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Fae-CaptainofDreams — Cognii: BIO (Invader Zim)

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Published: 2019-11-11 21:40:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 2664; Favourites: 14; Downloads: 3
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Description My daughter...
My tortured baby girl, my beloved Cognii.
Her new bio is long-overdue...

Her design was pulled from the only female vortian that was to be shown in the canceled episode The Trial.
zim.fandom.com/wiki/Special:Se…



---TRIGGER WARNING---

Some themes in this bio are very sensitive.
There are many dark and unsettling themes as well as mentions of domestic violence.
I never mean to make anyone uncomfortable, so please exercise discretion.
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"I have come to realize that there are some people who are born to be loved unconditionally, and to be lucky.

And then there are others who are not so lucky, and struggle and must be alone.

I'm the latter.

I don't feel sad for myself; this is a part of nature.

It balances the world, and all of life.

Not everyone can get ahead -- it would be too crowded.

Suffering is a part of living.

Besides, I once was told that those who suffer more in life are rewarded greatly in death.

I've been hurt, so what.

It could always be worse.

I have friends, I have work, and I have a place to live and food to eat.

Stop comparing me to what I could have, and just be happy for me for what I do have.

It'll all be okay."


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~~Cognii~~

Her mother died birthing her, and as a result her father always resented her for it.
Against his better judgment, he chose to keep her after she was born, which did not bode well for his daughter.
He took out his depression, anger and frustrations on her much of the time.
He was physically abusive, often slapping or hitting her and sometimes more.
Cognii suffered with anxiety as it was, and her father only made things worse.

At only 9 years old, she concealed her pain and fears well, but she struggled greatly in school -- save for math.
Math was all she seemed to be good at, as well as special reasoning and advanced problem solving.
Everything else was a fight for her, and her situation at home didn't help.
Her reclusiveness and withdrawn nature made it impossible for her to make friends.
She was defensive, moody, and preferred to be alone.
She watched the children play and wondered what it must've been like to be happy, but she never motioned to make friends.

One night when her father was being particularly violent, Cognii snapped.
She was scared for her life this time, and she was sick of living in pain and fear.
In a heap of adrenaline and terror, she grabbed a knife from the kitchen and attacked her father.
Screaming heard coming from the home alerted the neighbors to call authorities, but by the time they got there, the child had successfully killed her own father.
It wasn't an easy task, but one that she only managed to complete as a result of pent-up rage and terror.

When police and medics showed up, Cognii was taken to a jail shelter.
Being only a child, she was not treated like a criminal, but rather was asked to talk to a specialist about what happened.
She didn't open up about the event for several days.
When she finally did, she told someone for the first time about the domestic abuse, and how scared she was when she ended up stabbing her dad.
She explained that she had no relatives that she knew of, and when the counselor and police reached out to find any, they came up with ones that were not capable of raising a child, let alone one with severe mental and emotional trauma.
So she was placed in a very nice orphanage where she had her own room (as did everyone), and received special treatment and counseling.
Obviously there was never any charging for the brutal killing of her father; their only concern was her health and getting better.
She was diagnosed with Battered Person's Syndrome.

She did not get along well with other kids.
Therapy could only do so much so soon, and at her age, it was very difficult for her to understand herself.
She was much more defensive and shy than before, and much more prone to anger.
The other children were more afraid of her than anything, and if anyone tried to touch her or got too close, she would attack by biting and scratching.
Such behavior meant there was virtually no hope for going up for adoption any time soon, as she had a lot of work to do.

She ended up being schooled in the orphanage, which seemed to work better for her.
But still, she was deplorable in any subject that didn't involve math or problem solving, and when she was 12, she was diagnosed with the vortian equivalent of Asperger's Syndrome.
This meant there would be many more challenges on the horizon, and in the few years she'd spent in the home, she had made very little improvements with socializing.

Cognii's ability to work out incredible numbers and mathematical challenges caused her teachers to reach out to colleges.
By 15 she was in a college, but only a math and science-related sector of it.
Even the professionals there found her work impressive, and it wasn't easy to challenge her with it.
Though of course, going to school meant she had to hone some sort of social abilities, so a new counselor worked with her daily to help her learn how to interact with others without feeling so threatened.
In time, she learned, and managed to do things her own way.




~~Aspiring Scientist~~

By 16, Cognii chose to live by herself in a small house pod, which she paid for by doing grunt work at the university.
It paid well, and she didn't mind.
She thanked her counselors and old mentors, but insisted she wanted to do things on her own from this point on.
She didn't want help, she didn't want more schooling.
Cognii was willing to go where the wind took her.
Those who had been with her for those long seven years worried, and checked in on her occasionally, but ultimately decided it was best to let her go and be her own person.
They let her know they would always be there if she needed them.

When she was 18, the university advised she apply to work at Research Station 9.
Given its prestigious reputation, she figured it was a good move, and did as she was instructed.
Her scores got her accepted right away, and while she didn't train under Professor Krick, she had a wonderful teacher that suited her needs.
For her sake, it was probably best that Krick was not her teacher.

Cognii had a bit of an interest in engineering, but was not good with tools or building.

But in the vortian engineering community, mathematicians were very useful, especially at a level like hers.

So she worked mostly with Lard Nar's team.
She started when Lard was 27.
For four years, Cognii worked as one of the strongest number-crunchers and problem-solvers on the team, and even helped configure data for the Massive's design once Miyuki commissioned the Station.
She also did small-time work in various labs when someone needed assistance, and ended up working under Pepps a couple of times.



~~The Falling~~

Cognii was 21 when the armada invaded.
She was imprisoned with her people and given the number 800008.
Like everyone else, she was forced to build things, kept isolated in a single cell alongside thousands of other prisoners.
But, as an unfortunate character with a tendency to be sucked into terrible situations, she later became the victim of brutal experimentation.

During the last six months of imprisonment, Cognii was quietly selected and led off to a secret chamber by an irken named Jokh (pronounced "jock").
She was only one of dozens that Jokh experimented on, but he always worked on each victim privately.

Jokh had an assistant named Bux, whom he'd blackmailed into service by threatening to reveal something extremely personal about himself.
Despite knowing this wasn't right, Bux obeyed.
He assisted with setting up the puzzles, machines, and torture devices used on Cognii.

He also documented "results" as Cognii responded to the pain and humiliation.

Needless to say, the things Jokh did to her were beyond unethical, and she endured this a couple of times a month.
And of course, there was no one to tell about it, because no one cared.
And this time, there was no way for her to fight back.

Imprisonment alone had been hard enough, but this unwarranted experimenting and torment took its toll on her, and eventually Bux, too.
But finally, when she was 25 Vort was freed, and Jokh and Bux went away.
After Zelle introduced MLL, Bux felt far worse than he did before, though Jokh had little remorse.
He was an irken purist who got off on the misery of others.




~~Starting Over~~

Most vorts went to a shelter, but a tired, broken, defeated Cognii simply returned to her old, somewhat-wrecked and dusty home.
With everything in shambles and no way to make money, Cognii scraped by.
She scrapped, eating the remaining preserved foods in her pantry, which wasn't much.
She did this for a couple of months, rationing, though working crooshians that were helping Irk clean up would eventually leave a large basket of food items on her door step once a week.
She never opened the door and took it until they left, as she was terrified of everyone by this point.

Eventually, a fellow vortian woman named Opal -- who had escaped capture by living in the wilderness -- could sense that someone somewhere very specific needed her.
A spiritualist, Opal walked for miles over the course of a couple of days until she came upon Cognii's house, and she knew she had ended up where she was destined to.
And when she knocked and wouldn't go away, the aggressive, frightened Cognii came out the front door swinging a frying pan, but stopped when she saw who her visitor was.
Through light coaxing, Opal managed to convince Cognii to let her in.
Oddly enough, the reclusive female found it comforting to have someone with her so she wasn't completely alone, and figured this weird hippie lady was as safe as it could get.
But she warned Opal that she was not a nice person and always had a knife on her, and that she demanded personal space.
Opal had no issues with that.

Over the course of a few weeks, Cognii finally made a friend for the first time in her life.
Things began turning around, albeit slowly.
There was no work to be had, or anyone else to reach out to.
But in due time, Zelle sent out a call from the Massive, advertising for previous workers from Station 9 to join her team on the super ship.
Cognii and Opal caught wind of it, but there was no way to communicate that they wanted to join.
So the pair waited for that crooshian food delivery to come around, and when it did, the women asked to be taken to a transport station.
After a few days of running and being flown around, they finally managed to get to the Massive.
And although Opal was never a worker at 9, Zelle was sympathetic and allowed them to stay together, so long as they were willing to share a room.
They agreed.

Why Cognii was so desperate to get onboard is a little unclear.
As emotionless as she always seemed, she really did love her job.
She loved working, she loved testing her mind, she loved being helpful, and the fact that she got to ride around in and work on the ship she helped with was an honor.




~~Jokh and Bux~~

Bux's guilt finally caved in on him, and he told authorities about Jokh's unauthorized experimentation.
He was tried and charged with malpractice and others, and is currently sitting in prison for the next few decades.
As for Bux, having his PAK checked as much as Jokh's, it was obvious he didn't want to help with Cognii's torment.
He was so desperate to redeem the situation and try to unload his burden that he even explained what it was Jokh planned to blackmail him with.
As private, embarrassing and judgment-invoking as it was, it wasn't criminal.
Bux is now on house arrest and will be doing community service for several months, but is otherwise free to go.
Cognii was not needed to be present for the trial, but she was contacted and notified of it.
She declined to show up to the hearing.

Someday he will find Cognii and other vortians he helped torture and try to make amends with them.
Cognii will be one of the few to quietly express forgiveness, which will ease his mind only the smallest bit.




~~Today~~

Cognii works under Lard Nar's leadership once more, and just like before, she occasionally joins Pepps in the lab.
This means she is Tak's co-worker, and the two get along quite well.
She's finally making friends, and after all she's been through, she's realized she always liked the company of Pepps, Lard and the others she no longer sees.
She's adjusted to the new faces working with her on the ship, and secretly hopes more previous workers will soon join.

Cognii bears more emotional and mental strain than ever, but has so far declined psychiatric help.
Otherwise things have pretty well adjusted, and she's content with her new life.
Surprisingly, she's improving quicker than expected, and it's most likely because she finally has friends.




~~Personality~~

On the technical autism spectrum, Cognii is solitary, antisocial, socially awkward, easily irritated by specific things, emotionally repressed, and overall a little intimidating.
She radiates a sensation of "leave me be," even though she does feel loneliness inside.
She doesn't get angry unless someone tries to touch her or take her things, and she doesn't really become joyous about anything.
Most of the time she's simply content.

Most only see Cognii as the awkward person who rarely ever speaks.

She does, yes, talk, but she keeps her sentences as short and minimal as possible.

People generally avoid her because she often sports a look of irritation or displeasure, even if she is not feeling that way.

It's just her casual look, but she is capable of the ultra rare smile.


When pleased or alerted, she'll open her eyes a bit more, letting more light hit them.
The heaviness on her brow will lighten, and she seems more engaged.

Although she lacks visible emoting, she feels the same way anyone else does.
Grief, pain, fear, happiness, safety, pleasure, etc.
She simply feels them on a lower wavelength, and tends to just go with the flow.
Her feelings are very internalized, which makes her very difficult to read.
When it comes to grieving and processing, she's very differently wired, often times not showing distress or even crying over it for a couple of weeks.

If someone gets too close, she will usually bleat irritably at them to get away from her as a warning.
But if that doesn't work, she will physically push them back or away from her person if she can't just avoid them on her own, such as if they're a little packed in.
She hates physical touch 95% of the time, but will allow Opal to occasionally physically interact with her -- if invited.
There was, however, one instance where someone accidentally provoked Cognii and she attacked them, which resulted in Pepps breaking it up by pulling her off of them.
A bold move, but amazingly she didn't try to hurt him, and let him continue to hold onto her until help showed up.
This may have been partly because Pepps is much larger than her, and definitely stronger.

Cognii is infinitely hard to read, but she can be won over.

Much to most's surprise, she responds highly to food.

The fastest way to this girl's heart is through her arteries, as food has often provided her with comfort and has seldom betrayed or hurt her (unless it somehow makes her sick).

She likes fish and egg sandwiches, strawberry banana smoothies, and peaches the most.

Give her one of these and Cognii will be sure to somehow repay you or seem to care more about what you have to say.

It's hard for her to express her gratitude to others, just as much as she has trouble portraying her bad feelings in a healthy way.


Her difficult life has warped her and made her quite unstable, but Cognii never hurts anyone just because she feels like it.

She also loves the company of animals, and refrains from harming them because she understands that they're innocent.

She does, however, carry a pocket knife on her at all times and would easily try to fatally harm anyone who she believes is threatening her life, or the life of her friends.

The latter is a very recent development, as before now, she never had anyone to defend.
This raises the stakes for her a little.

Even as an adult she still exercises clawing and biting as a negative response to stressful stimuli.

Movements as simple as hugs that take her off guard can result in dangerous flashbacks or cause her to turn and claw the face of the one holding onto her.

The worst thing to do is hug her form behind.

Cognii is aware that her reaction to negative stimuli is not socially acceptable, but she can't control herself when it happens.

This results in self-loathing, deep isolation periods and has caused her to believe that she is dangerous no matter what.

This is another reason she doesn't like making friends all too much; she fears she would only hurt them.

Opal has proven to be her closest friend and be the only person able to soothe some of her pain and learn about her past.


She is prone to intrusive thoughts, depression, guilt, nightmares, and has cut herself a few times in the past.
Flashbacks are only triggered by people getting too close or touching without her permission, which in turn triggers a violent response from her.
These flashbacks are generally short, but can have day-long effects on her.

If she cries, she cries.
She really doesn't feel too much shame over it, but she doesn't like being seen crying because of course, people look when someone is visibly upset.
Most crying is done in private, though she did a lot of it in prison no matter where she was.

Not surprisingly, Cognii is very strong in some ways, especially in her belief that suffering just comes with life.
It may not show, but she is content with the things she does have, because what she does have are things some others don't.
A home, a sort of small family, a place to work, food, and her physical health and mental capability.
And above all, she knows a select few people care about her.
She often runs from their love, but when it catches her she's always grateful and finds a way to show it.
Of course she has very rough days and nights, and sadly has considered suicide multiple times.
But through it all she finds ways to heal, she finds reasons to hold on and she never regrets it.
As time goes on, she is learning to let people love her.

Cognii loves "creepy" animals and bugs, and her favorite animal is the spider.




~~Physiology~~

Cognii's shorter than average, coming at just 5'2".
She also has very small, frail hocks and poor muscle in them, which makes it difficult for her to leap and jump.
Walking or standing for too long makes her ankles sore, so she periodically sits off and on at work.
These weak hocks also cause mild hip and back aches.

Given she's on the Autism spectrum, she has some sensory issues, such as a sensitivity to bright, flashing lights and the certain textures of some foods.

Part of why Cognii may love spiders so much is because before she was born, a plushie spider made in the image of Phobis, a vortian goddess, was placed in her crib and she grew up with it in there as a baby.
Even after getting out of the crib, she always had it with her.
When her father became violent, she took to hiding her toy from him out of fear he might destroy it.
It worked, and she took it with her to the orphanage, and then to her new home.
She didn't have it the four years she was imprisoned, but when she returned to her home she found it right where she left it, covered in dust.
Now it's with her on the Massive, and she sleeps with it every night.

She still has her tattoo and most likely will for a long time.
The idea of being touched to get it removed, even by the girlfriend of one of her superiors, makes her skin crawl.
She'd rather have the blemish.

Cognii carries a pocket knife on her at all times and even sleeps with it close by.

She got sterilized soon after getting onto the Massive.
She knows she isn't fit for children and she doesn't want a partner, and if anything ever happened to her, the idea that she could get pregnant makes her sick.




~Preference~


Cognii is asexual.

She is not sexually attracted to males or females, though she can appreciate the beauty of the body.

Nude bodies don't normally weird her out or disturb her, but she sometimes has problems with staring.


Self induced sexual pleasure is rare for her, but when it occurs it's uncoordinated and she usually has no real image in mind of something to get off to.

Normally this act is just to comfort herself or to "feel better."

It's positive sensory stimulation, but again does not happen often.


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I swear i don't hate my OC's...

I love Cognii so much, she's as tragic as Ruwen, but she lives and heals.
She tries.







---DO NOT STEAL MY STUFF!!! I DO NOT OWN IZ BUT I DO OWN THIS ART AND COGNII!!!---

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Comments: 6

SNOWMANTlS [2019-12-12 20:24:10 +0000 UTC]

THERE SHE IS AGAIN
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

SansLoafer [2019-11-12 00:18:22 +0000 UTC]

Hey, I'm making an animation for my character's backstory, do you mind if I use some of your Vortian characters?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Fae-CaptainofDreams In reply to SansLoafer [2019-11-12 03:48:59 +0000 UTC]

Oh wow, so cool!! Sure, just be sure to credit ^U^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

SansLoafer In reply to Fae-CaptainofDreams [2019-11-12 04:23:29 +0000 UTC]

of course FoxDragon. Btw, do you have a youtube?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Fae-CaptainofDreams In reply to SansLoafer [2019-11-12 04:49:58 +0000 UTC]

I do! I’m FaeFierceVulpine on there ^U^ 

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

SansLoafer In reply to Fae-CaptainofDreams [2019-11-12 22:37:43 +0000 UTC]

I'm Sarah Sans's wife. Since I have no results for your channel, please leave a comment.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0