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Published: 2005-04-27 02:22:04 +0000 UTC; Views: 102; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 1
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Description
heavy breathsudden death
dont let me get to this
play with me stay with me
untill my collapse
apathy, agony,
know these things wont last
sleep with me
die with me
be my final sin
either way, i'm okay
i think i've lost my voice
scream in pain
all in vain
you know i had no choice
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Comments: 7
SpAzZnaticShuRIken [2009-01-28 02:57:43 +0000 UTC]
rofl this may be relevant to your interests
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
UsaniPanda [2005-04-28 01:27:11 +0000 UTC]
Oh yay a new poem! Its got a lot of emotion and I really like the structure and rhyme scheme. Something about it screams a desperate sort of emotion, a quick paced thought pattern. I like it alot.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
m32 In reply to UsaniPanda [2005-04-29 03:09:30 +0000 UTC]
Thankee.
"desperate sort of emotion" yup, right on target.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
somebody5000 [2005-04-27 23:49:02 +0000 UTC]
Good rhyming sccheme, this piece could also tranlate into a song lyric very easily, good job.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
FloydianJoe [2005-04-27 02:28:22 +0000 UTC]
Very dark and urgent....like a desperate stream-of-consciousness just before a proverbial bubble breaks. Excellent rhyme (found it quite bouncy), and of course I'm always a sucker for dark subject matter. Tip top work, my friend.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
m32 In reply to FloydianJoe [2005-04-29 03:04:09 +0000 UTC]
Thank you indeed. I'm glad you liked it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0