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DelusionInABoxReflection

Published: 2011-03-21 17:16:17 +0000 UTC; Views: 21947; Favourites: 1150; Downloads: 150
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Description Truuue story.

This is the thing which has consumed my life for the past 2 weeks. >_> I originally meant it to be one long strip, but then had to make it into pages for my class just to have a way to print it and present it, but I compiled it back into a long strip for here on teh web.

I am so sick of looking at this thing. So much stress over it and there are a lot of problems I last minute noticed and didn't have time to fix >_< Oh well.

Not really much else to say... Hope you guys are at least amused by it.

EDIT: Daily Deviation? Wooooah! Thanks guys!!

I'm swamped with things to respond to now, but here's some more overall thoughts on the topic that have been brought up in comments:

1 - ADD is more than just procrastination and not being able to focus. Everyone is "a little ADD", yes, but the problem is when its something you're having trouble everyday with most things versus just one thing you don't want to do. You have trouble getting even simple things done, can't follow directions, zone out in the middle of conversations, etc. For more info, I recommend this site: [link]

2 - I'm not necessarily advocating medicine or saying everyone should take them. It's up to the individual and what works for them. They're also not a "cure" - it just gives you more of the boost you need to do what you should. I saw a specialist before going on medication who taught me note-taking/studying methods and time management skills, but my meds help me to follow through with what I know I have to do more consistently.

Anyway, thanks again for the DD I'll try to get to everyone's comments eventually...but there sure are a lot. o-o
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Comments: 362

Naoru In reply to ??? [2011-04-25 10:55:38 +0000 UTC]

thanks for your insight ^^ That makes sense, I hope GAD isnt affecting you too badly now

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DelusionInABox In reply to ??? [2011-03-29 00:22:54 +0000 UTC]

Hmm...not really sure. Maybe in the future I might be able to go without them, but for now I'm glad to have them.

I actually saw a behavioral specialist for a year before I started medication to learn how to better organize my time and things like that. I think that was a big help, but at the same time there are some parts of the condition that are much harder to overcome by will - like zoning out when people are talking to you, being unable to remember & follow directions, or general forgetfulness. I don't feel like it's really a "cure" for the problem, but more that it helps me have enough focus that I can actually follow through with what I learned from the specialist. Before, even though I'd acknowledge everything he'd tell me to do, I'd inexplicably fail to follow through. Or I might do it for a while, but then stop.

So I feel my meds are more of an aid, if that makes sense? Because even though it helps me have more of an attention span, it still isn't what makes me study when I don't want to or that sort of thing. I still have to do that myself. It at least gives me the attention to be able to listen, but I still had to learn how to take notes that actually work for me. And even if I actually hear what someone tells me, I still have to follow through and make sure I write it down so I don't forget because I know if I don't, I will forget. That make sense?

Part of my problem mostly was with the fact I was in denial that I had ADD to begin with. I was kind of like "oh, well everyone is a bit ADD..." and for some reason I found it was easier to believe my problems were the result of a failure of character than anything with my brain. Which naturally led to my frequent depression. And I guess because I didn't know that there was anything "better" than how my brain was working now, I was really reluctant to try it. But of course it wasn't until after I was off them that I realized how much they helped! I realized in hindsight that it was the first time I felt like I really had my life together. They had helped so subtly I didn't even notice until it was gone and couldn't understand why getting even a simple homework assignment done felt like pulling teeth.

It's interesting too that I also noticed my art improved more being on my meds, mostly for two reasons. Firstly that I wasn't getting bored with them after a week helped a lot so I was able to see them through to the end without being like "eh, it's 'done'" but actually "It's DONE". Second that I could pay more attention to detail stuff I'd usually overlook - like tangents, forgetting to take a certain thing into consideration, not considering consistent lighting, etc. Things that should be no-brainers I'd often overlook.

And after I learned more about ADD and actually researched about it I was more able to admit that I had it. Being able to understand what I have also helps in knowing what I have to do to deal with it.

I think whether someone decides to go on meds or not is a rather personal choice and also kind of depends on what the problem is. But I think using them as an aid instead of a cure is more beneficial long-term. I only wish my meds weren't so expensive...;_; Mine is the only one here that's approved for adults and it has no generic yet. :/

Mm...I think that's about the gist of it. Sorry for the long rambling! XD

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niteshadepromise In reply to DelusionInABox [2011-04-14 18:05:29 +0000 UTC]

"and for some reason I found it was easier to believe my problems were the result of a failure of character than anything with my brain. Which naturally led to my frequent depression."

This part has me teared up, because...let me tell you, after years of therapy and being on meds...I STILL have had my set of failures...and this is exactly how I think, even though I fully accept I have ADHD. I still sit here sometimes and think that the only reason I haven't done so well is because it's something in my character, or I'm not good enough...NOT because there is indeed a hindrance in the way my brain functions that makes some things really HARD(for lack of a more descriptive way of saying it).

Do you still struggle with this, even though your medicated and in counseling? I'm just wondering that maybe I'm doing something wrong here in dealing with it.

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DelusionInABox In reply to niteshadepromise [2011-04-15 22:54:34 +0000 UTC]

I'm sad to say I do still struggle with it at times! I have never really wanted to use my ADD as an "excuse", and I tend to take responsibility for my mistakes very strongly...especially if my mistake really upset or affected someone else. Probably feel more terrible about it than I should sometimes, but I can't seem to help it. >_<;

You're definitely not alone in dealing with this!

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Flyffel In reply to DelusionInABox [2011-04-12 11:25:37 +0000 UTC]

Interesting.

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Naoru In reply to DelusionInABox [2011-03-29 19:50:02 +0000 UTC]

No that was very insightful! That sucks that they're expensive though! >_<

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DelusionInABox In reply to Naoru [2011-03-29 22:39:54 +0000 UTC]

yeah...I have health insurance but it doesn't really help. >_>;;

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mirror2rorrim In reply to ??? [2011-03-21 22:36:54 +0000 UTC]

pshhh! It looks amazing! And it is still so entertaining to read. Crit tomorrow will be fun~

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DelusionInABox In reply to mirror2rorrim [2011-03-22 00:05:07 +0000 UTC]

Thankies. I hope it goes well tomorrow...

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NikoruV21 In reply to ??? [2011-03-21 19:44:35 +0000 UTC]

Loooove this! I enjoy the more precise way you've rendered the shading as well. Little quibbles on the art here and there (mainly on your palm that is being held out to take the pill) don't detract at all from the story. Rest assured, your hard work has paid off imho. It should be interesting critiquing it tomorrow, it' a fun piece. XD

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DelusionInABox In reply to NikoruV21 [2011-03-21 22:23:17 +0000 UTC]

Thanks ;_; I guess I'm just super paranoid from staring at it too long...I'm like "CRAP there's a tangent there", "this would've been better if I'd moved it there", etc. Urrrgh. o_< I'm excited to see everyone else's though.

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