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Chompgwen6 — Adeline and Meggy Ref (Labyrinth Oct)

Published: 2019-03-28 11:58:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 1806; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 3
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Description Name: Adeline

Alias/Nickname: Addi

Species: Sarephalon

Age: 112

Height/Weight:

• 7’ 11” 478 pounds normal form

• 1’ 3” 1 pound butterfly form

Gender: female

Reason for entering: Adeline knows she would at some point, have to leave Meggy, since she can’t die from age but Meggy can. Adeline wants the get the water for Meggy for her to live forever. Adeline dedicates herself to protect, and be with Meggy. It may be considered selfish, but to Adeline, it’s as if it’s a life or death situation.

Strengths:

• Front legs are strong enough to break stone, or anything weaker.

• Sharp end of horns can pierce through flesh.

• Can run up to speeds of 40 mph but only in spacey, flat areas. (Adeline cannot run fast in places that are bumpy or narrow, like forests.)

Abilities:

• Adeline is able to produce silk through her tongue, but she is limited on how much she can make, she’s only able to make 3 silk traps a day. she can also make clothing, bags and more. The arms in the front are used to crochet with silk. The silk is not really sticky, but is can still be used as traps, just need to be weaved around objects to. She won't be able to make traps if her arms are broken.

• Adeline can transform into a butterfly, just as long as 40% of her body is not drenched in any liquid. She won’t be able to transform if her body is covered in that amount. If she’s drenched while in butterfly form, she’ll transform back into her true form. Also in butterfly form, her best attack would be tickling since she is weak in that form. If wings are ripped, in true form or butterfly form, they can mend up in about a 3-4 hours (though she wouldn’t be able to fly in butterfly form during that time). The only upsides in that form is that she can fly and has a smaller hit point. Butterfly form is tied with Adeline's real form, so if butterfly form has broken antenna, that means real form has broken horn. (She is easily defeated if attacked in butterfly form. She also gets headaches that slowly get worse the longer she holds it, 6 minutes is her max time before she can't bare it anymore, the headaches can be very distracting.)

Weaknesses:

• Adeline is quite clumsy.

• Adeline is quite slow.

• Adeline's eye-sight blurs up when she gets tense, scared, sad, or angry

• Adeline's tongue is very sensitive when hit. 

• Adeline has low stamina. She would have to rest to recover her stamina.

Personality: Adeline is a calm is shy girl, though she can get pretty defensive when it comes to Meggy. Adeline is like a mother figure towards Meggy by giving her loves and attention, and worries about her. She always puts Meggy’s needs before anything else , no matter how important the other thing is. She always anxious when Meggy not in her eyesight. Though, when she’s not worrying about Meggy, she is more social towards others. Usually listening to the conversation before joining it. Sadly, it rare for Adeline to not worry about Meggy at all.

History: At the beginning Adeline was a very shy creature, keeping her disguise on, or transforming into a butterfly. Then at the are of 36, Adeline decided to show her appearance real to a 6 year old boy, while still having the disguise on. She left the boy when he reached the age 10, since she didn’t want to be known as a mythical beast, only coming to children, she rather be known just as a imaginary friend. She visited more children, became friends with them, then left at their tenth birthday. Then, Adeline at the age 108, she found an orphan 4 year old girl alone in a forest in the cold winter night, Adeline picked her up with her skinny arms and tried looking for her parents. Never finding her parents, Adeline decide to take care of her until she finds an orphanage. After a few days with no luck, Adeline got attached to the little girl and decided to keep her. She named the little girl Meggy. She protected Meggy for a long time, becoming a motherly figure to her, Adeline never wants to leave Meggy’s side.

Likes: Meggy, crocheting, kind people, flowers,

Dislikes: Rain, water, bug spray, cocky and mean people, adult humans

Other:

• Adeline cannot die from old age, but can die in any normal way anyone else can die.

• Adeline can be nervous around suspicious looking people

• Act like an imaginary friend, though she is 100% real.

• Tongue is always sticked out.

• Tongue un-curls when screaming or yelling.

• She can't even swim, if she tries, her fur will get heavy and she will most likely sink


Name: Meggy

Alias/Nickname: Meg

Species: Human

Age: 8

Height/Weight: 3’ 4” 76 pounds

Gender: female

Reason for entering: Meggy just wants to support Adeline and to cheer her on, she has no idea what they’re competing for or why they’re there.

Strengths:

• Meggy is highly energetic  

• good at sneaking away if she wants to be. 

Abilities: none

Weaknesses:

• she’s still a child and can’t tell much from right and wrong.

• Her skin can easily be pierced by sharp objects

Personality: Meggy is a very energetic little bean, she is one of those silly kids. She is very social towards everyone, and wants to make new friends. Part of this reason is because she spent half of her life with Adeline, and she wants new friends. She is a bit more shy to people who are a bit scarier, though she’ll still try to talk to them.

History: One day, at the age of 4, Meggy and her parents were driving near a forest on a harsh winter night. They were trying their best not to get stuck on the curb. While driving, a deer was standing in the middle of the road, they weren’t able to stop and they drove right off the road, head straight into a tree. Meggy was scared since her parents weren’t moving, and when a police car pulled up, she was terrified. So scared, Meggy jumped out of the car and ran into the forest. The cold winter night, started freezing her, she passed out in the snow. When she woke up, she found herself bundled in a large amount of fur, then she looked up and saw a giant creature. She learned that the creature could talk and that it’s name was Adeline. To this day she is still friends with this mythical creature, possibly more like mother and daughter.

Likes: Adeline, swings, fluffy things, cute creatures, hearts, and hugs

Dislikes: mean people, sharp things (Adeline is an exception), and spiders

Other:

• Even though she doesn’t have any abilities for herself, she is strong-hearted.

• She doesn't remember who her parents are.

• Meggy's eyes are green

• Knows lots about flowers

I think these two are some good, and I hope you like them

For Labyrinth-OCT  
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Comments: 10

Lunaterasu [2019-04-15 02:31:16 +0000 UTC]

Awww, love Adeline's little-- well, rather tall Mohawk there!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Chompgwen6 In reply to Lunaterasu [2019-04-15 02:49:31 +0000 UTC]

Thanks, it is based off a giraffe’s mohawk, and there is even a little mohawk on the butterfly form

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Lunaterasu In reply to Chompgwen6 [2019-04-15 03:36:40 +0000 UTC]

OH! That's pretty cool, actually!

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Techn0Gecko [2019-04-05 19:09:38 +0000 UTC]

Hi Chompgwen, 

Thanks for your interest in Labyrinth. What an interesting duo! I'm here to help you get your characters accepted as we need you to make some amendments before we can accept them to the group.

Adeline

First off, please put a space between the sections and bold the titles. This will make the reference easier to read. 

Reason for entering:
What you have put here is fine but it needs expanding. From what you've said, I am guessing that Adeline is entering to win the water to give to Meggy? If this is the case, please state this explicitly in this section. 

Strengths and abilities:
Most of these are fine as they are, but we will need some tweaks to ensure everything is in the right place. 

Please put everything relating to the Butterfly Form under a heading or make it into one bullet point. This should include the points 'Adeline can transform into a butterfly', 'Butterfly form is tied with real form' and 'If wings are ripped...'. This will make sure all aspects about this ability is in the same place and clearly part of the same ability (they currently look like separate strengths). We need this form to have a limit for number of times it can be used in battle (with a cool down period, if relevant) and a limit for how long for. Alternatively, you could have some physical drawback like it draining her strength, dizziness after transforming and a cool down period. 

Silk making ability - Please state your points about her producing this with her tongue and crocheting this with silk. Your point "• The silk is not really sticky, but is can still be used as traps, just need to be weaved around objects to." in Other should be moved here too. There also needs to be a finite use for this. Perhaps she can produce enough to produce 3 traps per round? 

Please remove the needle arms from this section as you specify later that these aren't going to be used for attacking. 

I'm going to have to ask you to remove the Disguise as Butterfly ability, both because I think it will be too complex for your opponents to depict and because Adeline has a high number of abilities and strengths already. We need to ensure that everyone's characters are of a similar strength. 

Weaknesses:
While the information you have here is relevant and interesting, these are largely extra information or power limitations rather than a weakness. Consequently, everything currently listed here needs to be moved into other sections. Comments below:
• Adeline cannot run fast in places that are bumpy or narrow, like forests. - This is an ability limitation so please move this to the relevant strength
• If one of Adeline’s hoofs are badly chipped... - At the moment, this is more of an observation than a weakness. You could either boost this to say that Adeline's hoofs are a weak point or move this point to Other. 
• Though Adeline’s horns are dense, if they break... - Same as hoofs. Make this into a weak point (or perhaps hitting them causes terrible pain?) or move this to Other. 
• wings can regenerate, it takes a week, and she wouldn’t be able to fly during that time - This is a limitation so include this information under the relevant strength and remove it from weaknesses. Please note that there may not be weeks between rounds, so you may want to make her wings heal faster than this (maybe a few hours or a day?). 
• Even though The tips of Adeline’s arms are as sharp as needles, the arms can only be used for crocheting. If she tries using them for attacking, the arms can break quite easily since the arms are very fragile. They are only able to hold less than 120 pounds without breaking. - This information best fits in Other. However, you are welcome to include the arms as a weak point if you choose, specifying that breaking them will stop her from knitting. 
• She is easily defeated if attacked in butterfly form. - This is a limitation rather than a weakness so please remove this. 
• She can't even swim, if she tries, her fur will get heavy and she will most likely sink - Since there aren't going to be any bodies of water in the labyrinth, this skill is not relevant. Please move this to other. 

Adeline has 6 strengths (counting flying as a butterfly as its own strength), so she will need 6 weaknesses to balance her out. Perhaps some of these will be the weak points I suggested you could use above. You can find a list of suggested weaknesses in the Character Design  journal. 

Other: 
Adeline doesn't appear around adults, know damn well what they do when see something new. - This note causes some issues, since the vast majority of competitors are adults. We cannot permit your character to be invisible to other competitors. If you like, you are welcome to have Adeline invisible to individuals outside the maze in your audition, but once she is in the arena she needs to remain visible. Please amend this note with this in mind. Give me a shout if you'd like to discuss it further. 

Meggy 

On the whole, she looks good. However, while I get what you were going for with her strengths and weaknesses, I'm going to ask that you list at least two for each just to help your opponents with portraying her in their entries. Highly energetic/lots of energy could certainly be one. Perhaps she is speedy or good at hiding? For weaknesses, this could be something like physically vulnerable and low strength? 

I hope this makes sense. Give me a shout if you need any support and comment here once you've made changes! 

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Chompgwen6 In reply to Techn0Gecko [2019-04-05 22:07:40 +0000 UTC]

Hi, I fixed the things you told me to fix, though I still want Adeline to keep her disguise ability so I changed it to make it a bit simpler to tell what it does, is it ok if I get rid of the hooves strengths instead of disguise(now illusion)?

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Techn0Gecko In reply to Chompgwen6 [2019-04-07 22:31:22 +0000 UTC]

Hi Chompgwen,

Thanks for making these changes. Meggy is looking good but there are a few more changes we need to make to Adeline before we can accept her:

• If wings are ripped, in true form or butterfly form, they can mend up in about a 3-4 hours (though she wouldn’t be able to fly in butterfly form during that time). <-- please move this down to the Butterfly ability or Other, since this isn't a strength or weakness in and of itself. 

Abilities:
While I appreciate your wanting to keep the disguise ability, I am afraid that we cannot allow her to go through with both the ability to become a butterfly and disguise herself as one. This could become quite confusing for competitors to portray, so this needs to be removed for us to accept her. If you wish, you could exchange the disguise ability for the true transformation, but I feel that the transformation is potentially more useful. 

If you decide to keep the butterfly transformation, this needs a limit on the time she can hold the transformation and either a limit on the number of times it can be used in battle or a physical drawback that impacts her every time she transforms. I see you added that she gets a headache after 4 times of use, but since this is not a limit or something that effects her every time she transforms this isn't a full limitation. Drawbacks could be a distracting headache for a few minutes after it is used, dizziness, feeling faint, energy draining, vision disappearing for a few seconds after every transformation.

Weaknesses:
These need to be revised somewhat. In our guidelines, we consider weaknesses to be either:
- A constant trait that your character has to overcome e.g. clumsiness, poor strength, seizures
- Something other characters can exploit e.g Weak points, poor senses

We do this so that everyone has an even playing field in the OCT. At the moment, your weaknesses mostly only come into effect if Adeline is injured, meaning they do not fulfil these requirements. 

• Hooves - Since this is just something that /could/ be injured and are fairly tough to break (most competitors will not be harder than stone) this is not considered a weakness. Please move this to Other or remove it. 

• Horns - The same goes as above. Since it takes a lot to injure them, this is not considered a weakness so please move this to Other or remove it. 

• Fragile arms - This is a viable weakness but we need this to be boosted so that they are generally very easy to break, she cannot attack with them and they can only hold a small amount (say 10 pounds, as 120 is not a small amount). Your point about them causing huge amounts of pain when injured is great so keep that in here.

• Tongue  - Boost this to 'When hit this causes massive amounts of pain' rather than just when cut off, and this counts as a weakness. 

• Transforming into a butterfly and back can give massive headaches when used more than 4 times a day. - Remove this and replace the ability limitation, as explained above. 

• Adeline can sprain her legs if she moves a lot for around 8-16 minutes. - Change this to 'Low stamina' and this will work well. 

If you change Fragile arms, tongue and the low stamina weakness as I suggested, you will have 3 weaknesses. You will need another 3 weaknesses for her to be balanced. Here's a list of potential weaknesses:

Unusually weak for its size
Unusually slow for its size
Unusually fragile for its size
Unusually clumsy for its size
Poor stamina
Poor senses
Poor pain tolerance
Poor balance
Unusually sensitive to temperature
Clear weak spots
Long-term injuries
Breathing troubles
Hemophilia
Flimsy joints
Prone to seizures

Maybe breathing troubles, poor vision/hearing, slowness or low agility would suit? Give me a shout if you need any help, once you've made these changes I am sure these will be some great characters. 

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Chompgwen6 In reply to Techn0Gecko [2019-04-07 23:26:17 +0000 UTC]

Ok fixed those too, sorry for having Adeline too complicated, hopefully I fixed everything

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Techn0Gecko In reply to Chompgwen6 [2019-04-08 20:50:25 +0000 UTC]

Hi Chompgwen, 

We are nearly there! Just a few more changes.

• Adeline is quite clumsy, she can easily trip if the ground is uneven. <- Change this to just 'Adeline is quite clumsy'

• Adeline is quite slow and can only have small boosts of speed. <- Change this to just 'Adeline is quite slow'

• She also gets headaches that slowly get worse the longer she holds it, 45minutes is her max time before she can't bare it anymore, the headaches can be very distracting.<-- This is a power limitation rather than a weakness. Please move this up to below the Butterfly skill. You also need to remove the time to 5 minutes (an entire round could be fought in less than 45 minutes in reality)

• Adeline has low stamina, being able to run for about 8-16 minutes. She would have to rest to recover her stamina. <- Change to 'Adeline has low stamina. She would have to rest to recover her stamina.'

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Chompgwen6 In reply to Techn0Gecko [2019-04-08 20:58:07 +0000 UTC]

ok got that fixed, is Adeline and Meggy now ready?

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Techn0Gecko In reply to Chompgwen6 [2019-04-08 22:03:58 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, everything looks great! I'll accept them now. 

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