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Published: 2012-02-12 11:04:19 +0000 UTC; Views: 300; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 5
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It was a quiet autum evening in Brussels. The tide was high, the streets bare, and a certain young journalist and his dog were on their way to the library...AGAIN.TinTin entered the quiet Library as snowy sat outside in wait. "Don't worry snowy, i wont be long." he said.
He wandered over to the Mystery novels section when he accidently bumped into a young lady."Oof!" they both mumbled. Many books spilled out of her arms as she fell to the floor.
"Oh crumbs! Sorry ma'am!" said tintin as he helped her up, "Are you alright?" The young woman stood up a bit flustered, "Yes, im fine. Thank you." she smiled nervously as she bent down to pick up her armful of books. "Here, let me help." said tintin as he knelt down to assist her. She blushed a little "thank you, sir." "No problem!" smiled TinTin as they stood up. he handed her her books "Its the least I can do for a fellow mystery fan!" they both smiled and shook hands "TinTin" said TinTin.
"And you might be?"
"Stella. Stella rose." smiled Stella.
"Are you new here?" he asked.
"Yes, I just moved here from Trafalgar. I love books, and I've heard this town has a great library!"
"Well you're right! I come here as often as possible! They have such gripping novels!"
Stella looked at ground and blushed.
"Yes well, I've already read most of these books..." she said nervously. "That doesn't make me a bit strange does it?"
"How could it?" said TinTin, relived to here that he wasn't the only one who had read all the books "I have!"
"Well that's good too hear." Stella smiled. She looked at a piece of paper in her hand and frowned.
"What is it?" asked TinTin.
"I'm applying for a job here at the library and its important to know where everything is, but there's one book that i just cant find anywhere!"
"What is it called?" Stella handed him the piece of paper pointed to a title circled in red.
" The Clockwork Slaves?" frowned tinitn. "i've never heard of it."
"Well, apparently its been owned by this library since 1850." said Stella.
TinTin stared in confusion at the title.
"Maybe its been misspelled?" suggested TinTin.
"I don't know."said Stella. "But I've been looking for it for a week!"
"The Clockwork Slaves?" TinTin thought as he delved deep into his memory in search of the name.
"hm..."
They sat down and began to flick through random books hoping to find the title, with no success.
10 minutes passed by and still no luck.
"Why do you need this book?" asked TinTin suddenly breaking the silence.
"My sister Victoria had a copy of it when she was young. One day we got in serious a fight and i burnt it. We've never spoken since." replied Stella.
TinTin was shocked at how such a seemingly innocent and shy young lady could do such a thing.
"So when i saw it on the book list," she continued, "I thought I would buy it for her birthday as a peace offering. She was obsessed with the darn thing! I don't know why though. I flicked through it once and all it was was a rhyme and empty pages."
"...oh." TinTin replied.
Suddenly he heard a scratch at the door of the library.
"Oh no! I've forgotten about Snowy!" he said standing up running towards the door. He swung it open and Snowy came rushing in. It had become bitterly cold outside. He jumped up into TinTin's arms shivering.
"Sorry Snowy!" apologized TinTin as he hugged him tightly.
"What a cutie!" said Stella as she rushed over and began too stroke Snowy's soft pelt. He snuggled into TinTin's jacket and closed his eyes.
"Can he stay in here while i help you search for the book?" TinTin asked.
"Of course! I love dogs!" said Stella with a big grin.
"I've got my Scottish Terrier pup in the lounge, he can stay in there with her if you like."
"Thank you." said TinTin. "What do you say, Snowy? Want to make a new friend?"
Snowy looked up at him and licked his cheek. TinTin laughed.
"I'll take that as a yes!"
----
Stella lead TinTin and Snowy into a small lounge room behind the librarians desk which TinTin was unaware of until now.
She set up a bed for Snowy by the tiny fireplace.
"There you go." she said as she placed Snowy on the blanket. "Snug as a bug!"
TinTin looked around the small room and saw a tiny furry ball in the middle of a large blanket lying couch.
"I take it this is your pup?" said TinTin turning as he turned to face Stella. She turned around.
"Oh yes!" she said as she walked over to couch and picked up the small furry bundle. She carried her over to Snowy. TinTin follwed.
"Snowy, this is Pixie, Pixie, this is Snowy."
Pixie uncoiled herself and yawned, then snuggled back into Stella's palms. Snowy tilted his head and sniffed at her. Stella placed her next to him. She snuggled into his warm fur. Snowy looked at her a bit startled, but then licked her and laid his head on top of her tiny body.
TinTin and Stella looked at each other and shared a smile.
"I think they'll be good friends." said TinTin to Stella. She nodded and began too blush again.
"I hope we can be good friends too, TinTin."
He blushed little as well.
"Of course we can."
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so yeah, i just made it up as i went along. heh heh.
what do you think? should i continue?
PLEASE REPLY. EVERYONES OPINION IS IMPORTANT TO ME!
thanks for reading!
♦.♦HarleQuinn♦.♦
Comments: 10
Cousture [2012-02-29 14:11:38 +0000 UTC]
OK, here goes (and remember you asked for it)
This is very good. You do angreat job of playing on the mutual attraction between your characters, it's very well done, very sweet, very charming. And the intrigue surrounding the book is excellent, you're very good at suspense.
What this lacks, in my modest opinion, is descriptions. I always say this to my students. You need to spend more time describing the surroundings, the appearance of the characters, this sort of thing. More adjectives. And your description of the characters should be used to get the readers to feel a certain way about them. You see what I mean?
But hey, this is just my 2 cent, I'm not a writer myself. Keep at it, you have talent my dear Harl!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Harlequinn133 In reply to Cousture [2012-03-01 09:12:20 +0000 UTC]
thank you mr j!
i agree, but my friend HylianGirlYami said that i drag it out to much, so i tohught maybe no...but anyway this is just the first draft so yeah.
by the way...I WANT THAT HOODIE!!!!!!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Cousture In reply to Harlequinn133 [2012-03-01 13:13:27 +0000 UTC]
I thought you might like the hoodie!
Sorry to give you feedback that's totally the opposite of your friend's! Maybe it's just a question of taste. But my favourite writers are the ones who paint me a picture with their words, you know? They give me what I need to have a mental picture of the setting and the character's appearance.
You could use these descriptions to get the reader to feel the mutual attraction between your characters even more strongly, by describing what's alluring about her and him, and by making the library a really private and romantic place...
Anyways, just my two cents. Don't want to put too much emphasis on what needs work because you're good, don't forget that.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Harlequinn133 In reply to Cousture [2012-03-02 06:24:35 +0000 UTC]
oooh...are you talking about my tintin fan fic?
im writing another book called 'The Clockwork Slaves' because my mum reckons that fan fiction is copyright and stuff...
anyway, thank you for everything!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
HylianGirlYami [2012-02-12 16:05:37 +0000 UTC]
Hahahahaha Pixie and Snowy. . . How cute!
And how DARE Tintin leave the poor thing outside?! D:
I got chills at the Clockwork Slaves bit. . .
*shudders*
Can't wait to read more!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Harlequinn133 In reply to HylianGirlYami [2012-02-13 08:23:21 +0000 UTC]
i drew a picture of pixie and snowy i'll post it soon
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
HylianGirlYami In reply to Harlequinn133 [2012-02-13 10:55:02 +0000 UTC]
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
👍: 0 ⏩: 1