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cewilson5 — Will it be all for Nothing? Part I
Published: 2012-04-08 02:37:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 5328; Favourites: 37; Downloads: 24
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Description It was hard enough when Tom moved away to live with his new girlfriend.  I was prepared for that.  Even us Littles have to move on with our lives.  Tia was okay, well that isn't fair, she is better than okay.  She treats my brother well and she really didn't have any problems when she found out that he was friends with a human named Henry.  Both Tom and myself trusted Henry with all of our hearts, despite him being different.  He never gave us any reason not to trust him.  But still, losing Tom and preparing to lose Henry was something I was not prepared for.
I dangled my legs over the suitcase that rested on his bed as Henry continued to pack.  He was going to college now, and he wouldn't be living in this home anymore.  I was losing what I wanted to believe was like a second brother.  I couldn't tell him otherwise.  
"Will you visit?" I asked him.  "I would hate if this was a real good bye."
"Lucy, in case you have forgotten, I invited you to come with me," Henry said gently.  "It's not like I'm living in a dorm with a bunch of roommates.  My parents are chipping in so I can have my own flat outside of the whole college scene.  I wish you would come with me."
That subject in itself was hard to bear.  Henry had asked me, repeatedly at that, to come with him.  Despite how much I tried to convince myself that I only saw him as a brother, I had a feeling that Henry saw me as much more than that.  He saw me as a friend, and despite our differences, I think he wanted to believe that we could be more than that.  I wouldn't have allowed it.  Henry was a human.  Though he wasn't especially tall in human standards, I still only grew to just about 5 inches.  I couldn't have a relationship with him.  It would always have to be a secret and I wanted Henry to move on with his life.  Eventually I would have to find someone my own size as well.
"You know I can't do that," was all I could say.  
Henry laid another folded shirt in the suitcase, taking extra care not to jostle me sitting on the edge.  His bedroom looked so bare now.  The house would feel so empty.  Henry's parents rarely entered his room.  Even before he started befriending Tom and I he had always been a private person.  Henry explained that he wanted to keep it that way and that was why he fought so hard for an apartment of his own.  But, as much as it stung to hear, apparently he had only done that because he assumed I would go with him.  Tom was supportive.  Tia was supportive.  My parents had their reservations but assumed that me going with him would only be so I could have someone to talk to my own age.  
I didn't talk to as many Littles as I should have.  Tom usually joked that I never truly understood my feelings for Henry, but I thought it was clear.  We couldn't have a relationship.  If Tom was able to find another Little and live happily ever after, than why shouldn't I have the chance?
"I won't know what to do without you," Henry said in a quiet voice and stopped packing for a moment.  He stood next to the bed where the suitcase was laid and I still had to crane my neck to look into his blue eyes.  He had a sadness lately - a sadness that I really wasn't used to seeing.  Tom said Henry smiled more when I was around.  I never knew that.  He just always seemed happy.  But not lately.  "I can't remember the last time I came home and didn't expect you or Tom to be waiting.  And if weren't there, I would always wait for you."
"For us, you mean," I corrected him.
"No," Henry said softly and leaned in closer.  I felt his finger dip under my chin and pull my face towards his.  His sandy blond hair was framing around his face.  "I would always wait for you."
I flushed.  "I wish you wouldn't say things like that."
"I can't help it," he went on.  "I really can't remember.  Are you sure you won't reconsider?"
Feeling his fingertip under my chin felt hot and I pulled away from with a jerk.  He retracted his hand and turned away again, grabbing another sweater from a drawer and folding it against his body.  He still looked like the same boy, just taller…older.  His hair was longer, and even at only 18 years old he always had the beginnings of a beard and mustache.  It was hilarious…but I never told him so.  I didn't like telling him so much lately.  I felt like everything I said to him could be interpreted as an invitation to invite me to accompany him to college once again.
"It will only be us," Henry went on.  "You could even come to class with me.  You could be the first Little with a Big college degree."
"Littles have colleges," I answered.  
"I know that…but-"
"I wish you would just stop," I replied firmly.  "I can't do this.  Can't you see why I can't?"
Placing the red sweater into the suitcase he stood in front of me and crossed his arms.  He was a looming sight, but I was never frightened of him.  I never was.  He was always a Little to me, who just happened to be big.  His full lips were pulled down in a frown as he considered my question again.  He knew I would not argue about this with him.  He was leaving tomorrow and I still hadn't moved an inch towards his proposal.  I couldn't just leave my parents to live with a big?  Even one that I trusted as much as Henry.  Even one that I found as attractive as I found Henry.  It wasn't fair.  Never in my life had I wanted to be a big so badly as in that moment.
"Because I'm not a Little," Henry said.
"Because I'm not a Big," I corrected him.  "It wouldn't be fair."
"I don't care about what's fair.  I wanted you to come with me.  And I know deep down you want to come with me too."
"That's not the point."
"Of course it's the point!  We're friends, friends grow up…go to college, live together.  Move away from their parents."
"So do that!  You can still do all of those things.  And so can I."
"But not together?"
I shook my head.  "It wouldn't…it wouldn't be right."
"Why not?" Henry asked.  "What's so wrong about me?"
"Nothing!" I screamed out.  "You're perfect…"
"Perfect?"
I smirked.  "You know that you're perfect.  I just don't you're perfect for me."
"You make it sound like a challenge.  So let me try to prove to you that I am."
"No."
"Lucy!" Henry said with exasperation.  "I'm leaving tomorrow and I am still not convinced that you don't want to go with me."
"Even if I did, I won't."
"Why?"
Because I knew I would fall even more in love with him.  And our love couldn't be.
"Because I'm not going to be the one to take your life away from you."
"Lucy, I want to make you my life," Henry said and finally sat next the suitcase.  The bed gave slightly to his weight, rocking the suitcase softly and I tumbled off the edge and into his folded clothing.  "Gosh, Lucy!  Are you okay?" Henry asked with worry as his face appeared over the rim.  "I'm so sorry."
"Don't be," I mumbled.  "This is the stuff that I'm talking about."
He bit his lower lip and watched me stumble to find my footing.  I knew he wanted to help, but I had made it quite clear to him lately that his hands made me nervous.  I didn't like to be held by them.  They were so warm, so safe, that I always ended up wanting more.  He was a dangerous addiction.  
But he was leaving tomorrow.  He said that he would visit often, but with the campus being over 2 hours away in Big travel time, I wasn't sure how he would.  I would miss him.  Losing Tom was hard enough, and now I was losing someone else.  I had no idea who I would turn to.
"Lucy, I," Henry began as he watched me begin to climb out of the suitcase.  "I've decided something."
"Oh yeah?  And what's that?" I asked as jumped out of the suitcase and landed cleanly on his comforter.  I walked up to him slowly and stood next to his thigh, meeting his strange gaze.  "What is it?"
"I've decided that I'm not going to take 'no' for an answer any more," he said firmly.  I couldn't help but snicker.
"Is that so?" I asked, trying to remain confident but suddenly remembering how big he was, standing next to him at such a strange angle.  
He lowered his chin.  "I want you to come with me.  I need you."
"Henry," I muttered but gasped as one of his arms shot forward and I found myself being scooped up into his hand.  "Henry!" I squeaked as I found myself flying in the air.  "You know I don't like that!"
"I don't care.  I want to look at you when I'm saying this."
His face began to fill up my entire vision.  I couldn't easily look away from him.  The dimples in his cheeks, the stubble on his chin, the piercings in his ears that were almost hidden by his shaggy hay-colored hair.  His beauty was almost dangerous.
"Look at me," he commanded.  "Please, Lucy."
I sucked in some air and looked at him again.  "What?"
"Come with me."
"No."
"Come with me," he repeated again, just as firmly.  "I'm not asking."
"You can't boss me around."
The creases in the corners of his lips arched.  He was smirking.  I was afraid of what was coming next.
"You do remember as a kid what I would do to you," he smiled.
I couldn't stop my face from blanching.  "You wouldn't dare."
He raised a finger.  "I dare."
"Henry," I said but felt the seriousness of the situation draining as his finger came closer.  "We're not kids anymore."
"No, we're friends," he answered and gently poked my side.  I squeaked.  "And I see even though you are not a kid that you are still ticklish."
"Henry Bigg, don't you freakin dare!" I squeaked.
He poked me lightly again.  "Then say you'll come with me."
"No."
A giggle rose in my throat when I felt that gentle touch again.  It was like a feather.
"Please?" he asked.
"Henry," I muttered.  "Why do you have to make this so hard?  I can't go with you."
His finger slowly moved away.  It took everything I had not to reach out and grab it.  His face grew sad again.  "You're really serious aren't you?"
"Yes."
My heart fell to my stomach as he shrugged.  "Well okay then.  I tried everything."
"You have?"
"Yeah, I've tried asking you for months and you never changed.  You won't consider it.  Consider me throwing in the towel."
"Really?"
"Really, Lucy.  I'm sorry if I made you so uncomfortable.  You won't hear any more about it.  Just promise me you'll give me a fantastic good bye tomorrow."
I swallowed.  "I guess I can do that."
"Okay then," Henry said quietly and set me back down on the bed again.  "I have to finish packing.  I don't know exciting it will be.  You can go home if you want."
He never asked me to leave.  "No," I answered.  "I don't mind watching you pack."
"At least there's that," Henry said softly and hoisted his body off the bed again.  
I bit my lip.  So many words were foaming inside of my mouth but I couldn't bring myself to say them.  He looked so amazing then, even doing something as simple as packing.  His black v-neck sweater hung loosely over his white shirt and off his lean-muscular body.  His dark-denim jeans were still a little too tight for my liking but I loved his belt.  It was also black with silver studs and his sneakers were bright red.  He always had good fashion sense and I loved seeing what he would wear every morning.  I soon wouldn't have that.
I wouldn't have him.
I would have nothing.  I felt my courage building up.
"Henry?" I asked and he stopped folding to look at me, cocking his head to the side.
"Hmm?"
"I..I want," I began but wouldn't let the words come.  I couldn't do something like this to him.  He was such a beautiful Big.  I'm sure there was a girl out there for him.  Maybe.
"What is it?" his voice interrupted my thoughts.
I was a coward.  "Sorry, nothing," I muttered and lowered my eyes away from his.
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Comments: 61

cewilson5 In reply to ??? [2012-04-08 03:03:58 +0000 UTC]

Haha, gotta love the weekends!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MicroNekoGirlPur In reply to cewilson5 [2012-04-08 03:05:00 +0000 UTC]

yea. and spring break next week. thanks to you im on part 4 of the little and liberty.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

cewilson5 In reply to MicroNekoGirlPur [2012-04-08 03:10:06 +0000 UTC]

Very nice!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MicroNekoGirlPur In reply to cewilson5 [2012-04-08 03:10:42 +0000 UTC]

lol yea. you reminded me of it so i went to youtube and checked it out again. been forever since iv seen it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

cewilson5 In reply to MicroNekoGirlPur [2012-04-08 03:29:40 +0000 UTC]

Haha the same went for me. I had some free time and pulled the dvd off the shelf and was like, "I think I'll watch some of this tonight." Lol

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MicroNekoGirlPur In reply to cewilson5 [2012-04-08 03:32:02 +0000 UTC]

lol awesome.
i wish i could find more on youtube. im starting the littles movie now.

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

Bethelina In reply to MicroNekoGirlPur [2012-04-08 06:34:25 +0000 UTC]

If you're looking to watch episodes on YouTube, here's a bunch of them. ^^ (They're kinda hard to find when just searching normally. You have to know what you're looking for, so here's the link. ) [link]

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MicroNekoGirlPur In reply to Bethelina [2012-04-08 15:07:01 +0000 UTC]

thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

cewilson5 In reply to MicroNekoGirlPur [2012-04-08 03:47:47 +0000 UTC]

Excellent! Enjoy it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MicroNekoGirlPur In reply to cewilson5 [2012-04-08 15:07:11 +0000 UTC]

yea.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0


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