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Description
"Shallow, shallow little girl..."

A pair of tear-whelmed eyes stared, blurring their sight of the world. Oh how shallow, yet so dark and hollow.

This girl tried to be someone she's not, she tried to change so many times for better; all attempts failed, becoming a mask of glass – transparent and fragile. She was lacking in self confidence, if it was her own abilities, her lifestyle or her beauty; She had none, she was constantly afraid which made her lash out, she was awkward with society and knew of its terrors and rejections which caused her to anger herself more only to cry and
whinge about it despite her own selfish ways.

She had a girlfriend with many flaws, but she looked past them; she loved this girl truly but she didn't. She loved her more when they weren't together, she didn't know if it was because of herself or if it was just how it was; she ended up falling for males that she had little connection to make up for the lack of romance and strength in her relationship. Her girlfriend was wonderful to her, always telling her she was beautiful and amazing but it made her feel worse about herself because she couldn't accept these words of kindness. These words were stab wounds to her barbed wire heart; its cold and
distance to the world where she'd rather live in her own wonderland.

This girl was disgusted with herself by the way she acted towards her friends at time; she had a friend about 17... He was like her brother, they were close – the trio... she, he, and her girlfriend but she felt out of place and awkward there, sometimes she wanted to scream at him to get lost or even just burst out crying. Sometimes she felt left out because of the times the two would do stuff without her, without even notifying her until her girlfriend told her days later. This made her more jealous, feel more insignificant and bury her being deeper in wrath and insanity.

The girl had issues, mainly with her sexuality. She was fed up of people boasting about been gay but she hated homophobia; sure, she was bisexual or at least that's what she thought – her mother had seen a spiritualist and the girl was highly intrigued by these sort of practices as well as the scientific and religious way of the world even though she was hypocritical against most religion as she began to notice the Old Testaments' demands, she recently dismissed these. This spiritualist pictured a good life for the girl except it wasn't with her precious 'Alice of Wonderland', her 'White Rabbit' – it was with a complete stranger and this displeased her; The two had their children, their marriage, their engagement, THEIR house down to the last spec of matter that created their future. It came crashing down once more did reality.

She also had gender issues; She constantly wished to be a boy, she felt maybe her life would be changed, maybe she would finally discover happiness that lasted more than the hour but then there was times she was glad to be female... she didn't understand this, was she transsexual... no, that's not right. Maybe gender-queer?
Her mother dismissed this childishness as the desire to be a butch lesbian. She believes nothing wrong with that but she definitely did not want to be one, especially with her scrawny and lanky stature.

Her parents gave her some grief, not lots, just the expectations; she never had to lift a finger to a single chore, a single meal but when she hit thirteen about a year ago she was expected to cook herself, to do her chores; she still can't do these – she just can't fit them into the routine she was used to for 13 years. Her father expects highly of her, it's the pressure and stress as well as her own mind that boggles this, along with the fact she stresses about the smallest score, the tiniest mistake and complains and withers away under what she believes is the biggest mistake; Her birth and path she was born.
The girl wants to be the one people see behind a screen; Confident, Proud, Beautiful, Strange yet Lovable and a charitable, anger-less person...
But she's just a selfish, hollow shell of a wannabe-male.

Shallow, shallow little girl.

Description
"Shallow, shallow little girl..."

A pair of tear-whelmed eyes stared, blurring their sight of the world. Oh how shallow, yet so dark and hollow.

This girl tried to be someone she's not, she tried to change so many times for better; all attempts failed, becoming a mask of glass – transparent and fragile. She was lacking in self confidence, if it was her own abilities, her lifestyle or her beauty; She had none, she was constantly afraid which made her lash out, she was awkward with society and knew of its terrors and rejections which caused her to anger herself more only to cry and
whinge about it despite her own selfish ways.

She had a girlfriend with many flaws, but she looked past them; she loved this girl truly but she didn't. She loved her more when they weren't together, she didn't know if it was because of herself or if it was just how it was; she ended up falling for males that she had little connection to make up for the lack of romance and strength in her relationship. Her girlfriend was wonderful to her, always telling her she was beautiful and amazing but it made her feel worse about herself because she couldn't accept these words of kindness. These words were stab wounds to her barbed wire heart; its cold and
distance to the world where she'd rather live in her own wonderland.

This girl was disgusted with herself by the way she acted towards her friends at time; she had a friend about 17... He was like her brother, they were close – the trio... she, he, and her girlfriend but she felt out of place and awkward there, sometimes she wanted to scream at him to get lost or even just burst out crying. Sometimes she felt left out because of the times the two would do stuff without her, without even notifying her until her girlfriend told her days later. This made her more jealous, feel more insignificant and bury her being deeper in wrath and insanity.

The girl had issues, mainly with her sexuality. She was fed up of people boasting about been gay but she hated homophobia; sure, she was bisexual or at least that's what she thought – her mother had seen a spiritualist and the girl was highly intrigued by these sort of practices as well as the scientific and religious way of the world even though she was hypocritical against most religion as she began to notice the Old Testaments' demands, she recently dismissed these. This spiritualist pictured a good life for the girl except it wasn't with her precious 'Alice of Wonderland', her 'White Rabbit' – it was with a complete stranger and this displeased her; The two had their children, their marriage, their engagement, THEIR house down to the last spec of matter that created their future. It came crashing down once more did reality.

She also had gender issues; She constantly wished to be a boy, she felt maybe her life would be changed, maybe she would finally discover happiness that lasted more than the hour but then there was times she was glad to be female... she didn't understand this, was she transsexual... no, that's not right. Maybe gender-queer?
Her mother dismissed this childishness as the desire to be a butch lesbian. She believes nothing wrong with that but she definitely did not want to be one, especially with her scrawny and lanky stature.

Her parents gave her some grief, not lots, just the expectations; she never had to lift a finger to a single chore, a single meal but when she hit thirteen about a year ago she was expected to cook herself, to do her chores; she still can't do these – she just can't fit them into the routine she was used to for 13 years. Her father expects highly of her, it's the pressure and stress as well as her own mind that boggles this, along with the fact she stresses about the smallest score, the tiniest mistake and complains and withers away under what she believes is the biggest mistake; Her birth and path she was born.
The girl wants to be the one people see behind a screen; Confident, Proud, Beautiful, Strange yet Lovable and a charitable, anger-less person...
But she's just a selfish, hollow shell of a wannabe-male.

Shallow, shallow little girl.