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logonomicon — Falling
Published: 2009-02-05 02:29:22 +0000 UTC; Views: 77; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description Falling.
I can see the sky around me rush up,
overwhelming,
controlling.

Falling.
I can see the ground rise up against me,
threateningly,
tauntingly.

Falling.
I hear the air run past me, itself fearful,
screamingly,
hurriddly.

Falling.
I feel the nothingness consuming me,
overwhelming,
controlling.

Falling.
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logonomicon - Anger Inside
Comments: 3

malz110 [2009-02-09 20:07:55 +0000 UTC]

fabulous,
but you might want to fix "hurriedly". nn;;
also no offense but you should probably take off the mature warning, because it's darker than anything you've written, but not quite THAT dark. more people will see it that way and besides it's a little decieving.
keep writing, i enjoy your poetry. =]]

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

logonomicon In reply to malz110 [2009-02-09 20:13:30 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. I've always been horrible about careless errors when I'm typing and writing "hurriedly".

And you think I should? If you think so...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Da-Squid [2009-02-06 13:37:00 +0000 UTC]

I like it. It wasn't dark at all though. ;D

And NCIS is the best show ever.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0