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Graphospasm — 'Towers': Chapter 01
Published: 2011-02-14 01:37:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 933; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 1
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Description Towers
Chapter 01:
"Of Leaving"


She didn't disgust me before I got her a birthday present. Afterward she became weak, and I hated her.

It's not my fault. I thought giving her the man she hated on a silver platter would help her become the fighter she is supposed to be—I didn't think it would turn her into a spineless shell of her former self, content to sit in darkness wasting her days on endless torture.

Not torture of her father, though, trapped in an undying plant for her amusement. I mean torture of herself. Her spirit dies a little with every cut and scrape of that fat man's flesh.

How was I to know what my gift would do to her?

How was I supposed to stay?




I went to Human World because Demon World could offer me little more than fallen tyrants and broken promises. There was no place for me at Mukuro's side, because all that lingered in her sight was her father and the horrors she could show him.

You can't blame me for leaving her.

Kurama tried, of course. He likes to give credit where credit is due, or so he claims, but I don't deserve that credit at all. I showed up on his doorstep because I had nowhere else to go, and when I told him what had happened (or, when he finished pulling the truth from my short answers and jerked nods) he sighed, leaned back in his chair, and told me to shut the window behind me.

"Why?" I asked. "I'll only leave again."

"But not right away," he said. Green eyes flickered at the night. "And it's storming."

Rain blew in the open window, scoring the back of my neck below my scarf. I liked the feeling of the wind in my hair. It was clean. There wasn't much else in my world that could claim as such.

"All right, or don't close it." Kurama sighed. "Ruin my carpet. Again."

Such human concerns… Slowly, I turned and closed the window. When I looked back, Kurama was smirking. He had aged a little, I noticed, with leaner cheeks under brighter eyes. Still young, even by human standards, but how long had it been since I'd seen him last? Three years? Five? He hadn't entered the second Demon World Tournament…

"Thank you, Hiei," he said. "Now tell me again why you left Mukuro?"

"She left me, you imbecile," I growled. "She left everyone."

"All because of the plant I gave you?" he said. "The one you trapped her father in?"

"She sits and tortures him," I said. "She just sits. She never fights, ever." My lips curled. "It's pathetic."

"Then perhaps the plant was not the appropriate gift to give her?"

Kurama didn't know her like I did; he didn't know how the memory of her father plagued her; he didn't see. "I wanted to free her from him!" I snapped. "I thought—"

"But you only trapped her," came his calm reply. "Perhaps you didn't know her as well as you thought you did?"

I didn't answer, choosing instead to turn and open the window.

"Where will you go, Hiei?" Kurama asked when I put my foot on the roof outside. Rain stained my face; I didn't blink. "We all have lives here. You can stay with me for the time being, but there isn't a true place for you. I've given up being a demon."

"You're a fool," I said, not turning around.

His voice came soft. "Perhaps," he said, "but we all have lives. Yusuke, Kuwabara, myself…" He spoke the truth; I hated it. "Can you say the same?"

I did not shut the window behind me when I left.




The Jagan found Yukina with little effort. She too had aged, taller and leaner and prettier than I'd left her, but her eyes… those hadn't changed at all. I could see kindness in her when she handed the oaf a plate of food and smiled a smile I was sure I'd never find aimed in my direction.

Kuwabara hadn't changed. This surprised me. He still fumbled around my sister, still spoke with clumsiness and honesty, still exaggerated his movements and motions just like any annoying human would. Braying laughter, an open face: that was Kuwabara as I'd known him, and that was Kuwabara forever, apparently.

If years hadn't managed to change him, what would?

He and Yukina lived in the same house—Yukina is learning about Human World through the Kuwabara family, Kurama had told me during the first Demon World Tournament. Was that still true? I supposed so, considering the glimpses of Kuwabara's father and older sister I caught through the curtains in their home's front room. I stood up to my ankles in mud in a bed of flowers, just watching them talk because they looked like they belonged and watching was all I could do to feel the same, until a creaking door made me shrink behind a shrub.

"Hiei?" said the scratchy female voice.

It and the silhouette in the open front door belonged to Shizuru. I hadn't noticed her disappear from the scene inside. I moved so she could see me, heedless of the pouring rain, and I said nothing.

"You should say hello like a normal person sometime," she said, flipping her hair back. She attempted a small smile. "Baby bro would like to see you, despite what you probably think."

I turned from her, prepared to walk off into the storm.

"Yukina would, too," she called over thunder and water.

I left her there, alone.




Yusuke didn't notice me until I let him. I stood watching him wrestle a tarp over an oversized cart painted with characters I couldn't read and the tarp kept getting blown away by the wind, and when it blew away from him across the pavement I stepped on it. He wheeled, ready to run after it before he realized the thing had been caught already, and when he saw that I was the one to catch it he froze, staring. A smile broke his face wide open.

"Hiei, man!" he said, darting forward. Before I could jerk away he had thrown his arm around my neck, one hand ruffling up my hair just because he could. "It's great to see you, you little bastard! Hey, did you get taller?"

I wrenched away. He didn't stop laughing, pleased to see me. I said: "Detective."

"Not anymore!" he said, voice raised to combat the storm. "I stopped working for Spirit World before the last tournament. Remember? At the second one, I told you—"

I hadn't remembered until then. "You married Keiko," I said slowly. "Koenma didn't need you anymore."

"Yeah! Aw, man, that was like, a year and a half ago! Time sure does fly." He hadn't aged at all, I didn't think, especially when his eyes lit up with mischief like they did just then. "Say, you still with Mukuro?" he asked slyly. "She wasn't in the last tournament, come to think of it."

"No," I said. I didn't say: She was too busy playing with my birthday present to go; she was too busy torturing her father to care.

"Too bad neither of us won." Yusuke sighed with regret. "I bet being king would beat making ramen every day, especially in this weather."

Thunder boomed, rain smacking Yusuke's normally slick hair onto his forehead.

"You gonna be in the next one?" Yusuke asked. "It's in, like, another year and a half. I'll be in it!"

I didn't answer him.

"And hey, what brings you to Human World, anyway?" Yusuke said. He shooed me off the tarp and knelt to gather it in his arms, shaking the water clear even though the rain made it a wasted effort.

I had disappeared by the time he realized I wasn't there to answer.




Genkai was dead. I found her grave and cleared the dead leaves from the stone.

Then I left.

My footprints were my only offering to the dead that night.




I didn't want to see the ferrygirl.




Fuck Koenma.




I thought about going back to Kurama that night, but I didn't and wandered into a…

I think humans call them 'parks'.

Whatever. I don't really care.




The storm broke with the dawn. A rain-glutted lake on the edge of a wood, a clearing on the edge of the lake, a tree in the middle of the clearing—that's what the dawn showed me when I jumped into the tree, settled down on a branch, and closed my eyes.

I slept that day, all day. I could feel the sunlight on my face even as I mired my mind in dark.
Related content
Comments: 25

destinys-window [2011-02-23 02:54:51 +0000 UTC]

AHAHHHA I get my graph fix early. But really, your writing is my anti-drug. If I were high I wouldn't be able to understand all the subtle little things you manage to cram in there somehow. They add so much more to your stories, it tends to be what other fics(my own included) are lacking.

But anyway. I think you got Hiei's narration down very well. I can feel his scorn for everything and everyone. And his depressed angst that all his 'friends' have moved on with their lives but he's still stuck in the 'glory days' of running around being Koenma's bitch. Even though he could do without the Koenma part. You seem to mention the birthday present a lot. I'm fairly sure you're doing that to show how Hiei is constantly thinking about it, almost regretting it. It eats at him because he pretty much caused Mukuro's fall. But at the same time it's possible that you would stop and come back to the story several times while writing and forget what information you had already provided for the readers. I know I do that sometimes -.-:

Also I must agree with you, the manga was better. I think I cried when I read the last chapter.

Anyway, this is a wonderful start and as always, I find myself craving more and wondering what twists and turns you have planned for the YYH cast.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KittyLo [2011-02-21 02:16:05 +0000 UTC]

You can't escape us just yet, Graph. Your FF.net fan base stalks you.

... rather, I do.

Anyway. WOW. I can't express the WOW here. Like, some of your other stories which were OC-centric have caught my eye, but this here is fantastic. I didn't think Hiei could be written so well in first person. You give him a sense of humanity (as much as Hiei can have) without making him overly sentimental, yet you don't overdo his hatred and anger. This is the Hiei I know, and I appreciate that. The first thought, too, is especially interesting-- Mukuro's hate consuming her. And once before in the series as I recall Hiei had nowhere to go and was left in idleness, so this absolutely fits. I just find it slightly disillusioning that Hiei would so quickly go to and stay in the Human World. Is this manga-verse wherein the wall has been taken down? If so, I don't see why Hiei would go so readily to the human world, even if he has friends there. He hates it canonically, right?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Graphospasm In reply to KittyLo [2011-02-21 03:10:58 +0000 UTC]

I think by the end of the series Hiei wan’t as against the Human World as he was at the beginning (I’d think Yusuke changed him enough, plus Yukina is living there so it can’t be all bad, right?). But I did think about Hiei hating Human World, actually, and I made a list of reasons why he wouldn’t go there and put it next to a list of reasons why he would. The list for ‘pro-HW’ turned out to be more compelling, at least in my mind, than the 'anti-HW' one.

First and foremost is Hiei wanting to just get away from Mukuro completely. I touch on it later, but I think a part of Hiei really cared for her and now that he can’t be around her, Demon World just feels… flat. At least in HW he can see Kurama and the others.

The second reason is, of course, Yukina, but the third reason is the biggest and it ties in with the first—Hiei really, really, REALLY deep down is as lonely as all getout. That’s why he visited all of the boys, just to see if seeing them would help appease this weird ache he can’t see the
reason for.

Not sure if I explained that too well (I tend to be able to explain things better in-story, weirdly enough) but I hope it helped! Thanks for the feedback; it was super-duper-extra-special valuable, you have no idea!

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ThatPokemonFreak [2011-02-14 21:18:00 +0000 UTC]

[I thought about going back to Kurama that night, but I didn't and wandered into a…

I think humans call them 'parks'.

Whatever. I don't really care.]

LOL at that statement.
I really liked how you wrote Hiei. The separate and short thoughts really suit him. xD
Great job!

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Graphospasm In reply to ThatPokemonFreak [2011-02-16 20:57:37 +0000 UTC]

I'm glad it seems natural! Thanks so much for the feedback!

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tokyotimekiller [2011-02-14 12:25:18 +0000 UTC]

Hiei's POV? Totally cool. I'd gladly be your lab rat! And although I love how you write your stories' details, the brevity of the details here truly defined it's shrimp's POV. Nice job! Tangled really left a mark in my brain. You should read Zel by Donna Jo Napoli. It's a reteling of Rapunzel, part love story and part psychological drama. Since this fic's theme is loneliness and isolation, I hope it can help.
I'll be waiting for this fic!!!

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Graphospasm In reply to tokyotimekiller [2011-02-16 20:59:31 +0000 UTC]

I'll definitely check out that book! I need good reading material, and that will probably help my story as a bonus!

Yeah, I tried writing kind of like normal at first, but then I realized that the only details Hiei would care about would be the ones that are really important, not like with other narrators who categorize everything. I was nervous about it, though, since I'd never written anything so undetailed before. I'm glad to hear it worked!

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KoryuElric [2011-02-14 04:36:49 +0000 UTC]

I LOVE the manga, so I'm glad you are incorporating that ending rather than the anime ending. Sure, they both concluded the series rather well, but the manga ending was just so much better.
This chapter was well written, as usual, but since it's only purpose is to give the setting and some background info (I had a better way to explain what I mean, but it flew right out of my brain when I started typing!) I don't have much I can comment on. I'm anticipating a captivating story, but I won't know for at least a few more chapters.
HOWEVER, Hiei has been written beautifully thus far, so woooo!
Sorry I can't be of any help!

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Graphospasm In reply to KoryuElric [2011-02-14 05:25:04 +0000 UTC]

At this point, I am far more interested in just plain getting Hiei’s voice right, because I am STRUGGLING, dammit! I thought I had a hard time writing Yusuke, but Hiei… aw man, WTF is this?! He’s just… OHMIGAWD! All short and undescriptive (that’s not a word but please accept it!) and his way of thinking is really, really different from mine and WHAT THE HECK IS THIS DEMON’S MAJOR MALFUNCTION?!?!

(/end rant)

So yeah. It’s a HieixOC story. Based loosely on Rapunzel, but without the crazy hair. Sooooo yeah. Why am I writing OCs all the damn day? I need to have my head examined…

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A-C-L [2011-02-14 04:35:17 +0000 UTC]

Yay, I'm so happy I'm getting the chance to read this! First off, I think you got Hiei's voice spot-on. I mean, REALLY spot on, down to the fine details about his hair and such. Also, I liked the way you set up the paragraphs with all the spacing. It works both grammatically/mechanically and visually as a whole.

It's always pleasing to read your stories because your attention to detail shows that you really know the manga/show, and that's the best for me because Yu Yu Hakusho is my favorite anime and I look for details from the story when I read fanfics. As for the manga vs. the anime, I honestly liked the anime better, but not by much.
What made me not like the manga quite as much was that the manga skimped on some of the best fights in the series (especially in the Three Kings saga). But on the other hand, it delivered in the end with all the extra events like Mukuro's birthday; plus, it included a lot of little details throughout the series about the characters that the anime lacked. So I think it wrapped things up way better than the anime did. It also had a lot more in the beginning too when Yusuke was dead (mostly filler stuff, but still fun). What I love about the anime is that the animation and voice cast were amazing. LOVED the fights. ^^ Also, the soundtrack is wonderful!

Sorry I kinda rambled, but thanks for sharing "Towers" with us. I'll be looking forward to reading more whether you post it here or on FF.net.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Graphospasm In reply to A-C-L [2011-02-14 05:21:48 +0000 UTC]

Funny you should mention the spacing—I was freaking out about it because to post on here, you have to use HTML format and I couldn’t indent my paragraphs. ACK! The OCD maniac in me was screaming in protest; I mean, I’ve grown to accept that FFnet won’t let me have indented paragraphs, but still, disappointment abounds in Graph’s quiet corner of the internet. (*rolls around looking pathetic*) I WANT MY INDENTATIONS, DAMMIT!

Ahem. I agree about the anime fleshing out the Three Kings arc, but for me those details in the manga are more… important? Ah well; I’m obsessed with character and stuff and I’m glad both media exist, because both are wonderful in their own way. And the English dub is actually pretty damn good! SHOCKER! Lol. ^^

SUPER FREAKING SPECIAL AWESOME GLAD you like Hiei’s voice; I’m really stressing over it. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I actually tried to, um, get into character for a day and act like him. It REALLY freaked out my roommate that I kept snapping at her and sticking to monosyllables, but that’s just Hiei I guess. Thanks so much for getting back to me on it; I’ll try to keep him in similar character in future chapters.

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A-C-L In reply to Graphospasm [2011-02-14 07:12:58 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, FFnet's formatting bugs me too. One thing I didn't like when I was new to FFnet was the lack of spacing for time lapses (like you used here); instead, we have to use that line spacer that goes all the way across the page. I've come to actually like the spacer now, but it still doesn't look good to have that line after each paragraph when you're trying to portray memory flashes and the like. Though I've seen some people use dashes or a bunch of periods to show their time lapses instead of that line spacer thing.

I definitely agree that the details that were in the manga were important. It's a shame the anime couldn't have been longer and included more of those neat details at the end. Though one of the things I didn't like that the anime changed was Shigure jumping off the freakin' okaninju after his fight with Kurama. I understand the reason why he did it, especially because he didn't have his "honorable death" after losing to Hiei, but still. Shigure is one of my top favorite characters so that's probably why I feel that way.

Also, kudos for acting like Hiei for a day. ^^ In fact, I think that might be a good tool to use for writing stories when you're fleshing out new characters. I play out scenes in my head all the time, but actually "taking a walk in the character's shoes" can open new doors to a character's personality and they can take on a life of their own.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Graphospasm In reply to A-C-L [2011-02-14 07:33:20 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, the spacer bugged me as well! Now I rather enjoy since it’s easy to see and people don’t miss it and stuff, but still, I miss indents and double-line-spaces. I’ve always wondered why we can’t have either; it probably has something to do with site-internet-coding-junk-that-goes-over-my-head, but still, I just wonder. ^^

I’m going to let you in on a secret: When I rule the world, I’m dedicating a portion of the global budget to a YYH reboot. You’re welcome. (LOL)

Anyway, I agree with the Shigure thing because he was BADASS, and I wish he hadn’t died! But in the manga his death goes unmentioned, so you can always go manga-verse if you want to write about him. ^^

Walking like a character, talk like a character… ugh, old song reference, anyone? Lol! I went mute for a weekend when I first started my character Momo’s story, and lemme tell ya that Hiei had nothin’ on her—I love talking (you may have noticed) and being like her near made me explode from the force of the words I couldn’t say. Seriously. But then when I started talking again I talked very little for a few days, whatever that suggests. I’ll probably try something like that again when I can, because the experience was rewarding to an extreme.

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A-C-L In reply to Graphospasm [2011-02-14 22:26:55 +0000 UTC]

Lol, a YYH reboot would be great! It'd be nice if Funimation could at least get the license to re-dub the movies. (I don't know who dubbed them the first time.) I did enjoy the voices in Poltergeist Report (great movie all around), but the first movie was horribly funny. The plot was minimal (the world is threatened because of a girl despute between Koenma and some brat), but the voices... man, they made Hiei sound like a superhero! As ridiculous as it was, it made me laugh.

In the manga, I think they had Shigure live because I think I remember seeing him in the scene where Kirin explains Muruko's annual depression to the others. I'll have to check back in the last volume to be sure though.

I don't think being mute for a day would bother me too much. As a kid I hardly ever talked, and mostly gave my parents one word answers for a few years. I thought about going mute and just resort to using writing to communicate. (But that was before cell-phones became widely popular so I would've had to learn to write by hand really fast.) There's a character I love in the anime Durarara named Celty who uses a PDA to communicate. (She doesn't have a head so she's mute involuntarily.)

And as for acting as my OCs for a day, most of them are based off my personality so it wouldn't be much different. Drawing girls in general is difficult for me because they all end up looking tomboyish (not a problem for my OCs, but I have troubles when drawing cute/girly girls). Speaking of drawing, I’ve been doing a lot more of that. But as a result, I don’t have time to write very much. My poor fics are being neglected. I try to balance out drawing and writing by working on one of them when I’m blocking in the other.

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Misuzu-PM [2011-02-14 03:10:23 +0000 UTC]

I simply love this.

Hiei's narrative voice is like, "whatever." Totally Hiei. You've got him down.

I'm sad to hear about Mukuro because I adored her, but the whole situation makes perfect sense.

What else can I say but awesome?

Final thing, I definitely enjoyed the manga more myself.

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Graphospasm In reply to Misuzu-PM [2011-02-14 05:27:03 +0000 UTC]

I like Mukuro too, and doing that to her hurt me deeply on a mother-not-wanting-to-hurt-her-child-level. Sadness, sadness...

However, I am happy that the situation makes sense and that Hiei's voice came across clearly! YAY! I was super stressed about the voice issue. Majorly. But I feel better now!

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krrib [2011-02-14 02:57:16 +0000 UTC]

Wow... I can't wait for the rest of the story. You captured Hiei's Pov very well. I could see him thinking/saying all of this. Good work! :3

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Graphospasm In reply to krrib [2011-02-14 05:25:34 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much for the feedback and compliment! I really appreciate it!

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krrib In reply to Graphospasm [2011-02-14 14:52:24 +0000 UTC]

No problem!

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PyroNinja999 [2011-02-14 02:04:07 +0000 UTC]

Everything you write is cool. It just is.

This is no exception. It's awesome.

It makes me sad to imagine Mukuro like that; she's one of my favorite characters. But Hiei's reaction makes so much sense, it's scary. 0.o

You're spot-on with the loneliness and isolation themes. Can't wait to see how this turns out.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Graphospasm In reply to PyroNinja999 [2011-02-14 02:17:56 +0000 UTC]

I was reluctant to write her like that, too, actually, but I rewatched one of the last episodes of the anime and she was just sitting on this weird bed-chair-thing and she didn’t say much, and then I saw the episode where someone commented that Mukuro’s strength is based entirely on her emotions (and Hiei stripped her of her driving anger after he broke her shackles in their fight) and it got me thinking… So yeah. Here are the results of that thinking.

I’m glad Hiei’s reaction made sense! I just can’t see him sitting around to wait for someone who’s given up, and I’m happy to hear it rang true for you. ^^

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PyroNinja999 In reply to Graphospasm [2011-02-14 02:33:49 +0000 UTC]

It definitely promises an interesting story; is someone going to convince Hiei to go back to her? Or is he going to think about for a while, then figure out that he kind-of-sort-of-almost regrets leaving her like that? Is he going to meet someone like her and decide to stay this time, as indirect reparation for his past decisions? Sooooo many possibilities!

*agrees* He's all action; staying would probably just make him angry. And we all know that he's scary enough without being angry. 0.o

^.^ I am so going to buy every book you publish. And I'm convinced that you will rule the world someday. XD Just sayin'.

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j-d-y-44 [2011-02-14 01:50:27 +0000 UTC]

HEHE!!!!!!!!!!! I'M A GINEAU PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEHEHE XD :icongineaupigplz:

Okay now to be serious, because this is a review type thingy.

Okay first off I love how Hiei is in this. He's everything I think he is and well you keep him in character better than most writers ever do. And that's a very ahrd thing to do considering who he is.

I'm very glad you kept the parts of the manga instead of the anime in this since I think it makes much more sense.

Genkai being dead is very sad, but I think it would fit, because if he wasn't I could see Hiei going there to stay because Gankai wouldn't bother him and it would be cool.

I ahve to admit one of my favorite parts of this was: "Fuck Konema." It was short and simple and showed that Konema had never and would never be someone important to him. Because he actually went to visit the others it showed that he cared in some worped way.

Hehe Well that's all I'm gonna say for now. I don't think you want me to go voerboard like crazy and review.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Graphospasm In reply to j-d-y-44 [2011-02-14 01:54:55 +0000 UTC]

Funnily enough, my favorite line in all of this is “Whatever. I don’t really care.” I can hear him sneering it, and I do love it when Hiei sneers. But yeah, even though I don’t think Hiei hates Koenma or anything, I doubt he’d have anything to do with him if he could help it. The whole probation and ‘community service’ he did by aiding Yusuke probably stung his pride too much for him to ever buddy up to Koenma, you know?

Anyway, thanks so much for the feedback; I really appreciate it. =] I’m not sure if I’m ready to write from Hiei’s POV yet since he’s so difficult, but I’m glad this attempt sat well with you!

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j-d-y-44 In reply to Graphospasm [2011-02-14 02:03:04 +0000 UTC]

I think everyone loves when Hiei sneers. hehe Hiei kinda has the whole 'you leave me alone, I'll leave you alone' kinda attitude with Koenma. And I really don't blame him for that one. Yeah I know.

You're welcome He is diffucult, but you pull it off so well.

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