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Description
There was occasional peace.
It was illusive, beautiful, like a rare bird, small and delicate in the big dark world. It was amazing, those short times when the storm was quiet. When the monsters were sleeping. When thoughts no longer pulsed through every inch of her cranium. When it was just her, her and faeries that danced across the walls.
The twisting and twirling bits of metal that dangled from the ceiling grasp the light from the lamp and threw it in random sparkling patches across the whole room, the only room in her home, the only one she needed. Eyes stared, stared down at the floor as the little faeries danced, danced for the young femme seated on her cot and helped her mind reach that ever fleeing state of stillness.
They were empty, those chocolate orbs had no life spark, but it wasn’t a bad thing. Her true self had finally escaped that cursed shell, it danced with the lights, it lived as it should, no cares, no fears. Breathing was calm, so far from the normal rapid inhalation and exhalation. For once she was the picture of serenity.

Still, finally still.
Please, let it last forever.
If not forever, then please let it last a few moments more.
More.
More, please just a minute more...

A bang outside, something fell to the ground, some object, feet hurried in the opposite direction, then it was silent again. But the damage was done, heart leapt, breathe rasped, to her eyes returned her soul and they racked the surrounding with renewed terror. Trapped, trapped again, the faeries’ spell broken, grip tightened on the machete handle in her palm. They were back, the thoughts, the fears; the monsters were awake and tormenting her inner self again; the storm raged anew with equal fury and thunder as before.

“No peace, no peace, no peace...” she huffed in a frenzy of clicks, tears coming to her eyes as she buried her face into her knees that from the start had been tucked against her chest, free arm clasping them even tighter to her.

Sobs slipped from her trembling form, “Never any fucking peace! Never! There’s no such thing!”

I must be pretty stinkin depressed if El is all I can think of; her pain relieves mine apparently, in fact thinking of bad things happening to her makes me smile. I am a sick, sick little bitch. 8| I have no idea what I’m even depressed ABOUT, there’s pretty much no reason other than it’s been a couple months again since I’ve been home. But that’s a really stupid reason and I’m going back in a week for Thanksgiving, WHY ARE YOU SO FINIKY, BRAIN? I don’t want to bug anyone with my angst so I prolly won’t be around IMs unless I’m feeling less, “hurgsadsleepnaow,” because I hate just getting on then being all *sigh* the whole time like a whiny little fuck. Don't ask me what you can do to help me feel better, you can't, only I can beat back with a blunt object the little emo girl currently fingering my synapses. I'll get over it, with the Doobie Brothers' help. Sorry to seem like such an attention whore, also, I just figured I'd share this since it doesn't look like total crap. :U

Hope you enjoy that depro!writing, it’s just a bit unusual for me though, not my normal style. Pretty cool I think, but at the same time I probably won’t use it again anytime soon, it’s a bit hard to unless I’m in the mood. The emo mood.

After describing El’s house in an rp I realized it’s actually pretty damn impressive. D8 She makes these little (and not so little) dangly metal decorations and hangs them from the ceiling and has a flood light (because she’s petrified of the dark) that she pretty much has on at all times when she’s there. So metal + lamp = pretty liiiights. It’s like a frickin disco in there. All we need is pounding music and some illegal substances and we can have a rave. UNCEUNCEUNCEUNCEUNCE

rofl I can still be funny, apparently, even when I want to crawl into bed and sleep for 24 hours straight for no reason.

Her face is so fail, I seriously effed up everything about it. I fail at cots and boxes too, you don’t like, shut up and go away. So much more wrong as well but I find myself not cariiiing. lol El your legs are like toothpicks, how the feck do you run so fast on those lil twigs? She’s like a cheetah er sum shit, doesn’t got a lot of muscle but what she has she sure knows how to use. And damn, I never realized how ungodly pretty you are, no wonder everyone wants to tap that. I did not plan on her markings being so complex, honestly when I just made her I was trying to go simple! hurhurhurmoarfail.

UUUURRG but I wanted to rip my hair out drawing this. Shiiiiit. She has more metal stuff I just didn’t feel like drawing all of them. SO MUCH FREAKING DETAIL I THINK I WILL DIE NOW. Didn’t help I drew this completely on the computer, nothing traditional about it. *slithers into bed*
If I get woken up by sex again I’m bashing on the ceiling and screaming that my grandmother just died or something just to get them to stfu. AND WHY IS IT SO GODDAMN COLD FFFFFFFFFFFF-

I wasn’t PLANNING on making this a textwall but seems I fail at that as well. feh. |c

Description
There was occasional peace.
It was illusive, beautiful, like a rare bird, small and delicate in the big dark world. It was amazing, those short times when the storm was quiet. When the monsters were sleeping. When thoughts no longer pulsed through every inch of her cranium. When it was just her, her and faeries that danced across the walls.
The twisting and twirling bits of metal that dangled from the ceiling grasp the light from the lamp and threw it in random sparkling patches across the whole room, the only room in her home, the only one she needed. Eyes stared, stared down at the floor as the little faeries danced, danced for the young femme seated on her cot and helped her mind reach that ever fleeing state of stillness.
They were empty, those chocolate orbs had no life spark, but it wasn’t a bad thing. Her true self had finally escaped that cursed shell, it danced with the lights, it lived as it should, no cares, no fears. Breathing was calm, so far from the normal rapid inhalation and exhalation. For once she was the picture of serenity.

Still, finally still.
Please, let it last forever.
If not forever, then please let it last a few moments more.
More.
More, please just a minute more...

A bang outside, something fell to the ground, some object, feet hurried in the opposite direction, then it was silent again. But the damage was done, heart leapt, breathe rasped, to her eyes returned her soul and they racked the surrounding with renewed terror. Trapped, trapped again, the faeries’ spell broken, grip tightened on the machete handle in her palm. They were back, the thoughts, the fears; the monsters were awake and tormenting her inner self again; the storm raged anew with equal fury and thunder as before.

“No peace, no peace, no peace...” she huffed in a frenzy of clicks, tears coming to her eyes as she buried her face into her knees that from the start had been tucked against her chest, free arm clasping them even tighter to her.

Sobs slipped from her trembling form, “Never any fucking peace! Never! There’s no such thing!”

I must be pretty stinkin depressed if El is all I can think of; her pain relieves mine apparently, in fact thinking of bad things happening to her makes me smile. I am a sick, sick little bitch. 8| I have no idea what I’m even depressed ABOUT, there’s pretty much no reason other than it’s been a couple months again since I’ve been home. But that’s a really stupid reason and I’m going back in a week for Thanksgiving, WHY ARE YOU SO FINIKY, BRAIN? I don’t want to bug anyone with my angst so I prolly won’t be around IMs unless I’m feeling less, “hurgsadsleepnaow,” because I hate just getting on then being all *sigh* the whole time like a whiny little fuck. Don't ask me what you can do to help me feel better, you can't, only I can beat back with a blunt object the little emo girl currently fingering my synapses. I'll get over it, with the Doobie Brothers' help. Sorry to seem like such an attention whore, also, I just figured I'd share this since it doesn't look like total crap. :U

Hope you enjoy that depro!writing, it’s just a bit unusual for me though, not my normal style. Pretty cool I think, but at the same time I probably won’t use it again anytime soon, it’s a bit hard to unless I’m in the mood. The emo mood.

After describing El’s house in an rp I realized it’s actually pretty damn impressive. D8 She makes these little (and not so little) dangly metal decorations and hangs them from the ceiling and has a flood light (because she’s petrified of the dark) that she pretty much has on at all times when she’s there. So metal + lamp = pretty liiiights. It’s like a frickin disco in there. All we need is pounding music and some illegal substances and we can have a rave. UNCEUNCEUNCEUNCEUNCE

rofl I can still be funny, apparently, even when I want to crawl into bed and sleep for 24 hours straight for no reason.

Her face is so fail, I seriously effed up everything about it. I fail at cots and boxes too, you don’t like, shut up and go away. So much more wrong as well but I find myself not cariiiing. lol El your legs are like toothpicks, how the feck do you run so fast on those lil twigs? She’s like a cheetah er sum shit, doesn’t got a lot of muscle but what she has she sure knows how to use. And damn, I never realized how ungodly pretty you are, no wonder everyone wants to tap that. I did not plan on her markings being so complex, honestly when I just made her I was trying to go simple! hurhurhurmoarfail.

UUUURRG but I wanted to rip my hair out drawing this. Shiiiiit. She has more metal stuff I just didn’t feel like drawing all of them. SO MUCH FREAKING DETAIL I THINK I WILL DIE NOW. Didn’t help I drew this completely on the computer, nothing traditional about it. *slithers into bed*
If I get woken up by sex again I’m bashing on the ceiling and screaming that my grandmother just died or something just to get them to stfu. AND WHY IS IT SO GODDAMN COLD FFFFFFFFFFFF-

I wasn’t PLANNING on making this a textwall but seems I fail at that as well. feh. |c