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InfinityOnAString — Class clown
Published: 2012-08-14 23:26:55 +0000 UTC; Views: 220; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 2
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Description
I know a boy.He is laughs, jokes,
and nonsense.
He is decorated with
confetti, cigarettes
and excessive alcohol.
They all look right at him,
but they don't see.
They see shiny eyes, I see
eyes full of tears trying
not to fall out.
His heart is full,
and he needs someone to
spill it to.
But this boy doesn't talk,
he just laughs.
He's mixed words,
he's Asia, the mighty US,
and Latin America.
He is lonely,
and he can't admit.
He's homesick,
but he never had a home.
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Comments: 31
Excellent. I love relatable poems
Of course... it's relatable in a depressing way... but...
I don't think there is anything to change here.
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thank you hun, it's nice to see you around again! how are you doing??
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Welcome!
You wanna know? Check your journal that I just commented on haha
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Hahaha just did (:
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I hope he knows you wrote this about him. It would mean a lot to know that someone cares to know something about him. People used to ask me what it was like growing up as a Lighthouse Keeper's son, with no one around to play with. They would be amazed that a child could grow up with such lonliness, and I didn't know how to tell them that I was never lonely. I didn't know how to tell them because, as a child, I never even knew what lonely was. But when I grew up, I learned. Lonliness is not being alone when you know that people who aren't even there care about you. Lonliness is being surrounded by people and knowing that not one of them would notice if tomorrow you weren't there.
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I wish I could tell him, but I really can't.
Writing is my coping mechanism and I try to keep it from my real life relationships. With a few exceptions. He does know I care and I told him it shouldn't embarrass him to talk about how he feels every now in a while. And if he feels like talking about it that I'll always be here to listen even if it doesn't seem like it. He's a great guy, it's a shame. Language barriers suck, I think that's his worst problem.
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I wish him the best too.
Im one of those people who when faced with an embarrassing or rather hurtful situation I'll laugh and act silly, I know how he feels.
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I do the same thing, when my friend told me her aunt was dying of cancer I had to hold my laughter because I get really nervous when I don't know how to support someone and I laugh, I felt awfully bad.
He'll be ok, though. He seems like a strong guy.
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well, if you cant laugh about your mistakes, it kind of makes it worse on you, you know? :/
and yeah, its terrible ;^;
I hope so.
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you been okay lately?
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Me? Yes. How could I possibly not, life's perfect.
(still can't decide if i'm being sarcastic or optimistic)
Ugh, yes. I'm doing just fine. My best friend hates me because I called her a hypocrite and she either hasn't been online for a week and something or I'm blocked from facebook, msn, dA and tumblr... if that's even possible.
Then hmm I'm doing fine with the rest of my friends unless we count Matias as one because he behaved like an hysterical bitch today and one day I'm gonna lose my patience and god it will be fun. I'm doing fine with Herless but I wish he would be sweeter and I would be colder... for a change.
I just hate being the silly dreamy idiot. And I feel like if he could be a bit warmer every now and then, then I could be a bit colder and the balance of the universe would be restored. But that would be asking him to be someone he's not and I love him just like he is, a stupid asshole who can't fucking dream enough xD
My grades are shit and hell will unleash when my parents find out. I wish I could throw my laptop out the window and do something but if it's not the laptop, it's the tv, and if it's not the tv, it's the ipod and if it's none then I just sit there staring blankly at the floor. I'm getting lazier and lazier and I hate it.
But I'm honestly doing fine. I mean, I'm happy.
Sure, I get annoyed by half the things that happen during the day but I've always been that way so I suppose it doesn't matter haha
Sorry for the kind of rant, how are you doing?
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dont apologize, you listen to all of mine without even blinking, and your my friend. so shutup. I mean dont.
take your time, sometimes im not even sure (;
I know what its like. Its like my mantra when Im around people know, dont you know? [dontletitshowdontletitshowdontletitshow]. maybe someone showed him what happens to dreamers. or he could have been born that way...but either way, he's better off. Its painful to dream, and people like you and me just cant help it (: have you talked to him about it? maybe you should try being more selfish. and I get the laptop thing to. You would be amazed how hard it is to get out of bed nowadays [worse than before]. now, I not only wake up exhausted, going to sleep is a chore. Im getting nightmares left and right, and Im skipping meals. Yesterday I only ate dinner. i feel like Im dying slowly. I never leave home except to go to the library on mondays. No advice there, I need plenty myself. about your friend..she shouldn't be mad that you called her a hypocrite. everyones a hypocrite. common sense.
I hope you are happy, and it matters a lot.
taking the time to say this again, dont ever apologize to me for ranting.
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We've talked about it and I get him, I understand. I even wish I could stop dreaming sometimes but it's just sad. I prefer to dream and then watch everything go wrong than never having dreamt it. The first step to have is to dream. If you don't dream, then you have nothing. It's painful, but it's a part of life.
Oh you shouldn't be skipping meals D: you'll have less and less energy and then you'll become absolutely lazy and you won't even go to the library on mondays.
I know she shouldn't be mad, but she is. I don't want to apologize because I don't feel like I should but I don't want to stay like this either. I know she's not going through the best of times but that doesn't mean you get to hang out with the people you supposedly hate and then tell me you don't have time to do something with me ): I wish she'd get it. I don't get it, I know she shouldn't hate her classmates and shit but god, you don't have to hang around them after school either. Do whatever you want with your life and if you really are friends then great! But don't be around them smiling like and idiot and then come and talk to me about how much you hate them because that's plain stupid. SBNWEKFNWELKG. I know we're all hypocrites at some level, but I just can't stand people who are hypocrites when they could chose not to be, I always try to speak my mind and say exactly what I think or I just don't talk about it but I don't go around acting all happy and stupid with the people I hate.
Thanks, love <3
Is everything alright on your side of the screen?
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i know how it is, but such a thing can kill you if your not strong enough. Im glad you understand eachother though~ and sweety, skipping meals does nothing to my energy levels. actually, skipping meals makes it easier to focus. Im already as lazy as i can be, any more and Id be dead. i think you underestimate it, its that bad :/ if you have nothing to apologize for, dont. if she loves you, she'll miss you and realize how stupid she was. She's being a bitch, thats what it is. dont tail her. let her know how you feel and let her come to you. I hate people like that. I really do. I hate them too, but I think that at least im honest about being a hypocrite and Im trying to change it. I hang out with people i hate too sometimes but for different reasons...my side of the screen? well, My body is weak, my brain is fried, and I feel like im dying slowly because of my lack of activity and motivation. I.feel.like.Im.dying. and I cant do anything about it right now. I want a freaking gym membership and its so expennnsiiive. anywho, other than that im trying to mentally train myself for school life. yeah. we start on september 7th this year. Im going to go looking pretty, keeping my extream emotions and awkward fangirling to myself, take a book with me everywhere, and apply myself where I have to and thats that. I'll make friends with people who want to be friends and the rest can honestly kiss my ass cause im tired of hanging around people who dont even acknowledged me unless I act like a stupid ditz of a girl. If they tell me they liked me better then, ill kill them. sorry, im kind of tense ^^'
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I'm one of these idiots that believes you have to live every part of life to the fullest. Not in a "drink, take drugs, have sex and never have regrets" kind of way but in a "enjoy even the saddest parts, because there's beauty even in those". everyone goes through shit but people should learn that they don't have to avoid it because after all the shit is over you're left with very good friends that supported you through it all, so it's worth it.
I didn't know that, you should really try to be more active though, I'm sure you can. I honestly can't imagine how bad it is /: I'm lazy but I have my activeness attacks so.. yeah.
I just can't help it, yesterday I was having a great time and then she came and I said hi because, ok, let's face it: I was high as fuck. But still I wanted to make it a bit better and she said high but then she gave me this death glare and ignored me. I was having a great time and the moment she walked in I just couldn't anymore. And she didn't even try to have fun, she just brought alicia down and made Lucia mad because of that so after she came in there were 3 sad girls that were having fun 5 seconds ago. I don't know what it is about her but she always does that, there's always someone feeling for her and she doesn't even appreciate it because to her she is "lonely" I mean come on, if she came to me yesterday I would've talked to her all night trying to make her feel a bit better and Alicia did the same and Herless did that for five fucking years or more. People get tired. She had her ballet presentation yesterday night and I was supposed to go but I didn't, she has it again today I think but my parents won't let me go and I feel kinda shitty about that. Besides, I know I shouldn't apologize but I know she's going through a rough time (as usual) and I can't help but think I should be there for her. And I am, but I won't look for her, if she comes to me then I'm still here but she has to learn I'm not always going to go running after her. I don't even know what to think, everything seems wrong. Apologizing seems wrong, talking seems wrong, not talking seems wrong, being here seems wrong, not being here seems wrong and she's someone else to me, she's being so unreasonable I don't think I know her. I mean, that "you're a hypocrite" has been waiting to come out for three months or more and I didn't because I knew this would happen but there's always something she's doing that makes me mad. Ughgdfjvnksalbjflw. Ok.
Don't worry I get it. And I hate gyms but you can make yourself an exercise routine and do it every day at home. I did that for a month or two and it worked. School sucks big time. I'm sure you'll do fine though. You know what they say "Quality before quantity" you might not be surrounded by a thousand friends if you do that but at least the ones that will be around you will be true friends. Just be yourself, everyone's worst mistake in highschool is acting like someone they're not. I know sometimes people have to do it because society and shit but hell, we're society. If we stop it then others will and there's always going to be hypocrites but it's nice not being a part of those two-faced bitches (: If you do kill them, give me a call, I have a great place to bury corpses (;
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I know how it is. something always comes out of nothing and theres always beauty in sadness. and its good that you cant imagine it, and lets hope you'll never be able to. its terrible, I am going to die early and this bed has become my coffin. I've tried. I want to excersize, feel good about myself and lose weight. a lot of weight. then really, you shouldn't be around someone like that. I think you should tell her streight and go where it takes you, this girl needs to know the effects she has on people.
I've tried to do it at home, Im probably going to take a detour everyday after school before I get home and walk places and stuff. I dont know. and a diet. And I dont care how many friends i have, I care how many of them are humoring me and how many are people I can trust and how many are just waiting to stab me in the back. I just want to have fun. you said it, Im tired of BEING a two faced bitch. [I was the nicest, sweetest, most trusting person freshman year because I forgot how mean people are, sophmore year was me realizing it and switching in between sweet doll and ghetto bitch. It was not fun.] and I think I shall (; lets hope it doesn't go to that though, shall we P: <3
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Oh hun, you should really do something about it, you can't let time slip away just like that. This is coming from someone who woke up at 2pm and just got from bed but hey, it's Sunday! Put an alarm on your phone or wherever for different things you'd like to start doing and promise yourself you'll get up and do them when the alarm goes on, little by little you'll get used to it.
I just don't want to. It goes against all my "here for you no matter what" bullshit. I don't like leaving people and that would be like leaving her. She needs someone by her side who will stand all this shit for once and I'd like to be that person for her. Sure, it's probably going to kill me before it does her any good but maybe one day she'll look back on it and she'll appreciate me being there, you know? I sound nuts, I know. But she's been there for the most part and I owe her. I'm pretty sure she knows, people tell her all the time but she makes everything absolutely tragic. I'm pretty sure you know her "begginermay.dA". The littlest thing is hell and then she cries, starves, cuts and loses sleep. I don't want her for her or for anyone but she became such a fatalist person. She should get help. She really should but I just don't know what to do with her.
I understand, been there done that. Screw them, really. Better alone than in bad company. You'll make true friends and the parasites will slowly go away when they see you just don't care about their shit anymore. If someone messes with you just tell them to fuck off because it's not going to get to you again and just ignore them, sure it's hard but it's worth it. I learned to tell people exactly what I think when needed and to shut the fuck up when I should. And it sure works (:
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I dont have an alarm whatsoever at the moment. and my phone desided to jump out of my pocket and get lost in a septa bus to live his dream as a wanderer. but Im hoping by the time school starts Ill have one, or there is no chance Im getting up.
and gosh, I love you. Why couldn't you be my best friend, seriously. Your amazing and I wish I had the chance to know you in real life, you'd have been a great person to be around and she's totally lucky to have you. If she doesn't get it, Im going to have to tell her one of these days that we can switch places. and yeah, I know her as begginermay. I didn't know that was her though. she sounds like someone I know. I cared about her, hell, even care but I've never liked her. goodluck, people like that are a handful when you care about them.
trust me, Im sure to get my message straight this year. I wont give myself a reason to apologize or be embarrassed anymore. Thank you (: <3
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Well, whenever you get one try out what I told you, it's working for me
We're better now, I texted yesterday night apologizing for not being able to go to her presentation and she replied, we talked for a bit but she didn't say hi today at school. I don't know, I did all I could, it's on her now. She's nice... she's just I don't know, confused? She needs to figure herself out. I love you too honey, you can be my best friend <3 I love you so much. And I'm not all good either 
Anyway, your letter never got here D:
Good for you! 
No problem sweetie <3
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okay, Ill try <3
well, good for you. Thats that, its up to her now. I understand. there are just some people who like living in that little space so much they dont want to get out. and I was going to ask you about that! Im going to have a chat with my therapist because its supposed to be there >:I I'll try sending you another one, lets hope it gets there D:
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I couldn't just let her go, ugh, I suck. I hope she does manage to get out of that space though, because she either gets out of it or she dies in it /:
You show him/her!! Haha I repeat: the post office here is shit, so that's probably what happened. Ok hun, thank you, I hope it gets here too D:
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you never suck, its against your nature. true, true, I wonder if she knows that.
its a her P: its okay, she might have forgotten too (: ill check and also send you another. but I have to say, im never good at writing letters and my handwriting sucks!
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Oh hahaha I wished. I suck for the most part, but I learned to laugh about it xD eeh, I'm pretty sure she does know, she just doesn't know how to change that and I don't know either.
It's two of us then, dear. It's alright, there's no hurry anyway (:
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hahaha xD shutup, Im right P: and that makes the three of us.
great, that makes me feel better :I
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Hahahaha no one knows xD
Yup, feel better, it's an order. u_u
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