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Description

Please forgive the shoddy anatomy! I tried to use a photo reference to fix the shoulder, but I don't think it worked very well, haha.

The description is a bit long, I hope you don't mind! I just really wanted to share the story behind the piece! <3

So.. awhile back - late 2015/early 2016 - I was going through kind of a rough phase. I don't want to bore anyone with details and make this description longer than it needs to be, but let's just say that.. things kept happening, and rather than face them, I ran from them instead. Stupid idea, trust me, I know, but.. I refused to allow myself room to cope, and it just.. affected everything. So, so badly.

It's true what they say about bottling these things up, and honestly.. things got bad enough that time kind of stopped for me for awhile there.
I was alive, but I couldn't bring myself to live, you know? The world was gray to me.

For several months, I barely did anything but.. exist. I wanted to do something, to try, but it required much more energy than I had at that time, and I couldn't see the point anyway, so I didn't act on it.

But still, over and over again, I kept finding myself in front of the drawing tablet, staring at the screen. I wanted to work on one of the bajillion projects I had, but.. I couldn't.

One night, frustrated, I just made a new square canvas and began scribbling. The scribble didn't really have any rhyme or reason to it, just me playing with different colors and brushes, but by the time I was done.. it had become Trapped ; a perfect representation of how I was feeling.. trapped inside, unable to escape.

And that became my inspiration; what if, instead of trying to paint "good" artwork, I just.. drew what I was feeling, regardless of quality? Couldn't hurt, right? Certainly couldn't make things worse than they already were.

So I kept drawing.. and drawing, and drawing, and it eventually became a series I called "Color Therapy." And one of these pieces was called Time .

The night I drew Time, I had absolutely no plan of what to draw. I just made a black canvas and started scribbling over it with bright blue, and what I found when I was done was an unhappy, semi-transparent girl in the center of a makeshift clock.

At first I was angry at it; I thought it didn't have any meaning behind it and I hadn't done a very good job anyway, but.. then I saw what I had been trying to illustrate;

The clock moves, never stopping, but she doesn't move with it.
Directionless. Unmotivated, unable to escape.
Can't go back, but too afraid to go forward, so she just.. wafts through life like a ghost.. watching from the shadows, waiting to feel alive again.

And eventually, she did.

The Time painting represents a period in life when time had no meaning for me, but thankfully, I've managed to crawl out of that place and into a healthier mindset. Time means something again, and I've realized that we only have so much of it, and I won't waste another minute of mine! I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with the time I have left yet, but.. I'm so excited to see!

And so, I drew this as a sort of nod to Time; it's the same girl, but.. more solid, more real. Happier.

She's not trapped in time, she's not waiting for a clock to tell her when to go.. she's Timeless.

Description

Please forgive the shoddy anatomy! I tried to use a photo reference to fix the shoulder, but I don't think it worked very well, haha.

The description is a bit long, I hope you don't mind! I just really wanted to share the story behind the piece! <3

So.. awhile back - late 2015/early 2016 - I was going through kind of a rough phase. I don't want to bore anyone with details and make this description longer than it needs to be, but let's just say that.. things kept happening, and rather than face them, I ran from them instead. Stupid idea, trust me, I know, but.. I refused to allow myself room to cope, and it just.. affected everything. So, so badly.

It's true what they say about bottling these things up, and honestly.. things got bad enough that time kind of stopped for me for awhile there.
I was alive, but I couldn't bring myself to live, you know? The world was gray to me.

For several months, I barely did anything but.. exist. I wanted to do something, to try, but it required much more energy than I had at that time, and I couldn't see the point anyway, so I didn't act on it.

But still, over and over again, I kept finding myself in front of the drawing tablet, staring at the screen. I wanted to work on one of the bajillion projects I had, but.. I couldn't.

One night, frustrated, I just made a new square canvas and began scribbling. The scribble didn't really have any rhyme or reason to it, just me playing with different colors and brushes, but by the time I was done.. it had become Trapped ; a perfect representation of how I was feeling.. trapped inside, unable to escape.

And that became my inspiration; what if, instead of trying to paint "good" artwork, I just.. drew what I was feeling, regardless of quality? Couldn't hurt, right? Certainly couldn't make things worse than they already were.

So I kept drawing.. and drawing, and drawing, and it eventually became a series I called "Color Therapy." And one of these pieces was called Time .

The night I drew Time, I had absolutely no plan of what to draw. I just made a black canvas and started scribbling over it with bright blue, and what I found when I was done was an unhappy, semi-transparent girl in the center of a makeshift clock.

At first I was angry at it; I thought it didn't have any meaning behind it and I hadn't done a very good job anyway, but.. then I saw what I had been trying to illustrate;

The clock moves, never stopping, but she doesn't move with it.
Directionless. Unmotivated, unable to escape.
Can't go back, but too afraid to go forward, so she just.. wafts through life like a ghost.. watching from the shadows, waiting to feel alive again.

And eventually, she did.

The Time painting represents a period in life when time had no meaning for me, but thankfully, I've managed to crawl out of that place and into a healthier mindset. Time means something again, and I've realized that we only have so much of it, and I won't waste another minute of mine! I'm not sure what I'm gonna do with the time I have left yet, but.. I'm so excited to see!

And so, I drew this as a sort of nod to Time; it's the same girl, but.. more solid, more real. Happier.

She's not trapped in time, she's not waiting for a clock to tell her when to go.. she's Timeless.