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Hey guys, it's Ayanetrix— or how I would like to be called, "Aki".

I'm just a boy who has been on the Website for several years, even though it's not on just this account.

I remember how frequently I would upload before— and how much I've changed since then. I was really careless, oblivious, sensitive, and just so different back then. I was ""edgy"" in many quotes, without really understanding the fact that I overreacted over and dramaticized small situations.

But, I'm actually, legitamately 13 right now (unlike when I started), and I've grown up since then. I have come to understand that I've made so many mary-sues/gary-stus, that I was a weeb, that I should've accepted constructive critcism, and that I should have really thought a lot more before my actions. And, behind the screen, throughout the year, I've began to find myself more. And I've come to understand what real depression is— and it fucking sucks, and I have to go to therapy for that. Luckily, the woman that's my therapist is young, lively, and really friendly ^^

It's nothing that can be fixed right away. It takes a lot of time. I may seem "eh" right now, but who knows, it might relapse. But, I'm trying to hold onto the positivity while I still have it. I've got my friends somehow, and even after all the shit we've been through, and the bumps in our relationship, we still manage to be friends. Even if it's small-talk, it's always nice. I enjoy that, and it always puts a smile on my face. I thank them for that.

It's helped me through everything. Even if it's just recently. I'm happy I'm recovering from this whole situation. I won't go into detail of what I did or my full emotions on it, especially when it came to things socially, and in regards to eating disorders.

Aside from that, another reason for why I have left for a while was because my excited for DA died down. I've kind of moved on to different websites; i.e. Tumblr, Ao3, etc. I've found myself enjoying being on those sites more, and I've just tried to divert myself from my past self as much as possible, since remembering things I just don't want to remember prevented me from enjoying it as much as I did. Of course, I still love it, and I know the amazing memeories I made (ex. meeting online friends that I have had for 3+ years).

Though, I still can't take back mistakes I've made, and sometimes, there's no way I could make up for them. Even if I try, it still doesn't excuse it.

But, one of the more prevalent reasons is because I've just

—gradually drifted away, because life just happened. To tie this all together (and this applies to the other reasons), life just has been happening. I've been growing up a lot, and I've been experiencing much more, which has lead me to focus on many other things. The fandoms I was once in when I first started (2014-2015), I have long left ((venturiantale, Jeff the Killer (flashbacks to when I called him Onii-Chan. Help me please), Undertale, etc)). I've moved on to different things, and I've actually tried doing a few things by myself, which included studying more (especially on history and cultures), try to learn languages, expanding my interests, and expanding on my skills—not only in art—but in other things (dance, piano, crafting, and others).

Needless to say, so much has happened.

I came back for the sake of the nostalgic feeling, and I just couldn't help but post again. I'm not a different person, I've just changed, but my personality is still me, so don't worry.

I'll try to stay here, and this time, I'll actually try more than I did before.

I hope to make new friends, and meet some old ones once more.

I'm putting my foot down in a familiar place, like going back to a house you moved out of years ago, like the new-owners have invited you in for a visit— giving you that atmospheric vibe that you can't help but remember from the past.

Imagine moving back into that house, a house you missed, but one you have thought you moved on from. That's how I feel now.

And, I hope I'm ready.