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Redneck Review of Call of Duty Black Ops

At first I was scared to buy this game.  I was worried because it was titled "Black Ops", it might have some of those "darkies" that pa always warned me about.  But it had lots of guns in it so I put my fear aside.  Besides...I loved Combo Strike.  My favorite gun in the entire game was the AWP.  I never understood why them youngins kept calling me a camper...it's a trailer...not a camper you dumb fucks.

Anyways, the single player game was confusing as fuck.  I think it was about a bunch of hippies and drugs...I have experience in the latter...it was pretty spot on.  Like the part where he kept getting radio broadcasts...I get those on account of the metal plate in my head.  It was fun though because I got to kill lots of Nazis.  I don't like how they gave em them funny Russian accents.  These video game developers don't have a grade A edumacation like me.

So eventually I fired up my blazing fast 2800 baud modem...wondering what the hell a baud is and if I can kill it...and connected to that thing I get all of my porn from.  I didn't get to play much because people kept complaining.  I couldn't hear most of it because I think they must have bad radio reception...but I could make out something about "ping" and "over 9000".  I will never understand these kids.

Ultimately playing on the porn tubes wasn't very much fun for me, so I played some Nazi Zombies.  I got so scared that I put both barrels of my sawed off scattergun to the monitor and pulled the trigger.  What scared me?  Well...seeing JFK of course.  I could have sworn I killed him years ago.  My computer was clearly haunted.  Now I need a new one...I guess I will head down to the guy on the corner near the tree and see if he has anymore computers he liberated from the hippies down at the nearby community college.  I never did like dem young know it all fucks.  I bet it was them that made JFK haunt my computer.

Description
Redneck Review of Call of Duty Black Ops

At first I was scared to buy this game.  I was worried because it was titled "Black Ops", it might have some of those "darkies" that pa always warned me about.  But it had lots of guns in it so I put my fear aside.  Besides...I loved Combo Strike.  My favorite gun in the entire game was the AWP.  I never understood why them youngins kept calling me a camper...it's a trailer...not a camper you dumb fucks.

Anyways, the single player game was confusing as fuck.  I think it was about a bunch of hippies and drugs...I have experience in the latter...it was pretty spot on.  Like the part where he kept getting radio broadcasts...I get those on account of the metal plate in my head.  It was fun though because I got to kill lots of Nazis.  I don't like how they gave em them funny Russian accents.  These video game developers don't have a grade A edumacation like me.

So eventually I fired up my blazing fast 2800 baud modem...wondering what the hell a baud is and if I can kill it...and connected to that thing I get all of my porn from.  I didn't get to play much because people kept complaining.  I couldn't hear most of it because I think they must have bad radio reception...but I could make out something about "ping" and "over 9000".  I will never understand these kids.

Ultimately playing on the porn tubes wasn't very much fun for me, so I played some Nazi Zombies.  I got so scared that I put both barrels of my sawed off scattergun to the monitor and pulled the trigger.  What scared me?  Well...seeing JFK of course.  I could have sworn I killed him years ago.  My computer was clearly haunted.  Now I need a new one...I guess I will head down to the guy on the corner near the tree and see if he has anymore computers he liberated from the hippies down at the nearby community college.  I never did like dem young know it all fucks.  I bet it was them that made JFK haunt my computer.