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Description
“No! Oh, please, God, no! Please!”

“I’m sorry T-Chan, but this is out of my control.”

“No! You can’t do this! Awesomekage, please!”

The wizened village leader bowed his head, ending the debate.

T-Chan fell to her knees and beat the floor with her fists. “Is there no other way? No other way at all?”

The Awesomekage just shook his head, unable to answer her with words.

T-Chan sat back on her heels and breathing slow and deep to remain calm. Her head remained bowed, her tears of frustration and defeat hidden by her long curly bangs.

It pained the Awesomekage to see one of his strongest warriors, a Jonin he had trained himself, crumble at his feet, just from the very idea of this mission.

It wasn’t the mission that had her in such a state of grief. No, T-Chan Enurface was of the highest ranking ninja under the village leader. She had been on missions that would have taken her life had she made a single mistake. And all of these missions, she had done alone.

But now the Awesomekage was forced to play his hand against the lone wolf ninja.

This mission was too dangerous. T-Chan was too valuable a warrior and too precious a companion for him to risk her going alone.

He wasn’t asking her to take an entire team, just a mednin, a ninja of medical expertise. But, seeing as how there was a international mednin strike, medics of any kind, ninja and otherwise were few and far between. And in this particular case, there was only one in the whole Village Hidden by Awesome available.

Thunderous footsteps sounded outside the door to the Awesomekage’s office. They both cringed at the impending dome that lay just moments away.

“Please! Awesomekage!” T-Chan begged as the screams of terrors filled the air. She grabbed the hem of his cargo shorts and gazed straight into his eyes, tears glazing over her sorrow blue eyes.

The doors to his office burst open from the force of a powerful tidal wave. “Sorry, I’m late!”

Soaking wet, as was the rest of the village, including the Awesomekage, T-Chan and the office, a young, shark toothed woman hopped with joy in the doorway. “Hanasuki Soo-Min, reporting for duty! Genin Medic at your service for all your mednin needs!”

Still on her knees, T-Chan slowly turned her head back toward the Awesomekage, her eyes now narrowed and dark with hate. “May you rue this day, Old Man.”

The Awesomekage was suddenly thankful for the jet black sunglasses that hid his eyes, if only because he knew that T-Chan, the most likely of all of his students to kill him and take his place and also the only one vengeful to do so, would not be able to see the true fear hidden in his soul.

T-Chan slowly rose to her feet and bowed in respect to the Awesomekage. “Thank you for this opportunity to serve my village, Lord Awesomekage-sensei. May I not disappoint you and return home safely to see you again.”

With a shaking hand, the Awesomekage presented her with two scrolls, containing the details of the mission. T-Chan took them and gave another bow. She turned on her heel, shoving past Hanasuki, and sloshing out the now permanently open door.

“Hey, wait for me!” Hanasuki called, but the Awesomekage stopped her before she could leave. “Yes, Awesomekage-kun?”

The Awesomekage groaned then took a deep breath. “Now, Hana, I need you to listen carefully.”

“Uh-huh?”

“This is an incredibly dangerous mission. Braver ninja have tried and failed, never to be heard from again.”

“Uh-huh, uh-huh?”

“There are creatures out there that I don’t even want to imagine!”

“Uh-huh?”

“And – Hana, don’t touch that! – monsters so foul that they will eat your very soul – Look at me when I’m talking to you!”

“Sorry.”

“Now, when the Great Naruto founded the Village Hidden by Awesome – Put that down! – over a thousand years ago, he gave the people of this village the power and determination – Don’t eat that! You don’t know where that’s been! – to rise above the expectations of others and become the fastest, strongest, wisest – Hana! Sit! Good girl! – and the overall best ninja in the entire world! And to this day, was have followed his teachings of Courage, Friendship, Love, Sincerity, Knowledge, Reliability, Hope and Light, and use these teachings to find our own true Shinobi paths.”

“Uh-huh.”

“So when you go out on your mission tomorrow, remember the Great Naruto’s first rule: Don’t Die and You’ll Be Fine.”

“Yessir, Awesomekage-Kun!”

“You know, back in my day, we didn’t have fancy nicknames like –kun and –chan. We didn’t even have first names. Everybody was just –san or –sama, unless they were older than you, then they were –sensei. Mama-sensei, Papa-sensei, Big Brother-sensei, Next Door Neighbor Man-sensei. Those were the days. Back when you respected your elders! Not like today – Don’t touch that, it’s sacred! – No, today, kids have no respect. And you have to twist an arm – Get down from there! – just to get them to listen to you.”

Hana sat down on the floor and gave a big shark toothed yawn. “Can I leave now?”

The Awesomekage twitched a little but then heaved a sigh. “Yeah, sure, whatever.”

Hana leapt to her feet and a victory pose. “Don’t worry, Awesomekage-kun! I won’t let you down! By the power vested in me, by the light of the shadows and the darkness of the sun, I will protect and uphold the ideals that the Great Naruto Kisame Fish Fox Man set down for us a really long time ago!”

The Awesomekage groaned deeply. “The Great Naruto and the Evil Lord Kisame were two different people, Hana…”

“They were?”

“Yes, Hana. Yes, they were…”

“But then why do I have this picture of a shark with nine furry tails and fox ears?”

“… I don’t know, Hana… I – I just don’t know.”

“And all this Shark Fox Demon memorabilia?”

“…”

“And this keychain that says ‘Narusame is my anti-drug’?”

The Awesomekage felt a piece of his soul die. “Oh, dear God… Hana… That’s a crack-pairing…”

“Lolwutnao?”

The Awesomekage jumped up in his chair, epically posing with a single finger pointing at the village gate to the world outside. “Go forth, Hanasuki Soo-Min, Genin Medic, for tomorrow you shall be sent on a dark and deadly mission of death and darkness! Hurry now! Leave the place and prepare! Prepare like you have never prepared before!”

“Yessir! I won’t let you down, Awesomekage-kun! And that’s a promise! Wait for me, Jonin Lady!”

When she was gone, the Awesomekage, sunk back into his chair and wept. “What have I done?”

Description
“No! Oh, please, God, no! Please!”

“I’m sorry T-Chan, but this is out of my control.”

“No! You can’t do this! Awesomekage, please!”

The wizened village leader bowed his head, ending the debate.

T-Chan fell to her knees and beat the floor with her fists. “Is there no other way? No other way at all?”

The Awesomekage just shook his head, unable to answer her with words.

T-Chan sat back on her heels and breathing slow and deep to remain calm. Her head remained bowed, her tears of frustration and defeat hidden by her long curly bangs.

It pained the Awesomekage to see one of his strongest warriors, a Jonin he had trained himself, crumble at his feet, just from the very idea of this mission.

It wasn’t the mission that had her in such a state of grief. No, T-Chan Enurface was of the highest ranking ninja under the village leader. She had been on missions that would have taken her life had she made a single mistake. And all of these missions, she had done alone.

But now the Awesomekage was forced to play his hand against the lone wolf ninja.

This mission was too dangerous. T-Chan was too valuable a warrior and too precious a companion for him to risk her going alone.

He wasn’t asking her to take an entire team, just a mednin, a ninja of medical expertise. But, seeing as how there was a international mednin strike, medics of any kind, ninja and otherwise were few and far between. And in this particular case, there was only one in the whole Village Hidden by Awesome available.

Thunderous footsteps sounded outside the door to the Awesomekage’s office. They both cringed at the impending dome that lay just moments away.

“Please! Awesomekage!” T-Chan begged as the screams of terrors filled the air. She grabbed the hem of his cargo shorts and gazed straight into his eyes, tears glazing over her sorrow blue eyes.

The doors to his office burst open from the force of a powerful tidal wave. “Sorry, I’m late!”

Soaking wet, as was the rest of the village, including the Awesomekage, T-Chan and the office, a young, shark toothed woman hopped with joy in the doorway. “Hanasuki Soo-Min, reporting for duty! Genin Medic at your service for all your mednin needs!”

Still on her knees, T-Chan slowly turned her head back toward the Awesomekage, her eyes now narrowed and dark with hate. “May you rue this day, Old Man.”

The Awesomekage was suddenly thankful for the jet black sunglasses that hid his eyes, if only because he knew that T-Chan, the most likely of all of his students to kill him and take his place and also the only one vengeful to do so, would not be able to see the true fear hidden in his soul.

T-Chan slowly rose to her feet and bowed in respect to the Awesomekage. “Thank you for this opportunity to serve my village, Lord Awesomekage-sensei. May I not disappoint you and return home safely to see you again.”

With a shaking hand, the Awesomekage presented her with two scrolls, containing the details of the mission. T-Chan took them and gave another bow. She turned on her heel, shoving past Hanasuki, and sloshing out the now permanently open door.

“Hey, wait for me!” Hanasuki called, but the Awesomekage stopped her before she could leave. “Yes, Awesomekage-kun?”

The Awesomekage groaned then took a deep breath. “Now, Hana, I need you to listen carefully.”

“Uh-huh?”

“This is an incredibly dangerous mission. Braver ninja have tried and failed, never to be heard from again.”

“Uh-huh, uh-huh?”

“There are creatures out there that I don’t even want to imagine!”

“Uh-huh?”

“And – Hana, don’t touch that! – monsters so foul that they will eat your very soul – Look at me when I’m talking to you!”

“Sorry.”

“Now, when the Great Naruto founded the Village Hidden by Awesome – Put that down! – over a thousand years ago, he gave the people of this village the power and determination – Don’t eat that! You don’t know where that’s been! – to rise above the expectations of others and become the fastest, strongest, wisest – Hana! Sit! Good girl! – and the overall best ninja in the entire world! And to this day, was have followed his teachings of Courage, Friendship, Love, Sincerity, Knowledge, Reliability, Hope and Light, and use these teachings to find our own true Shinobi paths.”

“Uh-huh.”

“So when you go out on your mission tomorrow, remember the Great Naruto’s first rule: Don’t Die and You’ll Be Fine.”

“Yessir, Awesomekage-Kun!”

“You know, back in my day, we didn’t have fancy nicknames like –kun and –chan. We didn’t even have first names. Everybody was just –san or –sama, unless they were older than you, then they were –sensei. Mama-sensei, Papa-sensei, Big Brother-sensei, Next Door Neighbor Man-sensei. Those were the days. Back when you respected your elders! Not like today – Don’t touch that, it’s sacred! – No, today, kids have no respect. And you have to twist an arm – Get down from there! – just to get them to listen to you.”

Hana sat down on the floor and gave a big shark toothed yawn. “Can I leave now?”

The Awesomekage twitched a little but then heaved a sigh. “Yeah, sure, whatever.”

Hana leapt to her feet and a victory pose. “Don’t worry, Awesomekage-kun! I won’t let you down! By the power vested in me, by the light of the shadows and the darkness of the sun, I will protect and uphold the ideals that the Great Naruto Kisame Fish Fox Man set down for us a really long time ago!”

The Awesomekage groaned deeply. “The Great Naruto and the Evil Lord Kisame were two different people, Hana…”

“They were?”

“Yes, Hana. Yes, they were…”

“But then why do I have this picture of a shark with nine furry tails and fox ears?”

“… I don’t know, Hana… I – I just don’t know.”

“And all this Shark Fox Demon memorabilia?”

“…”

“And this keychain that says ‘Narusame is my anti-drug’?”

The Awesomekage felt a piece of his soul die. “Oh, dear God… Hana… That’s a crack-pairing…”

“Lolwutnao?”

The Awesomekage jumped up in his chair, epically posing with a single finger pointing at the village gate to the world outside. “Go forth, Hanasuki Soo-Min, Genin Medic, for tomorrow you shall be sent on a dark and deadly mission of death and darkness! Hurry now! Leave the place and prepare! Prepare like you have never prepared before!”

“Yessir! I won’t let you down, Awesomekage-kun! And that’s a promise! Wait for me, Jonin Lady!”

When she was gone, the Awesomekage, sunk back into his chair and wept. “What have I done?”