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m32 — My Michelle
Published: 2004-11-24 01:16:19 +0000 UTC; Views: 110; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 5
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Description
She never dies,She never cries,
She'll never tell,
She's my Michelle.
I look to the Bishop,
'e says I'm doing well -
"Unless you stop,
You'll go to hell."
She'll never tell,
She's my Michelle.
I made her mind,
Taught her to be so kind
I gave her a hot bod'.
Hey, look at me. I'm playing God
I look to the Prince,
He tells me that she's nice,
He doesn't think twice,
As I tell him the price.
But she'll never tell,
She's my Michelle.
I coded her mind,
And I told her to always be kind.
I built her a hotrod bod',
Now, you look at me, I'm playing God.
She's my machine, I made her live,
And all those fools are so naive
Of all the things I've put her through,
And all the things I made her do.
I know she'll never tell,
I made her mine,
She's my Michelle
None of those fools will ever know,
That I primed this whole freak-show.
She'll do anything if I give a nod,
But they'll never know, that I'm playing God
* * *
Every time I see at her,
I feel a part of me die,
For the things I did to her,
I kneel down, and cry.
Why was I such a fool?
How could I think her a tool?
The worst thing is that she'll never tell;
I made her like that. She's my Michelle.
I stare into her cold digital eyes,
And confide in her, my sins and my lies.
I apologize, and watch her slow nod,
Please, don't look at me; I have been playing God.
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Comments: 7
I love the way the mindset of the narrator changes from beginning to end. Very strong last line, very cool. One of the things I noticed is that you have some kind of simplistic rhyming at times.
Also,
"'e says I'm doing well -"
'e instead of he? I am not sure why you do that, but I guess I'm missing something.
I'll add anything later if I think of it. Thanks for looking at my poetry!
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Wow 
Firstly, i'm going to say what i see, and what it means to me, so i hope i do not offend you if it is not what it means to you, this is obviously special, but i'm unsure how to comment without saying how i interpret it?
It seems the teller of the story, the creater if you will is at first almost boasting, proud of his creation, his michelle, but as the story reaches the end he is apologetic, regretful, and ashamed.
I like the "hot bod" and the "hotrod bod", it helps to distinguish between those stanzas. I said this for one of your others but this could easily be translated into a song.
Written in 2001, i wonder what it means to you, what made you write this...
It's beautiful
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Well, you interpret it correctly. 
Sadly, I don't really remember what was going on in my life when I wrote this. As for what it means to me, well, I'd rather be mysterious and not say.
I'm glad you like it.
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That's understandable, if you don't like, you don't like. A writer is the hardest critic of their own work me thinks. I know that works for me. Fine don't say
You're welcome
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You were right, I enjoy this immensely.
BUT
"She'll do anything if give a nod,"
Is that supposed to be "given a nod,"? or "If I give a nod," ?
I liked how you wrote " 'e" instead of "he", that just.. caught me for some reason.
(to distract from the lack of real critical substance)
Great icon, by the way.
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"If I give a nod,"
thanks.
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