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Description
Tried a story that's a little more wordy, and 2nd person at that, too. Any suggestions or feedback would be greatly appreciated!!

Art: danbooru.donmai.us/posts/43954…

Transcript:
As soon as you enter the dimly lit spa, you are led by the receptionist to a lounge near the entrance, a cup of tea placed in your hands as you are bid to wait for a second. To be honest, you are not sure exactly why you came in here in the first place. Perhaps it was the sign up front, advertising a “transformative experience”... you certainly needed one of those. You take a sip of the tea: it is cool, slightly sweet, with a floral fragrance you cannot quite place. As the receptionist returns you ask her what sort of tea it is, wondering whether the warmth suffusing your body is normal. She smiles, and says it’s to help you relax.
You are brought into a small room, greeted by a masseuse whose amethyst eyes almost seem to glow softly, as if they're drawing in the room's scarce light. "Take off your shirt." Her voice is quiet but forceful and you oblige, seeing no reason to object.You lay face-down on the table, feeling a cool sensation on your back as the masseuse slowly rubs massage oil into her back. "Your muscles are all tensed up; haven't you had the chance to relax?" She kneads your back as she says this, soft cracks sounding as your vertebrae shrinks slightly, aches in your back slowly vanishing as she eases out the crinks in your muscles. "Ahh…" You let out a soft sigh as you feel yourself relax for what seems like the first time in forever, and she giggles softly in response. "Liked that, did you~?" The masseuse applies more oil to your arms, and you can't help but wince a little as you feel her massage a couple of particularly sore spots. "Just relax…" It’s like her words are a magic spell - you feel yourself yielding under her gentle pressure, each squeeze causing your arms to become slender, muscle draining away and replaced by fat. She massages your hands and fingers, slimming them down into delicate, more feminine forms as the ache in your wrists from sitting at a computer all day slowly fades away.
“Feeling okay so far?” You can only nod, finding no reason to complain as she pushes on your back and causes your shoulder blades to crunch inward. Whether this is actually a “transformative experience” remains to be seen… but you cannot deny that you already feel more relaxed, more vitalized than when you had entered the spa in the first place. The masseuse’s hands move downwards to around your waist, reshaping it to become slimmer and more toned with the deftness of a master sculptor with their clay. Maybe it’s because she’s moving further and further down on your body. As you feel your thighs and legs being squeezed by those delicate fingers, filling with fat and gaining an alluring appearance, the member in between your legs starts to stand to attention, pressing up ever so slightly against the bench. She massages your behind in slow, circular movements and it begins to inflate, giving your lower body a curvy hourglass shape, and your penis grows even harder as it is rubbed against the bench. You can’t help but let out a soft moan at the stimulation to your lower body and the masseuse stops, before speaking again with a slight tinge of amusement to her voice. “Turn over.”
You oblige, propping up yourself with one arm before turning around, every muscle in your body aching as if you have been through a strenuous workout, yet it feels right, relaxing somehow. Of course, as you turn around it also means your now-raging erection is in full view, a tent in your pants that immediately catches the masseuse’s eye. She giggles, slowly, slowly running a hand over your erect penis, and you shiver. “Unfortunately, we do not offer that sort of service here~” Without giving you a chance to protest, she pushes down on your member and it shrinks into your body, replaced by a thin slit in between your legs. Some part of you wants to protest this, to say that this is wrong, but the masseuse wastes no time in kneading your chest, eliciting more moans as the sensitive skin there fills out into two perky breasts, the enlarged areolae stiffening as her hand brushes against them delicately. "Almost done now…" She gently massages your face, smoothing the skin and giving you a delicate, feminine appearance, as the colour of your eyes darkens into red. You feel her hands slowly comb through your hair, every stroke taking a longer time as your hair lengthens down your back, slowly taking on a lustrous shade of silver.
“Follow me, my dear~” Now the masseuse is standing by the room’s open door, and you get up and follow her, in a daze. Who are you? What is your name? These questions float through your mind and vanish like the memories of a dream, slowly eroding away at your memory and identity. Eventually, you reach what seems to be an open-air pool, the masseuse standing at the water’s edge and beckoning for you to enter. It is only in the light of day that you see the pointed tips of her ears, poking out slightly amidst her onyx hair; instinctually, you know your ears look very much the same. You wrap a towel around your naked form and slowly wade into the water, its glorious warmth welcoming and embracing you. Your changed form feels so much more sensitive, more attuned to the magic that exists everywhere in the world but you were too blind to notice, and as you slowly submerge yourself in the water, you know there is no other place in the world you’d rather be. A transformative experience, indeed~

Description
Tried a story that's a little more wordy, and 2nd person at that, too. Any suggestions or feedback would be greatly appreciated!!

Art: danbooru.donmai.us/posts/43954…

Transcript:
As soon as you enter the dimly lit spa, you are led by the receptionist to a lounge near the entrance, a cup of tea placed in your hands as you are bid to wait for a second. To be honest, you are not sure exactly why you came in here in the first place. Perhaps it was the sign up front, advertising a “transformative experience”... you certainly needed one of those. You take a sip of the tea: it is cool, slightly sweet, with a floral fragrance you cannot quite place. As the receptionist returns you ask her what sort of tea it is, wondering whether the warmth suffusing your body is normal. She smiles, and says it’s to help you relax.
You are brought into a small room, greeted by a masseuse whose amethyst eyes almost seem to glow softly, as if they're drawing in the room's scarce light. "Take off your shirt." Her voice is quiet but forceful and you oblige, seeing no reason to object.You lay face-down on the table, feeling a cool sensation on your back as the masseuse slowly rubs massage oil into her back. "Your muscles are all tensed up; haven't you had the chance to relax?" She kneads your back as she says this, soft cracks sounding as your vertebrae shrinks slightly, aches in your back slowly vanishing as she eases out the crinks in your muscles. "Ahh…" You let out a soft sigh as you feel yourself relax for what seems like the first time in forever, and she giggles softly in response. "Liked that, did you~?" The masseuse applies more oil to your arms, and you can't help but wince a little as you feel her massage a couple of particularly sore spots. "Just relax…" It’s like her words are a magic spell - you feel yourself yielding under her gentle pressure, each squeeze causing your arms to become slender, muscle draining away and replaced by fat. She massages your hands and fingers, slimming them down into delicate, more feminine forms as the ache in your wrists from sitting at a computer all day slowly fades away.
“Feeling okay so far?” You can only nod, finding no reason to complain as she pushes on your back and causes your shoulder blades to crunch inward. Whether this is actually a “transformative experience” remains to be seen… but you cannot deny that you already feel more relaxed, more vitalized than when you had entered the spa in the first place. The masseuse’s hands move downwards to around your waist, reshaping it to become slimmer and more toned with the deftness of a master sculptor with their clay. Maybe it’s because she’s moving further and further down on your body. As you feel your thighs and legs being squeezed by those delicate fingers, filling with fat and gaining an alluring appearance, the member in between your legs starts to stand to attention, pressing up ever so slightly against the bench. She massages your behind in slow, circular movements and it begins to inflate, giving your lower body a curvy hourglass shape, and your penis grows even harder as it is rubbed against the bench. You can’t help but let out a soft moan at the stimulation to your lower body and the masseuse stops, before speaking again with a slight tinge of amusement to her voice. “Turn over.”
You oblige, propping up yourself with one arm before turning around, every muscle in your body aching as if you have been through a strenuous workout, yet it feels right, relaxing somehow. Of course, as you turn around it also means your now-raging erection is in full view, a tent in your pants that immediately catches the masseuse’s eye. She giggles, slowly, slowly running a hand over your erect penis, and you shiver. “Unfortunately, we do not offer that sort of service here~” Without giving you a chance to protest, she pushes down on your member and it shrinks into your body, replaced by a thin slit in between your legs. Some part of you wants to protest this, to say that this is wrong, but the masseuse wastes no time in kneading your chest, eliciting more moans as the sensitive skin there fills out into two perky breasts, the enlarged areolae stiffening as her hand brushes against them delicately. "Almost done now…" She gently massages your face, smoothing the skin and giving you a delicate, feminine appearance, as the colour of your eyes darkens into red. You feel her hands slowly comb through your hair, every stroke taking a longer time as your hair lengthens down your back, slowly taking on a lustrous shade of silver.
“Follow me, my dear~” Now the masseuse is standing by the room’s open door, and you get up and follow her, in a daze. Who are you? What is your name? These questions float through your mind and vanish like the memories of a dream, slowly eroding away at your memory and identity. Eventually, you reach what seems to be an open-air pool, the masseuse standing at the water’s edge and beckoning for you to enter. It is only in the light of day that you see the pointed tips of her ears, poking out slightly amidst her onyx hair; instinctually, you know your ears look very much the same. You wrap a towel around your naked form and slowly wade into the water, its glorious warmth welcoming and embracing you. Your changed form feels so much more sensitive, more attuned to the magic that exists everywhere in the world but you were too blind to notice, and as you slowly submerge yourself in the water, you know there is no other place in the world you’d rather be. A transformative experience, indeed~