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ImpCJCaesar β Dat... Tan
Published: 2013-09-09 17:44:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 674; Favourites: 39; Downloads: 12
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Artist Training Grounds day 25: "Draw a pony at the beach/Draw a pony surfing"Yeah, Rarity again! What a big unexpected surprise! And with unexpected I mean EXPECTED!
And she defeated Dat Crab!
They said: "A needle may be the wrong weapon to use here" or "the sew needle is going to be useless i guess"...
Do you have a ponytail?
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Comments: 123
Nopony is faster than me! ...Maybe Dash, but Ah want ta see her with a carriage before.
*sniff* Ok, Rainbow, that would be a number one place... in my heart at least! *hugs Rainbow*
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On the ground, I have no doubt you'd be the fastest; though having seen Dashie fly at her all-out...that mare is impressive.
Speaking of fast though. *sees the boutique in the distance* Ah-ha! Nearly there! Yeehaw!
Rarity...*returns the hug* So I guess my gamble to go with the truth paid off...and it wasn't too cheesy. Hahaha, I guess I'm not too bad at this fashion thing after all. Too bad he didn't see that one; he eats up stuff like that. Oh well...
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Yes, darling... you're not too bad. Anyway, now I have a set of photos I'm sure you don't want me to show to all Equestria... or someone in particular. So behave yourself and don't ever break my bathtub again. I'm not doing it right now because you melted my heart, but...
*loud rumble*
Uh-oh...
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You're...you're blackmailing me?! *narrows eyes, sighs* Well...I suppose that's fair seeing as the whole bathtub thing.
Even though I wouldn't mind him seeing some of those...especially that last one.
Anyway Rarity, sure, I'll make sure to not be led astray by any evil rubber ducks again. And thanks, I....
Do...do you hear that rumbling? It almost sounds like it's...coming from....
Finally! We made it to the boutique! *hops off the wagon, grabs a box full of corks* Here's hopin' Pinks managed to hold off the water and...
*pauses as I and Apps walk into the door, frowns* Do....do you hear that rubmlin' sound Apps? It almost sounds like....Oh dear Celestia...
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Don't worry, darling. As long as you don't do anything strange, I won't...
*rumble increases*
I'm dead.
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Oh mercy!
*coughs, sputters, spits out water* Ah....ah think we're too late there Apps; you okay there?
*shakes it off, calls out as we head back in* Pinkie! Dashie! Rares! Is everypony alright?! *coughs again*
....so, that loud noise outside the room...that wasn't anything awful...right? *glances, notices water flooding under the door* Oh...well...that's not good. *hears her name* Ryan? Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh...I've got a bad feeling about this like something crazy! I don't think we should leave this room!
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Oh no! My Boutique! Don't go out Rainbow, hold tight on me! There's another rumble...
That was a big boom bang bamblin' 'bout the Boutique! Blame me but being boomed ain't bad!
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A-Another one?! What's happening out there? *gasps at Rarity's tight hug* Okay! I won't go out there but....are we safe in here? Or better yet....is Ryan and whoever is with him safe out there?!
*gasps, grabs Apps' shoulders and gently shakes her* Apps, honey! Come on! Snap out of it! While I appreciate amazing alliteration as much as the next author, now's not the time to get all loopy-doops on me. *gently shakes her again* Come on, ah need some help here because...
*hears rumbling increase again* Oh noes.....wait a minute! Pinkie was at ground zero of that wasn't she?! Pinks! Are you still alright in there?!
*turns back to AppleJack* Come on cowgirl! We need ya in this rodeo otherwise bad stuffs gonna go down!
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Sure sugarcube! She should be safe soon!
All I know is that we can't get out of here- the only way would be the window, but it's an high drop...
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*sighs* Apps is still loopy...*gently pats her cheeks* Come on now, almost back to the land of the non-loopy.
*looks up* Oh hey Pinks! Yer okay.......how? I mean, I guess it was just water and all but...ya look different. You are okay, right?
...have you forgotten Rarity? I'm a Pegasus...I can fly...and carry you? Ya know, out the window without an issue? So, while staying here in a room with you for the rest of our days isn't necessarily terrible, I think I'd rather leave this room so we can see all our friends again....and Ryan...a few of whom might just need our help after that explosion! So get it together! Come on!
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Pappy pony picked a pluck of prickly pluffnuggets!
Yes, I'm fine! We got to get out of here! I know it's fun to have an indoor splashy watery party, but this water is just too much for that!
Oh... sorry, I forgot that little detail... Well, it's time to fly out!
*jumps on Rainbow*
Wait! My gems!
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*bites lip* Forgive me Apps! I only do this to snap ya out of it! *slaps her* Apples are stupid!
*pained look on face* That hurt so much to do and say....I love apples! *cries, sighs* At least yer good Pinks but...wait...when ya say we have to leave do you mean to say there's...more water coming? As in...more than what hit?
Oh hell...*grabs the two of them and makes to run for it* Gang way!!!!
Really Rarity? Your gems? I'm sure they'll survive whatever happens now stay still! Besides, those things were forged under conditions tougher than water right? I'm no egghead like Twilight, but I'm pretty sure that means water can't harm them. Now come on! *starts to fly upwards* I don't think we want to be in here much longer.
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I absolutely love oranges! Apples are for paesants, darling!
Fasteeeeer!
But I could lose them! My gems!
*Now the rumble increases even more, the floor is trembling*
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Oh no! Now she's talking like one of her fancy-pants Manehatten relatives! Apps! Why can't ya just snap out of it and be the apple-loving mare ah love?
*rolls eyes at Pinkie* I'm trying! I might be a human, but carrying two full grown mares is still just a bit difficult ya know?
*feels the floor rumble beneath me* Oh sweet Luna! Right! Faster! *picks up the pace*
What's more important? Those gems, or your life?! Now keep your marshmallow butt clamped around me because I'll be damned if I let anypony I care about get hurt! *flies up and out the window*I can only hope the others got out as well...
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Apples? I surely hate them! I think I have an intolerance... Anyway darling, could you gently put me down? It's very uncouth of you to carry me around, also because you are almost touching me in a very delicate feminine area...Β
Dangity doodle here we goooooo!
*Carousel Boutique is shaken by a third explosion of hot water*
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*sighs* What ahm I gonna have to do to snap you out of it Apps? Kiss ya?
Hold on tight! *leaps right through the boutique door, landing in a pile with the two of them on me just in time to see the third explosion happen* Phew...just made it...
Yes, marshmallow butt....and maybe I do-I mean we do! *clears the window, sees the others and sets down next to them, stares at me* Ya made it! I-I mean...what happened? Why are the three of you all wet? And why does Rarity's boutique look like it's seen better days? And why are AJ's eyes all swirly? What did we miss?!
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Well darling, that was a jump! Maybe a little too rough for my tastes, but efficient.
I don't know what happened to Applejack but I like it! Now, one question for you all... Rainbow said to me that she likes my... "marshmallow butt". What do you think about this?!
Oh darling, that was highly uncouth of Rainbow to say so! But I think to speak for everybody here when I tell you that I love your sweet posterior.
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Yes, we aren't dead! Hooray fer our side...oh...and y'all can get off of me anytime ya want to.
Ya know, no rush I guess since it's oddly pleasant but I can't exactly get up with y'all pinning me to the...
*blinks* "Marshmallow butt"?
It was the heat of the moment, okay?! I needed to get us out of there and she was going on about her gems and....it just kind of slipped out.
I...see. *completely speechless from Apps and Pinks' replies for a few moments* I....uh....what?
Sweet Celestia...but uhm...you are such a lovely shade of white Rares. *narrows eyes* So is it marshmallow? And if you tan would that make you a toasted marshmallow? Would that make Pinkie cotton candy? Dashie skittles? Apps apples?
Mother of Luna....if that was true, then y'all probably taste delicious...
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This is creepy because humans actually eat meat!
Pinkie! You can't simply say these things, darling!
Well, you can always taste my butt if you want, Ryan!
*puts her cutie mark a few inches from your nose*
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Pinks, what the hell?! *looks at the others* Oh, right, well...wait, ya didn't know that Rares? Yeah, humans eat me but good heavens me I'm no savage.
It's not like I would eat mah friends, that's just so many shades of messed up even Discord wouldn't know where to start feeling disgusted!
Though I agree with Apps, ya shouldn't be saying....
*loses focus at suddenly seeing pink pony posterior right in mah face*
What are you doing Pinkie? And why is his face so red?!
*looks aside*....And why do I want to switch places with her?
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Sorry Rainbow! I didn't break the fourth wall before, but I'll do for you now!
*picks Rainbow Dash and places her posterior right on your face*
Oh my, such an inconvenient behavior...
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I....that is....oh buck it!
Oh finally, Pinks got off of me now...ack! *face full of this *
*muffled, trying to breathe* How do I get into these situations...?! Although...all that aside, she does smell like Skittles...weird...
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Are you enjoying the sight, Ryan?
Our little rainbow filly here is certainly enjoying the contact!
Just look how rouge she is! So cute!
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It feels so wrong when he talks...
...but it also feels so right! Sorry Ryan....
*still muffled*Pinkie! It's like somepony taped Skittles to mah glasses...
*tries to calm self by taking a deep breath...doesn't really work out* *sigh*...first Pinks...then Dashie...who next? Apps?
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You asked!
*removes Rainbow Dash*
*picks up Applejack*
You can't do this, Pinkie, a lady like me...
*puts AJ's plot on your face*
And now my sofisticate reputation is ruined! I will never enter the Royalty!
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O.O Pinkie! No! I didn't mean that seriously....umph!
*blinks*Okay, this...this could be worse....ah do like apples....WHAT AM I SAYIN'?!
...oh well, fun while it lasted. Although, now that you mention it AJ...what happened to ya? You're acting all weird and fancy-pants like Rarity does!
So what did you do with the real AppleJack? The AJ I know wouldn't act like this. *grabs her and starts shaking her* Huh? Answer me!
*eye twitches*Please...dont' shake her...that ain't helpin' none y'all. And dammit Rares! Stop laughin'! This ain't funny!
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Get your filthy hooves down!
*begins to scream and kick around hysterically*
Help me, somepony is attacking me!
I'm absolutely not laughing, darling!
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*eye twitches*Stop movin' like that.......stop it....stop...and yes ya are Rares.
Uhm, I know we're all just having fun and being awesome and stuff but...Ryan seems to be reaching a breaking point of sorts.
*eyes twitching furiously*
...yeah...definitely at his limit here.
I....will not....*places hands on Apps' flank and starts lifting her up* Take this nonsense any longer!*stands up fully, holding a now confused AppleJack above his head*I love silly things as much as the next person but I've had more than enough of these flanks in mah face! Yer all a bunch of teases! Rawr!
...we're all doomed now.
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Put me down you... you brute! Somepony help me!
But you didn't try marshmallow flavour...
I'll take care of it!
*places Rarity's tush on your face*
AAAaAaAah!
AAAaAaAah!
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*grumbles* Will ya hold still? Ah'm gonna fall over if ya...wait...what about marshmallow flavor?
Gah! *gasps, falls back at Pinkie's curious actions once more, AppleJack flipping over Rarity and falling back on my stomach* Ugh!
And now all I see is white...really Pinks?*sighs* Really....and ah don't see why y'all are the ones getting all upset. I'm the one getting cute pony butt shoved in mah face.
At this point...I'm just thankful Flutters and T-Sparks ain't around....otherwise it'd probably get much worse...
I really should help him....but...I'm finding this really amusing.
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AAAAaaaaah *hugs Rarity*
*hugs back* Stop shouting and help me get away from here!
S-sure, I guess. Come here, darling. *helps Rairity get off your face*
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What's with all the screaming?!
*suddenly, I see clearly again* The blue skies...white clouds...and the rays of the sun....all these once more greet my vision and not a rainbow's worth of pony flanks.
*just lays there, rather exhausted from the whole ordeal, sighs* I just hope nopony else saw any of that....
*glances at me, pokes me lightly with a hoof* Are you okay Ryan?
*looks at her* I've...I've been better Dashie...
Good, good...*leans down* So then...who's was the best? Not that, ya know, I care but I'm just curious...that's all. Curious!
*narrows eyes at her*....wut?
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Yes, I must admit that it's a good question... we want to know whose posterior was the softest...
...we want to know whose is the best tush.
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*still on the ground, eyes dart from pony to pony as I try to figure a way out of this one. Thinks to self: Okay...what would Darkness Shade do? Hmmm...it's too late to bail out....I can't just say all of them either, they'd see it as a cop-out. Damn....wait! Wait! Yes...that's just crazy enough to work! ...ah hope...otherwise I'd better hope I can run fast!*
*gulps, looks from Pinks to Dashie to Apps and then to Rares before sighing* Well, I've been thinking on it...and I've to come to a conclusion...
MeMeMe! Right?
And that conclusion is that it's just not fair to T-Sparks and Flutters to make such a decision; they haven't had their chance to throw their hat in, so to speak, so how could I possible chose the...best tush as Rares put it, without being fair to all six of you?
.....what?
Exactly Dashie. *slowly stands up, dusts self off* And because of that, ah just can't bring mahself to pick....oh well. *shrugs* That's too bad...*looks at all of them, sweating slightly hoping the gamble paid off as I slowly start walking backwards while they're distracted*
I...I don't...*looks to the others* What does that mean? AJ? Rarity? Pinkie Pie?!
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(Sorry I didn't say it two post ago, but Pinkie is not there! She disappeared the moment you said before that you were lucky that TS and Fluttershy weren't around)
You want to try more plots, is that what you mean?
Very uncouth and barbaric, yet I think he's right.
*Pinkie shows up carrying Twilight and Fluttershy*
I found them, I found them!
*shoves Twilight's magic star in your face*
Great. Anypony cares to explain?
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(Oh, okay, that makes the sense then!...oh heavens, I know where this is going then. XD)
*sputters, waves hand about* What? No! That's not what I'm saying Rares! *frowns* And Apps, what in tarnation is keeping ya from being the cowgirl ya are? That hot water explosion really scrambled yer brain. *sees Pinkie, pupils shrink* Oh no....no, no no...*starts backpedaling trying to get away...but to no avail* Ufff!
*falls back to the ground, Twilight being pushed into mah face* Why....me and mah big mouth....
Don't think I'm enjoying this either T-Sparks....although oddly mah thought of grape seems dead on...weird....*sighs*And why is nopony helping me? Are they enjoying this nonsense? Sigh....
Well Twilight, to make a long story short: We were with Rarity, then some crazy stuff happened involving a demon duck, then we...did some other stuff...and then apparently her hot water reservoir exploded three times and so we had to evacuate the boutique; then somehow Pinkie decided to start sticking our flanks in Ryan's face to determine a lot of crazy things about whose is the best and....
No, that's about it...that brings us to here...
I have to admit, I feel kinda bad for the guy at this point but....
I totally hope mah rump takes first place!
*groans* What is this? Why is this mah life? Yeah, they're cute and mah friends...but pastel pony posteriors in mah face ain't a way to go about. *sighs*
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Oh, there's no need to... I don't wish to have part in this competition... AHHHHH
*Twilight removed, Fluttershy shoved*
He requested precisely for you Fluttershy!
Oh then... I will be happy to help my friend then... of course...
Is this a butt contest? Seriously?
To answer your question, sweetie... I'm still a cowgirl, but why shouldn't I be stylish in my work?
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What? *gasps* Nononononono-*sigh....gasps* Pinks! Don't do say things like that!*grumble* Ya know that's not what mah words meant earlier....crazy pink pony...and why do I smell buttered popcorn?*sighs again, can't believe the argument he's hearing between Rarity and Twilight* So much for hoping T-Sparks would remain logical here and, ya know, HELP ME?!
Ha! Even Twilight's got her game face on for this! *laughs* I never would've expected that from her! But...
It's not even a contest; there's no way Ryan wouldn't choose my flanks as the best pony posterior. I mean, I am an athlete after all so my rump is just so toned and pleasant I can't help but win.
Somepony help me....there's no way this is going to end well for me. *sighs again* And Apps...a cowgirl can be stylish I suppose, but part of the charm of a cowgirl is their rough and tumble nature too....
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*Fluttershy gets up*
Well, Rainbow Dash, thanks to the hard work at my farm I developed the strongest legs around, therefore the most pleasant tush you can find above us.
I took care of mine with the right amount of fitness to keep it soft and toned since I was a filly.
I passed hour sitting to read books, and I read some books on this topic. Mine is certainly the best plot here.
I learned the ancient secrets of the bunnies!
I don't really care about the contest, but my butt is buttered often!
*all together* Who do you choose, Ryan?
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Finally! *stands up, dusts self off once again while mostly ignoring the girls arguing over their firm tushs...and then the dreaded question comes blasting in from all side*
*gulps, looks from pony to pony seeing different emotions in their faces*
Who...who do I choose?
That's right Ryan~ Who's pony plot did you find to be the perfectly pleasant posterior?
*gulps again. I'm so screwed here aren't I? Hmmm...decides to try and stall* B-before ah make mah decision, can I ask a hypothetical?
...a hypothetical?
Yes! Yes....so...hypothetically let's just say I made my decision and ya weren't mah choice: how exactly would ya react?
...how would I react?
And then I'd chase you down for the rest of our lives until I made you love my perfectly toned rump.
Something like that!
*face pales considerably, gulps again* I....see. A-and the r-rest of y'all? How would y'all react if ya weren't chosen?
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My wrath will have no end!
Experiments!
You're goin to LOVE MY PLOT!
I would be so hungry!
I don't mind, a lady is always for sportivity in contests.
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*blinks Well, at least Apps wouldn't hurt me...but everypony else would probably do something horrible to me. shudders I'm boned aren't I?*
Well, that, uh, that's certainly some....huh....some responses.
*gulps* But...oh man, this is tough...ah....ah...*looks at all of them, sighs* Ah can't do it!
Look ladies, y'all are mah friends and...well, I can't exactly say there isn't a few of ya that I might fancy more than that so it's not like I couldn't narrow down a choice but...
*sighs* I can't make that decision because not only would it hurt the feelings of those I didn't chooseβand mah ownself too apparentlyβbut it would most likely cause a rift to form in the friendship y'all share.
*blushes, looks away* Y'all have got really nice flanks okay? And they each reflect the way that you are, your personality, your habits, and well, what makes ya you. So, I can appreciate the variety that gives. *blushes further*
*sighs, smiles sheepishly at them* So, unless yer gonna hold a gun to mah head, I can't make a decision knowing full well it would hurt mah friends I didn't chose.
I'm sure that's not the answer y'all were lookin' for, but it's the only one I can think of that doesn't hurt somepony.
....*not really sure what to say to that seeing as she didn't expect an answer like that one*
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Don't worry, Ryan. Of course nopony is going to hurt you if you just tell the truth. We have all exaggerated a little bit, but we're and will always be friends. No matter who's got the best plot. I can tell you girls that your tushes are all fit and dazzling. I'm sorry if we put you in such a mental pressure, Ryan.
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Oh Apps, I know that; it's just y'all can get kind of carried away at times. Sometimes it's funny...*glances away* Other times it's terrifying. Heh.
Well, it was just some harmless fun after all.
*coughs at Pinkie's insinuation, blushes deep red*
Pinks! Ahem! Uhm.....good heavens.
Well, I mean, it wasn't the worst thing that could happen with mah time; I mean, what guy or stallion finds his day going from posing for a fashionista to helping prevent a disaster with a party gal to running away from said disaster to suddenly getting the cute rumps of all his friends shoved in his face?
I can think of worse things to happen so I mean, so what if it is pretty much a tie between Apps and Dashie for my decision? And if I had to narrow it down, even though I do love me some apples, Dashie's enthusiasm and poorly hidden crush on me are pretty adorable and flatterin' ta be honest which means I'd pick her.
*shrugs* No big deal, right?
*notices it has suddenly got very quiet, looks at his friends* R-right ladies? *turns to Rainbow* Dashie?
....*too busy realizing a few things: namely I know about her crush, and secondly that she was picked the winner*
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...that's a good reason to give her the prize. Still I think you are making her win because also you have a crush on her.
I ate too many cakes recently, I knew I wouldn't win, but contests are fun!
Love's in bloom here...
Personally I would have voted for Rainbow Dash too...
Well, I'm glad I took the second place!
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Yeah, I thought so too. *gasps* Rares! *blushes*
*snickers at Pinkie's reasoning* Well, ya gave it yer all so that's what counts right?
*chokes on words at Fluttershy's insinuation* I...that is...I can't....well....maybe...
*not even thinking about what I'm saying* I know T-Sparks! It really is just so nice...and the colors are so vibrant! *now realizes what I just said, glances at Dashie*
*far too excited and embarassed over everything that's happening to make any other noise than a very pleased squee sound*
Is...is she gonna be okay everypony? Hmmm...and well, that shouldn't have been a surprise since I do love me some apples! It really is a close one between ya two...that's why it was so hard to pick a winner to begin with but hey, silver is nothing to sneeze at.
*glances at Dashie's unmoving form again* So, with that all settled...uhm...what do we do about Dashie? She's...*pokes her* Kind of unresponsive now...and it worries me.
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Come on darling, it's your moment. *softly pats Dash, no effects* Oh, this is going to be very uncouth by me, but it needs to be done! *spanks Dash's flank*
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*jumps forward* AJ! What the hell? Don't be swatting mah...*realizes in her forward movement she's glomped on to me*
*looks up at me* So...uhm...Ryan...I...well...I win right so...that...that means I get a prize right? And well...I...it's not exactly a secret anymore that I'm kind of...kindofsweetonyou! So....so! And...if...
*smirks* If?
If I heard right...you...might maybe feel the same way?
*blushes mashelf* Uhm...I...possibly might've let that slip.
Cool...cool...so...as my prize could I...maybe....haveakiss?
Ohmygosh,ohmygosh,ohmygosh,ohmygosh! I totally said it!
*blinks at the blushing mare latched on to me, glances at the others as I consider her suggestion, before smirking, taking her face into my hands, and kissing her*
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*slowly breaks the kiss, though notes Dashie hasn't let go of her hold on my person* Uhm...Dashie...Dashie-kins? *sees the face Rarity is making and starts to giggle* Earth to Dashie, ya alright up there?
...squee! That first prize wasn't just twenty percent cooler...it was two-hundred percent cooler.
I'm glad to see ya approve...*notes she still isn't letting go* Not that, ya know, I'm complain' about having your soft, warm body latched on ta mine but...I can't exactly move about with ya doing that hon.
Oh! You-you're totally right about that! I....I'm not sure what came over me. *releases her hold on me...though she doesn't hesitate to sidle up against me before looking at her friends* ...what?
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