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How to annoy Darth Vader

By Cat885

1. Become a force-sensitive, powerful, lightsaber trained, favorite of the Emperor; or marry some one who is one of his Favorites, like Prince Xizor. (So Vader cant kill you when you annoy him)

2. Marry Prince Xizor anyways. (Vader hates him) (oh, only if you're a girl. If you're a guy, don't, Xizor doesn't like guys like that….)

3. Call him 'Darth Barbeque'

4. Follow him around and repeat every thing he says in a extremely girly fashion with a high pitched voice and lots of exaggerated movements. For 10 hours, straight.

5. When he is sleeping, still his lightsaber,  run into a hanger bay with lots of people and have him get intercommed to come there.  When he gets there, hold out the lightsaber and  start clicking your tongue and encouraging him to come over like, "Here boy, come here, you can do it, come on…"  like a dog.  Then drop it and run, really fast.

6. Stick a sign on his back reading 'Kick me'

7. Give the Emporer a cape that says 'Im with Stupid'. Get him to wear it when Vader is walking with him.

8. When he is sleeping, steal his light saber, and replace it with one of those toy lightsabers from walmart.  Then instigate an attack and film him trying to kill people with the toy lightsaber.

9. Put said movie on galactic YouTube.

10. Steal his imperial shuttle and fly around the galaxy with it.

11. Lock him in his giant egg thing. (You know, the egg thing that he was seen in, in at least Star Wars 5, I think its his command center or something…)

12. Don't let him out until he says "please let me out, with sugar on top and a cherry."

13. Accuse him of being  a wife beater.

14. If he denies it, play him the part of Revenge of the Sith were he chokes Padme.

15. While your at it, also play the part where he gets his limbs cut off and he lights on fire.  Replay this part 10 times.

16. Accuse him of child abuse.

17. When he denies this, play him the part where he has Leai tortured and also the part where he cuts off Lukes hand.

18.  Throw stuff at him using the force.

19. Hand out pamphlets against domestic violence,  give the examples of Vader chocking his wife.

20. Ask him to repeat him self, after every sentence.

21. Accuse him of trying to kill of the Wookie race.

22. Paint a picture of him on fire. Give a copy of it to him for his Birthday.  When he demands to know why you gave him it, just tell him you thought he would like to remember such an important moment.  Smile sweetly. Then run.

23.  Tell him about how cool Admiral Piet is compared to him.

24. Hang the painting of Vader on fire up in the conference room most used by Vader.

25. Tell him about how cool Captain Pealleon is.

26. Poke him.

27. Go on and on about how entirely cool Grand Admiral Thrawn is. And how he can never compare.

28. Start a 'Save the Wookies' movement.

29. Have a 'Save the Wookies' conference,  invite lots of activists.  Then Invite Vader as a guest speaker, but make him think its for a 'crush the rebellion' conference. Then after he gives his speech and has thoroughly confused the guests, give a speech on WHY the wookies need saving (Like, its all Vader's fault. Leave out the Emperor, you need to keep in his favor.)   Then when you have seriously got the activists pissed at Vader, give them all a wide vararity of weapons, (oh and replace Vader's lightsaber again) then bring him back into the room, and video tape the results.

30. Put said movie on galactic YouTube.

31. Hand out pamphlets against Child Abuse, give the example of the way Vader deals with his children.

32. Paint his room pink.

33. Poke him. With the force.

34. Remind him all about how he left a great, sober master, for an insane drunk one. (Just don't let the Emperor know)

35. To prove it, force him to watch the part of Revenge of the Sith wear Palpatine says, "The Force is Strong with You."

36. Laugh at his childhood.

37. Have Dr. Lecter becomes his psychiatrist, then inform the Dr. that his meal has been cooked and packaged for him and just needs to be heated up.  Stare pointedly at Vader.

38. Inform has totally awesome Darth Nihilus is, and that no matter what, he will never compare.

39. Make him watch the part of Revenge of the Sith were he chokes Padme and then where she dies.

40. When he begins to cry, video tape it. Then collect together that tape, the tapes of his abuse of his family, and him trying to kill you.  Package them up and send them to Dr. Phil for and invitation to the show. Wait.

41. Inform him that he is no wear near as intimidating as Dr. Phil and that Dr. Phil has more insight then he could ever dream of.

42. When you reserve the date of the show, Kidnap Vader and stick him in the cargo bay of an shuttle and take him there. Make him listen to Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers and some other horrible Disney people the entire time you going there so hell be in the right mood for the show.

43. When he's on the show, sit in the front row and tell Dr. Phill all about how hes all ways trying to kill you…

44. Have them play all the clips you sent them, and make him cry, on imperial wide Holo channels.

45. Create a theatrical performance of his life. Completely over exaggerate it and pay particular attention to the part where hes on fire.  Have it preformed in the huge opera house on Courasant and force him to watch it.

46. Slap him with the force at random moments.

47. Inform him that he smells like burnt bacon rapped in leather, and that he should really pay more attention to personnel hygiene.

48. Steal his cape because its so cool.

49. Then steal his imperial shuttle again and fly around the galaxy with his cape laughing insanely.

50. Make a video feed of it and play it on a loop jamming anything he is trying to see, so he is forced to watch it.

51. Borrow one of Grand Admiral Thrawn's ysalamiri. Wrap it around your shoulders, and then pour ice down Vader's pants (or top, where ever there is an opening in his suit.) Then really as fast as you can.

52. Shoot him in the animatronic leg and ask him if it hurts.  Repeat at random times.

53. Tell him all about how Mace Windu was so much cooler then him, and the only reason he was able to kill him is because he was distracted.

54. Make him watch the entire first 3 Star Wars movies. In a row, with no bathroom breaks.

55. Then have him watch RedLetterMedia's 70 minute long review of the phantom menace, and his 90 minute review of attack of the clones. And His review of Revenge of the sith once he posts it on youtube. (You should seriously watch them, they are so amazingly funny its hard to believe. Link is in comments, oh viewer discretion, it has some pretty bad language.)

56. Then make him watch the movies all over again.

57. Sell him back into slavery.

58. Use the money you gain from it and give it to the Save the Wookies Movement.

59. Set him up on a blind date… with Boba Fett.

60. Then tell Boba how Anikan always admired Mace Windu, who killed his father.  DO NOT tell him how Vader killed Mace Windu.

61. Make him Audition for Galactic Idol

62. Laugh after Simon Cowell tells him how horrible a singer he is.

63. Sign him up for yoga

64. Tell him the Blue Angels are better at flying then he is.

Description
How to annoy Darth Vader

By Cat885

1. Become a force-sensitive, powerful, lightsaber trained, favorite of the Emperor; or marry some one who is one of his Favorites, like Prince Xizor. (So Vader cant kill you when you annoy him)

2. Marry Prince Xizor anyways. (Vader hates him) (oh, only if you're a girl. If you're a guy, don't, Xizor doesn't like guys like that….)

3. Call him 'Darth Barbeque'

4. Follow him around and repeat every thing he says in a extremely girly fashion with a high pitched voice and lots of exaggerated movements. For 10 hours, straight.

5. When he is sleeping, still his lightsaber,  run into a hanger bay with lots of people and have him get intercommed to come there.  When he gets there, hold out the lightsaber and  start clicking your tongue and encouraging him to come over like, "Here boy, come here, you can do it, come on…"  like a dog.  Then drop it and run, really fast.

6. Stick a sign on his back reading 'Kick me'

7. Give the Emporer a cape that says 'Im with Stupid'. Get him to wear it when Vader is walking with him.

8. When he is sleeping, steal his light saber, and replace it with one of those toy lightsabers from walmart.  Then instigate an attack and film him trying to kill people with the toy lightsaber.

9. Put said movie on galactic YouTube.

10. Steal his imperial shuttle and fly around the galaxy with it.

11. Lock him in his giant egg thing. (You know, the egg thing that he was seen in, in at least Star Wars 5, I think its his command center or something…)

12. Don't let him out until he says "please let me out, with sugar on top and a cherry."

13. Accuse him of being  a wife beater.

14. If he denies it, play him the part of Revenge of the Sith were he chokes Padme.

15. While your at it, also play the part where he gets his limbs cut off and he lights on fire.  Replay this part 10 times.

16. Accuse him of child abuse.

17. When he denies this, play him the part where he has Leai tortured and also the part where he cuts off Lukes hand.

18.  Throw stuff at him using the force.

19. Hand out pamphlets against domestic violence,  give the examples of Vader chocking his wife.

20. Ask him to repeat him self, after every sentence.

21. Accuse him of trying to kill of the Wookie race.

22. Paint a picture of him on fire. Give a copy of it to him for his Birthday.  When he demands to know why you gave him it, just tell him you thought he would like to remember such an important moment.  Smile sweetly. Then run.

23.  Tell him about how cool Admiral Piet is compared to him.

24. Hang the painting of Vader on fire up in the conference room most used by Vader.

25. Tell him about how cool Captain Pealleon is.

26. Poke him.

27. Go on and on about how entirely cool Grand Admiral Thrawn is. And how he can never compare.

28. Start a 'Save the Wookies' movement.

29. Have a 'Save the Wookies' conference,  invite lots of activists.  Then Invite Vader as a guest speaker, but make him think its for a 'crush the rebellion' conference. Then after he gives his speech and has thoroughly confused the guests, give a speech on WHY the wookies need saving (Like, its all Vader's fault. Leave out the Emperor, you need to keep in his favor.)   Then when you have seriously got the activists pissed at Vader, give them all a wide vararity of weapons, (oh and replace Vader's lightsaber again) then bring him back into the room, and video tape the results.

30. Put said movie on galactic YouTube.

31. Hand out pamphlets against Child Abuse, give the example of the way Vader deals with his children.

32. Paint his room pink.

33. Poke him. With the force.

34. Remind him all about how he left a great, sober master, for an insane drunk one. (Just don't let the Emperor know)

35. To prove it, force him to watch the part of Revenge of the Sith wear Palpatine says, "The Force is Strong with You."

36. Laugh at his childhood.

37. Have Dr. Lecter becomes his psychiatrist, then inform the Dr. that his meal has been cooked and packaged for him and just needs to be heated up.  Stare pointedly at Vader.

38. Inform has totally awesome Darth Nihilus is, and that no matter what, he will never compare.

39. Make him watch the part of Revenge of the Sith were he chokes Padme and then where she dies.

40. When he begins to cry, video tape it. Then collect together that tape, the tapes of his abuse of his family, and him trying to kill you.  Package them up and send them to Dr. Phil for and invitation to the show. Wait.

41. Inform him that he is no wear near as intimidating as Dr. Phil and that Dr. Phil has more insight then he could ever dream of.

42. When you reserve the date of the show, Kidnap Vader and stick him in the cargo bay of an shuttle and take him there. Make him listen to Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers and some other horrible Disney people the entire time you going there so hell be in the right mood for the show.

43. When he's on the show, sit in the front row and tell Dr. Phill all about how hes all ways trying to kill you…

44. Have them play all the clips you sent them, and make him cry, on imperial wide Holo channels.

45. Create a theatrical performance of his life. Completely over exaggerate it and pay particular attention to the part where hes on fire.  Have it preformed in the huge opera house on Courasant and force him to watch it.

46. Slap him with the force at random moments.

47. Inform him that he smells like burnt bacon rapped in leather, and that he should really pay more attention to personnel hygiene.

48. Steal his cape because its so cool.

49. Then steal his imperial shuttle again and fly around the galaxy with his cape laughing insanely.

50. Make a video feed of it and play it on a loop jamming anything he is trying to see, so he is forced to watch it.

51. Borrow one of Grand Admiral Thrawn's ysalamiri. Wrap it around your shoulders, and then pour ice down Vader's pants (or top, where ever there is an opening in his suit.) Then really as fast as you can.

52. Shoot him in the animatronic leg and ask him if it hurts.  Repeat at random times.

53. Tell him all about how Mace Windu was so much cooler then him, and the only reason he was able to kill him is because he was distracted.

54. Make him watch the entire first 3 Star Wars movies. In a row, with no bathroom breaks.

55. Then have him watch RedLetterMedia's 70 minute long review of the phantom menace, and his 90 minute review of attack of the clones. And His review of Revenge of the sith once he posts it on youtube. (You should seriously watch them, they are so amazingly funny its hard to believe. Link is in comments, oh viewer discretion, it has some pretty bad language.)

56. Then make him watch the movies all over again.

57. Sell him back into slavery.

58. Use the money you gain from it and give it to the Save the Wookies Movement.

59. Set him up on a blind date… with Boba Fett.

60. Then tell Boba how Anikan always admired Mace Windu, who killed his father.  DO NOT tell him how Vader killed Mace Windu.

61. Make him Audition for Galactic Idol

62. Laugh after Simon Cowell tells him how horrible a singer he is.

63. Sign him up for yoga

64. Tell him the Blue Angels are better at flying then he is.