malignancy In reply to flamemc [2003-10-24 18:16:11 +0000 UTC]

Hmmm, I personally feel that the punctuation is essential for this poem. It emphasize's the narrator's bland, mono-tone voice, the empty space between the period and that next pain-filled word sputtering out, and lonliness of each phrase(which stands totally and utterly alone.) There's not supposed to be any real flow to it...I'm glad that you noticed that. Damn, if only you could see the picture, perhaps you might understand it on a whole new level.

Anyway, thank you very much for your comments on this poem. As President Bush says "I love it when the people speak their opinions."hahahaha, what a terrible statement that was. O God, I don't want to make a bad reputation for myself already....Dude, ok, thank you. Seriously, when people can stand up to me and criticize my work, I really admire and respect that.

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flamemc In reply to malignancy [2003-10-26 07:10:59 +0000 UTC]

Ok with a little explanation the format makes more sense, and it is effective. (Excuse my slowness in not picking it up, don't you hate having to explain your poetry!?).

I'm glad you take my comments for what they are; constructive criticism. Far too many writers seem to be overly precious about their work around here.

N

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malignancy In reply to flamemc [2003-10-26 19:55:13 +0000 UTC]

O blah...you're not slow at all. You just simply didn't know, and that's how it usually goes with poetry and all of that. Thanks again...and feel free to criticize any of these poems at any time, because I always like to hear what people think, and I'm always trying to find inspiration to make all things better.

"Far too many writers seem to be overly precious about their work around here."

As for them....well, lol that's how most poets are. We're all egotistical bastards when it comes to this shit.lol

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