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m32 — Fear
Published: 2004-10-26 16:35:32 +0000 UTC; Views: 111; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 10
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Description
well the girl says she's lonelyshe is feeling afraid
she's afraid of tomorrow
and what the future may bring
she is just all so frightened,
she cannot even see
the boy loves her so sweetly
and he wants her the best
she's afraid to embrace him
she's afraid of the end
she's afraid that they'll break up
then so she closes her heart
she tells him there's no time
and she says it's too late
the deadline is nearing
she's afraid to commit
and he loves her so deeply
and it hurts him so much
she's just trying to protect them
from their future apart
so she looks to the future
and neglects him today
he is feeling abandoned
she doesn't even want to begin
'cause they both know they'd make it
and they both know they can
and he knows they'd be happy
if she wasn't afraid of success
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Comments: 4
After reading the draft and looking this over, I think you've made all the changes I would have suggested, especially the removal of personal pronouns.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
This is very well written. I can relate to it, as well....my first relationship was very similar. +fav indeed
Good stuff
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks! I'm gald someone actually *likes* my writing. You made my day.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0