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broken-theory — She..
Published: 2005-12-02 10:42:41 +0000 UTC; Views: 436; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 11
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Description Holding it all inside
Beneath the scarred skin
Her thoughts begin to take sides
Eating away at her soul within
She cant handle it all
Her walls are closing in
Without a sense of confidence
Watching it all fall

One wish, one hope to give it all away
Turn her back and run away
Face her wildest fears and say goodbye
To know the truth but wonder why
She sees it clear, living a lie
Feeling empty without a sight
Sitting alone in sorrow and darkness
Cold, Naked... and heartless
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Comments: 30

Trancendence [2005-12-12 12:22:32 +0000 UTC]

o_o

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broken-theory In reply to Trancendence [2005-12-12 12:23:25 +0000 UTC]

What about it?

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restricted213 [2005-12-07 05:30:31 +0000 UTC]

Very nice. I'm not one for formality, so you won't hear me saying anything about syllable counts or anything like that. I really took a liking to this, I hope the girl finds who/what she needs.

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broken-theory In reply to restricted213 [2005-12-07 06:32:03 +0000 UTC]

Thanks. Yea she will

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restricted213 In reply to broken-theory [2005-12-07 06:53:24 +0000 UTC]

You sure now? You're not god

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broken-theory In reply to restricted213 [2005-12-07 08:17:36 +0000 UTC]

Yea, deffinietly. Everyone should find someone right for them at some stage.
People who don't... are not looking hard enough.

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restricted213 In reply to broken-theory [2006-01-02 16:28:33 +0000 UTC]

Either that, or they weren't meant to.....you have to remember, life can be a bitch hun.

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broken-theory In reply to restricted213 [2006-01-03 00:53:30 +0000 UTC]

Aye yes... that too...

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restricted213 In reply to broken-theory [2006-01-07 21:13:26 +0000 UTC]

*sighs* well, I can honestly say I'm not stuck in that position and hopefully you won't be either (or aren't....whichever applies lol).

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broken-theory In reply to restricted213 [2006-01-08 00:49:49 +0000 UTC]

Nah, I'm not

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restricted213 In reply to broken-theory [2006-01-08 16:42:32 +0000 UTC]

I'm very glad to hear it!^_^

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miche11e [2005-12-07 04:40:46 +0000 UTC]

why am i alwaiz the last to comment?? i hate it..! anytootz, thatz real deep! was there anyone who inspired you to write it?? coz it's really realistic like. i like it ..! comin from a poet wannabee lolz

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broken-theory In reply to miche11e [2005-12-07 05:05:06 +0000 UTC]

Hmm No i dont think there was any inspiriation.
Thanks for the fav+.

Actually started writing one today in commerce, will finish it later tonight.

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LiTTi [2005-12-05 09:41:21 +0000 UTC]

awwww

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fuKtHislOVesHit [2005-12-03 11:00:27 +0000 UTC]

no words...

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broken-theory In reply to fuKtHislOVesHit [2005-12-03 11:53:02 +0000 UTC]

none needed. thanks :d

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ColdContactKiss [2005-12-03 10:53:01 +0000 UTC]

My, oh my--Where did you get that preview image? It looks mighty fine but also very familiar. I do believe someone from dA took it originally, correct? If that's the case (which I'm sure it is), you absolutely must credit her and acknowledge the manipulations; getting her permission first. Otherwise, that's stealing...and that's bad.

As for the poem, the ellipses at the end don't actually add suspense or a heightened dramatic pause. Punctuation would be a nice touch, too. It creates a certain 'snuggly' aura for the reader to fall into. And I do believe you should put this in Fixed because of the obvious rhyme-scheme.

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broken-theory In reply to ColdContactKiss [2005-12-03 11:49:40 +0000 UTC]

ahh shit I dunno about the image, i found it on a random site ages ago.
I'll take it off now.

and thanks for the critique.

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Pugles [2005-12-03 03:30:24 +0000 UTC]

thats beautiful!! omfg i love it so so much. it rocks keep it up!

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broken-theory In reply to Pugles [2005-12-03 11:50:44 +0000 UTC]

Thanks heaps

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Raider2044 [2005-12-02 14:40:58 +0000 UTC]

nice work azz, keep it up.

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misslost [2005-12-02 11:30:32 +0000 UTC]

its great.
my words cant describe it properly

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broken-theory In reply to misslost [2005-12-02 11:31:22 +0000 UTC]

Thanks misslost.

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misslost In reply to broken-theory [2005-12-02 11:34:14 +0000 UTC]

its alright

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Mason-Rose [2005-12-02 11:09:34 +0000 UTC]

Maybe she needs someone to heal her?

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broken-theory In reply to Mason-Rose [2005-12-02 11:31:50 +0000 UTC]

Exactly.

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Mason-Rose In reply to broken-theory [2005-12-02 12:53:22 +0000 UTC]

Has she found it yet?

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broken-theory In reply to Mason-Rose [2005-12-02 22:31:21 +0000 UTC]

Not yet, but they're out there. Right?

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blink182babie [2005-12-02 10:59:29 +0000 UTC]

. I Love it. Everyone else will to. You'll see. <3 Blink xoxox

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broken-theory In reply to blink182babie [2005-12-02 11:32:33 +0000 UTC]

hehe thanks becc.

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