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Description
As autumn paints the trees bright and sends the leaves down in swirling cascades, normally a time when students are in the midst of their semesters, I find myself done with school. Forever. It is kind of terrifying and wonderful.

I am not going to lie; last year was HARD. It was one of the hardest years of my life. Sometimes what kept me sane was remembering the attributes of various animals and living out those attributes. One protective animal aspect that I feel was especially helpful was that of the wolf. Wolves are sociable creatures, but also cautious and intelligent. My inner wolf reminded me when to be friendly and when to be cautious. If I were a cat who walked by herself I would not need such delicate considerations, but in the role I was fulfilling I was not an independent loner. I was in a network of giving and receiving, interdependent, pleasing others when I needed to, but not accepting manipulation. Sometimes it took every ounce of wild wisdom (and professional skills) that I had to navigate a sticky situation.
But I got through it. I have been successful. I have been supported and so, so blessed.
I started this last week the day of or day after my defense. I felt that I would be doing my wise inner she wolf a disservice not to acknowledge her. I have often explored the feline aspects of the psyche and consider my affinity for felines to be strongest of all, but I feel that while the feline has much to offer to social wisdom as well, sometimes I have to put on another skin and walk among humankind with a canine outlook instead of feline. It feels as if my soul is an animal shapeshifter, mostly feline, but taking other forms when life calls for it.
I felt like a deer when I went running the other day, and as I walked to my car alone and met the eyes of the two men watching me I was transformed into a sabertooth cat with deadly teeth and eyes that glimmered with "don't mess with me." When I was younger I thought that frequently imagining I was some kind of animal was something I would grow out of (not that I wanted to) but now I realize this is something about me that is here to stay. If it is childish imagination I will always be a child.

I am no wizard at wolf anatomy, so I referenced this lovely stock photo [link] to get a feel for the face. I colored my drawing to match the female wolf I've seen in a dream or two. Fulfilling the role in the dreams of a watchful guardian, she seems to represent wise and protective wildness.

Used some nifty brushes for fur texture especially on the face. [link]

Description
As autumn paints the trees bright and sends the leaves down in swirling cascades, normally a time when students are in the midst of their semesters, I find myself done with school. Forever. It is kind of terrifying and wonderful.

I am not going to lie; last year was HARD. It was one of the hardest years of my life. Sometimes what kept me sane was remembering the attributes of various animals and living out those attributes. One protective animal aspect that I feel was especially helpful was that of the wolf. Wolves are sociable creatures, but also cautious and intelligent. My inner wolf reminded me when to be friendly and when to be cautious. If I were a cat who walked by herself I would not need such delicate considerations, but in the role I was fulfilling I was not an independent loner. I was in a network of giving and receiving, interdependent, pleasing others when I needed to, but not accepting manipulation. Sometimes it took every ounce of wild wisdom (and professional skills) that I had to navigate a sticky situation.
But I got through it. I have been successful. I have been supported and so, so blessed.
I started this last week the day of or day after my defense. I felt that I would be doing my wise inner she wolf a disservice not to acknowledge her. I have often explored the feline aspects of the psyche and consider my affinity for felines to be strongest of all, but I feel that while the feline has much to offer to social wisdom as well, sometimes I have to put on another skin and walk among humankind with a canine outlook instead of feline. It feels as if my soul is an animal shapeshifter, mostly feline, but taking other forms when life calls for it.
I felt like a deer when I went running the other day, and as I walked to my car alone and met the eyes of the two men watching me I was transformed into a sabertooth cat with deadly teeth and eyes that glimmered with "don't mess with me." When I was younger I thought that frequently imagining I was some kind of animal was something I would grow out of (not that I wanted to) but now I realize this is something about me that is here to stay. If it is childish imagination I will always be a child.

I am no wizard at wolf anatomy, so I referenced this lovely stock photo [link] to get a feel for the face. I colored my drawing to match the female wolf I've seen in a dream or two. Fulfilling the role in the dreams of a watchful guardian, she seems to represent wise and protective wildness.

Used some nifty brushes for fur texture especially on the face. [link]