well done and gorgeous digital drawings! Well, this drawing is about that situation! So I'm talking about how I feel, because that was the reason why I made this drawing!! I finished this on January 1, 2011, and it took me 3 days. I drew it because at that time I felt like now, and I tried to paint something to feel better...at that day I wanted to stop the pain in my heart, and I was tinking that maybe my place is not here, maybe I don't belong to here, and I should be in another place...And then I thought on heaven! And it came to my mind this scene, well, a scene of a few people resting peacefully in really beautiful clouds, like if it was in haven, so I loved the idea and I tried to represent the scenen I had in my mind with this little drawing, and a character of mine who is here, resting happy and calm...without aureole, without wings or white clothes or another silly things that people imagine, without the limitations and aches of the body,but MOST important...without worries, without suffereing, without pain in the heart!!! without people hurting you!!!! That's how I imagine heaven!....And at that day, as well as now in this very exactly moment, I'd really love to be there!...to finally can rest peacefully and forget all the pain and trouble...that's why the tittle ^^ I think that's what heaven is for....to rest, and I so much want to rest from this pain now....heaven is...to rest....
Well, I what I love most of this drawing are the colors of the background and clouds, because they're almost like what I imagined in my head (the texture of the brushes that my mentor gave me was very useful!) also I'm pretty proud of the lights in the character skin, and her hair. Oh and if you noticed it, this is my very first drawing of this kind, where I draw bare skin!
(I made a rhyme! 
) It's something very bold for me since even if some time of my life I drew life drawing, I never posted these kind of drawings here because I always was somewhat afraid of what people could say, since my classmates in my school always made fun of people who drew the human figure, and I thought that maybe the people here would dislike this art or they might make fun of it....you know, people who ignore that human figure is so beautiful! And there are many people who ignore that because our society is supporting the wrong idea about the human figure being something unconfortable or bad, or shameful! And that is not true!!! Also this is a conceptual art! Because it's the way I like to represent heaven! the way I imagined it!I would have liked to write something more about my ideas concerning with the concept of people about human body, I wanted to post this in better circumstances, now now that I can't remember the other think I was going to say
But I didn't wanted to lost the opportunity to post a piece of art of something in wich I really believe! And I hope the people who like my art can appreciate this, and see this for what it is, a piece of art!! I know you guys are cultured, and you all will appreciated it!....Oh hey!!!....you know, that made me felt better actually!! ^^ To write this description to you and post this, it always makes me feel better to write what the ideas and feelings involved in my art to you folks ^^ And I want you all to know it always was the greatest pleasure of my life to share my art and ideas and feelings with you all!! I love you a lot and I really appreciate all your coments and faves!!! thanks to you I feel better!
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Comments: 37
Awwwwwwwwwwwwww thank you! ^ _ ^
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Ah, el amor... Espero que ya se haya solucionado tu problema con él, y que 4 meses más tarde, las heridas, si quedaron, hayan comenzado a sanar.
En cuanto a tu dibujo/pintura, ¿por dónde empezar? ^^
Primero que nada, contrastes, complementarios creo? Geniales! Adoro la paleta de colores que elegiste aquí. Transmiten una sensacion de calidez y relajamiento, al menos a mi. El tratamiento qeu haces de la luz me encanta, y ese matiz medio tostado de la piel en relacion a un fondo de similar gradación, se perdería si no fuera por la luz y bueno, el contraste con el púrpura (mi color favorito aunque... realmente no puedo casarme solo con un color XD ).
El cabello se ve genial, todo eso en conjunto creo que en mi, activa mi sensibilidad táctil, ya que has logrado transmitir muy muy bien esa sensación de sedosidad.
Mi única crítica, es hacia la mano, tiene un lugar privilegiado en la obra, ya que segun lo veo yo, en ese sector de la composición termina concentrándose la atención: es un punto visual fuerte, y al serlo, yo esperaba una resolución anatómica un poco más (si me permites decirlo) correcta?. Será que le doy mucha importancia a las manos desde lo artístico. Una vez un gran dibujante y mentor me dijo algo que su vez, a él se lo había dicho otro artista: Las manos, como los ojos, pueden reflejar el alma del artista, y su complejidad. Y es cierto que las manos son una parte compleja de nuestra anatomía, por eso las encuentro tan fascinantes.
En "tu mano", solo me hace ruido el hecho de que el dedo del medio se ve como más grueso en relación al meñique y el anular, pero tambien es cierto que mentalmente al verlo tiendo a crear en mi mente la ilusión de que también es visible en esa mano el dedo índice, entonces lo que estoy viendo en realidad son los dedos del medio e índice juntos. Pero hey, ya me compliqué mucho la crítica ^^U Lo siento.
Con respecto al estudio de la anatomía y la figura humana desde un punto de vista artístico, soy admirador de artistas como Schiele, Kokoschka, Klimt que lograron plasmar la figura humana en ilustraciones tan desenfadadas y espontaneas que... yo quisiera llegar a plasmar el cuerpo humano de esa forma. Pero, hasta ahora solo he usado lo que hay en mi mente, sin embargo considero que tambien es una herramienta importante la de los modelos reales, ya que hay cosas que nuestra mente no puede visualizar y que una persona puede exponer. Uno generalmente no dibuja lunares o pecas en los cuerpos, o esas pequeñas imperfecciones que hacen del cuerpo humano único y bello. Y bueno, ya me metería en otro tema que es el del autorretrato y la representación de uno mismo en papel, algo que tambien encuentro fascinante y te juro que algun dia me encantaria hacer una recopilacion o escribir un libro al respecto sobre este tipo de autorretratos..
Oh, tus comentarios son épicamente extensos!! Adoro los comentarios así! Aunque cuando están en inglés se me dificultan un poquito 
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Wow! Cielos! Que increible comentario fue este! 
verdad!! 
Primero que nada, debo decirte sinceramente que lamento mucho no haber respondido mucho antes 
Asi que si, si hablamos del mismo idioma
Bueno en lo personal yo le pongo mucha atencion a las manos, y generalmente yo las hago bien, pero el dia que hize esa pintura no tenia mucha inspiracion, asi que no tuve la motivaction para terminar de hacerla y la deje asi 
Especilamente porque para las manos se necesita mucha motivacion, y tambien para los pies, porque son unas de las cosas mas dificiles de la anatomia humana. Yo los pies fue lo ultimo que aprendí a dibujar! Hace algunos años atrás incluso no los hacia tan bien
Tal vez un dia haga un re-drawing de este concepto y me salga mejor 
Y pues muchas gracias por el entusiasmo que has mostrado a cerca de los colores de la piel y del fondo que use. A mi me fascinan dibujar y pintar atardeceres 
A mi me llama la atencion el estilo de Klimt por su uso de los colores, creo que es muy interesante. Y en lo personal me gustan los retratos espontaneos, y en general dibujar la figura humana de una manera esponanea, causal, y es cierto que los modelos reales ayudan mucho
Y auque no he tenido la suerte de que alguien quiera posar para mi, a veces he usado referencias para poses de fotos o pinturas que vienen de algunos artistas de aqui, yo admiro a muchos de ellos, especilamente los que son buenos con la anatomia humana, como and , deberías echarle un ojo a lo que han hecho, es realmente increible!
Francamente yo soy mas fan de los artistas de aqui que de los que estan en los museos :rolf:
Y si es cierto, a veces nos olvidamos de añadir las imperfeccione como pecas o lunares, aunque yo a veces se las pongo porque creo que eso hace a la persona un poco mas intersante
Ah y sobre los comentarios en inglés, bueno es que generalmente no viene gente de mexico u otro país de habla hispana, y a veces no tengo tiempo de escribir en los dos idiomas, asi que le doy prioridad a la gente que es leal a mi, mis amigos y mis "watchers", y ellos son de habla inglésa. Hay gente de habla hispana que he conocido aqui y dice que son mis amigos pero realmente no se interesan en mi, se aparecen "como peatones" es decir, te los cruzas una vez para no volverlos a ver, o se hacen amigos tuyos y te comentan un rato y luego
ya no los vuelves a ver, y para mi eso es triste, yo sufro
Yo creo que lo justo es que yo sea leal a quien me lee y ve mi arte. Además he visto que los latinos son flojos para leer
Asi que si, si me traes mas gente que hable español a los que les guste comentar con algo más que un monosilabo y leer lo que el artista escribe, si yo veo que de verdad estan interesados, tal vez me esfuerze mas for hacer el comentario en Inglés y español
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Me puso muy feliz recibir respuesta de aquel mensaje que te había escrito. Mucho más el saber que a ti te ayudó a sentirte mejor en algunos momentos el hecho de leerlo.
¡Sigamos escribiendo jugosos comentarios entretenidos de leer y que nos hagan sentir bien! *3* Ojalá más gente lo hiciera.
Adoro las pecas!! y pensar que a esos detalles uno los conocen generalmente como "imperfecciones", pero son todo lo contrario. Que lindo tener la sensibilidad orientada a notar esos hermosos detalles del cuerpo humano.
Con respecto a los amigos peatones, si, te entiendo porque yo estoy lleno de esos... Y no está mal que estén osea, son circunstanciales, más no condicionales, y no se puede contar mucho con ellos.
Recuerdo que habías escrito un journal largo sobre algunos temas personales que tenías con tu familia... Lo leí muchas veces... te escribí una nota pero ya no recuerdo si te la envié. Creo que si... tengo el recuerdo de haber sentido una gran empatía con lo que te pasó en esos momentos, y que incluso si hubiera podido ofrecerte mi casa para que estuvieras un tiempo de "retiro" a toda esa situación que estabas viviendo, lo habría hecho.
Busqué si existió esa note más que en mi mente, (o como borrador) y me sorprendió ver que el sistema de mensajes de dA te indica cuáles notas fueron leídas y cuales nunca lo fueron... Un dibujo para un concurso del club de Misty de Pokemon que envíe hace 7 años jamás fue leído
Pero no encontré una nota sobre eso... tal vez te contesté en el mismo journal como un comment... Tal vez nunca lo hice... o alomejor ya me habías respondido y no lo recuerdo... Como sea, sólo recuerda que me gusta estar dispuesto a ayudar a quienes lo necesiten, o simplemente a prestar el oído o los ojos a alguien que quiera conversar o escribir catársis. Eso te incluye a ti, claro está.
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Muchas gracias!!
Me alegra mucho saber que te gusto, en especial porque este es mi primer desnudo, y estaba un poco nerviosa de ponerlo porque creí que no habia salido muy bien....o peor aun, pensaba que la gente iba a hacer escandalo por no habia dibujado desnudos antes
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jajajaja te entiendo perfedtamente! yo desee dibujar y fotografiar desnudos desde ke esteba en la secundaria pero nunca me atrevi por miedo a ke pensaran ke era un enfermo jajjajaja pero hace poco me dije, ke carajo! amo el arte y amo el cuerpo humano! son hermosos y no me voy a kedar con las ganas por puro miedo a lo ke la gente ignorante piense asi ke me anime 
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Oh wow en serio!
Pero yo no busco modelos para dibujar, ya que en primera soy muy mala copiando de otro lugar
Este por ejemplo es un personaje mio!
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Oh ya veo, yo creo que es genial practicar con referencias, yo en lo personal no las uso muy a menudo, pero creo que aqui hay muchas fotos muy bonitas con las cuales practicar, tal vez deberias buscar!
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si ya tengo bastantes pero tengo algunas ideas especificas de poses y modelos ke kiero por eso prefiero buscar entre mis conocidos y conocidas por alguien ke se anime
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wow en serio?! 
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xD lo se pero tengo algunas buenas amigas bastante abiertas y ke ademas me conocen y me tienen confianza y ps mi amgo el es emm asi como ke medio vanidoso y exhibisionista jajaja por eso se apunto xD
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Haa No puede ser que no le comente D: D: Wahh que distraida Dx
Bueno la verdad esta pero si genial tu dibujo :3 es muy expresivo y genial! amo los colores ^^ Y la chica es bonita
Todo esta perfecto! x3 x3
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Awww muchisimas gracias!! Me alegra mucho que te haya gustado!!^^
La chica es un personaje mio, es decir un personaje que yo invente
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Awwee de nada ^^ Pos claro
Awwww es linda :3 ¿tiene nombre?
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i want to draw like you, but i cant be you and have your great abilities.
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thanks so much mate!!
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A very beautifull drawing, especially the clouds and the serene expression.
Please keep posting these wonderfull drawings and photographs, sometimes they make ME feel better
You have a great personality and it's much better to see the good in people than only seeing the bad
( I hope I didn't say something wrong in my comment on your journal, if I did I'm really sorry 
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Awwwwwwwwwwww wowie thanks a lot my friend!
I'm always happy when I hear my artwork can make someone feel good! ^^
And specially thanks a lot for believing it's a quality to try and see the good side on stuff that happens, and on people too. People usually tell me that it isn't, that it is a bad personality trait, but I've always though it is a good think though
And no, you never have said anything bad, don't worry
Hope you're having a good weekend
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I sincerely hope this is not your last gift to us! I know it's tough, but you've got to persevere! At least now you know you haven't missed your great opportunity. Try to regain your glowing soul, if posting journals online are the way to do it, then do what you can. Maybe you can talk to someone at church or at school? Like a councilor? I'd hate to see your beautiful talent fade away!
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thanks so much my dear!!!!! 
Yeah it was really tough what happened when he send me the last note...and the most weird think (it's I wrote a note to him, ANOTHER note still lovely!!) to give him a "last chance" and he didn't replied it, so it seems like it was his choice not to be near me, and he never loved me actually, even as a friend...but well, I think I'll never be 100 % sure if he's was my soul-mate and I lost my chance or not...Although Faik thinks other thing, Faik said that I made the right thing and that he was not my soul-mate after all....but well, right now I don't want to talk about that, I prefer to enjoy this time with you now I feel better, and to enjoy the people’s positive response to this drawing, and also the fact I just sold my first print!
Now I feel better, and you know, something amazing is, posting this drawing here literally saved my life, because I thought this pic probably wouldn't like to people, and it was such really amazing surpirse!! Because it was one of the drawings I never would dare to show the people in my life in "normal conditions", it was just when I thought that trouble with that boy will be my downfall (due my physical damage, or because I'd lose my sanity and doing something stupid) was the time where I actually took the courage to post this here (since this was a pic I'll never planned to post, it was just for my own amusement, because I didn't wanted to be object of mockery or bad words from people, like many people here are) and the most amazing thing was that people loved it!!!
So, it was the most wonderful surprise I ever had!!! Cos it made me to see indeed there are people here who really appreciates me, who needs me and who appreciate what I am and what I do!!! People who really love what I DO and who appreciate me for what I am! there are pleople out there saying my art actually makes them feel better!!!!
And my friend, I really want to thank you so much every and each second of your time that you gave to listen to me and support me in this situation!!! 
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I am proud of you, because you've suffered through so much and you are still trying to balance other people's feelings with your own. You've been really brave through all this trouble and I'm very excited to see it behind you, I hope you can leave it all by the side of the road and carry on stronger because of it. Posting this picture was a great first step! Keep going! And remember, I look at all your art. Sometimes I don't comment because of one reason or another, but I do look and it's always lovely!
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Awwwwwwwwwww merci merci beaucoup!!
I'm so glad that you think such amazingthings about me! I really needed to hear it at that moment, and still now! Specially since there have been a couple of mean people who have almost made me doubt of myself at times, telling me that I was a bad person just because they had their inner problems and wanted to vent them on me, or just cos they were crazy and got mad cos I didn't do exactly what they wanted.
I know I have told you this a couple of times before But I feel like one more time wouldn't be bad 
I always read your comments, all the comments you have made in my art, I re-read them from time to time, and when I do I feel true happiness, faith and hope! :,D I feel faith in myself and the fact that I'm a good person, and thanks to you I don't let people to make me feel in doubt of that!
Also, it's the same to me my friend, I always look at your art 
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Okay, I adore the way you do skin and hair in you pictures. This image is absolutely astounding. I love it. It's so serene.
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thanks so much mate!! A serene scene is what I tried to post!
ALso, I'm so glad to see that people here likes my drawings, specially THIS drawing because it's the first one where I present human anatomy in it!
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1.- WHAT??? PERO QUE ES ESTO???...
UNA VALIOSA OBRA DE ARTE!!!
(ah verda'? xDDD).
2.- Autsilio, traduction please!
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Muchas gracias amigo! Me alegra verte de nuevo por aqui!
Yo habia contestado mis mensajes porque me tuve que ir un tiempo, es que resulta que el tipo del que me habia enamorado, del que te conte, me hizo mucho daño, el me encontro en dA, aqui, y me dijo muchas cosas muy crueles!! 
Bueno si, es una obra de arte conceptual que hice sobre como me imagino que seria el cielo, y bueno, la verdad es que no me imagino que es como en las peliculas donde les ponen ropas blancas y alas a las personas y cosas asi
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No te preocupes Atrix, lo importante es que ya estas mejor, es un gusto el saber eso.
Abacho!!!
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Aww muchas gracias!!!
Y como estas tu? las cosas estan mejor ahora? Si quieres hablar de algo no dudes en mandarme una nota, en tanto llegue mi confirmacion de mail te enviare la direccion, es que al final hize otro
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Ok, prefiero platicar en tiempo real (xDD).
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Ooh. Yo creo que lo que hiciste no estuvo mal, sino fue algo que cualquiera deberia hacer y que de hecho casi nadie hace :/ por ser dificil o simplemente por que no se atreven
Y por otro lado... creo que tambien fue bueno... No se, es mejor intentar y fallar que no hacer nada y quedarse con remordimientos el resto de la vida, preguntandonos que hubiera pasado.
Y pues... si el no se dio cuenta de lo mucho que vales entonces mereces alguien mejor
Gah! D: ya no se que mas decir
y perdon si no he estado viniendo tan seguido, es que ando algo ocupadita con la escuela
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Awwwwwwwwwwwww muchas gracias!!!
Ah si, tienes mucha razón, es mejor haber intentado que quedarse preguntandose que hubiera pasado
Y no te preocupes, yo se que la escuela quita tiempo, pero pues a larga te va a servir de mucho, asi que echale ganas y suerte!
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