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enigma-theory — Undying Love
Published: 2010-01-30 16:35:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 610; Favourites: 19; Downloads: 3
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Description
With fate affixing me with my missing link,I am immobilized by a love
That melted through the once frozen surface of my soul,
A love…This love… Infinite love;
A boundless love that is incomprehensible to all others.
Except…
I am taunted with the inability to escape
The acknowledgement of a barrier fate has bestowed,
Ever generating a lachrymose state.
Yet...
With a single exchange of emotions,
A single emergence of mutual adoration,
Comes a retrieval of pure power,
Of positive energy,
And of faith and devotion;
That will forever be sustained.
Eyes sealed shut,
Envisioning you; conserving you;
Reminiscing a fathomless state of profound passion,
Seizing the endless craving to be touched by your love.
To be touched…
A touch, a caress, a tender embrace,
A synchronize; of hearts.
Both halves; granted a perfect combination;
A fusion of two souls,
Inseparably entwined as one,
With an association; of an undying love.
Comments: 13
aw god, I can assure you with no embarrassment that it almost makes me cry
it is really beautiful
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well thank u so much for that.. this one means a lot to me because it was written when my emotions were at their peak.
im glad u were able to get something out of it
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Another brilliantly written, moving and emotional. And another piece that many readers can relate to. I'm really impressed with your writing, it's beautiful 
I like that this is a poetry piece. I don't know why but it appeals so much more.
You reinforce the idea of love, by the repetition of the word "love," which makes the piece center on that idea.
I'm not too sure on the last line, its not as strong an ending as some of your previous pieces have had. I don't quite know how you'd change it. But i think it needs to be stronger.
Other than that though, brilliant piece
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thank u so much 
thanks again
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Yeah, i mean it works for that, i just dont think it's a strong enough ending to a strong poem. But it'll do
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its an older one of mine, i guess i improved since then and will continue to improve as i go 
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That's a very good thing to do! It really helps see where you've changed and how
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TOo many tiems ahve you used the words "love" and "soul" in this poem giving it an elementary feel. I think you could improve it by using stronger words like Passion, lust and such things. I liekt eh way you broke it up into stanzas especially the "yet" and the "Except" I acutally don't think you need the "..." because we're going to mimic that anyway jsut by the way that everything has long lines except those two words. You did have some wonderful word choices as well like "fathomless" "synchronize" "sustained" "retreival" "inseperable" and "envisioning" The last sthree stanza's are FAR stronger than teh first. I like teh story/meaning of this poem as well. Overall well done. It deserves a more cleverly worded title because you clearly have an ability with wonderful words.
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its one of the first pieces i wrote properly and so i guess my work has improved since then.. and im sure i could make it much better in terms of the first half.. i just chose to submit it as is so that i could see the difference in my writing hehe.. maybe i should let that go and just start incorporating my improvement into my old pieces, what do u think?
either way thanks for that i really appreciate it
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It's cool to see how much you avhe improved I ahve soem poems from i dunno maybe five year ago on my computer and I've thought about submitting one and jsut being yah I was this horrible at one time... but you could also incorperate a version two where you avhe edited and changed adn enhanced it as well. And your welcome ^^
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hehe i might
thanks again for ur comments i really appreciate it
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This is extremely beautiful! 
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