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Hi there folks! How are you doing?
I...I...I....I don't know what to say my buddies! I'm very ashamed! cos many of you guys made me feel overwhelmed with your gestures of appreciation and admiration, and I STILL can't reply many of your messages! Because I don't know how to get rid of this situation with this dude, I'm...This situation is so frustrating!!! So sad!!!...It is eating me alive!!! and I feel trapped!! because any option I think off doesn't work; it would hurt me to talk with him and be with him again, it hurts me not to talk him because I think he's in trouble and I have to help him...but I know if I talk with him again I'll lost my sanity and I'll end doing something bad or silly...and I'm so...frustrated and disappointed, about life...about what I thought it was true because now it seems it's not true what I thought...for example I always believed Love doesn't have to be complicated! That it shouldn't be complicated or hard!!....But you can't avoid seeing it complicated or being in a complicated situation if the other person (because loves is of 2) who you love makes it incredibly complicated and silly!! ....I mean of course it's not but you know, sometimes people is thinking on some other things and they don't realize what they have! so that's WHY they miss their opportunity to find true love! Sometimes you don't want to lose you opportunity, you don't want to lose your soulmate, sometimes you are sure that you found your soulmate! but it seems you don't have any option or choice because it's the other person who doesn't want to realize that he or she found the true love with you!!! And that is SO frustrating and heartbreaking...when that person doesn't realize it...because that person who you love lose his chance to find true love with FREE WILL!!! But you....you don't!! You cannot choice!!! cos the other person choose for you and choose the bad or the worse option, and with that they makes you to lose your chance to be truly happy too, when you DIDN'T want to lose it!!!...I think that's terribly unfair....because you can't chose!! It's not your choice! That's what makes those situations so frustrating....That IS what makes love complicated...the people who have the concept that love is like that!!!
You know... people always look for the true love! But when they finally find it they are scary of it....they don't think it's real so they don't want to take a risk and try it....but what it happens if you do?! What happens if you discover that chance?!!! It's so awfully bad when people don't want to try because you are doing your best effort to try to be happy and to see the light in the middle of the darkness!!! To give support and help to the other person, and when that person doesn't want to realize they find the true love with you....you...you CANNOT do anything....you just stand there like a dummy...wondering...what you did wrong?......Or why are you here then??!!!!....Why are you here if you were always looking for that dream, and when you found it it happens the person that you love and who love you doesn't see it!!!...You know what...I don't understand this people, I don't understand why people are so afraid of being happy, so much that when they notice something happy they just avoid it thinking "it's too good to be real! So it can't be!" Most of people think so, and I just can't get why! ...I don't think so, I always try give a chance to good things that happens! And the "bad ones" are not trouble for me, but opportunities to learn something new!...I firmly believe that's the way people should think! If people could think a bit more positively, this world wouldn't be so complicated, and love relationships wouldn't be complicated too!...I dont' know if I'm talkig about this because Valentine's day is comming...or it's just because that's what I'm thinking in this very right moment ....That's how I felt....
But what makes me feel more frustrated is the fact I'm not able to reply my messages here or draw or pain again!! In this month I haven't drawn anything actually, except from my drawing "Heaven is to rest" and now everythime I see my inbox and I want to write something for my few friends here...I realize that I have a blank mind! ): And I don't know what I was going to write in the first place...Also I'm not sure if I did the right thing the past days...I mean, I was in so much pain, I risked my own emotional mental and phisical health! I put aside my job, my house chores (my father beated me because I forgot the chores) all my projects of new art and comis I was going to post here!...and most important, I didn't payed attention to my few friends, and they're who I really deserve my attention!!....My love!!!...And now I think about it...I felt like I did the wrong thing....I felt I gave my soul and heart to someone who doesn't deserve it.....but I'm not sure if that is true..and in any case I don't know how to fix it...I don't know how to avoid this bad situation....I don't know how to make things go well....
And I don't know what to reply you guys!! I feel so embarassed because I'm not able to reply my dear Mentor's comments and notes either...I try I try really! but I can't write anything...Cos right now I feel like in the limbo.....I feel my physical structure is here but my soul is not, I feel like my soul (with my mind also, of course) is in the limbo waiting to be tried, and my heart is numb and I can feel anything...I feel nothing...like if I had no soul now...some of you had feel that way??...hopefully not a sign that I'm losing my spirit, because if I'm I'll end like Randall in Monster's Inc., or worse, like Hal in Megamind the movie ..."expoding" and doing something crazy, out of my willing! something I don't want to do! Something I never would do in my sanity! Because as my friend Pitbulllady told me yesterday, there's a limit of how much pain a person can take....and I already far exceeded mine since some days ago!....now I'm stil here because God it's mercyful, but I feel trapped and frustrated and out of strenghth....and now I'm writting here because I see how my trouble it's affecting to you guys and I want to say I'm so sorry...you deserve more from me! You deserve to see cheerful art here! Deserve a happy news!!...You deserve an encouraging comment according to MY personality, to my beliefs!!!
I deserve it!!! I don't wanna be depressed or sad or angry or frustrated.... cos I've always believed that my mission in this world is to make honor, to bring happiness!! To show compassion!!! to make people feel better with my art!...
That's why I decided to post today a pic of Wilt from Foster's! Because that's exactly what Wilt does!! He comes here to bring happiness, to show compassion and to be a friend!!! He helps the people who is rejected and neglected due their differences, by making them to find their best qualities and talents!! Their "inner goodness" as people usually call it! He's compassionate and kindhearted and he sees the good side of everyone because he comes here to guide people to find their talent and their mission in this world!! That IS his mission in this world, that is mine too!...That's why he's my hero! And I hope someday I can be like him!!....And I hope that posting this here can make you guys feel good, like I'm now I'm talkig about Wilt with you here! ....That's what I love to do, to make you feel good!! So I chose this little drawing I made on 2008 (see the date in the drawing) of Wilt and a character of mine who is his friend in my fanfic, because this pic it's very cheerful and cozy and it shows compassion and frienship! And it always amazes me a lot the fact when I draw or post something cheerful, when I make people feel good...I call that same powerful energy and I feel better myself!!! For example right now I feel way better!
Well...I don't remember much of what part of my fanfic is this scene, since it's been so long since I tried to make a fanfic, and I just wrote a fragment of chapter 2 of the foster's Home one the one I posted here...but I remember that in this pic the girl who is my character wants to come out and suddenly it starts to rain, and then Wilt noticed she's in the rain and comes with and umbrella I'm pretty pleased with this drawing (even if the girl here seems to be a kid, I think I didn't made the scale well ) due the expressions, because they came out very warm and cheery, just like I love the expressions to be! Specially wilts one!! In this drawing Wilt's expression glows with the power of thousand suns!!! And I think it does make justice of Wilt's real smile and expression! ....
You know, since I met Wilt I always longed to find a soulmate with his personality, a really giving, self-sacrificing and caring and compassionate soul like him! And now well...I think I'm posthing this, and saying this because I'm trying to go back to that....to the momment I tought I had the chance to find my soul-mate and the true love!...I want my soul-mate being like wilt!! And well...Now I think about it well...maybe I still haven't found it...and that means I haven't lose my chance to love....after all ......

Description
Hi there folks! How are you doing?
I...I...I....I don't know what to say my buddies! I'm very ashamed! cos many of you guys made me feel overwhelmed with your gestures of appreciation and admiration, and I STILL can't reply many of your messages! Because I don't know how to get rid of this situation with this dude, I'm...This situation is so frustrating!!! So sad!!!...It is eating me alive!!! and I feel trapped!! because any option I think off doesn't work; it would hurt me to talk with him and be with him again, it hurts me not to talk him because I think he's in trouble and I have to help him...but I know if I talk with him again I'll lost my sanity and I'll end doing something bad or silly...and I'm so...frustrated and disappointed, about life...about what I thought it was true because now it seems it's not true what I thought...for example I always believed Love doesn't have to be complicated! That it shouldn't be complicated or hard!!....But you can't avoid seeing it complicated or being in a complicated situation if the other person (because loves is of 2) who you love makes it incredibly complicated and silly!! ....I mean of course it's not but you know, sometimes people is thinking on some other things and they don't realize what they have! so that's WHY they miss their opportunity to find true love! Sometimes you don't want to lose you opportunity, you don't want to lose your soulmate, sometimes you are sure that you found your soulmate! but it seems you don't have any option or choice because it's the other person who doesn't want to realize that he or she found the true love with you!!! And that is SO frustrating and heartbreaking...when that person doesn't realize it...because that person who you love lose his chance to find true love with FREE WILL!!! But you....you don't!! You cannot choice!!! cos the other person choose for you and choose the bad or the worse option, and with that they makes you to lose your chance to be truly happy too, when you DIDN'T want to lose it!!!...I think that's terribly unfair....because you can't chose!! It's not your choice! That's what makes those situations so frustrating....That IS what makes love complicated...the people who have the concept that love is like that!!!
You know... people always look for the true love! But when they finally find it they are scary of it....they don't think it's real so they don't want to take a risk and try it....but what it happens if you do?! What happens if you discover that chance?!!! It's so awfully bad when people don't want to try because you are doing your best effort to try to be happy and to see the light in the middle of the darkness!!! To give support and help to the other person, and when that person doesn't want to realize they find the true love with you....you...you CANNOT do anything....you just stand there like a dummy...wondering...what you did wrong?......Or why are you here then??!!!!....Why are you here if you were always looking for that dream, and when you found it it happens the person that you love and who love you doesn't see it!!!...You know what...I don't understand this people, I don't understand why people are so afraid of being happy, so much that when they notice something happy they just avoid it thinking "it's too good to be real! So it can't be!" Most of people think so, and I just can't get why! ...I don't think so, I always try give a chance to good things that happens! And the "bad ones" are not trouble for me, but opportunities to learn something new!...I firmly believe that's the way people should think! If people could think a bit more positively, this world wouldn't be so complicated, and love relationships wouldn't be complicated too!...I dont' know if I'm talkig about this because Valentine's day is comming...or it's just because that's what I'm thinking in this very right moment ....That's how I felt....
But what makes me feel more frustrated is the fact I'm not able to reply my messages here or draw or pain again!! In this month I haven't drawn anything actually, except from my drawing "Heaven is to rest" and now everythime I see my inbox and I want to write something for my few friends here...I realize that I have a blank mind! ): And I don't know what I was going to write in the first place...Also I'm not sure if I did the right thing the past days...I mean, I was in so much pain, I risked my own emotional mental and phisical health! I put aside my job, my house chores (my father beated me because I forgot the chores) all my projects of new art and comis I was going to post here!...and most important, I didn't payed attention to my few friends, and they're who I really deserve my attention!!....My love!!!...And now I think about it...I felt like I did the wrong thing....I felt I gave my soul and heart to someone who doesn't deserve it.....but I'm not sure if that is true..and in any case I don't know how to fix it...I don't know how to avoid this bad situation....I don't know how to make things go well....
And I don't know what to reply you guys!! I feel so embarassed because I'm not able to reply my dear Mentor's comments and notes either...I try I try really! but I can't write anything...Cos right now I feel like in the limbo.....I feel my physical structure is here but my soul is not, I feel like my soul (with my mind also, of course) is in the limbo waiting to be tried, and my heart is numb and I can feel anything...I feel nothing...like if I had no soul now...some of you had feel that way??...hopefully not a sign that I'm losing my spirit, because if I'm I'll end like Randall in Monster's Inc., or worse, like Hal in Megamind the movie ..."expoding" and doing something crazy, out of my willing! something I don't want to do! Something I never would do in my sanity! Because as my friend Pitbulllady told me yesterday, there's a limit of how much pain a person can take....and I already far exceeded mine since some days ago!....now I'm stil here because God it's mercyful, but I feel trapped and frustrated and out of strenghth....and now I'm writting here because I see how my trouble it's affecting to you guys and I want to say I'm so sorry...you deserve more from me! You deserve to see cheerful art here! Deserve a happy news!!...You deserve an encouraging comment according to MY personality, to my beliefs!!!
I deserve it!!! I don't wanna be depressed or sad or angry or frustrated.... cos I've always believed that my mission in this world is to make honor, to bring happiness!! To show compassion!!! to make people feel better with my art!...
That's why I decided to post today a pic of Wilt from Foster's! Because that's exactly what Wilt does!! He comes here to bring happiness, to show compassion and to be a friend!!! He helps the people who is rejected and neglected due their differences, by making them to find their best qualities and talents!! Their "inner goodness" as people usually call it! He's compassionate and kindhearted and he sees the good side of everyone because he comes here to guide people to find their talent and their mission in this world!! That IS his mission in this world, that is mine too!...That's why he's my hero! And I hope someday I can be like him!!....And I hope that posting this here can make you guys feel good, like I'm now I'm talkig about Wilt with you here! ....That's what I love to do, to make you feel good!! So I chose this little drawing I made on 2008 (see the date in the drawing) of Wilt and a character of mine who is his friend in my fanfic, because this pic it's very cheerful and cozy and it shows compassion and frienship! And it always amazes me a lot the fact when I draw or post something cheerful, when I make people feel good...I call that same powerful energy and I feel better myself!!! For example right now I feel way better!
Well...I don't remember much of what part of my fanfic is this scene, since it's been so long since I tried to make a fanfic, and I just wrote a fragment of chapter 2 of the foster's Home one the one I posted here...but I remember that in this pic the girl who is my character wants to come out and suddenly it starts to rain, and then Wilt noticed she's in the rain and comes with and umbrella I'm pretty pleased with this drawing (even if the girl here seems to be a kid, I think I didn't made the scale well ) due the expressions, because they came out very warm and cheery, just like I love the expressions to be! Specially wilts one!! In this drawing Wilt's expression glows with the power of thousand suns!!! And I think it does make justice of Wilt's real smile and expression! ....
You know, since I met Wilt I always longed to find a soulmate with his personality, a really giving, self-sacrificing and caring and compassionate soul like him! And now well...I think I'm posthing this, and saying this because I'm trying to go back to that....to the momment I tought I had the chance to find my soul-mate and the true love!...I want my soul-mate being like wilt!! And well...Now I think about it well...maybe I still haven't found it...and that means I haven't lose my chance to love....after all ......