HOME | DD
jonzoiplu — Trimurti: A Conception
Published: 2008-01-30 17:51:44 +0000 UTC; Views: 1358; Favourites: 23; Downloads: 14
Redirect to original
Description
foot on throne:this fist of heart
hides in the hollow
of its hold:
rabbit
string
two veils
magic or slighted
palm – a torn scarf
of chest with red footprints
hop-hopping away
knot in utero, a circlet
of vein dangles about neck.
hang the hunted?
father! cut the -
a world
swallows
the chair
bird in hand:
the beat of breath
wavers where a wire
is virus in the tree:
three parts untamed
sparrow
two ravenous
of one limp wing
the notes squeeze
through bars of rib
prying at the clef
to be heard. a shriek
peers into the world
two fresh sockets
emptied of sight
then song
to be free
unholy corpus:
a murmur wedged
in the bodies
of fire and fish:
pale wave
unjust tempest
phoenix
of wrinkled flesh, shifting
shore of bone: gnawed
hook in jaw
a storm is strong
without a guide
smoldering, a sailor
sings; a man sinking
noose in hand
into the black
belly, drifting
a crooked grin.
Related content
Comments: 29
Hi, i found your piece on Deviant Art tumblr and really enjoyed it. i was starting to get a little down because I didn't think I could connect with anybody that's living. your poem was that good.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
connection granted. mood rising.
(thanks)
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
this is ingenious.
i love this cut off line: "father! cut the -"
amazing work.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Very Eliot-sounding...Which you probably know.
Would sound excellent read aloud. I love the placement of each line and I love the flow of each line going in and out...Very beautiful.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
probably thanks to the detached esoteric voice. (it was written with sonics in mind 
thank you (:
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
can't say i understand all the allusions, but the tone comes through, none the less.
placement, as always, is a strength.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
i like the way you keep your lines short...it makes them powerful
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ever read A Razor's Edge? I don't recall the details but there's quite a bit of discussion about Hinduism and its treatment of the Infinite in there. Also a light but wry treatment of the art/pragmatism conundrum, if conundrum it is. Worth a look.
This is very Eliotean, especially 'crooked grin'. The whole last stanza, really. Very 'Death by Water'.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
can't say i have. i'm re-reading 'for whom the bell tolls' amongst other things. it's been a very extracurricular week for me.
and "passing through/by fire" hopefully, with the mahabhuta and all. thanks (:
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
seemed kind of Eliot to me.. or i could just be in a wierd mood
but i liked the effect of the cut-off sentence of dialogue "father! cut the -"
the whole trinity thing really worked for me too - i mean, i'm not acquainted with the names or the characteristics of the three deities, but i like how they're represented by three really cool (and different) things.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
i guess there's an element of his modern esoteric impersonal/detached style in there.
brahma, vishnu, and shiva - the gods of creation, maintenance, and destruction. i've been acquainting myself with hindu mythology recently since i never learned it in school explicitly; though i'm told they're not really a 'trinity' in the christian/nicene sense of the word, but more of an association, like zeus, poseidon, and hades if that makes any sense.
thanks (:
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
You are a poetic genius, my friend. My attempts at verse are pale compared to your talent.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
:giant-orange-eating-monkey:
(poor monkey)
smooth talker, kind sir.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Smooth Operator (he's a smooth, operator... smooth operator) like the song...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
jon rules. have a cookie
it's perfect. the poem, not the cookie. but the cookie is good too, i swear.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
*grins*
(not just because of the cookie)
thank you (:
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
awesome. sweet little shape too. Trimurti seems familiar, is it a hinduist thing? I didn't pay too much attention in world religons.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thanks (:
the trimurti consists of brahma, vishnu, and shiva, while mahābhūta encompasses the classical elements. so yeah, 'a hinduist thing' P:
(never took world religions. just... read a lot.)
👍: 0 ⏩: 0