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Published: 2012-04-08 07:42:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 4783; Favourites: 48; Downloads: 15
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The leaves were very weak, and falling off their trees. Fall was leaving Equestria. The winter blows were sweeping into Ponyville. It made shopping very difficult considering I can't see because of the snow. A big gust of wind blew my pink mane in my face. Chills crept up my spine. It was oh-so chilly outside. The shopping area was overflown with ponies buying Hearts Warming Eve presents."Why Fluttershy, you are practically blue!" Rarity said, as she finished paying for her apples.
"Oh, it-it's no big deal. As long as I get things for Angel." I say as I bend my head down. Angel did push me around a lot. I guess it didn't bother me. But there was one pony that always stood up for me.
Rainbow Dash....
Just the thought of her name made me blush. She was so beautiful, and her personality was amazing. Her striking rainbows in her hair flashed in the sun light. Everything about her was something to talk about. She had almost no flaws. Sure she bragged sometimes, but she always made me feel safe. I always thanked her for standing up for me when we were kids. Her pinks eyes stared into mine, and at that moment, I felt true love. I always wondered if she felt the same way. I will always love her.
"Fluttershy, would you like to come over for hot coco? Rainbow will be there." Rarity asked me. She seemed eager for an answer. My eyes grew big with excitement and I gave my usual squee of joy. I started to push her towards her house. There was no time to loose. I wanted to see Rainbow Dash oh-so badly.
"My dear! We don't go yet! Rainbow is still placing clouds in the sky." Rarity was dragging her hooves and shoving them on the ground until I couldn't push her anymore.
"Um, Rarity, then when are we going over? I want to see Rainbow Dash now!" I started to push her body towards her house even harder. Rarity gave me a puzzled look. I stopped trying to push her and I lowered my head.
"Wh-what I meant to say was that I haven't seen her in a while, and I- uh, want to see her.." I trailed off. I didn't want Rarity thinking I loved her. Even though it was the truth. Yet I would never speak it. My thoughts were interrupted by a huge gust of wind. My mane was blown right back where it was before. In front of my eyes. I brushed it aside, and saw the most beautiful pony flying in the sky, with Derpy following her. A muffin then hit me on the head. I knew it was Derpy's. I ignored it, and looked up. Streaks of rainbow flashed across the sky. Snowflakes started to form and fall. As Rainbow came to a stop, she seemed to notice Rarity and me. I began to blush. Rainbow sped down and seemed a bit tired.
"Rainbow! It's so good to see you!" I ran up to her and gave her a hug. She felt cold, so I wanted to warm her up.
"Um.." Rainbow Dash started to speak, but apparently lost her thoughts. She must've felt weird with me hugging her. I loosened my grip and looked down. She mumbled something, but I didn't catch it.
"Well, are we already for-" Rarity stopped. She looked up at the sky. She then looked at her watch.
"Rainbow, aren't you supposed to help with the clouds until three o'clock?" Rainbow gave an awkward face, but I thought it was adorable.
"I- uh, got some time.. off....?" Rainbow said, looking around and giving a fake smile. I looked at her with a confused face. I guess Rainbow was feeling too tired, and just didn't want to admit it. I just ignored it and turned towards Rarity.
"Um, can we go?" I asked politely. Rarity just smiled and nodded. I gave my usual squee of joy as we walked to the direction of Rarity's home.
The colds winds had followed us all the way to Rarity's house. They were really starting to annoy me. Luckily Rainbow was there to clear the snow that had piled in front of us. As we stepped into Rarity's house, I felt warmth in my body. Not from the heater, but from the touch of Rainbow's shoulder. She stared at me, looked away, and slowly walked into the kitchen to make the hot coco.
"Darling Fluttershy! You have to tell me what you have been up to lately! I haven't seen you in a week, give or take!" Rarity was so eager to find out, but only to be disappointed at the fact that I didn't really do anything exciting.
"Well, I guess I will explain my story first." Rarity started her story about how Opalescence had gotten a new sweater. She then said something about dresses, or clothes I think. I started to doze off. I dreamed of Rainbow Dash and me soaring the sky. That is, all long as we stayed close to the ground so I wouldn't have to fly so high. I looked towards the kitchen. I realized that Rainbow and I made eye contact. I quickly turned away. I couldn't stopped the rosiness from flowing into my cheeks. I hid my face in my sweater sleeves so Rainbow wouldn't see me. Why must I blush so easily? Rarity had to call my name a few times to get my attention.
"Fluttershy, did you even hear my story?" She seemed to be offended.
"Oh yes Rarity, I did. It was very, um- interesting.." I smiled. Thank Celestia, Rainbow had come in the room with our trays of hot coco to break the awkwardness filling the air.
"If you guys thought Rarity's story was good, listen to mine!" I grabbed my cup of hot coco and listened closly. Rainbow started off her story with a whisper. She told how she had flown through sky and had done amazing tricks and flips. She told of how she traveled to Canterlot, and actually got to meet one of the Wonderbolts. I had not told Rainbow, but I was too a fan of them. If only they didn't fly so high.. By the time she was done with her story, she was on top of Rarity's table, shouting and acting everything out. Rarity seemed irritated.
"Oops, sorry Rarity." Rainbow said as she climbed down.
"Well, now I have to clean my table! I shall return in a few minutes with some cleaning materials!" Rarity then walked upstairs.
"So Fluttershy, what did you do?" Rainbow asked excitedly.
"Oh nothing, actually." I said quietly. Rainbow only laughed.
"Oh come on! You must've done something!" Yeah... All I did was dream about you. Rainbow then stopped her laughter, as if she read my thoughts. She leaned in, and examined my face. She was only inches away from my face.
"What are you looking at-" I was only interupted by Rainbow's lips pressing against mine.
And blush rose from both our faces.
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Comments: 28
lildoc96 [2012-05-28 17:08:32 +0000 UTC]
A couple of things:
For one, I can only find a very small amount of any kind of grammar and/or spelling errors, so good job there. Though, there a few things a bit off with character portrayal; some things that just don't quite fit into how they usually are in the show. Nothing major, just some little things that are out of place.
But mostly, I wanted to address your recent submissions to the group "MLP-FiM-Art-Lovers". If you would resubmit your stories to the most correct folder, preferably the one titled "Literature", then it would be a bit easier on the group admins.
Thanks!
Blaid Llywd, Group Founder
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FuzzyyPanda In reply to lildoc96 [2012-05-28 20:06:55 +0000 UTC]
Thanks soo much for the feedback! My computer sadly doesn't have a microsoft word so that really sucks for me . I have to use a different website, and it doesn't have spell check! Lol but Thank you!!!!
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FodFrank In reply to FuzzyyPanda [2012-06-13 20:48:08 +0000 UTC]
If I may add, I have read some FlutterDash stories, and have seen that some makes the same mistake. They all reveal the infatuation of either ponies. Though most readers would know beforehand, it is still a trick to keep it a secret until it is revealed through action in the story, like when RD and FS kissed in the end.
Other than that the story was really cute and kept me reading through the whole thing, like som other did not manage to do. Thus I will continue reading the story. I also want to say he way you ended was also a splendid trick to want the reader to continue reading. By adding positive or negative endings that we want to get more into, you easily catch the attention of the reader, so very well done there!^^
Hope any of this was of any help I am looking forward to reading the rest! Thank you very much, and keep up the good work! /)
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FuzzyyPanda In reply to FodFrank [2012-06-13 20:59:44 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much for the feedback!!! I will consider EVERYTHING you just told me in my future stories!
/) (\
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FodFrank In reply to FuzzyyPanda [2012-06-13 21:45:13 +0000 UTC]
You are very welcome, and I am glad I was of help!^^ Keep up the good work! /)
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FuzzyyPanda In reply to bobtehnoob-1337 [2012-04-28 19:46:52 +0000 UTC]
Um.. yes.. yes they are.. O.o
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FuzzyyPanda In reply to bobtehnoob-1337 [2012-04-29 18:01:04 +0000 UTC]
And why is that awkward? There is nothing wrong with gay and lesbians -_- And besides, it's a cartoon dude.. not that big of a deal
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FuzzyyPanda In reply to sailorsorrowkill [2012-04-14 05:35:38 +0000 UTC]
Oh wow! Thanks so much!!
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FuzzyyPanda In reply to jaydragon247 [2012-04-14 04:06:35 +0000 UTC]
VERY soon!! Sorry, I've been really busy this week, but I do promise it will be at the most.. hmm.. 3 to 4 days
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jaydragon247 In reply to FuzzyyPanda [2012-04-14 04:07:47 +0000 UTC]
well ill follow you until then, and probaly after
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FuzzyyPanda In reply to jaydragon247 [2012-04-14 04:09:38 +0000 UTC]
Soo sorry about the delay!
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jaydragon247 In reply to FuzzyyPanda [2012-04-14 04:10:29 +0000 UTC]
its good, just make sure the story is great
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FuzzyyPanda In reply to KILLERWILSH [2012-04-11 00:20:52 +0000 UTC]
Lol I'm literally in the middle of writing the 2nd part!
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FoxyScarfire [2012-04-08 14:12:40 +0000 UTC]
yay you posted it!! and added more I love it!!!
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FuzzyyPanda In reply to FoxyScarfire [2012-04-08 18:27:19 +0000 UTC]
Thanks so much! I can't wait for you to read the next part! It's from Rainbow's POV
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FoxyScarfire In reply to FuzzyyPanda [2012-04-08 19:20:18 +0000 UTC]
awesome! can't wait to see it!
ahh yuri
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