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Curingx β I don't like this heart anymore
Published: 2012-09-06 14:53:47 +0000 UTC; Views: 500; Favourites: 18; Downloads: 4
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Description
urk.. Lots of moodswings today,Probably of being a bit sick and confused.
venting.
I am.. Really mad at my self.
I already knew i had trustissues, and that really never was a true problem, but now that i might maybe like someone for real,
it is tearing me completely apart.
fuck. I don't like this feeling, deep in my gut, that this will end badly.
AMG. HEARTLESS, FLIRTADDICT CURING FOUND LOVE? END OF THE WORLD MUST BE NEAR. yeah i know.
Teasing in clubs and what not is superfun, but now that it might be serious i can't shake this stupid feeling off.
He is too kind, too handsome. but he hadn't had any kind of relation for 3 years. It feels like there must be something wrong... and he's coming over next week ;n;
It's a 4 hour trip at least for him, so i am pretty damn sure he is expecting something.
And i am not sure i can give him that..
Am really really lost on what to do now,
..i am scared. And i fucking hate it.
Anyone some advise, or similar condition?
Maybe some idea's how to solve this goddamn feeling? ;n;
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Comments: 51
:'3 <33
That reassured me so much <3
thank you so very muh <3
You should become a therapist or something!
you know exactly what words to hit, you <3
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I'm really glad to hear that:3 and you're very welcome
and that's what all my friends tell me XD
I'd love to, but I've wanted to be a vet since I was 5
thank you so much
you deserve to be happy^^ if you ever need anything note me<3
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You should do what you feel like doing ofc~!
In my opinion, you would be suited as any medical/caring
jobber~! Good luck, i hope you will achieve your goal!
Thank you so much <3
I will :'3 Same goes for you eh~!
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Just be yourself.
Seriously. That's it.
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but there is where the problem lies,
I can coop fine with, let's say, one night stands,
because i don't let those guys in my safetyzone.
But i'd like this guy to come in,
but i am affraid :c
that is who i really am, selfish person with trustissues..
i am affraid of taking advantage of again,
to sound very clichΓ©, it hurts so much, not sure if i want to risk anything.
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:c
That's... Upsetting. And understandable believe me.
I've never been actually led on for sex, but I have been led on in general, and it's not fun...
The most I can tell you is just follow what your instincts tell you to do :'I
Sorry I can't give better advice ;n;
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hmmhmm, i wish i got the power to read ones mind :'3
Thank you for talking to me anyway <3
Already reassuring <3
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;w;
Yey..
I'm glad I can help.
Always remember if you need somone to paic attack to you have me on skype |D Shikia Haruho Ikamani. c:
-----
On other notes though. The picture looks really nice. Get rid of the red and heart and she looks kinda drunk to me. Or she ate too much |D
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Yeah~! <3
i personally prefer Tinychat,
but didn't do that either in a looong long time~
Maybe tonight will be fun to do so~!
Do you have time tonight~?
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I'll be doin homework as well but I'll see if I can squeeze you in :'D
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Whoop~
Appointment made~!
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dont act differnt or it will be weird
and only advice in the feeling i got is think of sex
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ya no
definately no
noonononoononon
sorry
sorry sorry sorry
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i still am,
only a bit nervous~
But in order to gain something,
you gotta take risks~
we'll see how it goes~
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That's a spirit
And if anything goes wrong there's always a knife
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dont you get it?
sex is what she is afraid of.. that he just wants to do things to her!
please read more carefully before commenting like that :/
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wowowow
wait A SECOND !!!
ii thought she fell in love and wait
o fuck the 4 hour drive may of been a sign
shit i am sorry
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Just read better and think about it before commenting on vent art/journals okay? :/
The words that pointed it out in here were mostly 'trustissues' 'mad at myself' 'sure he is expecting something'
that sorta stuff..
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and holy crap
when that is added together as if it was a sentance it makes perfect sense
holy crap
i fail
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;w;
I hope.. ugh. stupid feelings.
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You need to tell him EXACTLY how you feel. Do not do something you do not want to, or you will hate yourself.
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Thank you for your advice <3
but the thing what i am so uncertain about,
is that he will lie about it, like my last boyfriend did.
he started out really nice and patient, but later on turned
out that he only did use me for sex, and laughed at me
with his friends, while promising over and over not to use me and stuff..
So am a bit insecure, because people lie so easily :c
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You're welcome.
If he DOES lie about it, or gets mad at you for NOT giving it up, then he is not worthy of your time, at all, hun. :c
Some guys are such dicks...
I feel the same way, I guess you can either take their word, and might end up hurt, or just not let them in physically or emotionally until you are really sure about them.
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But, if he does want to use me, if he's smart, he is patient and sweet in the beginning, that is what i am mostly worried about. :l
Yeah, that's the dillemma ;w;
but i don't want to end up alone for the rest of my hopefully still long life,
i need to learn how to trust damn it
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Yeah... some guys...if they REALLY want it.
But, woman. WOMAN. You a fine black woman, and aint need no man.
You are super young anyway, so if they REALLY like you, then they would be willing to wait.
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hell, you said it, sistah~!
From now on, i ain't gonna let myself ever get down by a man.
You're right :'3 <3
Cheered me up, thank you <3
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MMMMHM. FOSHO FOSHOO.
You're welcome. ^-^
I can talk anytime, if you need to. I'm a girl too. Haha!
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:'3 //opens arms for a hugg?//
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djhsgfj *open arms and hugs* :'3
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//Snuggles into hugg// :'3
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*pats back and continioues to hug* :')
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Just try to just relax around him. And trust me. If he expects anything, he IS.NOT.WORTH.IT!
A guy shouldn't expect something from a girl, but just enjoy being with her... Same goes to girls...
It's a stupid thing to go and think you deserve to get something in return every time you do one little thing...
Relax and try to just have fun with him.
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Hmm.. i can try,
but i am a bit affraid that i am already well, vulnerable, let's say.
If he does expect anything, i am already hurt ;n;
if that makes sense..
's been some time since i felt so angsty and shit,
i hate it >_<
thank you for your advice <3
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I hope you will be alright sweetie.. <:c Don't want you to get sad or hurt...
Do as much as you can to just focus on being yourself and being happy! ^^ I cross my fingers for you<3
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:'3 Thank you very much roxy <3
I'll focus <3
And hey, if all else fails, we just get drunk and everything's gonna be kay <3
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alcohol alwaaaays help lol
pff exaaactly <3
no but all derp aside, thank you :'3
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you're welcome ^^ always here for you <3
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The way ive heard you talk about him, and the impression he gave me;
He is not like that.
I think he is just a geniune nice guy who possibly likes you enough to travel >4 hours to see you! Without being a dick and expecting some action. He would probably be more shocked if you made a move on him
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mahaha xD
That is a fun thought,
that he really would be so shy to be scared of touches <3
ima hold onto that <3
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