HOME | DD

BuryTheMaid — B Ref

Published: 2012-04-30 23:19:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 1541; Favourites: 20; Downloads: 3
Redirect to original
Description For

Name: Subject B

Alias/Nickname: B

Age: 4 ½ years old (about equivalent of being middle-aged to domrdomrs)

Gender: Male

Species: Domrdomr (original fantasy species)

What was stolen: His health, which has started the onset of pyronecrosis, a fatal condition prevalent in older domrdomrs. This disease causes their body’s heating regulatory system to shut down and very gradually their extremely hot innards corrode their bodies from the inside out.

Abilities:
-Can breathe fire for short amounts of time, though only used in extreme circumstances.

Strengths:
-Sharp teeth and claws (though claws are typically for digging in their natural environment and not scratching)
-Tail and tail “fingers” are prehensile
-Large, rat-like ears give him superb hearing

Weaknesses:
-Fragile skeleton structure
-Spinal Arthritis
-Low stamina

Height/Weight: 10 in. (25.4 cm) / 7 lbs. (3.1 kg) (About the size of a cat)

Personality: More or less obedient, B can be a bit headstrong. Though he is generally aloof to others, after observing them quietly, he shows his friendly side. B is well-behaved and loyal to his friends, though he only has few of them. He does drastic things only if he has no other choice.

History: B was taken as an infant from his family and raised by a human as an experiment to see if domrdomrs could be raised as companion animals. B does not miss his family or remember them, as tamed domrdomrs lose all of their natural-born instincts and cannot socialize with their wild counterparts, hence his aloof nature to most creatures. He was trained to hunt small animals and birds, though he does not feed on them.
When the Thief stole his health, B’s owner abandoned him, considering him useless now that his time is short. Desperately trying to fight back the onset of pyronecrosis, B goes out in search of the hotel that supposedly houses what was stolen from him.

Likes:
-Burrowing/digging
-Spending time in the sun
-Hiding

Dislikes:
-Rain
-the cold


Other:
-his body is hot to the touch (internal body temperature is roughly 176 degrees Fahrenheit/80 degrees Celsius)
-ingests rocks
-teeth are generally strong enough to bite through rock; this is an evolutionary adaptation of his species
-nails were trimmed by owner, but now will eventually grow out again
-symptoms of his condition will develop as the story progresses

________________________________________________

EDIT: Fixed c:

I hope I did everything right ;n;

So this is an OC I’ve had for a while and thought it would be interesting to use for #Lost-and-Found-OCT I did, however, omit some of his complicated markings so he wouldn’t be as strenuous to draw for both myself and others.

As for pyronecrosis, I’ve always had an interest in diseases so I thought it would be especially interesting for a character to be dying gradually throughout the course of a storyline. And LaF’s story seems really exciting! I think it’ll be challenging for me (I haven’t worked on a story like this in a long time), but I think it’ll be worth it. If I get in that is xD Anyway, everyone should really go check out LaF 8D Do it do it do it.

Ahhh I forgot what else I was going to say.

B and pyronecrosis concept ©: =BuryTheMaid
Domrdomr species ©: =BuryTheMaid and ~MumsBu
Related content
Comments: 28

Kaylimepie [2013-06-06 06:31:47 +0000 UTC]

is his face essentially a rats? or is it different in a way im not entirely sure

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BuryTheMaid In reply to Kaylimepie [2013-06-06 06:47:50 +0000 UTC]

Basically, yeah. Larger ears though.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Kaylimepie In reply to BuryTheMaid [2013-06-06 07:24:35 +0000 UTC]

alright cool.
thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

DarkTail67 [2012-07-31 20:39:04 +0000 UTC]

Belated comment! Yay! Even though I'd already read the ref, must be because I had nothing of interest to say atm or couldn't find the words and wanted them :'D

Anywho, this guy is adorable D: I swear, that word is starting to lose meaning by the day due to all the adorable entrants pff XD But yeah, I love him <3

Him and the disease idea, and pff why are there no more pages yet fffffffff D:

...I want to see more of him in the LaF storyline. Pretty please? :<

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BuryTheMaid In reply to DarkTail67 [2012-08-07 04:10:13 +0000 UTC]

Aww thanks a lot xD everything seems to think he's adorable lol

Ugh there are no more pages because so many things have been going on with my life lately that now I'm not even sure if I'll be able to finish. And if I do, it'll be in literature form because it's faster and easier for me :/

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DarkTail67 In reply to BuryTheMaid [2012-08-07 04:17:10 +0000 UTC]

I see :<

For what it's worth I feel your pain, which is why I'm teaming up instead of going solo :'3 but hey, good news are, you've still got two more weeks' time, and the host is aiming for a 64 competitor roster. Which means you might just make it in still ;3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BuryTheMaid In reply to DarkTail67 [2012-08-07 04:24:52 +0000 UTC]

Oh sweet :"D well maybe I will OTL

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

DarkTail67 In reply to BuryTheMaid [2012-08-07 04:37:09 +0000 UTC]

You totes should <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BuryTheMaid In reply to DarkTail67 [2012-08-07 20:46:10 +0000 UTC]

I'll try my best :"D

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

CorvusRaven [2012-05-05 03:26:21 +0000 UTC]

I love his face c:

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BuryTheMaid In reply to CorvusRaven [2012-05-05 03:27:34 +0000 UTC]

xD thank you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

AmiliaLongTail [2012-05-04 03:24:01 +0000 UTC]

Aw, the Thief stole his health? That devious fiend! But I think that's very clever, nice job~

Best of luck to you! ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BuryTheMaid In reply to AmiliaLongTail [2012-05-04 03:26:36 +0000 UTC]

Haha yup xD thanks!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Alcalius [2012-05-03 21:05:23 +0000 UTC]

Those. Ears. So cute. Such an interesting design, I really like it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BuryTheMaid In reply to Alcalius [2012-05-03 21:13:36 +0000 UTC]

xD Thanks!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

AlfaFilly [2012-05-03 20:45:40 +0000 UTC]

Awww, those ears are way adorable~
Really intriguing aspect of his disease, the health of which being what was stolen. This is going to be quite interesting seeing him in the tournament! Best of luck!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BuryTheMaid In reply to AlfaFilly [2012-05-03 21:04:07 +0000 UTC]

Thank you c:

And yes, I thought his disease (which I had already come up with for his species), would be unique aspect in a tournament setting. And thanks again!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Cloudbat [2012-05-03 12:47:44 +0000 UTC]

Love his design and his disease! He is absolutely adorable.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BuryTheMaid In reply to Cloudbat [2012-05-03 20:58:23 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much! x3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Cloudbat In reply to BuryTheMaid [2012-05-03 21:00:42 +0000 UTC]

Welcome~

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

goudanewt [2012-05-01 07:07:02 +0000 UTC]

Hello, I'm with LaF, here to drop off a review.

Heads up, collapsible skeletons are actually an urban legend: [link] We could count it as a power/ability but you've already got too many powers, we're actually going to have to ask you to choose from the ones you have. Breathing fire, spewing rocks, and collapsible skeletons make for too many abilities. Please pick one.

There also needs to be a bit of revision to the weaknesses.

"Slowly deteriorating long-term internal health" would've worked but directly ties in with B's powers, making it more of an ability limitation than a physical weakness. Ability limitations are when a character has a power but suffers or has drawbacks from said powers. The problem with that is, they still have powers, which is something more then all us powerless joes can say. Having ability limitations is fine but we can't count it as a weakness, we're looking for physical weaknesses.

"Extreme sensitivity to cold" is one of those weaknesses that's unlikely to come up. It's along the same vein as "inability to swim". It's also not much use to an opponent, most opponents don't have ice/cold/snow/whatever powers and won't have any clue how to use that weakness.

"Fragile skeleton structure" works fine, nothing wrong there.

"Poor night vision" falls under the category of "normal functions of life". Not all creatures have good night vision, a statement like "poor night vision" assumes good night vision is the norm which isn't necessarily true.

"Has to eat constantly to keep his furnace-like stomach going" is an ability limitation as discussed above.

If you'd like some suggests for weaknesses, we'd be glad to help.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BuryTheMaid In reply to goudanewt [2012-05-02 09:02:37 +0000 UTC]

Oh, sorry about that. I didn't realize it was an urban legend. I guess I'll choose breathing fire as his ability then. And yes, now that I think about it, his other weaknesses don't really work.

What about "abnormally high body temperature which causes him to overheat easily"? So he wouldn't be able to do strenuous things (i.e. running fast, fighting, etc.) for too long. Or does that fall under ability limitations too?
Also, how about "low stamina"?
And since his body is long, he could have spinal arthritis too.
I could also get rid of "flexibility" as a strength to further even out his strengths and weaknesses.
Do you have any other suggestions?

I don't entirely agree with you about the deteriorating health though. It's not directly tied in with his powers. Yes, the disease he has now is caused by his stomach which grants his abilities, but it will gradually worsen his physical condition. Eventually it'll be painful for him to even move, which would be a weakness. Maybe I wasn't clear enough on that. But if you still consider it an ability limitation, I suppose there's nothing I can do about that. I'm not trying to discredit your opinion or be offensive or anything, but I thought I should just try to clear that up a little.
Otherwise, thank you for your feedback! C:

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goudanewt In reply to BuryTheMaid [2012-05-03 05:10:32 +0000 UTC]

"Abnormally high body temperature which causes him to overheat easily" is a bit confusing because it seems to contradict his ability which is to breathe fire.

"Low stamina" and "spinal arthritis" are perfect. For every strength you have, make sure you have an equal number of weaknesses. Adding "low stamina" and "spinal arthritis" with "fragile skeleton" on B's list of weaknesses gives you a total of three. So you can have three strengths to balance that.

Think of it this way, would B still have this sickness if he didn't have the stomach that contributed to his ability? And even if the ability is only loosely tied to the weakness, we've asked other entrants to change their refs for more minor ability limitation (bad at skills like climbing and jumping, etc.). We can't really make exceptions on the matter.

Another reason we can't count it is that it sounds like the symptoms will only effect B in later rounds. At the moment, we're not concerned with planned future events in regards to refs. What you plan for future rounds is up to you. If you'd like, you can still have the illness as part of your ref, it simply won't be counted as one of the required weaknesses.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BuryTheMaid In reply to goudanewt [2012-05-03 05:32:44 +0000 UTC]

I think I'll remove "agile" as a strength as well since with his arthritis and low stamina, that would be difficult. He doesn't need to be particularly fast I suppose.
So then he should be good, right? I'll change his ref then.

And I understand c: that makes sense. Thanks for elaborating.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

goudanewt In reply to BuryTheMaid [2012-05-03 06:01:40 +0000 UTC]

Everything checks out. The ref has been submitted to the group. Thank you for your patience.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BuryTheMaid In reply to goudanewt [2012-05-03 06:19:30 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much! c:

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Mongrelistic [2012-04-30 23:34:39 +0000 UTC]

Very cute character! I have one question though. What do you mean by "can collapse skeleton" under his abilities?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

BuryTheMaid In reply to Mongrelistic [2012-04-30 23:58:50 +0000 UTC]

Like how a rat can collapse its skeleton to get through small spaces. Though in the case of his species, it's normally an act of defense.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0