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bleusman — Actually Spitting Venom
Published: 2010-03-01 21:35:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 1081; Favourites: 13; Downloads: 7
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Description
The cat is actually spitting venom.It has been fed a diet
of amphetamines, opiates,
and selective serotonin
reuptake inhibitors
which were recommended by our veterinarian
in lieu of sunbeams of affection.
(It's not our fault.)
The sounds escaping its throat
are perversely appropriate.
I called the veterinarian,
but she didn't answer
(she promised by proxy to call back)
so I went to pet the feline
engaging in emesis
but became distracted along the way
by the immaterial nature of
justice. I batted the idea like a string,
a selfish pleasure (like stretching in the sun.)
Ipecac syrup
is contraindicated in animals.
(It's the only thing that is.)
So I sit in my plush chair, sinking
into the indentations left there
watching the cat convulse and hack
green globs of poison. The cat
is actually spitting venom.
(We haven't fed him enough
for it to be our fault alone.)
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Comments: 22
Holy crap. Lot's of awesome imagery here. I thought this was really creative; it was pretty fun to read!
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Thank you; I'm glad you appreciated it.
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Very interesting read, I like the tone of it and the technical references were very nicely placed. I'm not sure I fully understand your meaning behind everything in this piece but I like the overall feel and tone of it, nicely done
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Ooh, I like this. Very, very well done. I feel like the meaning behind this is that we're harming our pets just by having them, due to the last line, doping them with unnatural drugs and all that. It was just amazingly strong.
I do have a few suggestions, though. First, it should be "a diet", not "an diet" (an only comes before a word starting in a vowel). Second, parentheses at the end of a sentence should have the period after the end parentheses. And third, I feel like, to make the repetition of the first line in the last stanza stronger, you should have it start a two-line stanza instead of tacking it on the end of the last. Either that or, if you want to keep it as it is, put 10 lines in the second stanza, since there's only 9 while the other two have 10, and I can't see any obvious reason for that.
Of course, that's really up to you. Great poem, in any case. I really absolutely loved it.
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well, i felt i read it more as a section from a short story or something, than a poem, but it was very good none the less. o.o catches attention, pull syou in so that u don't want to stop reading it, even if it feels out of place... like it's supposed to be, deliberately standing there to catch attention.
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Well thanks a lot. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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This is a nice poem, really.
nice use of medical terms.
btw i hope it's stopped puking now, (if it wasn't imaginary, that is)./
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Don't worry, this isn't an autobiographical poem!
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oh it's all good then..
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Whoa it was really confusing for me at first, sorry, and I still don't catch most of it, i think... (if you are pretending this to be full of symbols).
I DID however seem to get some sarcastic hidden meanings, I hope you WERE trying to convey that.
In all, it's kind of a short thing that shows a very catchy lexical richness to people like me.
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"Pretending" isn't a word I'd use. Thank you for the feedback and I'm glad you liked the richness of it
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I say that because I do not think my opinion is in this case a connoisseur's.
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poor kitteh... ;/ in the begining i imagine this to be some angry apocalyptic mutant feline of doom!
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If my cat was actually actually spitting venom, I'd run for the hills!
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I like this, i'm not sure I follow the complete meaning of the poem itself, but the imagery was wonderful.
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Thanks a lot! I don't know, I feel I didn't use that much imagery in this poem, but I'm glad you liked the stuff that was there.
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