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Gigglish — Why you should read Twilight

Published: 2008-07-06 02:41:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 151294; Favourites: 2799; Downloads: 3838
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EDIT: Ack. Sorry, but I don't think I'll be responding to comments on the comics anymore unless it really picks up my interest XD it takes up WAAAYYY too much of my time to do so. Lul. I feel kinda bad, though - everyone deserves a response XD

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Because everyone should sooooo read Twilight.

BEWARE OF SEMI-LONG RANT.

Augh. I know a lot of people who hate Twilight, especially now that it's gaining popularity. Unfortunately, this is also the reason why more and more people like Twilight. My question is: WHY?!

For one, THE MAIN CHARACTERS ARE ALL FUCKING MARY SUES. Bella is so ridiculously clumsy that, rather than being an endearing character trait, it's a huuuuuge fault. Not only that, but EVERYONE. LOVES. HER. Now why is that? Especially considering the fact that, ummm, she's not supposed to be pretty? Not only that, but she can be such a bitch, too. And in Eclipse, she's downright horny. Pretty sickening, consider the one she wants to get it on with is dead. Damn necrophiliac...

Then there's Edward. He sucks at life, seriously. LOL 102-year-old virgin, anyone? Drama queen. Priss. Tries to be virtuous by refusing to have sex with Bella and PRETTY MUCH ATTEMPTING TO FREAKING RAPE HER AT THE END OF ECLIPSE. WATCHES HER SLEEP. Stalked Bella. And you know what? She didn't even care. She was actually FLATTERED that a potential murderer was following her around and staring at her through her window. Wow. No teenage girl can seriously be that trusting.

And then there's Jacob, who I was too lazy to draw. Two words: Fucking. Rapist.

Okay, so putting characters aside, let's talk about the plot. See the size of the book? Well, take a #2 pencil and admire it's size. Got it to memory? Well, if you chopped out all the bullshit and about 9/10 of Bella's thoughts focused on Edward, that's what the size of Twilight would be. As stated above, in the illustration, 298 pages in New Moon was wasted on the fucking "gaping hole" in Bella's chest. Errr, okay. But Jacob tried to help her! That was made null and void by the fact that she fucking left him to go with the guy who LEFT HER IN THE MIDDLE OF A FOREST AT LIKE MIDNIGHT.

Then there's Eclipse. Oh, Eclipse. Why oh why is Bella important enough to warrant a fucking VAMPIRE ARMY TO GO KILL HER? Seriously. And, oh look! She decides she loves BOTH Edward and Jacob (that whore!)~ Eeeyeah. Okay.

So yeah. I'm really far too lazy to rant more about how there's a lack of real plot and character depth. Yeah...


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Hahaha, ugly comic. Must go get another sugar cone. I am sooooo remaking this in the future xDDD

Does anyone see the reference to the worst fanfic ever? Enoby srsly reminds me of Bella during New Moon.

I could go on and on. I won't because I'm starting to get bored LOL.

Bella, Edward, Twilight, etc. (c) Stephenie Meyer
Related content
Comments: 1479

lbdoodle In reply to ??? [2009-05-19 02:00:16 +0000 UTC]

i luff twilight but that was damn funny and true!!!

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mokonaxmodoki In reply to ??? [2009-05-18 23:25:12 +0000 UTC]

this is so true! i dont know why everyone is so excited about twilight. pshh maybe its the first book they read.

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Cricket796 In reply to ??? [2009-05-18 21:23:03 +0000 UTC]

I'm guessing you're not a twilight fan...so true but somehow I still love it.
Edward sucks!

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ZlayaHozyayka In reply to ??? [2009-05-18 02:17:22 +0000 UTC]

Wow, loved every bit of it xDDDDD

*loves*

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greentomatoes In reply to ??? [2009-05-17 11:36:09 +0000 UTC]

i love twilight but i have to say this is bloody funny!

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Jammiedodgers39 In reply to ??? [2009-05-16 18:37:16 +0000 UTC]

SUGAR CONE! And, excuse me, but did I just see a reference to Way? Enoby dark'ness dementia raven WAY? As in the WAY brothers? as in, MYCHEMICALROMANCE? Or am I just imagining things? Highly likely...
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Oh, and I laughed so hard when I read this. Pure genius.

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xJollyRancherx In reply to ??? [2009-05-16 04:12:32 +0000 UTC]

omg so true! i just hated bella in new moon cuz she completly ruined poor jacob then acted like she didn't even give a damn when edward came back! I would be their to pick up jacobs peices lol.

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HikoriStickz In reply to ??? [2009-05-16 00:43:31 +0000 UTC]

This is exactly what I needed to see. I have a friend who loves Twilight and that was all she talked about. Since we kinda have the same taste I thought I would look into it. Yeah....not my best idea. I agree with everything you said in your mini-rant and this picture is basically what I think about the book to a tee. I have, however, read some fanfiction that was actually better than the books themselves. I bow down to you for making this picture.

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GlieseLacial In reply to ??? [2009-05-15 07:34:26 +0000 UTC]

very true!!

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Holly951 In reply to ??? [2009-05-14 10:14:57 +0000 UTC]

OMG I LOVE THE REFERENCE TO MY IMMORTAL I LOLED AT THAT!!!!

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kyrsea In reply to ??? [2009-05-14 02:37:40 +0000 UTC]

You know what Edwards profile screams? Serial killer.
D:

Pretty creepy.

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StarlightAlchemist In reply to ??? [2009-05-12 21:21:13 +0000 UTC]

Never got the point of the apple or the chess piece or the other covers. Is there one? Or did she just use those pictures because "they looked cool"?

This comic is made of win, btw. <3

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ilikethembeefy In reply to ??? [2009-05-10 01:47:40 +0000 UTC]

this is pure win.

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cOOkieMonSTErz995 In reply to ??? [2009-05-07 23:09:54 +0000 UTC]

lol, i luvzz this!!!

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Riddicks-Tiger-Blood In reply to ??? [2009-05-02 19:41:30 +0000 UTC]

I completely agree

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radically-lame-18 In reply to ??? [2009-05-02 03:57:45 +0000 UTC]

never read, never seen. but this has intrugued me to a point where my day has benn made. THANKU!!!!!!!

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FunSizedKitKat In reply to ??? [2009-05-01 20:07:53 +0000 UTC]

You're the first person I know on dA to actually express there hate for that book. I LOVE YOU FOR THAT! *insta fave*

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YukiRohan101 In reply to ??? [2009-04-30 18:56:22 +0000 UTC]

I LOL-ed.

Then pop shot out of my nose.

~Yuki

--

YukiRohan101: Rebel Who Wants A Cause

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XD-ness In reply to ??? [2009-04-29 02:24:13 +0000 UTC]

....Is it just me, or is it weird that there's an ad proclaiming: "Twilight is casting now. Apply online. Registration free."
.....-starts humming the twilight zone theme-
Awesome job, anyway. xD

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sam-chaos2368 In reply to ??? [2009-04-28 20:31:47 +0000 UTC]

Um, okay. I can so totally justify your hate for Edward/Bella. Bella is so retarded it's hilarious. Edward is a fun-sucking stalker. Now, JACOB is a different story. He actually made a heck of an effort to pull Bella out of the black hole she was spiralling into. And if I could have made it to Forks in time, I would have saved his butt from Bella's evil plan to "Love-two-people-at-the-same-time-cause-that's-just-completely-natural". So, yeah. You and I need to get together and push Bella off a cliff (again. lol) Edward can enjoy himself in Volterra (again.) Then we're all happy.

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Riddicks-Tiger-Blood In reply to sam-chaos2368 [2009-05-02 19:49:31 +0000 UTC]

thats soo true

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sam-chaos2368 In reply to Riddicks-Tiger-Blood [2009-05-02 21:49:24 +0000 UTC]

lol isn't it? jk...don't know how Stephanie Meyer managed to get the world so controversial so fast! What happened to Switzerland??? lol

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Riddicks-Tiger-Blood In reply to sam-chaos2368 [2009-05-02 22:59:14 +0000 UTC]

i dont even know

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sam-chaos2368 In reply to Riddicks-Tiger-Blood [2009-05-03 02:01:45 +0000 UTC]

lol

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TheWalrusChild In reply to ??? [2009-04-25 16:27:34 +0000 UTC]

I HATE TWILIGHT WHOOO

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rockpunk92 In reply to ??? [2009-04-25 03:44:45 +0000 UTC]

Hahah well put.

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Circle98 In reply to ??? [2009-04-24 00:57:21 +0000 UTC]

enoby?

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foreveralone19 In reply to ??? [2009-04-20 03:45:14 +0000 UTC]

haha fucking hilarious!!! im a huge twilight freak/nerd take your pick..but this was the funniest thing i've seen in a while!!

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blood-red-roses In reply to ??? [2009-04-19 05:27:18 +0000 UTC]

i though he broke in to watch her sleep

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WiltedAyame In reply to ??? [2009-04-18 05:14:41 +0000 UTC]

I love this so, so incredibly much! It's hilarious.

I agree, Twilight sucks, but you sell it with honesty that's impossible to find in advertising.

You've summed it up incredibly well. You should get an award or something, for best Adaptation.

Twilight: Abridged.

Thanks for making this!

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loving-sin In reply to ??? [2009-04-16 23:53:37 +0000 UTC]

Yep that's pretty much the 3 books. My friends made me read all four. Just save yourself and dont.

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RoMaHazz In reply to ??? [2009-04-16 22:12:10 +0000 UTC]

I tried watching Twilight just for the lulz...and turned it off halfway through.

Bella: "I was unconditionally, irrevocably in love with him."

Me: "Riiiiiight...on the condition that he doesn't eat you, I suppose?"

Remote Control: "Click."

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SimpleBend In reply to RoMaHazz [2009-04-16 23:23:28 +0000 UTC]

I tried watching it too and almost fell asleep halfway in the movie so I just pressed forward to get over it.

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Artsy-xx In reply to ??? [2009-04-16 04:27:56 +0000 UTC]

Bella just can't keep her legs closed, can she? Dirty hoor.

Loved the comic! No truer words have been spoken :3

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tysmommy In reply to ??? [2009-04-14 00:19:10 +0000 UTC]

AHAHAHHA awesome. favorited!

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Random-Rose In reply to ??? [2009-04-13 23:48:38 +0000 UTC]

Twilight=A steaming pile of fucking shit
^^ sorry
Twilight is like suuuper retarded.
Bella is a tramp.
theer
I said it
BELLA SHOULD BURN!

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Ellen-Natalie In reply to ??? [2009-04-13 12:09:32 +0000 UTC]

*laugh* It's what everyone's thinking.

Of all the flaws of the series, though, I never really got angry at it until Breaking Dawn. They spent the whole dang book building up to an epic vampire battle, only to TALK OUT their problems on the battlefield. EPIC LAME!

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celestial-spice In reply to Ellen-Natalie [2009-04-13 15:32:18 +0000 UTC]

Lol, Stephanie probably wrote so crappy a fight scene they had to put that in instead.

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Ellen-Natalie In reply to celestial-spice [2009-04-13 16:26:11 +0000 UTC]

Crappy vampire fight scene...I guess that would be Bella suddenly having the ability to repel all their powers, so she can fight them alone? ^^

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celestial-spice In reply to Ellen-Natalie [2009-04-13 16:35:14 +0000 UTC]

typical powers as with all mary sues, next she'll be able to shoot deadly rainbows out of her nostrils!

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Roaring-Wind In reply to celestial-spice [2009-07-04 20:04:32 +0000 UTC]

I Loved This Comment.

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SpeakeroftheWords In reply to ??? [2009-04-12 18:48:09 +0000 UTC]

whoa, you somehow managed to mention ebony/enoby dark'ness dementia raven way... I find that impressive X3
lol, tara and mrs. meyer have a lot in common xD

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Shmool3 In reply to ??? [2009-04-12 18:27:23 +0000 UTC]

Hahahaha, the My Immortal reference.

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Polkadotkitty In reply to ??? [2009-04-12 15:36:34 +0000 UTC]

i completely completely completely agree with you.
twilight sucks.
edward sucks.
bella sucks.

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WiccanTitanicgrrl In reply to ??? [2009-04-11 03:10:46 +0000 UTC]

OMG! I loved your comic and your rant! So effing hilarious and true!!

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bloodandrock In reply to ??? [2009-04-10 03:24:41 +0000 UTC]

The 100 year old virgin got some booty and ripped apart a pillow. you forgot to add that.

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ZamDoodle In reply to ??? [2009-04-10 03:15:41 +0000 UTC]

hahahahahahahahahahaha

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LittleLommy In reply to ??? [2009-04-09 21:27:22 +0000 UTC]

LMAO! You got it spot on. I especially love the reference to the 'worst fanfic of all time' My Immortal. I could actually draw parallels between that self-inserting storyline and Twilight.

You know I started off a fan? My mates told me how great it was and I jumped on the bandwagon, although at some things reading I'd be like, what? WHAT?! This is fanfiction! This is stupid! This is sexist! This is Sparta! This is SH*T!

And yet I was drawn in =0 I don't know what it is about Twilight. Maybe it's why all those ridiculous soaps are popular? You know it's silly, but that's part of the fun.

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roxster22 In reply to ??? [2009-04-09 05:51:56 +0000 UTC]

dude this is SOOOO funny! and the funniest thing is that, once u actually thing about it, all that stuff is true. wierd huh, i know thats true but i still read it. any way, great job!

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Vick-Gatlin1 In reply to ??? [2009-04-08 23:02:24 +0000 UTC]

I love this and can I add something to it: Twilight vampires are 90210 vampires.

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